Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Lindsay Lohan

PETA Offers To Pay For Lindsay’s Rehab

PETA is too adorable. They jump at every chance they get to involve themselves in a big news story and turn it into an issue of animal cruelty.

Just today they’ve offered to cover Lindsay Lohan’s $50,000 rehab bill if she promises to give up meat and become vegan.

Here’s the letter they wrote her:

Dear Lindsay,

We understand that you’ve fallen on tough economic times, so we’re writing to you with an offer that we sincerely hope you’ll consider.

PETA will help pay your $50,000 bill for substance addiction treatment if you’ll rid yourself of one more toxic substance: meat. As you know, a crucial part of any recovery is showing charity to others. One way to do this is to be kind to animals, the Earth, and your own body. You’ll never regret it.

When animals are crammed together on factory farms, disease spreads fast, so cows, chickens, and other animals are fed large amounts of antibiotics to make them grow more quickly and keep them alive in filthy conditions that would otherwise kill them. However, the health risks involved in using such methods are so great that many countries have banned the use of antibiotics and hormones in animals who are raised and killed for food. In addition to feeding antibiotics to animals who are raised for food, farmers in the U.S. give powerful growth-stimulating steroids to cattle, which means that you ingest drugs every time you take a bite of chicken, pork, fish, or beef. Many animals are also sprayed with pesticides. And consuming animal-derived products exposes you to pathogens such as E. coli, listeria, and campylobacter. Finally, much of the meat sold in the U.S. is contaminated with fecal bacteria.

The good news is that a clean, tasty vegan diet can provide all the nutrients that you need, minus the contaminants, saturated fat, and cholesterol that are found in animal flesh, eggs, and dairy foods. Vegans also have stronger immune systems than meat-eaters. It’s all good news.

Today, stores carry everything from soy “Buffalo wings” to fakin’ bacon and fib ribs—not to mention a wealth of fresh fruit, vegetables, nuts, grains, and more—so it has never been easier to go vegan. California rehabilitation centers have a great reputation for catering to vegan patients too. To help guide your decision, we’ll be sending you our new “Glass Walls” DVD, narrated by Sir Paul McCartney, and our vegetarian/vegan starter kit, which is full of useful information.

Please let us know if you’d like to take us up on our offer.

Best wishes,

Michelle Cho

They expect the girl to give up drinking, cocaine, prescription pills AND bacon and leather? All in one six month period? Ease up, PETA. The woman is in a weakened state and shouldn’t be hounded any more than she already has been.

Emma Stone Did a Weak, Easy Impression of Lindsay Lohan on SNL This Weekend

Emma Stone is absolutely gorgeous and after I saw Easy A, I was going around telling everyone that she was definitely the next Lindsay Lohan. A young, pretty redhead who can act pretty well and deliver laughs, right?

Then I caught Emma’s episode of SNL this weekend and eh, I dunno. Lohan kind of killed SNL her first time hosting and Emma’s whole episode was brought down by this one rude-ass impression she did of Lindsay. It could have been harsher, sure, but it was so unnecessary and the jokes were nothing new. In fact, they felt old. As if they were picked out of the carpet on the floor of the writer’s room.

I’m a gossip blogger. It’s kind of my job here to report all the details on people like Lindsay, but that’s Emma’s peer. A fellow young actress and one that was, at one time, hugely successful. The two look alike and so it’s natural that Emma would attempt an impression of her during the show, but the angle they took made the show look rustier than ever and Emma a little less classy.

What did you think of this sketch? I’d watch Fred do Joy Behar all day, BTW.

Lindsay Lohan Will Spend Christmas and New Years in Rehab

As Sarah mentioned this morning, Lindsay Lohan left rehab last night for her court hearing and now she’ll be headed right back. The judge gave Lindsay no jail time and instead is sending her back to treatment, where she will be forced to stay until at least January 3rd, 2011.

TMZ reported that when the judge addressed Lindsay, she said, “You are an addict. I hope you understand that. I don’t want another train wreck.”

The actress nodded her head in agreement and said, “No, your honor. I understand. Thank you.”

Guys, I’m really, really hoping that this is what it takes to straighten her out. I miss her on Twitter. :(