Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Lindsay Lohan

Menage a Trois!

Paris and Lindsay can never stay mad at each other, and it seems now Britney Spears has been drawn into this love/hate relationship. It wasn’t too long ago that Lindsay Lohan was caught on camera calling Paris Hilton a cunt. On Wednesday night, Lindsay pulled up to Hollywood hotspot Teddy’s — where Britney and Paris were partying inside — with Kevin Federline’s CD blasting in her car, and announced that she thought K-Fed was sexy and might be interested in “hooking up with him.” (Britney was overheard later saying “Tell her please, seriously, take him!”) Then, on Sunday, L2 told paparazzi that Paris Hilton had hit her with a drink at a party on Saturday night (watch the video).

The natural conclusion to all this is, of course, the three girls partying together on Sunday night, and leaving in the same car. In the video, Paris is asked about the drink-pouring incident, and she directs the paparazzi to Lohan herself, who is walking up behind them. “Lindsay, tell them the truth!” she says. “Paris never hit me,” says Lohan, “she’s my friend. Everyone lies about everything…she never did that, she’s a good girl, she’s a nice person. Please, stop trying to make us hate each other.” (Um, Lindsay, stop talking trash about her on video.) As she gets into the car with Britney and Paris, a photog actually says “Oh, this is classic.”

I should note that, in the 18,000 videos of Paris and Britney leaving clubs together this week, Britney almost never says a thing. She is clearly way too busy being ridiculously drunk, holding onto Paris, a publicist, and/or a car to maintain her balance most of the time. As she stumbles into the car in the last video, and the photogs try to take up-skirt shots, Paris admonishes them, “Guys, don’t be pervs.” (They got the shot anyway).

Oh, man, I cannot wait until Paris and Britney get into a huge fight. Maybe Britney will sleep with Stavros. Or Paris will sleep with K-Fed (although the former Mr. Spears is rumored to already have a new woman). Or Britney will become BFF with Shanna Moakler (whom, claims Travis Barker, has always been jealous of Paris). The possibilities are endless! Stay tuned!

Lindsay Lohan Sobered by Death of Robert Altman

LiLo released the following statement yesterday:

I would like to send my condolences out to Catherine Altman, Robert Altmans wife, as well as all of his immediate family, close friends, co-workers, and all of his inner circle.

I feel as if I’ve just had the wind knocked out of me and my heart aches.

If not only my heart but the heart of Mr. Altman’s wife and family and many fellow actors/artists that admire him for his work and love him for making people laugh whenever and however he could..

Robert altman made dreams possible for many independent aspiring filmmakers, as well as creating roles for countless actors.

I am lucky enough to of been able to work with Robert Altman amongst the other greats on a film that I can genuinely say created a turning point in my career.

I learned so much from Altman and he was the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I’ve had in several years.

The point is, he made a difference.

He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do.

So every day when you wake up.

Look in the mirror and thank god for every second you have and cherish all moments.
The fighting, the anger, the drama is tedious.

Please just take each moment day by day and consider yourself lucky to breathe and feel at all and smile. Be thankful.

Life comes once, doesn’t ‘keep coming back’ and we all take such advantage of what we have.
When we shouldn’t….. ‘

Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves’ (12st book) -everytime there’s a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on.-altman Its true. But treasure each triumph as they come.

If I can do anything for those who are in a very hard time right now, as I’m one of them with hearing this news, please take advantage of the fact that I’m just a phone call away.

God Bless, peace and love always.

Thank You,
Lindsay Lohan

I hope you don’t mind — I’ve taken the initiative to put in bold the distinctly AA phrases (“12st book” here means, I’m sure, “12-step book”) Lindsay used in her statement, which, quite frankly, sounds as though it was written while under the influence. This is the same young lady who, earlier this month, was spotted leaving the Ivy wearing an AA 90-day chip. Well, Linds, even if you’re not staying sober, it’s good to see some of that 12-step business is sticking in your head. Keep coming back, I guess!

Um…I Like Lindsay Lohan Today

This hasn’t happened in a long time. She recently gave an interview to GQ, and, you know what? She’s pretty funny. I laughed — with her, for once, not at her. Here’s a snippet:

We met Lindsay Lohan in the garden of the Chateau Marmont hotel in Hollywood. We had a margarita. She had a…beverage.

Can we tell people we’re doing this interview in the men’s room at Yankee Stadium?
Yes. And tell them that we’re dating.

