Please allow me to paint this inspiring picture for you. Ready? Ok. LeAnn Rimes was at a restaurant in Chicago with Eddie and his kids. Eddie was chewing up some lettuce to spit into LeAnn’s mouth when a bold and sassy do-gooder decided to take her shot and approach the country star. And that do-gooder spoke for us all when she let LeAnn in on some home truths.
What you are about to read is a fictional representation of an actual event, based on LeAnn’s Tweets:
Eddie: LeAnn, baby doll, do you want some of my pasta?
LeAnn: No … no solids …
Eddie: LeAnn, please, for the children.
LeAnn: I’ll get f-f-f … get f-f … f-f-f-f-f-f-f -
Eddie: You won’t, honey, you won’t. One bite of solid food isn’t going to make you fat, it’s just going to -
LeAnn: YOU SAID THE WORD!
Eddie: Please, don’t make a scene, I was just -
Do-Gooder: Um, hey, excuse me? Skinny bitch on the left? You need to stop throwin’ a hissy and get you some food, girl, you need to eat you somethin’, ok? This man is tryin’ to do good by you, tryin’ to treat you nice, and all you got to give him is grief and 90 pounds of bones? Shoooooo, skinny bitches, gratin’ on my last nerve. Whatever, I’m out.
AND ….. SCENE.
But yeah, LeAnn whined on her Twitter, “How dare someone come to me at a table w/ the boys & tell me I need to eat something. What is wrong with people!? AS I’m stuffing my face….have another drink and maybe take a class in manners! Cheers!” Which is actually really fair, I think it would be mad rude to tell a stranger that she needed to eat something, but damn if I don’t love how sassy that unnamed do-gooder sounds in my head.
Would any of you have the gumption to say such a thing to LeAnn’s face?
August 23, 2011 at 5:30 am by Emily
Anyway, it turns out that LeAnn is going to be giving the world one of the biggest gifts imaginable come September: a brand new album! Do you think she’s going to have some moving songs about her one true love? Do you even think she’d be able to muster up enough power to sing all that great anymore? I don’t know if it even matters, because it looks like LeAnn kind of wants to fail.
From In Touch via Celebitchy:
Nowadays, it’s not exactly controversial for a woman to juggle a husband and a career. A friend tells In Touch that LeAnn is actually struggling with her decision to start working again, four months after her whirlwind marriage to Eddie Cibrian.
“She hasn’t spent any time away from Eddie since they first got together,” the friend explains. Now, oh-so-in-love LeAnn has recorded a new album, due out in September, but she seems to be on the fence about wanting it to be a success!
“She has a lot riding on this,” another pal explains. “She has concerns about whether her old fan base is still there for her. Yet she also knows that if the album is a hit, she’ll have to go on tour, without Eddie.”
And that’s what she finds most troubling: “LeAnn said that the thought of being away for days or even weeks at a time makes her feel lonely,” says the friend.
Oh, LeAnn. What happened to that “comfort to be trustful,” huh?
August 19, 2011 at 4:30 pm by Emily
See these photos? They’re the most recent ones of LeAnn Rimes, in which she performs for the “Lifting Lives” benefit held at a bar in Chicago. Crystal Bowersox was also there, and the concert was held to “[improve] lives through the power of music.”
Just so you know, the event’s Facebook page attracted 16 attending, 4 maybe attending, and 13 not attending. Did anyone actually go to this thing?
Anyway, LeAnn still looks all sharp and pointy and like something that might give you tetanus if you happened to step on it while seeking junkyard treasures (what?), but she’s looking a teeny, tiny bit better than she has in recent weeks – but maybe that’s because she’s not flaunting her
bones muscles in skimpy bikinis for the world to see.
August 17, 2011 at 12:30 pm by Sarah
Oh, the whimsy and utter delight that LeAnn Rimes always stirs up inside me! Her startling beauty always makes me reminisce of days gone by, of the times of yesteryear when my 11-year-old self would run a nice hot bath, light some candles, and relax to LeAnn’s Sittin’ on Top of the World*. So it’s fitting that LeAnn would post this lovely photograph to her Twitter, because what better way to see such an ethereal force than with those well-loved fairy wings and that timeless pose?
*Yes, that actually happened, and yes, I’m as ashamed of it as you think I am.
August 16, 2011 at 4:30 pm by Emily
Because if there’s one body type that drives us all crazy, it’s that emaciated look that’s so hot right now, with that distended stomach and those sweet toothpick arms. And we all know that no one is doing that look better than LeAnn Rimes.
What do you guys think? Could LeAnn sell you a bikini, or do you not want your breasts to ever look anything like hers?
Images courtesy of Mikoh Swimwear
August 11, 2011 at 5:30 am by Emily
Do you see those little words there on LeAnn‘s ribcage? Well, that’s not THE tattoo, it’s just a stencil she had done to see if she liked it, which she did, so she’s going to get the ink sometimes later this month. What does the future tattoo say, you might ask? It’s a line from the wedding vows Eddie Cibrian made to her:
“You gave me the courage to be truthful, I promise to give you the comfort to be trustful.”
I’m not an expert on LeAnn and Eddie’s relationship or anything (I am really, really close though), but isn’t this a little silly? Does anyone else read this line as “no, it’s cool, I’m not going to cheat on YOU, babe,” or is that just me?
Also, people who have tattoos: won’t this hurt like hell on LeAnn’s extra bony ribcage?
Image courtesy of E! Online