3Happy Ho-lidays from Lil’ Kim!

Ready, set, go: what’s the funniest thing about this Lil’ Kim holiday promo? There’s going to be a quiz at the end, so don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I’ve got a few suggestions, myself—

#1: The fact that Kim thinks we’re stupid (or blind) enough to believe that this is what her face really looks like in 2012. See, because no, girl. This is what Lil’ Kim looks like in 2012:

But you know what? Here’s some information that just might help clear things up—this was the accompanying tweet from Kim regarding the picture:

On the 1st day of Xmas my Queen Bee gave to me: An exclusive never before seen picture just for U!!! Muah!!! :)

So it’s totally plausible that this photo of Kim was taken in, I don’t know, 1989, and had it retouched so it looked a little more current, yeah? Because unless doctors have figured out a way to completely reverse the damage done by plastic surgery then Lindsay Lohan should probably hear about this I think it’s probably an old photo.

Also, #2: Wait. There is no number two, because the funniest thing about this picture is that it doesn’t even look like Lil’ Kim anymore. That’s really about it.

December 13, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Sarah

45Your Awful Plastic Surgery of the Day: Lil’ Kim

Even the guy in the photo is like, “God, what the f-ck am I even doing here? I could have had a V8.”

These pictures were taken of Lil’ Kim during the LA Gay Pride Festival, which happened this past weekend in West Hollywood, and girl is definitely looking worse for the wear. Can you even believe that she’s only thirty-six years old? I could just die.

In case you’d forgotten, or you’re under the age of twenty-eight, this is what Lil’ Kim used to look like:

And she wasn’t so bad way back when, yeah? How about this one, where she actually looked like a normal person off the street?:

Oh, I’m sorry, you thought I was serious? Come on. Kim hasn’t looked like a normal person since that one mugshot. This one:

Come on now.

Check out other photos in the gallery from Kim’s performance, and other photos showcasing her very best looks. LOLZ.

June 11, 2012 at 7:30 am by Sarah

1People Are Still Talking About Nicki Minaj’s Grammy Performance

21221223435 by YardieGoals

Specifically, Lil’ Kim is still talking about it. That shouldn’t be surprising since Lil’ Kim holds a bit of a grudge against Nicki Minaj and Nicki isn’t too fond of Lil’ Kim either. Another reason why it shouldn’t come as a surprise is because lots of people are getting their panties in a wad over Nicki’s “The Exorcism of Roman.” But it’s always fun to talk about some ladies being snippy, and I figured this is as good a way as any to kick off the evening, so let’s go ahead and get started, all right?

Here’s what Lil’ Kim had to say about Nicki:

You can count Lil’ Kim among the people confused – to put it mildly – by Nicki Minaj’s religious-themed performance at Sunday’s Grammy Awards.

“I don’t know what that was. I’m pretty sure I feel the same way everybody else feels right about now,” Kim, 37, said Wednesday night on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live.

But then Kim got a little more blunt in her appraisal of the 29-year-old rapper. “If you have to make a song called ‘Stupid Hoe,’ you must be a stupid hoe,” Kim said after host Andy Cohen told her she got many questions from viewers about her thoughts on Minaj.

So far, Nicki hasn’t responded to these specific remarks, but she has commented on the reaction her performance received:

“I don’t know what is the big issue?” she said Wednesday at a Viva Glam MAC cosmetics event in New York, reports the Associated Press. She also said the whole skit, which included dancing priests and a levitation stunt, was from a movie she’s writing.

“You know how people write plays and movies? That’s what I did. I wrote that and I gave the world a tiny little preview of what was to come,” she said.

A movie? Heaven help us all (LOL).

A couple of days ago when I discussed the Catholic League’s reaction to what Nicki did at the Grammys, I said that I wasn’t offended at all. I want to take that back. I watched the video a few more times, and I am ridiculously offended. Not by all the religious business or the exorcism aspect or anything like that: I am offended because it was so bad. Nicki claims that she was being theatrical with that remark about “you know how people write plays and movies,” but the thing is, she wasn’t playing at the Tony Awards or the Oscars. She was a rapper performing at the Grammys, so it’s not absurd for people to have expected a musical performance. It was like she was doing a really bad number from a musical that I have zero interest in seeing.

