Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Lea Michele

Glee Covers Bowie, Murders A Part of My Soul

For some reason, this horrible nightmare never seemed like a legitimate possibility. That wretched Lea Michele singing the words of the absolute master, David Bowie? It’s like kitten genocide: why would it even cross your mind? But that’s why things like this knock us down so hard, friends, because we don’t expect them. To quote the immortal words of Mad-Eye Moody, “constant vigilance!”

Glee butchered Bowie’s “Fashion” in order to promote Fashion’s Night Out, which, as far as I can tell, is just a big event to promote shopping. And that’s absolutely appalling to me, because not only did these people desecrate one of the purest forms of magic I’ve ever known, but they did it just to let people know that they should go shopping on September 8th because if they’re in a big enough city, they might get to meet a celebrity. And if this is what passes for a celebrity nowadays, bratty kids pissing all over good music, then I am not interested, not even a little bit.

It’s fun to get fired up over trivial things, isn’t it? But really, step off David Bowie. He’s too sacred.

Lea Michele is Dumped from Funny Girl

photo of lea michele pictures photos funny girl barbara streisand pics

Remember those Barbara Streisand comparisons that Lea Michele just loved getting so much? Well it looks like those days are over. Michele, who was being considered for the lead role in a Broadway production of Funny Girl, has lost the role to fellow actress Lauren Ambrose. Also, Funny Girl, if you’ll remember, was the Broadway play that made Barbara Streisand an international star back when it debuted in the sixties.

Still trying to be gracious, though, Lea says:

“Honestly, I’m a huge fan of Lauren’s and I can’t wait to see it. I might be in the audience singing along … I might even storm the stage.”

I completely believe all of that (especially the part about storming the stage) – with the exception of being a huge fan of Ambrose’s. Lea and her rumored diva-ness must be really licking her wounds over this one, you know?

Sorry, girl. Tough break.

Blind Item: Glee And Cocaine!

Man, I don’t know what it is, but I sure do love blind items featuring cocaine! Not only that, but I love talking trash about Lea Michele, and with this particular blind item, I get to do both! Are you not so excited for me?!

Which Glee actress who does not think she has a coke problem is out of control with her coke problem. It will be interesting to see if she can make it through the season without rehab.

Lea.  Lea Lea Lea. Name me one other actress from Glee, and if you can actually do that, then name one whose bad attitude and bitch face can be at least partially explained by cocaine. Can you do it? All right, then I’m going to go ahead and christen Lea “Cokey von Crackstein, Dutchess of Methstonia.” Can you dig it?

Lea Michele is Looking Good for Harper’s Bazaar

photo of lea michele harper's bazaar pictures interview photos hot

Man, sometimes I’m really back and forth about Lea Michele. Sometimes I think she’s an insufferable drama queen, sometimes I think she’s alright; sometimes I think she’s kind of odd-looking, sometimes I think she’s positively gorgeous – and this time around, she’s scored high in both categories. After seeing these photos of her Bazaar shoot and reading the corresponding interview, I have to say she’s both alright AND gorgeous. For today. You guys know I can’t promise what tomorrow’s going to hold.

On her career:

“I don’t stop.  It’s my nature. People have to tell me to slow down. I plan on playing every role on Broadway. . . . I want to do movies, make music. Glee is only the beginning.”

On her looks:

“How many managers told me, ‘Get a nose job. You’re not pretty enough’? But I proved them wrong.”

On rumors that she’s a totally vapid diva bitch:

“People have to remember this is all new for us  We’re all reasonably young, except for Cory [Monteith], who’s old.  … I’ve learned some lessons, but people are going to say what they want to say. I know who I am, and I’m not perfect.”

On her friends and boyfriend:

“I have a small life.  I just want to be around them [Glee castmates] all day.  [On a typical night, she and Stockman] “cook dinner and have wine.”

See? Sort of likable this time around, right? She’s got the ambition that I so admire in a person, the “small life,” as she says, and the foresight to know claiming perfection at such young age is career suicide.  It works for now.

Love It or Leave It: Lea Michele Sans Makeup

photos of lea michele no makeup hot pictures photos all natural pics

Is it me, or does Lea Michele look tons better without all of the thickly-applied makeup that she normally wears?

Here you can actually see her features, and it doesn’t look like the first six layers of skin are going to crack and fall off with the weight of a heavy foundation should she happen to smile. Also? She looks way better without all of the dark lipstick, too. It’s just not for everybody. I mean, I can’t wear it either. I look like a kid playing dress up when I try, and that’s never a look that’s good on anyone.

How do you guys like your Lea?

Image courtesy of Celebuzz

New Year’s Eve is Being Touted as the Biggest Rom-Com in the History of Rom-Coms

Looks like Valentine’s Day is really trying to out-do itself with this cast of characters. Are you ready? Let’s try … Zac Efron, Lea Michele, Ashton Kutcher, Michelle Pfeiffer, Halle Berry, Jessica Biel, Seth Meyers, Robert De Niro, Hilary Swank, Katherine Heigl, Josh Duhamel, Jon Bon Jovi, Sarah Jessica Parker and Abigail Breslin, and LUDACRIS. I mean, take that and combine it with the cast of VD and you’ve got practically the best actors and actresses in Hollywood, with the notable exception of George Clooney or Brad Pitt or something. It’s like the cheesy, sappy version of the Oceans movies.

The movie hits theaters December 9th. Is it on your to-do list?

Oh Look, It’s Lea Michele Trying to Drive Barbara Streisand Comparisons Into Our Subconsciouses Again

Ever hear of a little song called ‘Don’t Rain on My Parade’? Lea Michele sang it live at the Staples center yesterday for something Glee-related. (Insert witty anecdote here.) I think my first experience with that particular ditty, however, was in Mrs. Doubtfire, when Robin Williams‘ character was going all drag crazy with his brother and company. See?:

Oh, and then there was Annette Bening‘s character going all … just nuts, I guess, during one of her gun-toting scenes in American Beauty:

I’m sorry – I know this post was supposed to be about Lea Michele, for those of you who can actually stand to talk about her for more than a hot second, but I? just can’t. I’m not going to pretend she’s the next coming of Barbara Streisand (she’s not), and I’m not going to act like she’s not supposedly a self-involved bitch (’cause frankly, I hear she is).

Do you guys actually like this crap?