Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Lindsay Lohan

Late-Night Links

If you had to be in rehab with Lindsay Lohan, you’d drink, too. [A Socialite's Life]

Not only is Britney Spears still dating Jewish actor/model Isaac Cohen, she’s sporting a star of David. Also, I challenge all readers to beat X17′s headline for this one. I don’t feel it’s possible. [X17]

Sienna Miller left her pants at the Factory Girl premiere. [ICYDK]

You always knew Paris Hilton was a racist bitch, but thankfully we now have it all on tape. [WWTDD]

Pete Doherty takes his eight millionth shot at getting sober. If this guy were a stock, I’d short it. [Cele|bitchy]

Brandy is slapped with a $50 million suit by the parents of the woman she killed in a traffic accident late last year. [Bossip]

Jennifer Lopez isn’t a Scientologist, she just throws them her support when they’re boosting her career. [Celebslam]

Lindsay Lohan’s Appendix Still Hasn’t Worked the 12 Steps

Ladies and gentleman:

The moment you’ve all been waiting for has arrived.

LINDSAY LOHAN HAS CHECKED INTO REHAB.

After her latest hospitalization for an “appendectomy” failed to result in the surgical removal of her drinking problem, the starlet finally decided to check herself out of Hyde and into a facility. Lindsay has spoken of attendance at AA meetings, and has been spotted lately drinking only from a water bottle at clubs, but multiple sources confirm that those water bottles are regularly filled with vodka.

Says Lohan through her rep, “I have made a proactive decision to take care of my personal health. I appreciate your well wishes and ask that you please respect my privacy at this time.”
For what it’s worth, Lindsay, good luck.

Lindsay and Joey, Sittin’ in a Pile of Cocaine and Rape Allegations

Oh, yay. Lindsay Lohan’s getting her pork on with certified rapist extraordinaire Joe Francis, who, when not forcing himself on underage girls or physically abusing female journalists or getting his ass sodomized by distant associates of Paris Hilton, produces the hard-hitting documentaries in the Girls Gone Wild series. The Post reports that Francis was by Lindsay’s side during her “appendectomy” hospitalization, probably because he’s the one who sold her the shit that … um … damaged her appendix. This can really only be healthy for Linds. Way to go.

Late-Night Links

Now you can cross “See Steven Tyler’s bare ass” off your list of things to do before you die. I know, I know. When you put it on there twenty years ago it seemed a much more appealing proposal. Beggars can’t be choosers. But thankfully his daughter girlfriend is there to add a touch of youth to the image. [MollyGood]

How is it surprising to anyone, let alone someone who has actually had sex with her, that Anna Nicole continues to sell pictures of her baby to the tabloids? Come on, Larry Birkhead. You know you’re loving this. [Cele|bitchy]

Britney and her new parasite drop $40K a night on the Hugh Hefner suite at The Palms. I’m not sure why she needs that rotating bed. You know the whole room is spinning for her by bedtime anyway.* [Pop on the Pop]

Who is Keeley Hazell? Who cares? Her sex tape leaked. [Bossip]

Damn. I was in the Lindsay-Lohan’s-boobs-are-real camp for a long, long time, but now I’m starting to have second thoughts. [Yeeeah!]

Oh happy day! It turns out Gwen Stefani looks human before you airbrush the hell out of her. [Teddy and Moo]

Snore. Heather Mills wins something in her never-ending battle with Sir Paul McCartney. Wake me when I’m British. [Monica Monroe]

*A special congrats to Isaac Cohen, who, having been Britney’s boy-toy for over a week now, has earned his previously irrelevant ass its very own label here on the Beet.

Late-Night Links

After hubby Becks signed with the L.A. Galaxy last week, Victoria Beckham arrives in Los Angeles to do whatever it is that Victoria Beckham does. [DListed]

Well, the sooner Denise Richards marries Richie Sambora, the sooner she can leave him for her best friend’s husband. No, I’m kidding, that would never happen. Denise Richards doesn’t have friends. [A Socialite's Life]

It’s about time we started rumors that Jessica Alba’s engaged. [The Blemish]

Britney Spears takes Sean Preston to the park, pretends to interact with him. I’m not sure if she’s more neglectful toward her child or her hair extensions. It’s a tough call lately. [Celebrity Smack]

Lauren Graham (aka Lorelei Gilmore) is reportedly a diva on the set. [Celeb Warship]

Is it possible all Saturday Night Live really needed was YouTube? Following the smash Internet success of “Dick in a Box,” the ailing SNL is back in the blogosphere with Jack Gyllenhaal’s brilliant rendition of Dreamgirls‘ “You’re Gonna Love Me.” [popbytes]

Lindsay Lohan looks stunning in her new Miu Miu ads. Also: she doesn’t look anything at all like Lindsay Lohan. [Dirty Laundry]

Agent Provocateur releases the third film in their series, “Kate Moss in Underwear Saying Nonsensical Yet Remarkably Underwear-Selling Things.” [Agent Bedhead]

Ah, the changing of the celebrity gossip guard. Molly Goodson is movin’ on up to PopSugar, but be sure to swing by Mollygood to heckle the new guy. [Mollygood, PopSugar]

Lindsay’s New Man is Ashlee’s Ex

It’s about time Lindsay Lohan took up with a new man. I’m getting tired of running stories about her drug problem. Her flavor of the month is Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz, the rocker who got into the most inexplicable boxing match with a concertgoer this weekend. He is also — perhaps not coincidentally — the ex-boyfriend of Ashlee Simpson, whom Lindsay accused of dating her own ex, Wilmer Valderrama, a while back (hence Ashlee’s song “Boyfriend”).

Fun fact about Pete Wentz: his penis is on the Internet. His sidekick got raided, and the naked pics he’d taken of himself (hopefully to send to someone else and not just for his own viewing pleasure) made the Internet rounds in March (NSFW). He was bright enough to leave his face out of the nudy pics, but his pelvic art makes for a pretty easy ID. (What on earth is that thing anyway? A bat? A gremlin? Inquiring minds want to know!)

It Is Possible Lindsay Lohan Did Not Have Appendicitis


According to Page Six, Lindsay’s hospital stay for “appendicitis” may be a result of yet another days-long drug and alcohol binge. The starlet, who has admitted to seeking recovery in AA, reportedly had over 20 friends in and out of her apartment on Wednesday night. They “were not there to bring her chicken soup,” says a source.

Lohan called in sick to the set of the movie she’s filming and was admitted to the hospital on Thursday. Apparently these guests were helping her continue the “constant party she started on New Year’s.” Rumors have begun that the billion bottles of water we’ve seen Lindsay carrying out of clubs lately are actually filled with vodka (as bloggers have long speculated). She won’t let actual bottles of liquor near her table at clubs, lest she be photographed with them.