Lindsay Lohan is really not having a very good month everything. And now we can add this mix of awkward and OMG and LOL to her pile of woes. Though I think it’s time to leave Lohan alone in the sense of, let’s not criticize her hair while she’s in rehab, I don’t disagree with the statement on this shirt, worn by Jonathan Bennett who played Aaron Samuels in Mean Girls. He was the one who was Regina George’s ex and then Lohan’s character liked him so all kinds of wacky hijinks ensued.

Anyway Mr. “Doesn’t Aaron Look Sexy With His Hair Pushed Back?” found this tee in a store in LA, took a pic, and posted it on Facebook. Then my guess is his publicist freaked out or Lohan fans got real mad, so he told Yahoo (via Zimbio),

I tried on the T-shirt ironically to point out the ridiculousness of the public and media obsession with her. I actually am really happy she’s in rehab and seems to be doing well. She was one of the most talented young actresses I have ever worked with. I just want her to get better. It makes me sad to think about that spark and that brightness that is inside her that’s been covered by her addictions. … I’m here for her. She’ll be back and she’s gonna be big. Just you watch.

LOL NICE SAVE NOT BUYING IT.

Lindsay Lohan is “safely ensconced” in rehab at long last. She’s been annoying the hell out of all of us with her rehab hopping but now that she’s in one, it may be time to leave her alone. She’s now getting criticized for how she handles withdrawal in a rehab center. From Radaronline:

The actress looks extremely haggard, her face is bloated, and it doesn’t look like she has brushed her hair in days. She looks very disheveled and has absolutely no energy since docs took away the Adderall.

I mean, come ON, she’s in rehab, she doesn’t have to look red carpet ready. And even if Lohan was abusing Adderall, withdrawal still sucks. For the record, she claims she legitimately needed it, telling Piers Morgan,

I have severe ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). I can’t stand still. So I take Adderall (a prescription drug) for that, it calms me. I know people who take it to stay up, or girls who take it to supposedly stay slim because it kills your appetite. But I eat all the time. I just take it to stay calm. It works well for me.

I don’t know. I guess i’m just starting to feel like it’s time to let her be, at least until she tries to escape again.

Lindsay Lohan treats rehab centers like they’re bars in West Hollywood; hang out at some, skip over some, linger when it’s okay and leave when they yell at you for smoking.

Lohan’s really been pressing her luck in rehab switching. She’s finally at a place that a judge approved of, even though it wasn’t in her original plea bargain. But, as always, Lohan is ready to run. Her excuse this time is that The Betty Ford Center wants to take away her Adderall.

From TMZ:

Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ … doctors at the rehab center evaluated Lindsay this week and decided she does NOT need her Addy pills, despite Lindsay’s claims she suffers from ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).?

We’re told Betty Ford’s doctors almost NEVER give anyone over the age of 15 the powerful drug, because the docs believe there are plenty of substitute meds for ADHD that do the trick without the addictive qualities inherent in the drug.  And, we’re told, the doctors are well aware many people — especially Hollywood types — misuse Adderall as a weight-control drug.

Here’s the immediate problem … Lindsay is telling her friends she CANNOT stay at Betty Ford and wants to be moved to another facility that is not hard-nosed about Adderall.

And this sets up yet another crisis, because it seems inconceivable Judge Jim Dabney and prosecutors would ignore the Betty Ford doctors and trump their diagnosis by letting Lindsay make a move.

Bitch just sit down with Brooke Mueller and get over it. If you actually needed Adderall there’s no way in hell they would take it from you. Not worth the liability. I’m guessing that your train of glory and luck has hit its last station, and you’re upset and ever-so-uncomfortable at rehab. She is BEGGING to be jailed. Why won’t anyone do it??

P.S. To everyone everywhere, STOP ABUSING ADDERALL. If you don’t need it, don’t use it. You make it harder for everyone else. THE END.

Charlie Sheen really knows how to bring people together. His ex wife, Brooke Mueller, was recently admitted to The Betty Ford Center. That happens to be where Lindsay Lohan is staying for her mandatory rehabbing. Coincidence?

Apparently Lohan’s already run into Mueller, and no, it wasn’t with her car. Good job, Lohan! You’re getting better already.

From TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan could be getting support from someone who has done cocaine waaaay more than 4 or 5 times … ’cause Brooke Mueller’s in the house!

