Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Lauryn Hill

Lauryn Hill Is Getting Out of Jail and Has a New Song Called ‘Consumerism’

lauryn hill

Perhaps aptly titled – considering her prison tenure for not paying taxes – Lauryn Hill‘s release of a new track entitled ‘Consumerism’ the day before she was released really gives me a chuckle. Also, considering The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill was a massive part of a lot of our lives in the late ’90s, I had high hopes before pressing the play button.

After a few listens, I’m still not sure if this is artistic growth or the ramblings of someone with some mental health issues, which she’s definitely suffered from before. I’m feeling what she’s talking about – though you’ll have a job trying to decipher it since she seems to be in competition with Bone Thugs n Harmony to speed up her rhymes – but her repeated “egotism egotism egotism” inserts and the fact that she tries to insert every possible issue known to man and comes off rather frantic and undirected make it kind of a miss to me, I think.

Apparently ‘Consumerism’ is part of a project she’s working on called Letters From Exile that should be released through Sony Music at some point. Here’s what Lauryn had to say about it:

“‘Consumerism’ is part of some material I was trying to finish before I had to come in,” Hill said in a statement. “We did our best to eke out a mix via verbal and emailed direction, thanks to the crew of surrogate ears on the other side.

Letters From Exile is material written from a certain space, in a certain place. I felt the need to discuss the underlying socio-political, cultural paradigm as I saw it.”

“I haven’t been able to watch the news too much recently, so I’m not hip on everything going on. But inspiration of this sort is a kind of news in and of itself, and often times contains an urgency that precedes what happens.

“I couldn’t imagine it not being relevant. Messages like these I imagine find their audience, or their audience finds them, like water seeking its level.”

Well, fair enough, I guess? She’s not the first rapper to do “higher consciousness” rhymes and I respect that. I also don’t want to undermine her views (which admittedly have been extreme/off the wall in recent years and have accompanied some pretty eccentric behaviour), but I just don’t understand.

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Lauryn Hill Is Living It Up In Prison, Has Received “Warm Reception”

lauryn hill

In case you forgot, Lauryn Hill is in jail for tax evasion – the same thing plenty of white celebrities do all the time but never seem to go to jail for. We won’t get too into that (it’s REALLY fucked up, guys), but what we will get into is what a positive experience she’s managing to make of her time behind bars. Maybe there is some truth to Orange Is The New Black, after all. (That’s my attempt at making a relevant joke.)

Anyhoo, a member of Lauryn’s team took to her Tumblr page (love it!) this week to post the following message on behalf of the star:

“I have known since very young to look for the purpose and lesson in everything, including the trials.  Although it has taken some adjustment, I cannot deny the favor I have encountered while in here, and general warm reception from a community of people who despite their circumstances, have found unique ways to make the best of them.  Thank you for the letters of concern and well wishes that I receive in the mail every day.  Although I may not be able to write everyone back, please know that they have been received, read, acknowledged, and appreciated. With Love back, MLH”

I love the fact that she insists on being referred to as “Ms.” Lauryn Hill instead of just Lauryn. In any case, she’s well into her three month sentence now – here’s hoping it goes quickly so she can get back to… whatever it is she’s doing these days.

Lauryn Hill Is Going To Jail For Tax Evasion. Just A Reminder: Lohan Didn’t

lauryn hill court prison

Lauryn Hill is going to jail for 3 months on July 8 for tax evasion. Sorry, not jail — prison. Federal prison. I want to take this time to remind everyone that Lindsay Lohan has not gone to jail for her tax issues and that she should be in jail right now for so many things but she isn’t. Yes, Charlie Sheen helped her with some of her taxes, but not all. She still owes a lot. But that Lauryn Hill…let’s lock her up.

Okay, it is a serious case, and Ms. Hill owes a lot, and if she broke the law, she should go to jail. Federal prison though sounds like a bit much. Um, it probably didn’t help that when she addressed the sentencing judge, she compared her whole ordeal to slavery. From TMZ:

I was put into a system I didn’t know the nature of. … I’m a child of former slaves. I got into an economic paradigm and had that imposed on me. I sold 50 million units … now I’m up here paying a tax debt. If that’s not likened to slavery, I don’t know what is.

I’m guessing the judge did not appreciate that at all and it did not help her case. And what is her case, exactly?

Lauryn Hill has been sentenced to spend 3 months in FEDERAL PRISON for tax evasion … even though she claims she paid off her nearly $1 million bill to Uncle Sam before sentencing.

Before the hearing, Hill’s attorney told the media the singer scraped together more than $970,000 to repay her debt to the government.

The 37-year-old former Fugee pled guilty last year to three counts of tax evasion for failing to file returns on $1.8 million she earned from 2005 to 2007. Lauryn’s attorney asked for mercy because of her charity work and 6 kids … but the judge wasn’t buying it.

So, yes, she definitely effed up, and when you eff up you have to face consequences…LINDSAY.

I Would Have Given My Right Tit To Have Been At The Rock The Bells Festival Yesterday

…seriously. I would have cut off my boob and given it to you in a Ziplock had you come to me and offered to trade me a Rock the Bells ticket for it. So… if you invent time travel… and you have an extra ticket to the show… and a plane ticket to New York… and you have any interest in one small (AA) right breast…. let’s talk.

Why was the show such a big deal? The return of Lauryn Hill, duh. It’s been ages since Lauryn released the most important album of my lifetime, went crazy and then disappeared. But for some reason she agreed to perform at Rock the Bells. And if you don’t know how big of a deal that is, maybe the fact that she brought Jay-Z, Beyonce, Alicia Keys and Mary J. Blige out on stage with her might be an indication of her importance. Mary J! Beyonce! Jay-Z! Performing with Lauryn Hill! I would have died! Would you not have died?