For one second, though, we’re going assume that Lady Gaga’s not at all bitter or disappointed that she lost all of those nominations for Best Album and Best Record and blah blah blah, because last night, she apparently acknowledged Adele’s greatness and commended her for her multiple wins:

“What a beautiful night last night was, Adele deserved every award she won and perhaps an extra one for being such a kind and lovely woman.”

Sweet, right? That’s what she said on her Twitter page. The thing is, there were a few of Lady Gaga’s followers who were also just as seemingly gracious about their Mother Monster’s Grammy snub and were vocal about it, too:

“you deserved at least one, but yes Adele is a sweetheart and earned those grammy’s.”

“You sho shweet. I WUBB YOU SHO MUSH.”

And then, of course, there were others who said, you know, otherwise:

“i bet it killed u to say that because you know as much as the rest of us.. you deserved all them awards… #fix”

“SHE DID. BUT YOU DESERVED THEM, YOU SHOULDVE WALKED THE RED CARPET THOUGH :(”

So, OK. Lady Gaga was beat to an unbelievable level at this year’s Grammys. We get that. (We get that, right? All of us?) And it’s clear that not all of Lady Gaga’s fans are rabid, hate-spewing toads who live for nothing but tearing others down. I’m really glad for that, because despite the fact that Lady Gaga’s just not my thing, I can appreciate that she’s not all about that like some other artists might be. Maybe all of that bully-slamming did Lady Gaga’s fans some good, and that’s just fine.

I went on a tangent, though, here. This whole post was supposed to be about Lady Gaga’s awesome boobs for her ‘Born This Way Ball’ promo shoot. Aren’t they fabulous? I don’t know about you guys, but this photo makes me all about the boobs. They look so much better when they’re not all stretched out and sunken into her chest cavity. Way to go, Gaga. You have some totally superior boobs!

I know, what’s new, right? To give credit where credit is due though, Lady Gaga does do good work. She’s always doing something to combat bullying, her favorite cause, and she’s made a lot of strides. She even started her own foundation, remember?

That’s why it shouldn’t be a surprise that this past Saturday, Lady Gaga attended a conference for young women called “It’s Our Turn,” held at a school in L.A. She spoke about being bullied as a teenager, being bulimic, and, of course, being born this way.

On being bullied for her beliefs: “I started having trouble with girls in middle school,” Lady Gaga said. “I always knew that I wanted to do something very career oriented, and I always wanted to be a musician. ”That alone set me apart. I had such strong convictions and I was pretty delusional, in the same way that I am now … in wanting to change the world and end bullying in America and do whatever I can to promote peace around the world. It might sound kind of silly coming from someone in red lipstick with a bunch of jewels on my jacket,” Lady Gaga said. “But that’s just the way I have always been.”

On confronting a bully: “It wasn’t until my senior year in high school when I finally confronted my main bully,” Lady Gaga said. “She was always kind of mean to me, but I was always trying to be nice to her.”

One day the bully was discussing her after-school internship and the young Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta asked, “Oh, hey, how’s that going?” only for the bully to reply, “Why are you talking to me?”

Lady Gaga recalled finally asking her, “What the f*ck is your problem?”

To this, the Brentwood audience laughed, cheered and clapped. “She couldn’t believe that I stood up for myself,” Lady Gaga said. “And I said, ‘I am always nice to you. What is your problem with me? Maybe if you just tell me, we can figure this out.’ And she said something like ‘Well, I just don’t know why you’re so serious about music.’”

“You don’t always know why people exclude you or aren’t nice to you,” Lady Gaga said. “But I will tell you to this day it helped me so much to stand up to that person.”

On being bulimic: “I used to throw up all the time in high school. So I’m not that confident. And maybe it’s easier for me to talk about it now because I don’t do it anymore. I wanted to be a skinny little ballerina but I was a voluptuous little Italian girl whose dad had meatballs on the table every night,” Lady Gaga revealed. “I used to come home and say, ‘Dad, why do you always give us this food? I need to be thin.’ And he’d say, ‘Eat your spaghetti.’”

On body image: “Every video I’m in, every magazine cover, they stretch you; they make you perfect,” Lady Gaga said. “It’s not real life. I’m gonna say this about girls: The dieting wars have got to stop. Everyone just knock it off. Because at the end of the day, it’s affecting kids your age. And it’s making girls sick.”

On worth: “I’m encouraging you to know what you’re worth. And know that no matter who has more money in class, who has more stuff, who has a country house – nobody is worth more than anybody else.”