Sources familiar with cocaine tell TMZ … Brooke and Lindsay are currently staying in the hospital wing at The Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage.  In fact we’re told they’ve already run into each other and exchanged pleasantries … not drugs.

Mueller and Sheen’s children were removed from her home last week due to suspected (and now confirmed) drug abuse, which explains why Mueller is in rehab currently.

I think the most amazing thing about all of this is that Charlie Sheen isn’t in there with him. How is Charlie Sheen not in jail or in rehab right now? How does he get through everything unscathed? And not just unscathed, but celebrated?

Lindsay Lohan may be “safely ensconced” at the Betty Ford Center in LA to serve out her mandatory rehab sentence, but that hasn’t stopped her from trying every trick in the book to get out of there. However, turns out that’s not going to happen, as a judge has decreed that she’s not allowed to leave the grounds. Yeah, okay, let’s see how long that lows.

From People:

Lohan, who’s serving a 90-day sentence at the Rancho Mirage, Calif., facility for violating probation, will be confined to the sprawling desert grounds, according to a letter addressed to Lohan’s attorney Shawn Holley and filed with the L.A. Superior Court.

“It is understood by the Betty Ford Center that your client is to remain on the premises for the duration of her 90-day stay in treatment,” the document reads.

But the facility is a far cry from a lock-down penitentiary.

“We can’t hold a patient against their will, we can’t stop a patient from running away. We’re not a jail,” an intake counselor previously explained to PEOPLE. “But we closely monitor patients via security and technicians 24 hours a day.”

Patients are forbidden from having a cell phone, can only make brief calls or use the Internet on weekends, and are drug tested randomly.

The letter adds that Lohan will be treated by a battery of experts, including a physician, nurse, psychologist, case manager, spiritual care counselor, family counselor, dietician, fitness trainer and a chemical dependency technician in a strict hour-by-hour schedule, usually starting at 6 a.m. and ending at 9 p.m.

“There is physical exercise and group therapy everyday,” the counselor explained. “This is not a vacation.”

LOL! Yeah, okay, good luck on enforcing that. Can’t wait to see how she goes waltzing on out of there within the next week on some ludicrous grounds and then, you know, has no repercussions for her actions. Why do we even bother anymore? If you have to clarify to a repeat criminal that a mandatory rehab sentence is “not a vacation”, we have a problem.

Lindsay Lohan stressed everyone out by bouncing around rehab facilities hours before getting slapped with an arrest warrant before landing in the Betty Ford Center. She’s been there since Thursday and she’d like to go now. This is how I picture her:

Radar has an exclusive.

This is Lohan’s second stay [at Betty Ford] — her sixth in rehab overall — but apparently she isn’t very happy with her situation.

“Lindsay is already begging to switch out of Betty Ford,” a source close to the troubled actress tells RadarOnline.com.

“She has been complaining to everyone that will listen that she doesn’t want to be there and that it isn’t the best place for her.”

LiLo was originally slated to attend Seafield in New York, and then pulled a switcheroo and spent only two minutes in the Morningside Recovery center in Newport Beach before firing her lawyer Mark Heller and re-hiring Shawn Holley, who brokered the deal for her to go the Betty Ford.

“Lindsay says she wants to go to either a treatment center in Hawaii, Crossroad Centre in Antigua, or even Lukens Institute in Florida.”

It’s not supposed to be a goddamn vacation, Lohan. You need to get help for the “5 times” you’ve done cocaine in your life. Perhaps she wants to leave because the Betty Ford Center may take away her Adderall? TMZ has ~~the scoop~~.

Sources connected with the rehab queen tell TMZ … Betty Ford is allowing her to take the powerful drug, Adderall. The reason — she has an Rx and says she’s been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

Lindsay has made it clear over the last month — she would only go to rehab if she’s allowed to take the med.  BUT … sources tell us doctors at Betty Ford are currently evaluating Lindsay’s diagnosis and the efficacy of the drug.  If doctors disbelieve her diagnosis or the usefulness of Adderall, they will cut her off.

