This is a pretty funny video.
I was sitting at dinner with friends on Tuesday night, after a day of Lohan insanity, and we were talking about where this story was headed. “Well, there’s a 911 tape out there somewhere,” I told them, “and it’s only a matter of time before it’s on the Internet.”
And here it is.
Click here to listen. The tape is of the mother of Lohan’s assistant, Tarin Graham, telling police that a white GMC is following her.
Is it just me, you guys, or are 911 operators always dicks? The caller here is trying to give the guy the information, but the guy keeps cutting her off, like, “Ma’am, I need you to answer my questions.” But how the fuck is she supposed to answer his questions when he keeps cutting her off to yell at her for not answering the questions? I always seem to have this problem with emergency services — the people responsible for helping you out are so busy being important and demanding that they’re no help at all, and often it feels like they worsen the situation. Maybe they’re just trying to keep the situation calm by being forceful, but it seems like having the 911 guy yell at her is just making this woman more hysterical.
A Lohan family friend, Gina Glockman, recently gave this account of events to Entertainment Tonight:
Lindsay was having a get-together at her home. Several people say she wasn’t drinking, that she didn’t even have a drink, but at a certain point in the night, apparently, she fell off the wagon and did start drinking.
When assistant TARIN GRAHAM walked into the house and looked disheveled with teary red eyes, Lindsay was concerned that something happened to her.
There was some sort of altercation. Tarin either quit or Lindsay fired her. Tarin left and Lindsay followed her.
There were definitely two people in the car with Lindsay that night.
Tarin’s mother apparently made a police call because she was afraid someone was chasing her.
Right now, we don’t know who may have been chasing her. It could have been paparazzi.
When the cops arrived, there were so many people in the parking lot that they automatically zoomed in on Lindsay. Apparently the altercation took place at about 1:30 a.m.
Lindsay was strong-armed into taking a breathalyzer test. They say the cocaine was not Lindsay’s; she was wearing someone else’s pants.
Dina got a call from Lindsay at about 5 a.m. and she was talking so fast Dina couldn’t even understand what she was saying … she was just like, ‘Mommy, mommy, mommy,’ and very upset in the conversation.
For the past two years, Dina’s been trying to get Lindsay to leave L.A. and come to N.Y. so she can be with all of her children.
Obviously she’s been going through a tough time and it would be best for her to come to N.Y., to be with her family right now, take some time off, get into a rehab center and bascially give herself a chance to be healthy right now.
They say her life is at risk. Lindsay suffers an addiction. It’s not about Lindsay’s career right now. It’s about saving her life.
Dina and Lindsay have been talking every hour. They’re texting constantly, they’re on the phone.
Not only does Dina have to deal with Lindsay’s crisis right now, but she also has to appear in court this Friday and Monday because she’s in a custody battle for all four of her children.
Lindsay could be traveling from L.A. to N.Y. right now to possibly be admitted into rehab.
On a programming note, I’m at home visiting my family right now, so posting may be slower than usual. And, with any luck, we’ll get some very special posts from my mom and sister before the week is over, which should be funny because neither of them knows or cares about celebrities. My sister the oceanographer wants to know if she can blog about phytoplankton. I told her that as long as it ties into Lindsay Lohan, she sure can. So we’ll see how that goes.
For those of you who were wondering what the hell good was that alcohol-detecting ankle strap Lindsay was wearing prior to her DUI — it looks like it worked, but it needs to come with GPS.
The device did sound — two hours before Lindsay’s arrest — and her lawyer, Blair Berk, was notified. Berk, like the rest of us, knows what happens when alcohol enters Lindsay’s system, so she was desperately, but unsuccessfully, trying to find the starlet in those two hours.
Unfortunately, Lindsay was in custody just two hours later. Once Lindsay consumes alcohol, it doesn’t take long for her to end up in trouble. Linds, that’s why you can’t drink, ever!
Got this tip in my inbox yestersday …
Lindsay Lohan’s assistant is named Tarin Graham,20. Her and her mother, live in Santa Monica where Lindsay hideout the night before she booked herself for her first dui incident. Tarin’s boyfriend is also a known cocaine and marijuana dealer. Tarin’s mother owns a new black escalade, the one lindsay was chasing them in.
Leave my email annonymous
I ignored it until Lindsay sent the following statement to Billy Bush at Access Hollywood:
“Yes. I am innocent… did not do drugs they’re not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin’s mom. I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy.”
So make of it what you will.
I think Rob was originally scheduled to do the show to promote his film, We Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. But when Lindsay Lohan ditched her spot on the show in exchange for a jail cell, everyone decided it would be much better for ratings if he showed up dressed in drag and pretended to be Lindsay. The end result was pretty funny.
I stuck Jay’s opening monologue (the part that deals with Lindsay) at the end of the clip, for anyone interested.
Because now it can be yours, for the low, low price of $500,000. Yup, that’s right, half a million dollars. It’s available on eBay!
I can’t imagine this thing is actually worth half a mil, but the seller says he’s willing to discuss any reasonable offer.
What would you do with this domain name if you owned it?