Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Lindsay Lohan

I Wonder If Ali Lohan’s Going to Be as Big a Trainwreck as Her Sister

photos of ali lohan wearing skimpy clothing modeling sister lindsay lohan's clothing line 6126 pictures

Have you seen our sixteen-year-old girlfriend’s latest photo shoot, modeling sister Lindsay’s 6126 clothing line? I don’t know what appalls me more — the fact that Ali Lohan is parading around looking like a drugged-out flapper in cheap lace, or the fact that the clothing line itself sucks so hard. Both kind of put a funny feeling in my stomach, and not like the one that you used to get climbing the rope in gym class. Because that wasn’t in your stomach.

I mean, I get that these photos (and this clothing on a sixteen-year-old) might be appropriate in the Lohan household, but in real life, guys? Three words: ‘what,’ ‘the,’ and ‘fuck.’

That’s all, I guess.

Lindsay Lohan Failed A Couple Drug Tests

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

And after we all had such high hopes for her.

Yeah, last week Lindsay tested positive for cocaine, and she also failed another drug test for an unspecified substance that was not cocaine.  The failure of a drug test is supposed to mean 30 days of jail, but I guess we’ll see about that.  I mean, she spent only 23 of what was originally 90 days in rehab, so it doesn’t look like anyone is too concerned about strict adherence to sentences in this situation.  It’s also being said that because of these test results, the judge might refuse to let Lindsay leave the state, which would mean no Inferno or Saturday Night Live, but again, we’ll see.

In typical Lindsay fashion, she took to her Twitter to explain the situation:

Regrettably, I did in fact fail my most recent drug test and if I am asked, I am prepared to appear before judge Fox next week as a result.

Substance abuse is a disease, which unfortunately doesn’t go away over night. I am working hard to overcome it and am taking positive steps forward every day. I am testing every single day and doing what I must do to prevent any mishaps in the future.

This was certainly a setback for me but I am taking responsibility for my actions and I’m prepared to face the consequences.

I am so thankful for the support of my fans, loved ones and immediate family, who understand that i am trying hard, but also that I am a work in progress, just as anyone else. I am keeping my faith, and I am hopeful….Thank you all!!!

To be honest, I’m kind of over it.  At this point, I feel like Lindsay is kind of like my cousin who used to be completely awesome and fun and smart and just great until she started doing cocaine, and it was a little iffy for a few years, like there were still the memories of her being her old self and doing great things, but then she went off to snort a line or whatever, and now it’s hard to care anymore because she keeps dropping out of rehab and telling lies and stealing my grandma’s nerve pills.  That’s what Lindsay Lohan is like.

I know addiction is a disease, but if you don’t treat a disease, it’s not really going to get better.

Happy Early Christmas: Our Girl Lindsay Might Be Hosting SNL This December

photo of a redheaded lindsay lohan with red hair out and about in los angeles on september 14th

According to the New York Daily News, Lindsay Lohan is “in talks” with NBC’s Saturday Night Live to negotiate hosting duties for a December show — namely, December 4th.  However, the show’s spokespeople are naturally remaining mum on any developments, stating “We never comment on upcoming hosts until they’re announced.”  Old hat.

But come on. Who wouldn’t want Lindsay on their show at this point in her career? Though her last few pre-jail movies had fledgling (OK, practically non-existent) ratings, and a lot of production companies wanted nothing to do with her because she was too difficult to insure, networks would be crazy not to hop on the Lindsay train right now.  Everybody wants some.  Everyone wants to know what she’s doing, wants to see her on live television, and is nuts to hear about the fallen star’s future plans. Plus, she’s a redhead again –and you just know this means that she’s serious about her career once more.

I’m making a solid bet that Lindsay’s going to be on SNL — if not on December 4th, then even sooner.