If they think it’s necessary to cut her off, it’s for a good reason. And she’ll whine and stomp her feet and try to get transferred to a center that will cave give in to her. Like how she couldn’t smoke cigarettes at the first rehab place, so she demanded a transfer, using the bullshit excuse that she didn’t feel safe because of paparazzi. Am I too harsh? I don’t care. I don’t think there is anyone left who feels sorry for her. If you do, please tell me why.

Lindsay Lohan is a top notch comedian – she laughs in the face of the American justice system, makes a mockery of the laws that everyone else has to follow, and has now told the best joke ever told in human history: that she’s only ever done cocaine five times. HAHAHAHA!

From an interview with Piers Morgan for The Mail on Sunday:

So you were a clean-living teenager?

Yes. My friends and I would actually pretend to be drunk. And it was more fun. I never rebelled against my parents – I worked hard, I was responsible and I didn’t go to high-school parties.

When did you start going off the rails?

I think when I made the move to LA  in my late teens. I got arrested for my first DUI (Driving Under the Influence) when I was 20 and they found me with drugs (her Mercedes struck a kerb outside a club on May 26, 2007, and she was charged after police found cocaine in the car). And from then on the press were on me all the time. It was the first time I’d taken drugs; I was out in a club with people I shouldn’t have been with, and took cocaine, and got in the car. It was so stupid.

How many times have you taken cocaine?

Everyone thinks I’ve done it so many times. But I’ve only done it maybe four or five times in my life.

Really?

Yes, I don’t like it. It reminds me of my dad. I took it four times in a period from about the age of 20 to 23, and I got caught twice.

Did it make you feel good?

No. I felt a little too buzzed – it made me feel uncomfortable.

People will find it hard to believe you’ve only taken it four times.

It’s the truth. I’ve never taken heroin either, never injected myself with anything, never done LSD. Those things all scare me.

What other drugs have you tried?

Pot, obviously. And ecstasy. I liked  that better than the others (giggles). I didn’t drink on it, so I was just chilling. It’s something that a lot of people experience when they’re in college. I just should have known that being in the public eye, someone was bound to say something or try to make some money off it.

Oh, well I guess we’re leaving meth off the list, then? People don’t really get ordered to rehab for smoking too much pot. Sure, she’s probably addicted to prescription drugs of some sort, as well, but come on. The day I believe that Lindsay Lohan has only done cocaine four or five times is the day I believe Justin Bieber wasn’t sent to this planet to test the strength of my sanity.

Someone crank up the goddamn Benny Hill theme, because Lohan is on the run. After being f-cking annoying as hell and delaying rehab to go to a music festival and then taking off for a different unapproved rehab center, and then making a stop at Fry’s Electronic’s (da f-ck did she need there, new Beats By Dre headphones to DJ with for the sharing circle??) she finally arrived at said rehab center only to stay there for less than 5 minutes. Everything she has done so far can lead to her arrest. Bitch doesn’t care. Radar Online has an exclusive:

The troubled starlet left rehab barely two minutes after walking through the doors, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

Lindsay first shopped at an electronics store and then fled rehab after she was “spooked by the paparazzi,” when she went into the facility, according to the New York Daily News which first reported that Lindsay took off.

A source told Radar that Lindsay walked into Morningside Recovery in Orange County, California on Thursday and walked right out!

“She told people there that she didn’t need rehab,” a source familiar with the situation told Radar.

“And then she left. Everyone was stunned.”

That isn’t how the law works, Lohan. You don’t get to decide what you think you need and don’t need. Although, I can’t blame her, it’s worked for her thus far. And you also don’t get to blame the paparazzi for everything. It’s like she’s sticking her tongue out and begging for arrest, figuring it will never happen. Then we have Michael Lohan swooping in, thinking he’s Mighty Mouse coming to save the day:

I have no other choice than to get this out there to help Lindsay.

Note: not to get “MYSELF” out there, but “this” out there, meaning confirming to Radar that she fled rehab. So instead of actually going to see his daughter, he just wants the Internet to know that she effed up. Kind of like how Jenny McCarthy wanted to help Amanda Bynes by tweeting that she needed help. Here are the possible consequences:

Now Lindsay’s disappearing act may be a violation of her recent plea deal. The New York Daily News reported that she was headed to the airport for a flight to New York.

Santa Monica City Attorney Terry White was not happy with the new Lohan drama. “If there’s credible confirmation she’s heading back to New York, then I’m going to have to go in and ask the court to issue a warrant,” he said, according to the New York Daily News.

