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Lil' Kim

Lil Kim and Miley Cyrus Are “Besties”, Apparently

miley cyrus lil kim

Miley Cyrus feels like she’s Lil Kim inside to the point where she needed to dress up like her for Halloween. And while most of the world thought, you know, WTF is wrong with her? Why is this happening 15 years after the fact? Why won’t Miley accept her extreme whiteness?, Lil Kim thought it was awesome, especially since Miley is one of her besties. That leads me to ask one question: How many drugs is Lil Kim on these days?

From MTV News:

“How awesome was that! Put it this way, she did me very well. I think she looked gorgeous. I love her; she’s one of my besties,” she said. “She’s like my bestie-slash-wifey. You know what’s so funny? As soon as she tweeted the picture, she texted me and was like she was like, ‘Happy Halloween, babe!’ … I think she did me well.”

While you might end up seeing a lot of people dressing up like Miley from the 2013 VMAs, very few people are going to be able to pull off Kim’s vintage look the way Miley did. “She’s so outrageous. She’s fun. She’s gorgeous. She’s just living her life.”

Yes, Kim. We are all out here “living our lives”, you know. That’s not something that deserves praise (though sometimes it feels like it, amirite?).

Also, how often do you REALLY think these two talk? My guess is that Miley’s Happy Halloween message was the first and only text they’ve ever exchanged (if it even happened).

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How About No of the Day: Miley Cyrus Is Just Like Lil Kim Inside

miley cyrus

Miley is going through some shit right now, so I’ve tried to remain patient until she gets it out of her system. Let her twerk, pop molly, smoke weed until she can’t see straight, whatever. It’s not hurting anyone (besides the entire culture she’s appropriating, but we won’t go there), so no harm done. Except she just keeps getting more and more ridiculous and now she’s trying to claim that she’s actually like Lil Kim on the inside. Uh…………………………………… no.

From Billboard:

“In my past life, I feel like that was me. I feel like Lil Kim is who I am on the inside. She just makes me happy… I just love her and I can’t help that I love her.”

WHAT? But before we discuss this, there’s more:

“I have to put Nicki as [my fourth favorite] because I had Kim,” she said. “You can’t choose one, so if you say Kim, then you’ve got to say Nicki. And Nicki is now the Lil Kim of my generation.”

Okay, there are so many things wrong with all of this.

1. Your little white ass – who had never so much as heard a single Jay-Z song when singing about him in ‘Party In the USA’ is nothing like Lil Kim, who in 1996 at the age of 22, released one of the most AMAZING female rap albums that was also one of the most lewd, raw shit you will ever hear (and that’s a compliment). Seriously, as a 12-year-old I had no business listening to songs that had ‘I don’t want d*ck tonight/eat my p*ssy right’ as a chorus, but best believe I LOVED it. Miley was 4 when that album came out, which is not to say that you can’t like things that are before your time, but SERIOUSLY HOW IS SHE ANYTHING LIKE LIL KIM?

2. Nicki is definitely not this generation’s Lil Kim. I mean, she is insofar as the fact that she’s the most prominent female rapper in the game right now, but their careers are literally nothing alike, side from the fact that they’re both from NYC and came up through mix tapes and a larger crew (Nicki with Wayne, Kim with Junior Mafia/BIG).

I get that I’m thinking about this way too much and this is not a rap theory blog, but my brain is going to spontaneously combust if Miley keeps this shit up.

Happy Ho-lidays from Lil’ Kim!

photo of lil kim christmas card pictures
Ready, set, go: what’s the funniest thing about this Lil’ Kim holiday promo? There’s going to be a quiz at the end, so don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I’ve got a few suggestions, myself—

#1: The fact that Kim thinks we’re stupid (or blind) enough to believe that this is what her face really looks like in 2012. See, because no, girl. This is what Lil’ Kim looks like in 2012:

photo of lil kim pictures
But you know what? Here’s some information that just might help clear things up—this was the accompanying tweet from Kim regarding the picture:

On the 1st day of Xmas my Queen Bee gave to me: An exclusive never before seen picture just for U!!! Muah!!! :)

So it’s totally plausible that this photo of Kim was taken in, I don’t know, 1989, and had it retouched so it looked a little more current, yeah? Because unless doctors have figured out a way to completely reverse the damage done by plastic surgery then Lindsay Lohan should probably hear about this I think it’s probably an old photo.

Also, #2: Wait. There is no number two, because the funniest thing about this picture is that it doesn’t even look like Lil’ Kim anymore. That’s really about it.

