Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan is Probably Not Getting Laid in Rehab


I don’t know how I missed this, but I guess some kid who just got out of Lindsay’s rehab in Utah was supposedly banging her in there. But he denies it.

“That is against the rules,” he says. “She is my friend.”

Lindsay — whose reps say she will stay in the rehab for “the foreseeable future” — is “very focused on recovery right now,” he says.

Get healthy Lindsay!!!

Michael and Lindsay Lohan: Together at Last


And it seems like, now that Michael Lohan actually got to see the daughter he’s been fighting to see for so long, he might actually shut up for a little while.

It was a sad day for the manufacturers of Grey Goose, as the alcoholic father-daughter combo had an emotional reunion in the parking lot of Lindsay’s rehab. “The moment Lindsay saw Michael, she started running and jumped into her father’s arms,” says an eyewitness. “Her father hugged her and swung her around. Lindsay was so happy. It was very emotional.”

The two haven’t seen each other in nearly three years. Daddy spent two years in prison, and has fought to see his daughter ever since his release.

When asked for comment, Michael, who normally can’t shut the fuck up, said: “I can’t comment on my relationship with my daughter. But [the reunion] was amazing.”

Jesus Christ, maybe these people are finally approaching normalcy.

That would be bad for business.

Hopefully they’ll change their minds about sobriety and hit the Park City bar scene together! Now that’s father-daughter bonding!

Nah, I can’t even say that jokingly. I’m rooting for these two. I hope Lindsay gets healthy and gets whatever serenity she’s been searching for throughout these years, and hopefully a relationship with a sober father will help.

Apparently Even Extended Members of the Lohan Family Send Emails to Page Six

What is it with these people? Can we just put them all on Jerry Springer and be done with it? (Are they even still filming Jerry Springer? God I hope so.)

The latest in a long line of Lohans to air their dirty laundry to the media is Dina Lohan’s boyfriend, Jim McMillan, who penned a scathing missive that ended up in the hands of Page Six. McMillan was responding to the allegations Michael Lohan made about Dina, accusing her of being a drug and alcohol abuser, and about Jim, claiming he was not safe to have around the children.

“First and foremost, I am a gentleman. I have never been inebriated in front of [the children] or said anything about a man I know nothing about. I did decide to learn about Michael Lohan and did a quick background check. The following is public record, fact and irrefutable: On 10/13/84, you struck, choked and kicked Susan L. Hubbard of Ohio, causing fractured facial bones.

In [New York], there are 10 arrest records found for securities fraud, DWI, assault, grand larceny . . . Dina has never been arrested or charged with anything.

Upon getting out of jail, you hire a publicist and start a smear campaign against your children’s mom. You take a photo of her holding a water bottle at your daughter’s premiere, and you call her a party mom. You . . . accuse her of being an alcoholic, a drug user, an unfit mom and a philanderer.

You do it in a very public way and force them to deal with the fallout. If you want to assassinate someone’s character, leave Dina alone. She is way out of your league. She is a classy, intelligent, loving mom . . .”

You people are the very definition of class. I can’t understand at all why Lindsay is the way she is.

Michael Lohan to Visit Lindsay in Rehab

It looks like Lindsay Lohan’s father will finally get his wish — he gets to see his daughter. In rehab, of course, but at least he’s getting to see her. According to Page Six:

Lindsay Lohan and her mother, Dina, have decided to allow Michael Lohan to visit his eldest daughter at her Utah rehab. “It was actually her older brother, Michael’s, idea. It’s a part of the healing process,” a friend said. “Lindsay will see him later this week, but she will have counselors with her. It will not be alone.” Michael – whose divorce from Dina is likely to be finalized soon, now that they’ve resolved most issues between them, including custody – hasn’t seen Lindsay in years due to his abusive temper and violent behavior. In order for him to be allowed to visit, Dina – who has a restraining order out against Michael – had to get it lifted. “Dina thinks it is a good idea,” the friend said. “Lindsay needs to deal with this and needs closure.” Michael has said he’s been sober and found God since leaving jail earlier this summer. A rep for the Lohans said, “Yes, he will be seeing his daughter.”

As crazy as Michael Lohan is, you have to admit he’s cleaned up his act a lot since his pre-jail days. We haven’t heard stories of him getting in bar fights or assaulting family members in recent days, which is more than I can say for Lindsay. Who knows, maybe he’ll actually be a positive influence on Lindsay. Lord knows she needs all the help she can get.

No One with the Last Name of Lohan Should Travel in a Car

Lindsay Lohan and Younger Sister Ali, Who Was Recently in a Car Accident in Long Island

Seriously, can we just start shipping these people where they need to go in freight trains?

It would be safer!

The latest Lohan to be involved in a traffic accident is lil’ sis Ali, age 13, who was in a car crash on Friday night after sneaking out of the family’s Long Island house to meet her 16-year-old boyfriend, who had a learner’s permit.

Two people were slightly injured in the accident, but Ali was fine, and was able to fly out to Utah this week to visit big sis Lindsay in rehab.

How long until Ali’s there, too?

I give her a year!

A Statement from Lindsay Lohan


“It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs.

Recently, I relapsed and did things for which I am ashamed. I broke the law, and today I took responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case. No matter what I said when I was under the influence on the day I was arrested, I am not blaming anyone else for my conduct other than myself. I thank God I did not injure others. I easily could have.

I very much want to be healthy and gain control of my life and career and have asked for medical help in doing so. I am taking these steps to improve my life. Luckily, I am not alone in my daily struggle and I know that people like me have succeeded. Maybe with time it will become easier. I hope so.”

Awww …

I’m amazed by how easily Lindsay got off here, especially when you consider the super-stern sentence Paris Hilton had to deal with in an equally high-profile case. Both had lots of money and excellent attorneys. Lohan’s crimes were more serious than Hilton’s. So how’d Lindsay get off so easy?

Of course, it has something to do with the judge. The judge in Hilton’s case was out for blood. But I think it also has a lot to do with public perception. People hate Paris, but they’re rooting for Lindsay. She’s obviously in a struggle with an awful disease, and I think the public feels like she’s more accessible and more vulnerable than Paris. We care about Lindsay like she was a friend, a daughter or a sister. I don’t think anyone really wanted to see her do a lot of time in jail, whereas we were all rooting like crazy to see Paris do some hard time. The attitude toward Lindsay during this time has been almost tangibly different from when Paris was in a similar sitch.