And Michael Lohantold Radar that if Lindsay is indeed headed to New York she’s in big trouble. “If that’s the case I have been told that she will be arrested in New York and her bail will be set at $100,000.”

Lohan probably figures that Charlie Sheen will again help her out if this happens. Why would she go back to NYC? She just got on a private jet last night to go to California, because the NYC rehab center doesn’t allow cigarette smoking. What is she doing?

Here are pix TMZ posted of Lohan wandering around Fry’s. Honestly, this looks like it could be anyone, but I’ll trust TMZ.

UPDATE from TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan is safely ensconced at the Betty Ford Center rehab facility in Rancho Mirage, CA … TMZ has learned.

Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ … Lindsay checked in late Thursday night … barely dodging a looming arrest warrant.

We broke the story … Lindsay has re-hired Shawn Holley, who then negotiated with Santa Monica City Attorney Terry White to make the deal that Betty Ford was an acceptable rehab joint.

It’s ironic Lindsay is at Betty Ford — you’ll recall back in 2010 Lindsay got into an epic fight during her rehab stay with a staffer.  The police were called and civil lawsuits were filed.  It’s amazing Betty Ford took her back.

We’re told prosecutors will back off their promise to seek an arrest warrant today … although they still have to get the judge to sign off on Betty Ford, but it looks like that will just be a formality.

Lindsay Lohan bullshit is driving me crazy, I can’t even I CAN’T. Do you know what she did? Well, the answer is always “whatever the hell she wanted” and this time it’s no different. Except this time, she could actually go to jail. We say that a lot. Will it be different this time? Could be and here’s why. Despite her lackluster efforts, Lohan is due in rehab in NYC tomorrow and is seriously violating her plea deal by instead taking off for a rehab facility in California that was not approved. And why is she doing this? Because the facility in NYC doesn’t allow cigarette smoking.

If TMZ is to be believed, here’s the rest of the story.

Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ … Lindsay is about to board a private jet in NYC.

TMZ broke the story … Lindsay’s lawyer and prosecutors agreed she would enter the Seafield Center rehab facility in Westhampton Beach, New York.  She’s required to show up by tomorrow morning.

But as we reported earlier, Lindsay was freaked out because Seafield won’t allow her to smoke.  We’re told she may be headed for Morningside Recovery in Newport Beach, CA … which does allow smoking.

Problem is …. prosecutors did NOT sign off on Morningside.  What’s more … we’ve learned NO ONE from Lindsay’s camp has contacted either the L.A. City Attorney or the Santa Monica City Attorney to get the change of plans approved.

In short … by not entering Seafield … Lindsay has violated her plea deal.  Lindsay’s lawyers are in court tomorrow along with prosecutors, where her attorneys are required to show proof of enrollment in Seafield.  It’s a good bet the judge is going to be pissed, and a better bet prosecutors will be pissed.

If the judge believes Lindsay has violated the deal, he can throw her in jail for 90 days.

Can’t believe I’m agreeing with Team Tara but since Lohan is so adept at getting away with ridiculous bullshit, she probably won’t be jailed or have to deal with any sort of fallout. Which is effing ridiculous. Earlier she posted this stupid photo on her Instagram account (which she then deleted) with the caption, “90 days and 270 looks”:

Oh hey, also, WHO KEEPS LETTING HER USE THEIR PRIVATE PLANES? Pink Energy Drink bailed her out the last time she had a last minute flying across the country deadline. Who’s helping her out this time? STOP LETTING HER ESCAPE. KEEP HER CONTAINED AND QUARANTINED. LIKE A VIRUS.

Tara Reid AKA Team Tara is not friends with Lindsay Lohan, telling TMZ, “We don’t really like each other that much.” And when I say, “telling TMZ” I mean that she was in the TMZ studio hanging out among all of them, talking like she worked there. They were discussing Lohan’s latest driving problems — this time, Lindsay had her car towed for parking in the wrong place — and Ms. Reid got into Lohan a little bit. Here’s what she said:

If I get drunk, I’m a happy drunk, you know? When she gets drunk, she’s just mean. She’s so paranoid, she takes her drink anytime someone thinks she has a camera phone on, and drops it in the ice bucket … I think this girl gets chance, after chance, after chance, after chance. I just feel like … she keeps getting to move onto different stories and my stories that are bad about me keep getting stuck with me.

