Some very critical stories have broken in the past hour. Normally I like to take little breaks from blogging during the day to, you know, do stuff at the job I have that pays me in cash (rather than critical acclaim) and covers my health plan, but there is simply no time
for that today.
- Lindsay Lohan was seen sucking face with Stavros Niarchos last night at Dragonfly. In case you’d forgotten about him already, Stavros is the Greek shipping heir who was at one point engaged to none other than Paris Hilton.
- Laguna Beach’s Jason Wahler was arrested — again — on Friday, for battery, after an altercation with a Department of Transportation officer and a tow truck driver. I have created an Evil Beet Hypothetical Transcript of said arrest:
JASON: (sniff) Hey, Mr. Tow Truck Driver, what are you (sniff) doing? (sniff)
TOW TRUCK DRIVER: I am towing your automobile because you did something illegal with it.
JASON: No you’re not, asshole. You have no right!
TTD: Actually, I do.
JASON: Like hell you do. I think we ought to (sniff) get an officer from the Department of Transportation involved in this little snafu. He is certain to see it from my point of view. (sniff sniff, shiver)
TTD: Okay, I’ll summon one.
[both smoke cigarettes]DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION OFFICER: I was summoned?
JASON: Yeah, um, (sniff) this tow truck driver believes he has the right to tow my automobile.
DOTO: As a matter of fact, son, he does.
JASON: Don’t you (sniff) know who I am?
JASON: (punches both men in the face)
Update: I’m so silly. Hilton dated Niarchos, but she was never engaged to him. She was engaged to an entirely different Greek shipping heir, Paris Latsis. Seriously, if I can’t keep things like this straight, what right do I even have to live?
You know those awkward days after a break-up, where you still have to see the guy every now and then to work out the details? Who’s keeping the dog? Where are my bikinis? You owe me $30 for that time I paid for the cab. Won’t you please reconsider? Please?
In the new media, EdTV life of Lindsay Lohan, these moments are captured on tape and broadcast to an international audience via the web.
Play along, won’t you?
TMZ has tape of Lindsay showing up at Harry’s West Hollywood office yesterday, a day after she got dumped by Morton at the Chateau Marmont.
We’d like to take a moment to thank our sponsors. This particular summer in Lindsay Lohan’s life has been made possible by the following:
I love it when there’s a ton of cool stuff breaking on a Friday afternoon.
- Grey’s Anatomy kicks some CSI ass, while ANTM stays fierce on the CW.
- Die Hard 4: Live Free or Die Hard (uuuuugh) rounds out its cast with Justin Long and Maggie Q. The fourth installment of the Bruce Willis-as-Jack-Bauer series begins shooting in Baltimore this weekend.
- Is $1B a reasonable valuation for Facebook? Time Warner CEO Dick Parsons thinks not.
- Holy fucking shit. PerezHilton.com had 2 million unique visitors yesterday. This blog thing may take off after all.
- Nicky Hilton’s beau Kevin Connolly punches Brandon Davis in the face — twice! — at a party at Paris Hilton’s house. Why? Who cares? Way to go, E!
- Making an appearance at the same party was La Lohan, who I hear got her ass dumped by Harry Morton after dinner last night at Chateau Marmont. I’ve heard from several sources that she and Paris were playing nice at the party, with Paris even trying to convince Linds that the many reports of her talking shit about the broken-wristed starlet were false. My guess? Lindsay’d been trying to keep her nose clean (literally) to maintain a relationship with Harry Morton, who’s well known to be sober, but when that fell apart she went crawling back to her old cokey pals, Paris & Co, within hours.
A pretty funny video from X17, as the paparazzi follow LiLo around for the better part of a day. She eats at Il Fornaio with Harry Morton and a woman who is either a rookie personal assistant or a very entitled friend.
Before Lindsay leaves the restaurant, this mystery woman comes out and instructs the paparazzi that she “needs them to stay at least ten feet back.” The paparazzi chirp their agreement — “yes yes, no problem, of course, sure, you got it” — and, confident her natural genius for paparazzi negotiation has once again worked its subtle magic, she heads back inside the restaurant.
She emerges later with Lindsay, who is instantly clobbered by photogs.