I get that musicians can be theatrical. I’m a Bowie fan remember? And even though I personally can’t stand Lady Gaga, I know that she’s really talented, and every weird performance of hers I’ve seen, she had the talent and the skill to back up all the weird stuff. But I’m sorry, Nicki’s actual performance sounded like a hot mess, and as a musician, no matter how much cool stuff you do or how many neat costumes and tricks you have, it doesn’t matter if the music suffers because of it.

I never thought I’d say this, but I agree with Lil’ Kim. What about you?

February 16, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Emily

3Nicki Minaj Responds to The Death of Osama Bin Laden

Unless you’ve been living in a cave (pun kind of intended,) you’ve probably heard by now that Osama Bin Laden was finally found and killed. Just about everyone I follow on Twitter had a lot to say about the news, but perhaps the craziest/most hilarious commentary I saw was from rapper Nicki Minaj (who has since removed the Tweet from her account.)

You all know that I’m pretty much obsessed with Nicki, but I can’t figure out if think her Tweet was one of the most spot on yet completely ridiculous remarks I’ve ever seen in response to such a serious news event or pretty damn selfish. Sure, Lil Kim has talked endlessly about how she wants Nicki gone, but making a world-wise news event about yourself is pretty uncouth.

Make sure you let me know in the poll how you feel about Nicki’s Tweet and feel free to discuss last night’s events in our comment section…

May 2, 2011 at 4:30 am by Molls

34Lil Kim Wants Nicki Minaj Dead

… Or that’s the feeling you get looking at the cover art for her new Black Friday mix tape, anyway.

As you can see above, Kim is sitting in the middle of a Kill Bill style bloodbath, with what appears to be the disemboweled carcass of Nicki Minaj behind her. And of course, the name Black Friday is a play on Nicki’s #1 album, Pink Friday.

Violence in rap isn’t something that we as a society take all that seriously any more, but 15-20 years ago, the rap community was considered a dangerous place. Kim, who was especially close to the late Biggie Smalls, should know that. Why she would choose to fight back at Nicki with images of death is beyond me. It’s probably poor judgment for her to take a swing at Nicki in the first place, but illustrating her dead is just stupid.

On the other hand, Kim’s an old rapper. She needs to grab our attention somehow, and the last time she was popular, this kind of behavior was considered the norm. Beside, it’s not like Nicki can’t stand up for herself.

What do you think of this cover? Does it offend you? Do you understand what Kim’s trying to do? Let me know what you think in the comments and by voting in the poll.

February 15, 2011 at 1:00 pm by Molls

78Lil’ Kim Doesn’t Like the Way She’s Portrayed in Biggie Biopic

Uh-oh! Drama!!!

Lil’ Kim has released a statement lashing out at the producers of the new biopic about Notorious B.I.G., explaining that she is not happy about the way the film portrays her:

The film studio and producers involved were more concerned about painting me as a ‘character’ to create a more interesting story line instead of a person with talent, self-respect and who was able to achieve her own career success through hard work … Even though my relationship with Big was at times very difficult and complicated (as with most relationships we have all experienced at one time or another), it was also genuine and built on great admiration and love for each other. Regardless of the many lies in the movie and false portrayal of me to help carry a story line through, I will still continue to carry his legacy through my hard work and music.

Biggie’s people are having none of it. Says his mother, Voletta Wallace, “This is not a Lil Kim movie. This is a Christopher Wallace movie. It has nothing to do with Lil Kim. If she’s disappointed and upset, that is her problem.”

And from Wayne Barrow, one of the film’s producers: “Our job as producers … was to deliver for three individuals. That’s his mom and his two children. Everybody else: Stand in line, buy a ticket and enjoy the show.”

The film, Notorious, opens in theaters this Friday.

January 13, 2009 at 11:19 pm by Evil Beet