Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Lea Michele

Lea Michele, Please Stop Trying to Be Sexy

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Lea Michele is really, really trying to make her sexy popstar career happen, and it’s really, really NOT happening. Her latest ploy for attention comes in the form of a Terry Richardson shoot in which she dons a cut-out bodysuit and pulls it down all sultry-like in an effort to convince you that she’s seriously hot.

Listen, Lea is a beautiful girl and we all like to feel pretty and all of that, but girl… no. Just stop immediately. The above shoot doesn’t say “sexy, classy Hollywood starlet”, it says “broke college girl who answered an ad on Craigslist for an easy $100″, right?

Here’s a bit of her accompanying interview, which really seals the deal on why I can’t stand this chick:

“My friends call me Grandma, but, like, Grandma’s killing it right now. I’m pretty sure Grandma nailed it in a half-naked Terry Richardson shoot, okay?” Michele says in the accompanying interview with Mary H.K. Choi. “So I’m fine with it. I just do my thing. I do what’s best for me. That’s it.”

Uhhh…

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Lea Michele Debuts New Single, ‘Battlefield’

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Following up her debut single, ‘Cannonball’, Lea Michele has brought out the second cut from her first album, Louder, and this one is called… ‘Battlefield’. What’s up with the war themes, girl? This one is a tinkly piano ballad that does absolutely nothing at all for her or for my ears, but whatever, YMMV. Have a listen:

Lea is pretty excited about it and promo’d it on Twitter on Friday, but I’m just not so sure. I think she’s an amazing singer and Broadway actress, but the whole pop star thing is just not for her. And that’s okay! But let’s just leave this whole solo career alone, shall we?


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Cory Monteith Made Leah Michele Feel Really Special

lea michele cory monteith

Ugh, again, I hate when I have to sympathize with Lea “cannonballs are the first thing that come to mind when thinking of airborne objects” Michele, but I do. Having lost her (possible fiancé and) boyfriend Cory Monteith earlier this year, she’s really had to come to terms with moving on and getting herself together. While appearing on The Ellen DeGeneres Show this week, she recalled how Cory first revealed their relationship on Ellen’s show and how much knowing that meant to her.

“It’s one of my favorite memories. I remember when he came home that night he kind of puffed out his chest and he was like, ‘I talked about you on Ellen today’.

“I was so happy. He’s such a private person and I literally lived every day of my life feeling like the luckiest girl in the whole world. I just thought he was the greatest man and so at that moment, that memory, it means so much to me.”

Aw, that is really sweet. AND REALLY SAD. Seriously, I would not be able to get my shit together if that happened to me – at least not so quickly – so you have to commend Lea for putting on a brave face and managing to continue with her work and career. Maybe that’s a distraction for her, of course – keeping busy means less time to think about the fact that the person you love isn’t there anymore, I suppose. Either way, this shit is still really sad.

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Listen: Lea Michele’s Debut Single, ‘Cannonball’, Is Here

lea michele cannonball

Y’all know Lea Michele is sorta my arch enemy (in a completely non-serious way because who am I, Voldemort?), largely because her case of Special Snowflake Syndrome is beyond a joke and she is annoying as shit. Not much changes with the release of her debut single, ‘Cannonball’. The song is talking about how she needs to get back out in the world and start living and not let anything hold her back, which is an empowering message for sure – especially for her personally since Cory Monteith‘s death.

The problem comes when she starts talking about how she’s gotta start flying… like a cannonball. When one thinks of something that soars high in the sky, I don’t think a fucking cannonball would be on anyone’s top 100. Sure, maybe the songwriters were trying to avoid using birds or anything else that’s too cliche, but like… for real? Cannonballs might shoot up with some impetus behind them, but then they come hurdling straight back down to the ground and can kill people/destroy things when they do. So…

I suppose the one high point behind this track is that if you try really hard, you can almost pretend that this isn’t Lea Michele singing. She doesn’t sound all that much like herself – miracles of the modern music studio, I suppose – so it’s vaguely less annoying for that. Also, something will clearly come of it because I’ve only listened to this piece of shit once and the chorus is already stuck in my head. God help us all.

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Unlikely Friend Alert: Kate Hudson and Lea Michele

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Kate Hudson and Lea Michele are unlikely friends, aren’t they? But apparently, they got especially close when Kate Hudson helped Lea Michele through her devastating times. Here’s what Miss Michele told Elle, via Us:

“I called her and said, I don’t know where I’m going to go because my house is swarmed [with reporters]. She was like, ‘Oh, you’re going to stay at my house.’ Like it was nothing. She let my family stay there, and any of my friends. She made sure that in the refrigerator were my favorite juices. I’ll never really be able to thank her, truly, for what she did for me.

They met when Kate Hudson did a cameo on Glee. I had no idea they got so close. Something about her having Lea Michele’s “favorite  juices” makes me tear up. I think I’m just feeling sappy today. I don’t know. Anyone else? Let me know.

As for Michele going forward?

Now that I’m in this position, you can choose to rise, which is what I’m going to try to do. It’s very hard and you have to be very strong to come out of this alive, but I think by doing the best for myself, by showing that you don’t have to lose yourself, maybe someone else will feel some sort of strength or comfort.

Her attitude is brilliant. Good for her.

Here’s the cover. Honestly, I’m not psyched about it. The hell did they do to her makeup and why give her the early ’00s denim and jean jewelry belts??:

lea-michele-elle

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Here’s Lea Michele’s ‘Sexy’ Album Cover Shoot

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Please excuse me while I heave into the nearest bucket, but Lea Michele has let out some teasers from her album cover shoot that I suppose are meant to be “sexy” but are anything but, to me. I would never say Lea is ugly at all, and that’s not what I’m meaning to imply here. What I am saying is that homegirl needs to cool her jets and pick a direction. Do you want to be Barbra Streisand and a stage diva or do you want to be a sexy pop star? If I were you, I’d pick the former because I don’t think the latter is going to happen.

Here’s the Instagram caption that went with the above photo, just for completion: “Today I’m shooting the cover for my album! Working with the amazing photographer Peggy Sirota! ?#Album”

Well… exciting. I softened a lot towards Lea after Cory died because I felt so awful for her – and still do. I would literally be inconsolable in her position, and it gave me sort of real view of her humanity. However, now that life is moving on, I find myself right back in my original stance, which is that she’s just insufferable. :(

Also, who in the hell is the target audience for this album? Glee fans? Theatre geeks? I’m just so confused.

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