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Lindsay Lohan

8Leggings Lohan Hits the Town

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While Britney was very busy losing all custody of her children, Leggings Lohan — and her water bottle — was busy shopping at Dior.

Remember when Lindsay was the biggest trainwreck in town? And the only child involved in her antics was, well, herself? Ah, those were the days.

Image via WENN

January 14, 2008 at 8:25 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Lindsay Lohan

7The Leggings Are Back!

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Phew!

That was weird for a minute.

But Leggings Lohan is back in full force, engaging in her regular Friday night routine of hitting up a hair salon and then going shopping.

I hit up the Roxy last night with some friends to see a few bands, and totally fell in love with this band called Kingsley. The keyboardist was my fave — he’s Rush Limbaugh’s nephew, which drops him a few points in my book, but still, he was rocking out like crazy. Their sound was awesome. Ya’ll should check ‘em out.

Then we went next door to the Rainbow Room, where everyone got shitfaced and had an in-depth conversation about where the word “barf” comes from. Luke’s theory: Some drunk dude got home from the bar, slurred out, “I just got home from the barrrrrf” and then puked everywhere. Christy’s theory: It comes from “barfly.” The dictionary’s theory? “Probably onomatopoeic.”

January 12, 2008 at 2:01 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Lindsay Lohan

6Yes I Know There Are Rumors That Adrian Grenier Is Porking Lindsay Lohan

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I’m not really in an emotional place to discuss this right now. It’s very crushing.

If you need to know about it, you can read about it here.

It’s just rumors, people!!!

Until I actually see a goddamn sex tape, I’m not going to believe this bullshit. My Adrian would never do that to me. I’ve outlined very clearly in my twice-daily letters to him that he needs to be saving himself for me if this marriage is going to work.

January 10, 2008 at 9:25 pm by Evil Beet

8Where Are Your Leggings, Lindsay?

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Leggings Lohan betrays her name, as she shops at Marc Jacobs sans leggings.

Listen, Lindsay, don’t fuck this up. “Leggings Lohan” is the kindest nickname I’ll ever give you.

January 9, 2008 at 3:51 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Lindsay Lohan

8Back Home!

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Leggings Lohan hit up Bristol Farms in LA to do some non-clothing shopping.

Is that Courtenay Semel with her?

Methinks it is.

January 7, 2008 at 3:56 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Lindsay Lohan

22Selling Out Lindsay Lohan: The Fastest-Growing Career on the Planet!

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Lindsay Lohan has to realize at some point that every time a penis goes into her vagina, it comes out a million dollars richer. Once your penis is in Lindsay Lohan, it’s like a golden penis. It is a penis worth its weight in gold. That penis orgasms gold dust. That is a gilded urethra. Lindsay Lohan’s vagital cavity is essentially a gold mine. I could go on. I have more.

But I’ll leave some for the other bloggers.

Just weeks after Riley Giles sold his story to News of the World, some dude Linds banged in Italy is selling her out, too.

“Lindsay was very, very good and surprisingly experienced. She wanted to do everything, every position. She was extremely flexible and adventurous … I was hurt and sad when I found out about the other guys. I think that’s the way things are with Lindsay. But she was very sweet and loving in bed. It was a good sex match.”

After meeting on a “hydrofoil” (What the hell is a hydrofoil? It sounds like something my hairdresser says I should try.), he says “I couldn’t believe it when she asked if I could come to the dinner afterwards. I was proud to accompany her—then she invited me to a couple of clubs with her two friends. Despite her recent troubles she was downing alcohol—vodka cranberry and vodka soda. All of a sudden, she pressed up close, looked me in the eyes and asked if she could kiss me. It was a strange role-reversal and it took me aback. But I came to my senses and kissed her. We did nothing but kiss in the club after that. She didn’t care who was watching. I never imagined in my wildest dreams we would end up in bed. We spent a long time talking, lying side by side on top of her bed. She told me about her problems with drugs and alcohol. She said she was trying to get over them and that she’d spent time in a rehab clinic but didn’t want to talk too much about that. She kept telling me she liked me because I was “a good boy”—I don’t smoke or take drugs. She said she was falling for me, she liked me. I liked her too. The thing that struck me most about her was her intelligence—I found her very lucid and bright … She adored kissing and never wanted to stop—no matter what we were doing. We had safe sex, and afterwards she cuddled up to me and we went to sleep.”

At least she’s having safe sex! Now if only Lindsay could learn to keep NDAs on her bedstand with the condoms.

January 5, 2008 at 11:27 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Lindsay Lohan