Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Lindsay Lohan

Early Morning Musings: Cameron Diaz ASSAULTED!

People in this country seem to think it would be a good thing if Lindsay Lohan moved to London. Such thinking belies a tacit ignorance of the economic underpinnings of our nation. A drastic shift in the supply/demand curve of the blow industry impacts all of us. Cameron Diaz filed a police report accusing a photog of assault with a deadly weapon...

Midday Mess: Kate & Owen Sittin’ in a Tree

For the eight of you who are still watching the actual SNL rather than the newer, hipper, Sorkin’d-out Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, you’ll be sorry (or perhaps not) to hear that the annual bloodletting at the Lorne Michaels antiquity means the show will say goodbye to Chris Parnell, Horatio Sanz and Finesse Mitchell. In honor of...

Odds and Ends: And Just When You Were Jonesing for a Dana Plato Update

Because if I can’t blog about the retarded shit celebs did today, the terrorists have already won. David Spade and Heather Locklear are dunzo; her latest boy-toy is a Colorado realtor with a striking resemblance to Joe Simpson. But I adore her, so I’m setting down my bat and walking away from the soft ball. Sean “Puff Daddy/P...