I agree and disagree with Team Tara. I agree that Lohan gets way too many chances. Lohan should be in jail right now. But I disagree in the suggestion that Lohan has a completely clean slate. She’s not known anymore for acting or talent — she’s known for being a mess who can’t get work. So in that sense, Lohan’s stories (bad publicity) are stuck with her just as much as Team Reid’s. However, Lohan is still invited on huge platforms like The Today Show and Late Night With David Letterman, whereas Team Reid is…in the TMZ office.

Pick one: Team Tara or Team Lohan?

Lindsay Lohan is really not into the whole punishment thing. No matter what she claims, if there’s a way for her to avoid responsibility and punishment, she’ll do it. Somehow she managed to delay her court-ordered rehab until after Coachella. No idea how the hell she managed to pull that rabbit out of her hat.

But apparently that wasn’t good enough. She wants just a little more time. Radaronline has an exclusive:

Lindsay Lohan has just four days to enroll in her court-ordered rehab but RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned that she may be trying to figure out a way to manipulate the system and not start her rehab on time.

“The judge told Lindsay that she had to be enrolled in the rehab by May 2, but it’s possible that her defense attorney might try and say that she is ‘enrolled’ with her actual check-in date later than that day,” a source close to the situation said.

“She could say that she is scheduled to go to rehab at a future date and has everything arranged with a rehab place, but she might not physically be there on May 2.”

The court agreed to allow Lindsay to enroll in a treatment center in New York, but a source close to her told RadarOnline.com that she’s employing even another delay tactic.

“Lindsay is now saying that she wants to go to rehab in California and she’s looking for a treatment center, and she thinks that this might help her buy some more time too,” the source said.

What in the ever-loving f-ck. JUST SEND HER TO JAIL. Why do people let her get away with everything? In addition to this mess, TMZ reported two days ago that Lohan is trying to avoid YET ANOTHER legal “mishap”.

Lindsay Lohan has allegedly blown off YET ANOTHER legal case … this one involving a nanny who claims LiLo smacked her with a Maserati.

Linds was sued last year by Nubia Del Carmen Preza, who claims LiLo ran a red light, injuring her and barely missing the baby stroller she was pushing back in 2010.

The nanny’s lawyer filed legal docs demanding that Lindsay answer certain questions about the incident, but apparently Lindsay blew it off and never responded.

As for what questions the nanny wanted answered … did you hit me, did you fail to stop, was someone else in your car — stuff like that.

A hearing is set for May 8 where a judge will decide whether to sock Lindsay with fines for ignoring the questions.

Lindsay won’t be there, of course, but she has a good excuse this time — she’ll be a few days into rehab.

LOL this is f-cking unbelievable. She’s trying to avoid rehab and yet if she goes to rehab, she can avoid dealing with another hearing. Which one do you want to do, Lohan?

Tom Brokaw is not a Lindsay Lohan fan (like he’s the only one). Though it happened a year ago, he’s still pissed that Lohan was invited to The White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Yeah, WTF? I hear ya Mr. Brokaw. Greta Van Susteren, of Fox News, invited her. Another WTF. I’m still amazed that even though Lohan can’t get a job she can get invited to events like these and also guest on a huge talkshow like Letterman. Shit is so weird.

Politico asked Mr. Brokaw about who he would like to see at the dinner, which is tomorrow, which I guess is the reason why he took this little trip down memory lane. Here’s his view on the dinner and its guests (via Entertainment Weekly):

Somewhere along the line, it began to freewheel out of control. … It became more of a tabloid kind of dinner. There was more dignity at my daughter’s junior prom than there is [in] what I’m seeing on CSPAN. … And for me, the breaking point was Lindsay Lohan. She became a big star at the White House Correspondents’ dinner… give me a break.

So who were his favorite guests?

The original cast of Saturday Night Live came down and it was a big hit… It was Chevy [Chase], John Belushi … it was appropriate. They did a lot of political stuff and it kind of raised, if you will, the profile of The White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

Yeah, Chevy Chase is definitely the way to go if you want to have a high-brow event.

Here are more photos of Lohan from the White House dinner last year. I cannot believe she wore a floor-length low-cut black halter gown.