Your Awful Plastic Surgery of the Day: Lil’ Kim

photo of lil kim after plastic surgery pictures
Even the guy in the photo is like, “God, what the f-ck am I even doing here? I could have had a V8.”

These pictures were taken of Lil’ Kim during the LA Gay Pride Festival, which happened this past weekend in West Hollywood, and girl is definitely looking worse for the wear. Can you even believe that she’s only thirty-six years old? I could just die.

In case you’d forgotten, or you’re under the age of twenty-eight, this is what Lil’ Kim used to look like:

photo of lil kim pictures photos plastic surgery pics
And she wasn’t so bad way back when, yeah? How about this one, where she actually looked like a normal person off the street?:

photo of lil kim plastic surgery pictures
Oh, I’m sorry, you thought I was serious? Come on. Kim hasn’t looked like a normal person since that one mugshot. This one:

photo of lil kim pictures
Come on now.

Check out other photos in the gallery from Kim’s performance, and other photos showcasing her very best looks. LOLZ.

People Are Still Talking About Nicki Minaj’s Grammy Performance

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Specifically, Lil’ Kim is still talking about it. That shouldn’t be surprising since Lil’ Kim holds a bit of a grudge against Nicki Minaj and Nicki isn’t too fond of Lil’ Kim either. Another reason why it shouldn’t come as a surprise is because lots of people are getting their panties in a wad over Nicki’s “The Exorcism of Roman.” But it’s always fun to talk about some ladies being snippy, and I figured this is as good a way as any to kick off the evening, so let’s go ahead and get started, all right?

Here’s what Lil’ Kim had to say about Nicki:

You can count Lil’ Kim among the people confused – to put it mildly – by Nicki Minaj’s religious-themed performance at Sunday’s Grammy Awards.

“I don’t know what that was. I’m pretty sure I feel the same way everybody else feels right about now,” Kim, 37, said Wednesday night on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live.

But then Kim got a little more blunt in her appraisal of the 29-year-old rapper. “If you have to make a song called ‘Stupid Hoe,’ you must be a stupid hoe,” Kim said after host Andy Cohen told her she got many questions from viewers about her thoughts on Minaj.

So far, Nicki hasn’t responded to these specific remarks, but she has commented on the reaction her performance received:

“I don’t know what is the big issue?” she said Wednesday at a Viva Glam MAC cosmetics event in New York, reports the Associated Press. She also said the whole skit, which included dancing priests and a levitation stunt, was from a movie she’s writing.

“You know how people write plays and movies? That’s what I did. I wrote that and I gave the world a tiny little preview of what was to come,” she said.

A movie? Heaven help us all (LOL).

A couple of days ago when I discussed the Catholic League’s reaction to what Nicki did at the Grammys, I said that I wasn’t offended at all. I want to take that back. I watched the video a few more times, and I am ridiculously offended. Not by all the religious business or the exorcism aspect or anything like that: I am offended because it was so bad. Nicki claims that she was being theatrical with that remark about “you know how people write plays and movies,” but the thing is, she wasn’t playing at the Tony Awards or the Oscars. She was a rapper performing at the Grammys, so it’s not absurd for people to have expected a musical performance. It was like she was doing a really bad number from a musical that I have zero interest in seeing.

I get that musicians can be theatrical. I’m a Bowie fan remember? And even though I personally can’t stand Lady Gaga, I know that she’s really talented, and every weird performance of hers I’ve seen, she had the talent and the skill to back up all the weird stuff. But I’m sorry, Nicki’s actual performance sounded like a hot mess, and as a musician, no matter how much cool stuff you do or how many neat costumes and tricks you have, it doesn’t matter if the music suffers because of it.

I never thought I’d say this, but I agree with Lil’ Kim. What about you?

Nicki Minaj Responds to The Death of Osama Bin Laden

Unless you’ve been living in a cave (pun kind of intended,) you’ve probably heard by now that Osama Bin Laden was finally found and killed. Just about everyone I follow on Twitter had a lot to say about the news, but perhaps the craziest/most hilarious commentary I saw was from rapper Nicki Minaj (who has since removed the Tweet from her account.)

You all know that I’m pretty much obsessed with Nicki, but I can’t figure out if think her Tweet was one of the most spot on yet completely ridiculous remarks I’ve ever seen in response to such a serious news event or pretty damn selfish. Sure, Lil Kim has talked endlessly about how she wants Nicki gone, but making a world-wise news event about yourself is pretty uncouth.

Make sure you let me know in the poll how you feel about Nicki’s Tweet and feel free to discuss last night’s events in our comment section…

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