I think this is a pretty classy thing for Lady Gaga to be doing with her time, and believe me, that sort of pains me to say. But if she can use all her craziness to reach out to some kids, then that’s what matters, right?

Here he is again:

So, right? Imagine him (who is Adam Goldberg, and – wait. Is that Christina Ricci in that photo? YES IT IS. Apparently the two dated), messy hair, smoking that cigarette of his, stripping down to his underwear and looking all Lady Gaga-like. I’m not saying that Adam isn’t attractive, because I’m the one who’s infatuated with Adrien Brody and not a lot of people understand that. But I am saying that any hotness he might have possessed after a second or third (or … fourth) look all but evaporated once Jo Calderone arrived on the scene. Because now, I can’t look at Jo Calderone without thinking ‘Adam Goldberg’, nor can I look at Adam Goldberg and think ‘OMG hot’.

See what you’ve done, Gaga? You’ve ruined a perfectly good man with your greasy, skeeviness-masked-as-high-art, which, in actuality, has all been done before, and in case you were wondering if I was still (or, you know, ever) a fan of yours, the answer is a big, resounding ‘HELL NO’.

Other than that, the vocals on the video aren’t bad.

I never said she couldn’t sing.

Ugh, what a square, right? It’s like “get with the program, old man, it’s the 21st century! I don’t have to conform to your dumb old ideas or your dumb old society, dad.” And then he’s like “learn to respect your elders!” And then you’re like “learn to respect this, you crusty old bastard!” And then you flip him the bird and go to your bedroom to blast Papa Roach or whatever. And that is hard-f*cking-core.

And that is precisely what Lady Gaga is:

Lady GaGa has admitted that her father isn’t impressed with her risqué fashion sense.

The singer confessed that her dad Joe Germanotta often asks her to wear more normal clothes.

“I look the same during the day as I do on stage,” GaGa said, according to The Sun.

“My father is still like, ‘Can’t you just put this on?’ Some of it he just can’t handle.”

The singer has spent the the past few days organizing the setlist for her next tour. She tweeted on Friday that she will preview the stage on Tuesday.

GaGa has previously admitted that she will never be caught wearing casual clothes.

“I think you should look nice all the time,” she said. “When I meet celebrities and they’re in casual clothes, I’m always like, ‘Whaaat?’ I don’t mean to be judgmental, but it would do them better to be who they really are, all the time.”

Lady Gaga, not every celebrity has the kind of identity issues that you have. In fact, a lot of celebrities understand that when you’re just going out to the grocery store or for a walk or whatever, it’s ok to dress differently than when they go to an awards show, and when they do a concert, they can dress in a completely different way. In fact, I would argue that those people are more comfortable with being “who they really are” than you are. Honey, you were not born this way, and it’s getting old.

Now don’t come to dinner until you can put on some regular shoes and take that lobster off your head while your grandma’s in the house!

And what did she name the charity? The Born This Way Foundation. Of course.

The Born This Way Foundation, also known as the BTW Foundation (to me and my easily amused mind), is the product of a team-up between Lady Gaga and Harvard University. For real. The organization’s purpose is to “explore the best ways to reach youth and create a new culture of kindness, bravery, acceptance and empowerment.” I’m pretty sure what all that claptrap means is that Lady Gaga formed a whole organization to prevent bullying, her least favorite thing, and also to promote herself and how original she is. At least, that’s what I’m getting from this.

The foundation launches at the end of February at Harvard, and both Gaga and her mom, Cynthia, will be there to kick things off. Speaking of Lady Gaga’s mom, here’s a little statement that she had to give about her wacky daughter’s new thing:

“My daughter’s foundation was born out of her passion to create a better world where people are kinder and nicer to one another and are accepted for who they are, regardless of how different they may be,” Cynthia Germanotta said of the new organization. “She has experienced many of the struggles that our youth encounter today, and identifies with the lasting effects they can have without proper support. Together, we look forward to creating a new movement that will engage and empower youth and accept them as valuable members of our society.”

Despite how much I dislike Lady Gaga, which is almost as much as I dislike the phrase “accept them as valuable members of society,” this sounds like a pretty great thing. She’s always tried to reach out to her fans and to lead them to the right path in life, and even though she fails at that sometimes and even though she can get under my skin like no other celebrity can, I guess I have to respect that.

Except the part where she named the foundation after her shitty album. That’s not respectable, that’s vain self promotion. But that’s also Lady Gaga, so what are you going to do?

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Madonna ought to be flattered by Lady Gaga. But is she?

Tough to say.

First there was that quote in Newsweek Emily mentioned yesterday.

