11Gratuitous Lohan Crotch Shot of the Day

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March 29, 2007 at 12:05 pm by EvilT

2Lindsay and Stavros — Hells Yes

Normally it bothers me when Lindsay Lohan runs around hooking up with men, like, ten seconds after other women break up with them. But when the other woman is Paris Hilton, I’m all for it. Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos continues his tour of Hollywood’s vaginas with Miss Lohan this weekend. The two met up at Les Deux on Friday night (Lindsay ditched out on Parc after Paris Hilton showed up there — Paris must have only swung by Perez Hilton’s bday party for long enough to pose for pics and ensure that he’ll spend another year failing to cover her racist and slutty life), then left separately and met up at Bossa Nova. Apparently they hung out on Saturday night as well — not sure of the details yet though. Check out the video of Lindsay and Stav below.

March 26, 2007 at 9:42 am by Evil Beet

3Mama Lohan Seems Insane

Well of course Lindsay’s mom is insane, that was a safe bet from day one. It’s Lindsay herself who is probably struggling against all the craziness. So it’s her I am growing fonder of and her parents whom I’m starting to wish bad things upon. Here’s what loony toons mom had to say:

AP – New York Dina Lohan says her daughter Lindsay isn’t an alcoholic and that people are wrong to assume that she’s a club-hopping “party mom.” “Oh, the party mom, the party mom, the party mom!” Lohan says. “Whoever said that, my ex-husband or whatever, I’m not the party mom!”

First off, when you have to repeat something three times you’re then that thing. It’s just a fact. Watch this. “Oh, like I’m angry with you, so angry, look at the angry guy over here!” See? I said it three times because I couldn’t think of something more coherent to defend myself with. I’m clearly angry. Verdict: her mom is the party mom.

“Listen to me: Lindsay would drag me, literally drag my loser butt (to a club) and say, `I need you to know who these people are,’” Lohan, 44, says in an interview in the April issue of Harper’s Bazaar, on newsstands Tuesday. “Yeah, she trusts my judgment. She’s in such a whirlwind; she’s in a tornado. I mean, we’re talking serious earthquake, you know?”

Again with the three example thing, an excellent sign of mania. The “you know” signifies that she’d like you to join her in crazy city if at all possible. Besides that, non-crazy people say “I just feel like Lindsay needed someone there for her. She’s going through a lot.” Manic people use physical disaster metaphors. I wonder if we threw some mood stabilizers down her gullet and then talked to her what she’d sound like.

“Lindsay had to fall and get up,” she says. “I knew it was coming. I told her, but finally she was like, `Mommy, I had to do it myself.’”

YIKES! This means that either Lindsay calls her mom “mommy” or her mom infers that she’s her “mommy.” Either way it’s bad news because “mommy” is used by three year olds. When an adult calls you “mommy” it means they need help, they are powerless. They are using the verbiage of a kid. When a mom calls herself “mommy” it means she wants the control of her daughter being a three year old again. Like I said, either way, it’s not great news.

So the sum result is Lindsay is dealing with a self destructive father and an insane manic depressive mom. Most likely this is what got the happy couple together in the first place. So Lindsay here’s the route I’d take if I were you: Drink for a bit. Get that out of your system. Then get in about a therapy session a day to get the answers you need. Stop trying to get them from your parents because sadly they’re never going to have them.

March 22, 2007 at 11:47 am by Spiteful Lars

13Publicity Whore

Golden handcuffs hanging from your rear view mirror? Check. Lunch at the Ivy? Check. Publicity Whore? Check.

March 22, 2007 at 8:09 am by EvilT

11I’m Not Saying Lindsay Lohan Doesn’t Do Cocaine

But this, folks — Perez and everyone else who’s running this story — is not cocaine. This is light reflecting off big-ass diamond earrings. Story after story lately implies that sobriety didn’t really take for Linds, at least not this time around, but, come on, that doesn’t necessarily mean that anything appearing white and powderish within a 20-mile vicinity of her person is always cocaine. Sometimes it’s heroin.

March 19, 2007 at 7:57 am by Evil Beet

0Lindsay Lohan is Eating All the Leftovers

Oh, Lindsay, Lindsay. Where would we be without you? I know things are rough for you, what with you father being released from prison in, like, two hours, but do you really have to take your inner fear out on all the other women of Hollywood?

Lindsay’s prepping to head for London to film a new movie, The Best Time of Our Lives (co-starring Keira Knightley), and decided to get all her NYC (“sober”) partying out of her system beforehand. On her to-do list: DJ AM, recently split from Mandy Moore, and Jude Law, the on-again-off-again boyfriend of Sienna Miller. Lindsay partied with the two of them until the wee hours of the morning this weekend. Her mom Dina was at her side throughout, probably because she knows her daughter can score the best blow in town.

March 13, 2007 at 6:02 am by Evil Beet