Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Leighton Meester

Leighton Meester Signs Record Deal

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Why don’t I have a record deal yet? They’re giving them away like free condoms on student health day. Record deals must be growing on trees, or falling like snow out of Linsday Lohan’s nose because everyone who really has no business at all having a record deal is getting one. The latest? Gossip Girls’ Leighton Meester.

The 23-year-old actress began recording material — described as having an “electro-pop edge” — for the project in March and has clocked studio time with producers Polow Da Don (Usher, Fergie), Harvey Mason, Jr. (Justin Timberlake, Pink) and Spencer Nezey (Jupiter Rising).

It’s a good thing she’s working with good producers because I’m guessing the two elements she’ll need to make a decent record are not good songwriting and vocal talent, but excellent production and a heavy dose of Autotune.

Gossip Girl Gets Engaged

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Gossip Girl star Leighton Meester became engaged to actor Sebastian Stan this weekend.  I’d like to tell you why this relationship is going to fail.  Not because she’s only 22.  Not because, even though they only met last year, the media is referring to them as “long-term.”  Not because she’s on a hit show and no one really knows who he is.  Not because they made their announcement on their Facebook pages.  The reason this union is destined for failure is this.  Though the media is highlighting his two-episode appearance on GG (which is how the two met), his most high-profile role is that of “the guy” in a Hayden Panettiere music video.  Wake Up Call.  Remember that song?  Synopsis:  Buy me drinks and take me places or I’ll sleep with other guys. 

And could you ever envision yourself growing old with the guy who thought it was good judgment to be in a Hayden Panettiere video?  Truly?

Leighton Meester Is Everywhere!

Not only is her mom penning a tell-all about the actress’s early years, but now it sounds like Gossip Girl star Leighton Meester is coming out with an album.

“I am yeah,” she told Access Hollywood recently when asked about it. “Technically, yeah I am. I mean, for real this time … I’ve always done [music], just now I am actually doing an album that I plan to release.”

A Good Mother Always Writes a Tell-All

Aw, how sweet.

Lynne Spears and Alec Baldwin aren’t the only Hollywood parents airing their family’s dirty laundry in an upcoming book.

Leighton Meester’s mother is apparently shopping a book about what a train wreck her family was back when Leighton was born.

The book will reportedly tell Connie’s life journey from drug ring co-conspirator to suburban real estate agent to author and, of course, to the rearing of her TV star child.

After an FBI bust in 1985, Connie began serving over a one year sentence at a Federal Prison in Fort Worth, Texas. Her stint was briefly interrupted in April of 1986 when she was released to give birth and nurse Leighton for 12 weeks. Mama Meester ultimately returned to the clink where she served until November of ’86.

The elder Meester is still looking for a publisher for her opus.

Any takers?

Who Wore It Worse?

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So, Mary-Kate Olsen and Leighton Meester chatted on the phone the night before the New Yorkers for Children charity ball, and Leighton was all like, “I bet I can look more ridiculous than you by putting my small, bra-less tits into a shapeless dress,” and Mary-Kate was all like, “I’ll take that bet, bitch.”

Who won?

You decide.

My Precious Leighton Meester is Totally Selling Out Already

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Gossip Girl’s villainess launches Sunsilk’s “Life Can’t Wait” campaign in New York City.

Because life’s not worth living if your hair doesn’t look good.

Seriously, might as well just kill yourself. Put a gun in your mouth and blow that frizzy, fine hair — along with fragments of your scalp and brain and teeth — against the wall. Because life will just pass you the fuck up if your hair’s not awesome.

Who the fuck thinks this shit up?