Then, in an interview aired on 20/20 last night, Madonna tried to play coy. (Unfortunately for Madonna, her “coy” is everybody else’s “ridiculously obvious.”) From the New York Daily News:

Madonna is finally expressing herself on Lady Gaga’s song, “Born This Way.”

Critics had pointed out similarities in the hit 2010 tune and the Material Girl’s 1989 chart-topper, “Express Yourself,” but Madonna herself had been quiet on the subject until Friday night’s interview on ABC’s “20/20.”

“When I heard it on the radio… I said that sounds very familiar,” Madonna told ABC News.

When pressed further, Madonna added that the song “felt reductive.”

Asked what that means, a smiling Madonna added, “Look it up.”

Jeesh. Without looking anything up, I can tell you Madonna thinks Gaga’s music is derivative in an artlessly unnuanced, shallow way. Just a guess.

By the way, this is on the front page of dictionary.com today:

I thought that was funny.

But Madonna sounded comparatively complimentary on last night’s “Graham Norton Show”:

“When I first saw her, I saw her performing at a very small club in Manhattan a couple of years ago, maybe it was like three years ago. I was actually really impressed by her. I thought she was really cool and she did remind me of me back in the day. I liked her rawness and there was something fresh about her and ballsy, and when she spoke to the audience, she sounded like she had a similar sense of humor to me, quite ironic, and I liked her. So I do think she is very talented.”

Wait, what? Gaga is talented because she’s ironic? Oh, no. No. Let’s not overthink the compliment: for all we know, it’s the only compliment Madonna has ever paid anyone.

Sort of well played, Madonna. Sort of well played.

Oh, and here are the lyrics, in case you’re unable to listen to the word ‘f-ck’ at work, or if you just don’t want to get yet another one of Lady Gaga’s unoriginal poetry stuck in your head for three days at a time:

Got no plans, got no clothes
Got no piano, we got no shows
No, I’ve got nothing to do
But to be stuck on you

Got no flights, out of here
Got no TV shows until next year
No I got nothing to do
But to be stuck on you

Baby, you’re my liquor
I’m addicted to you
So I’ll just be stuck on
Stuck on f-ckin’ you
Stuck on f-ckin’ you

I don’t ever want just another boy or a girl
Baby you and I,
Baby you and I could change the world
I don’t ever want just another boy or a girl to love
I’m stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck on you

Got all night, no cameras
We got no champagne but we got drugs
No, I’ve got nothing to do
But to be stuck on you

Purple sheets, symbol clock
Gonna spend my time rocking on top
Yeah, I’ve got nothing to do
But to be stuck on you

Baby you’re my Johnny Walker, baby it’s true
So I’ll just be stuck on, stuck on f-ckin’ you
Stuck on f-ckin’ you

I don’t ever want just another boy or a girl
Cause baby you and I,
Baby you and I could change the world
I don’t ever want just another boy or a girl to love
I’m stuck, stuck, stuck on you, On you

Got no plans, got no flights
Out of here, no TV shows
But we got mice in the kitchen
So we don’t care cause we’re in love

You’re in the shower, I meet you there
I buy you some hippie sh-t from the Deli downstairs, oh yeah
Lovin on my man’s space, so good

Don’t forget me baby
Don’t forget me when I leave and go outdoor
Cause I know your life will be a snore
You’ll be on stuck f-ckin’ this hooker wh-re
This hooker, wh-re-ooh

Got no nothing, you’re in the next room
You fell asleep on my tour bus
But me and Fernando and Paul will just spend the day of making music
But I miss you

The fridge is broke and we’re drinking warm champagne
But we don’t care ’cause we’re in Minnesota
And we’re sold out show again
And it’s a sold out show again

Alright then. Oh, and here’s the video, too, I guess. We should probably include it for those of you who actually want to hear the song, even after reading the lyrics:

What do you guys think?

Jennifer O’Neill says in her lawsuit … she worked for Gaga for 13 months, and is owed $380,000 in overtime. O’Neill says in her suit her job included “ensuring the promptness of a towel following a shower and serving as a personal alarm clock to keep [Gaga] on schedule.”

O’Neill claims she had to cater to Gaga in “stadiums, private jets, fine hotel suites, yachts, ferries, trains and tour buses.”

And, O’Neill says, she was required to be at Gaga’s beck and call at her “earliest waking hour.”

O’Neill is suing for the $380k — which represents 7,168 hours of overtime during the 13 months.

Gaga is not a defendant. O’Neill is suing Mermaid Touring Company, which Gaga uses for concerts and what not.