Does it make you sad that celebrity magazines never write about you?
It does. I really wish they would do more. I’m trying to become friends with all the cool famous people, the ones that go to clubs all the time—try to get into those tabloids a little more.

Tell me about an average day in the life of Lindsay Lohan.
It starts out with a 5 a.m. hike through Runyon Canyon to watch the sunrise. Then I go outside, and I try to find the paparazzi. I go down to Robertson Boulevard, try and search for them, find them, and bring them food.

And then what do you do at night?
Well, of course, I’m sitting at the computer all night.

Have you ever read anything interesting about yourself on the Internet?
No. I wish they’d be clever and make something up for me.

There’s some interesting stuff about you. Irocman39 in Skokie, Illinois, says you’re the “smokinest woman on the face of the earth”—
God bless him.

—and that he wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eating saltines.
I don’t eat. Don’t you people know? It’s all about anorexia and bulimia nervosa.

After computer time, when do you go to bed?
No later than 9:30 p.m.—ever. On a good night, it’s eight fifteen.

And to top it off, she looks damn hot in the photo shoot. She only spends about half of the shots giving the camera her patented I’m-Lindsay-Lohan-and-I-am-confused-and-surprised-by-my-surroundings look. And I love her shoes. That has never happened.

Lindsay Calls Paris a Cunt…Buys a New Bag

It is so weird that Hollywood has become a warped version of High School. This whole Paris/Lindsay/Stavros/Nicole/Harry/Brandon situation is getting nuts. It seems every night one of them hooks up with someone or says something vicious behind his or her backs. Last night was not an exception. Lindsay was out, again, you know, because she is “not a party girl.” I really want to forward that girl a list of my favorite TV shows and movies. I think it would start to just be exhausting to whore it up 7 days a week. Last night, Lindsay was out at the Genetic Denim One-Year Anniversary Party but Wed, she was off throwing verbal assaults at Paris Hilton.
Wanna see her calling Paris a cunt? Here ya go!
I guess what prompted this was that Paris was making out with Stavros and Paris was chatting with Harry. Wait, no, Lindsay was making out with Stavros and Paris was chatting with Harry. I guess Lindsay was tired from all her partying because she took a pit stop to pick up a $4,000 bag.
Ah Young Hollywood.

Picking up the Pieces, Just Like Reese Witherspoon Has to Now

Reese Witherspoon officially files for divorce, then tells her manager to text Ryan Phillippe to let him know. [ICYDK]

Lindsay Lohan’s car is hit — again — by paparazzi. [Egotastic]

Bill Cosby settles his sexual assault charge for an undisclosed amount. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Remember Raj from The Apprentice? Apparently he was running for Congress in Pennsylvania. If I’d known that, I might have paid attention to these elections. But, once again, he wasn’t hired. [Junkiness]

Kellie Pickler’s album debuts at #1 on the country charts. “WHAT?” screams Faith Hill. But she was just joking. [Girls Talkin' Smack]

Socialites say the darndest things. [Gawker]

Lindsay Lohan ::Hearts:: Courtney Love

Since I’m loathe to let other news fall through the cracks on Britney Spears (Divorce) Day, I must note that Gawker ran a piece today containing an excerpt from Courtney Love’s new book, Dirty Blonde. The excerpt was an email conversation between C-Lo and LiLo. The subject is the nasty profile Vanity Fair ran on Lohan. If you read very carefully and slowly, it’s almost like they’re using the same English language as I do.

Subject: Keep your chin up
I realise now that as hardcore as it was, it made me alot more interesting and somehow employable. Keep your chin up. Noones giving it a second though. I bet its hard because you’re in it, but just keep creative and surrounded by good people. Courtney

Subject: Re: Keep your chin up
You first off, are so amazing, and introspective and kind and I really admire your perspective on things, as well as you taking the time to be so curteous in my situation and these sickofans that invest in our lives that we work for and aspire to have. People that are so unhappy with their own lives that they have to pry and lie about anothers . . .
But again, you, second off, its really rad that you’re even emailing me and have so much care to give me your insight because you’re bloody fucking genius in all the things you do, amongst all the shit you’ve been through . . .
Can we meet sometimes and talk and chat like normal people so that I can pick your brain?
Also, my mommy says hello and she loves you tons. Hehe :) . . . I need to go to a gym! Peace and Love, Lindsay