Lindsay Lohan‘s family is getting a little crazier. Lohan’s half-sister, Ashley Horn (they share Michael Lohan as their dad), got plastic surgery to look just like Lindsay, “in her good days, when she was around 18, 19 years old” she told inTouch. Yeah,I’m not seeing the resemblance. The magazine posted a side-by-side comparison (above) but used a photo of Lindsay from last year, not when she was 18/19. I’m hoping they’re being snarky and making some kind of statement about how much plastic surgery Lohan’s gotten, but I’m probably over-thinking it.
Ms. Horn’s surgeries cost around $25,000. Who the f-ck is paying for this shit? Michael Lohan owes so much child support that he can’t pay. Here’s what Horn got for her money:
I’ve gotten rhinoplasty, a bit of refinement underneath my cheeks and jawline, some fat injected into my chin and some fat injected into my upper cheeks. [...] I’m hotter than Lindsay! I have no problem saying that.
Oh, okay. Got anything else to say about your half sib?
I’m not Lindsay. I wasn’t raised in that family. I don’t drink, do drugs or party. I like being a responsible person.
She’s 18. There’s still time.
Here’s Ashley before:
Girl, you downgraded. Sorry.
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Lindsay Lohan already has a new boyfriend, it seems, and it’s a 30-year-old football player (well, former player). Her taste is really all over the place, isn’t it? I guess she doesn’t have a type. The dude is Matt Nordgren and he was briefly a quarterback for the University of Texas, then played for one season for the Philadelphia Eagles, then starred on Bravo’s Most Eligible Dallas. Ahhh, now I see the connection. Lohan’s totally not gonna date outside of the entertainment industry and she probably knows of him from the reality show. Here’s some details from US Weekly, from sources “close to the starlet.” We’re still gonna call Lindsay a “starlet”, Us? Okay then.
He’s a great influence on her, and her friends and family love him. He’s older, a successful businessman, and he has been a great friend to her. He’s also a Christian and won’t drink around her. He’s trying to keep her sober and on the straight and narrow. He’s really good for her.
He’s older by 3 years, they’re making it sound like he’s some Dumbledore shit. BUT it is really great that he won’t drink around her and wants to help her keep sober. That is someone Lindsay needs.
Apparently they met 7 years ago and have only recently turned their friendship into a romance. Guess this means Max George is gone.
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Elton John wrote a song about Lindsay Lohan, and thankfully it wasn’t yet another reworked version of Candle In The Wind (Lohan wishes!). The song is “The Diving Board” and was inspired by Lohan’s ~~turbulent~~ life.
It could be a summation of my career because it’s about young people becoming successful and diving off into the unknown. What’s going to happen? Are they going to survive it? Are they going to become victims of their own success? Are other people going to prey on them and destroy them?
You could actually say it’s about me, but I was thinking about Lindsay Lohan when I was writing it.
I hate to think of Lindsay because she has a talent, she was a great actress, and then it became all about the madness, the parties and everyone forgets about what put them there in the first place – they get lost in the idea that they are famous for who they are, not what they are.
Oh yes, let’s all cry a river for Lindsay Lohan. He’s making it sound like someone did something to her. Everything she did, she did it to herself. Please tell me Bernie Taupin wasn’t involved in this mess.
I wonder if he’ll do a song about Chris Brown, since they’re such BFFs.
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Lindsay Lohan went to support her sister Ali who was modeling in Wendy Nichol’s “Saints of the Zodiac” fall fashion show. That was nice. However, she showed up in some sort of Stevie Nicks Xanadu nightmare. Not as nice. Dude behind her definitely approves though.
The headband is so very Mischa! And here’s what Ali wore in the show:
Hey, as long as Ali’s not doing this anymore, I support her career. As for Lohan, I guess she dressed in the theme? Except you’re not one of the models, dude. I don’t know, am I being too harsh? What do you think of Lindsay’s look?
What a week it’s been. We came off of She Who Must Not Be Named and all other kinds of hot mess outfits at the VMAs and ended with Daniel Radcliffe doing this (above). A lot going on. Here are the best, worst, and WTF celebrity looks of the week — end of August.
Click to find out my best, worst, and WTF picks!
Lindsay “300 Strikes And You’re Out” Lohan has been doing pretty well since she got out of rehab for the millionth time. She got paid $2 million for an interview with Oprah (that no one watched) as well as a “docuseries.” She hosted an episode of Chelsea Lately and shot a guest appearance on the TV show Eastbound & Down. She got good reviews — the only good reviews — for the crapfest known as The Canyons. There’s even rumors that she’ll host the season premiere of Saturday Night Live.
So I guess since everything’s coming up Lohan, Lohan’s striking while the iron is hot by trying to get Meryl Streep‘s attention. Lohan and Ms. Streep actually starred in a film together way back in 2006, A Prairie Home Companion. That’s 7 years ago in normal people time, fourteen in Lohan years. Yesterday Lohan posted their 2006 photoshoot for Entertainment Weekly on her Instagram with #tbt. TBT stands for “throwback Thursday.” The context makes sense but still, girl. Kinda desperate.
My favorite comment is “lol wut”.
Lindsay Lohan sat down with Oprah and told her she checked into rehab for the very first time because she used Ambien and it scared her (to which Oprah gave the most skeptical look ever and tried get more of an explanation and gave up) and also that she did cocaine “Ten to fifteen times” to which everyone torrenting this mess laughed mightily. I guess a lot of people at this point are fed up with Lohan, because the interview was one of Oprah’s lowest rated interviews, ever. Some stats from The Hollywood Reporter via The Superficial:
The one-hour OWN broadcast averaged 892,000 viewers to the 9 p.m. premiere telecast. The 10 p.m. encore averaged 504,000 viewers.
Now let’s compare that to
Winfrey’s Oprah’s Next Chapter sit-down with Whitney Houston’s family in March 2012 is still OWN’s most-watched effort for the network, drawing 3.5 million viewers. The first part of disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong’s January interview with Winfrey is close behind with a strong 3.2 million. Third is Rihanna’s interview with the talk show maven in August 2012, which averaged 2.5 million.
Let’s hope the “docu-series” they’re doing together gets better ratings. Or not, screw them.