Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Lindsay Lohan

It’s Like, Yeah, Motherfucker, I’ve Got Seven Days

We heard it from some jackass in a meeting.* We heard it from her mother. We heard it from her publicist. Now we’re hearing it from Lindsay Lohan herself:

“I just left an AA meeting,” she told People magazine. “I haven’t had a drink in seven days. Or anything.”

“I’ve been going to AA for a year by the way,” she added. “I’m not even legal to, so why would I? I don’t drink when I go to clubs. [Ed: Yeah, right] I drink with my friends at home, but there’s no need to. I feel better not drinking. It’s more fun. I have Red Bull.”

When asked why she was attending meetings, Lindsay said “I was like, `I don’t want to be written about at these clubs with these people. I work, I act, I have a living. That’s what I do every day. I work every single day.”

I’m actually not going to be snarky about this, because we bitch and moan about what drunken assholes these celebs are all the time, so now that one of them is taking steps to address the underlying issues, I’m not going to bitch and moan about it. Rock on, Linds, and keep coming back.

* For the record, I’ve decided that the “eyewitness” who saw Lohan in an AA meeting in Los Angeles was probably her publicist, trying to rehab her reputation. If Page Six ran a story every time they got a report that an A- or B-list celeb showed up at an AA meeting, they wouldn’t have column space to print anything else. And I don’t think they’re such huge assholes that they’d take it upon themselves to sacrifice her anonymity. The U.S. media is typically pretty responsible about that sort of thing.

Cleaning up the Weekend

After almost days of searching, the paparazzi catch Nicole Richie and Joel Madden together. Take that, Hilary Duff. Now you’re left all alone with your hyper-successful, talent-driven career and your consistently positive media image. They sure showed you. [X17]

Paris. Miami. Stavros. [Hollyscoop]

With Paris Hilton safely on another coast, Lindsay Lohan appears to have put together several days of sobriety. Rock on. [Page Six]

Ellen Pompeo thinks she would look really good if she could just manage to put on five or ten more pounds. I think Ellen Pompeo would look really good with a black eye and a few broken ribs. [A Socialite's Life]

Pics of the Jolie-Pitts, sans Shiloh, in NYC. [Mollygood]

Beyonce’s not the only one pissed that Jennifer Hudson got the role of Effie in Dreamgirls. But at least Fantasia Barrino will cop to it. [Snarky Gossip]

Fashion Victim of the Week

Lindsay, you made it too easy for me this week. I really thought I would go outside the box and find some D list celebrity to make fun of but then I saw this. Nobody should wear a jumpsuit unless they are fixing your toilet. I don’t care if this jumpsuit cost $2,500. Linsday has been looking really bloated these days and wearing a shapeless jumpsuit really doesn’t help to quell the rumors that she is plumping up. I miss Linsday when she had red hair and wore jeans and t-shirts. No matter how hard she tries, she is no fashionista.

Lindsay Lohan: Corrected


From our friends at GoFugYourself….this is too wonderful for words. Someone actually grammatically corrects Lindsay’s incoherent email about Al Gore and Aliens or whatever. I love how she thinks that she is famous enough that politicians will really care that people badmouth her in the press. I hope she knows that all of her “bad publicity” is the only reason why she is famous. It isn’t for her stellar acting chops. Honestly hon, since “Mean Girls” it has just been downhill.

Girl is a nutcase. To see how smart Lindsay is, click here.

SIGN THE LOHANIFESTO

Step up! Be a man! If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

Lindsay Lohan needs you to join her cause. She is definitely against something, and she is definitely willing to fight for it, and she definitely NEEDS AND WANTS YOUR HELP. The exact nature of this cause is inconclusive right now, but who cares? Al Gore and the Clinton Administration have already lent it their full support. Come on board!

SIGN THE LOHANIFESTO!

Pols Won’t Touch LiLo with a 10-Foot Pole

So after reading the drunk-ass email LiLo sent out last night, I was thinking, “Did anyone think to ask Al Gore for comment?”

YES!

I LOVE TMZ!

Genius, genius, genius!

They contacted his rep for comment.

“I can confirm for you that Mr. Gore has only met Ms. Lohan once, very briefly, at the GQ Men of the Year dinner last week. There were hundreds of other guests.”

And just because they rock that much, they contacted Barack Obama’s rep. Obama was not even mentioned in Lohan’s email, but he’ll be running against Hillary Clinton, who was. TMZ asked him if he had any advice as to whether Hillary should help Lindsay out.

“I don’t think we have any comment on that,” said an aide. TMZ continued to press the issue. “We’re going to take a pass,” insisted the aide.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Soooo amazing.

Sobriety Maybe Not Going So Well for LiLo


She sent out another one of her crazy-ass drunk/high/whatever emails. From Page Six:

LINDSAY Lohan is preparing to clean up her image and go to war with the media with the help of a high-powered friend – former Vice President Al Gore.

“Al Gore will help me. He came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me,” Lohan wrote last week in a rambling, semi-literate e-mail to her friends and lawyers.

In the bizarre message read by Page Six, Lohan burbled, “If he is willing to help me, let’s find out. Hilary [sic] Clinton, Bill Clinton, and Evan Metroplis [sic], and John Daur who works with them would be willing, if we just ask. If we just ASK.”

Lohan was apparently inspired to send out the e-mail by a Page Six item on her “mean girls diva fit” at a GQ magazine party in L.A. Referring to a supermarket tabloid report claiming she had overdosed on drugs, she wrote, “Let’s sue the tabloids for saying the things they say. Defamation of character.”

Invoking what she puzzlingly calls the “way of the future-Howard Hughes,” her desire is to “release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite [sic] letter to the press.”

Lohan says she wants to state her opinions on “how our society should be educated for the better of our country. Our people . . . because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see.”

Lohan then mentions taking a mystery person she refers to as “LR” to court for “what she’s done to me.

“It’s my life. I want to live it. People cannot lie and think that it is okay to continue on having done so. I have had many ups and downs, as do we all. But to make false accusations to one girl is unjust in my opinion. I am willing to do anything I need to get my life the way it should be.”

Lohan said she wanted to “hold a press conference” and “will do anything necessary to do so.” She said she is at “such a young and tender age in a woman’s life. It’s enough already, I’ve had enough and I am going to be the one to make a change.”

Lohan’s representative, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, had no comment.

Perez thinks the “LR” refers to Lindsay Ratowski, LiLo’s former assistant. They did not part on good terms. I believe Ratowski is now Jessica Biel’s assistant, and Lohan threw some sort of fit a couple of weeks ago when she ran into Ratowski with Biel at a party (that may be the GQ item in question).

Poor Leslie Sloane Zelnick. I’m sure it really sucks to get out of bed on days like this.

Update: Defamer has the full text of the email.