Just another sickening battle in the war on privacy we call fame. Some enterprising young stalker has apparently captured a Lohan grocery receipt. How do we know it’s a Lohan grocery receipt?
Her name’s not on it anywhere. Okay, her name is on the bottom, but it’s not like that proves anything. I could get a Ralphs card as Lindsay Lohan, too. The list includes:
- Chaser (a popular hangover “cure”)
- 2 bottles of Nyquil
- 1 box Claritin tablets
- 1 box of Sudafed
- 1 box of Unisom
- 2 boxes green tea supplement
- 4 frozen dinners
- 3 bottles of wine
- 2 bags of Doritos
- Miracle Whip
- grated Parmesan cheese
- Philly Cream Cheese
- 2 jugs of cranberry juice
- Honey Nut Cheerios
- 12 pack of Diet Coke
- 3 packs of American Spirits
- Tums Smoothies
- 1 box of Magnum Trojans
So as best I can tell, your local meth lab threw a lovely Labor Day picnic.
I’m not yet convinced this receipt belongs to La Lohan. This could just as easily be a PR stunt by Trojan, AmSpirit or Chaser. I’m waiting for some proof.
Pictures of Harry and his beloved Pink Taco in Hawaii. I think, because these pics are so genuinely cute (and because anyone reppin’ Scottsdale is my homie), I’m going to try not to make fun of either of them today. We’ll see how that goes.
[more pics at SplashNewsOnline]
- Photogs catch Harry Morton purchasing an engagement ring at Cartier. Could a proposal be in the works for his very own Pink Taco, La Lohan? Probably not, but it’s late August and the VMAs haven’t started yet, so let’s just speculate for awhile.
- Paris Hilton has managed, in a mere 24 hours, to be linked romantically with both Lance Armstrong and Travis Barker. What an unpredictable little whorecake she is.
- John Mayer denies the Jessica Simpson romance with his own patented brand of brood and angst.
- Okay, okay, okay. John Travolta just might be gay. Act surprised. Thanks to Dave at Maassive for the push.
- “Jump the couch.” A defining moment when you know someone has gone off the deep end. Know it. Love it. Say it.
- I haven’t posted about Donald Faison and Cacee Cobb in at least two days. So you’ll all be relieved to know that they showed up together to TV Guide’s Post-Emmy bash at Social Hollywood. I think it’s time to stop speculating and start coping. They’re a couple.
- Gwen Stefani is boycotting the VMAs because she tries really hard to sing good and dance sexy but she just really feels like they’re being nicer to Kelly Clarkson and sometimes she feels picked on like they just really don’t care if they hurt her feelings and it’s just not faaaaiiiir.
- Yes, okay, here’s the Beyonce nip slip. Are you happy? Now leave me to wallow in the sad, Beyonce-nip-slip-posting life I’ve created for myself. I wanted to write literary fiction once, you know.
- La Lohan’s pop would like the opportunity to expound on his prison art.
- Recently divorced Hilary Swank is dating her not-quite-yet-divorced agent at CAA. Will she never get involved with someone famous?
- JT and Cameron in splitsville? Perez Hilton thinks mayhaps.
- I am not writing about or linking to anything regarding Suri Cruise’s fecal matter, be it bronzed or otherwise. I’m just not. Sorry to disappoint.
- That girl with two vaginas? She has a blog now.
- 24-year-old fashion assistant Bridget Grish gets fired from Life & Style after her amateur porn videos show up on the web. There’s a lesson in there somewhere, I’m sure of it.
- Harry Morton — La Lohan’s latest squeeze — wants to lend his Mexican-cum-vagina-themed restaurant’s name, Pink Taco, to the Arizona Cardinals new stadium. There’s an Arizona-Cardinals-are-pussies joke to be made here, but after writing the previous sentence, I’m in no mood to think it up.
- No one wants to see the AmIdol tour. Which is surprising only when you consider that the So You Think You Can Dance tour is selling out most cities in minutes. Maybe next season they should divide the performers up by race.
- If you liked Mean Girls, you’ll love Heathers 2.
- When William H. Macy goes on the record with how much you suck, Lindsay Lohan, you must totally suck.
- Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have been lurking around the Yahoo/HBO complex in Santa Monica. They must have found a sitter for their little Suri. And by “sitter” I of course mean “fake sitter,” and by “Suri” I of course mean “PR stunt.”
- Since he can’t marry Kate Moss just yet, Pete Doherty is passing the time by sneaking cocaine to teenagers in rehab.