Gaga’s rep told the New York Post the suit is “completely without merit.”

So, OK. Normally, I’d NEVER defend Lady Gaga (and I’m still not, though I prefaced my comments with that previous statement), but isn’t this the kind of thing that personal assistants are generally required to do? Manage schedules, help organize crap, fetch things that these celebrities should be capable of fetching on their own and WOULD, if they weren’t jammed so far up their own asses that their arms turned into T-Rex appendages? Well, yes. However, one thing a lot of people seem to be missing is that this Jennifer chick isn’t lazy and she isn’t suing for having to perform demeaning tasks – she’s suing for unpaid overtime, and if Gaga’s personal life is as on-demand and erratic as her professional life, I don’t doubt that this poor girl had zero time of her own on her hands, and last I checked, overtime deserves compensation, too, no?

Hell yes, I’d be pissed. DOWN WITH GAGA.

When I think of Princess Diana, I think about timeless beauty, effortless grace, and a woman who was loved and adored by so many people in the world. When I think of Lady Gaga, I think … well, I don’t think those things. Sadly, my opinion doesn’t change what Gaga thinks, and what Gaga thinks is that she is this generation’s Diana:

“Gaga has been absolutely fixated on Diana and sees herself as a 21st-century incarnation of her,” a source told The Sun. “She knows she is almost as recognizable as Diana and is hounded by photographers and fans on the same level. Gaga has had dreams about dying the same way as her and has genuine fears that her fame could literally kill her, either in a chase or at the hands of crazies.”

I don’t even know where to begin with this. Does this mean that Lady Gaga thinks she’s America’s princess? That she thinks she’s worthy of the kind of admiration that people had for Diana? Oh God, she doesn’t think that anyone’s going to make a Beanie Baby for her, does she?

A couple weeks back, we showed you the teaser for Lady Gaga‘s latest music video, “Marry the Night.” A couple days back, I shared an interview Gaga did in which she called the video “autobiographical” and claimed she was “getting ready to relive the worst day of my life.” And now, we present to you the full 14 minutes of Gaga madness!

The video is autoplay, so it’s after the jump, but trust me, Lady Gaga directed this mess, it’s definitely worth a watch.

Well? Do you love it? Is it everything you’d hoped it would be? Are you as frustrated as I am that this girl is so talented but insists on doing music like this?

However, as much as it surprises you, Lady Gaga‘s nipples do not look anything like Miley Cyrus, unfortunate as that is, so to see the rill dill, you’ll have to check in after the jump.

BEWB.

Did you detect a little bit of sarcasm in that headline up there? Because I wanted you to. See, Lady Gaga is so bizarre and, seemingly, a bit of a pill, so yeah, I can see where she would have a tough time in love. Is that catty? Well, go ahead and read this excerpt from Gaga’s interview with Vanity Fair, and if you didn’t roll your eyes once, then you can call me catty.

On happiness: “I have never felt truly cherished by a lover. I have an inability to know what happiness feels like with a man,” the singer tells contributing editor Lisa Robinson. “I say this honestly, and this is my new thing as of the past year: when I fight with someone I’m in a relationship with, I think, What would my fans think if they knew this was happening? How would they feel about my work and about me as a female if they knew I was allowing this to go on? And then I get out.”

On unicorns and rainbows: “I have this effect on people where it starts out good. Then, when I’m in these relationships with people who are also creative, or creative in their own way, what happens is the attraction is initially there and it’s all unicorns and rainbows. And then they hate me.”

On being so talented: “Perhaps it’s a whose-dick-is-bigger contest. If I go to the piano and write a quick song and play it back, they are angry with how fast and effortless it is. That’s who I am, and I don’t apologize for it. But it’s a hideous place to be in when someone that you love has convinced you that you will never be good enough for anyone. I had a man say to me, ‘You will die alone in a house bigger than you know, with all your money and hit records, and you will die alone.’”

On intimidation: “Even though I know it sounds a bit Hallmark, whenever I [was] in that kind of stressful, worthless moment, I would think, I’ll show you.’” Gaga continues, “I think what it really is, is that I date creative people. And I think that what intimidates them is not my purse; it’s my mind.”

On proposals: Gaga says the weird thing is, after she’s left a few people, they’ve asked her to marry them. “How f*ckin’ romantic, you asshole. Sure, pop a ring on my finger and make it all better. I can buy myself a f*ckin’ ring.”

On her “Marry the Night” video: Robinson spends time on the set of Lady Gaga’s most raw and personal video to date, “Marry the Night.” It is “autobiographical,” according to Gaga, and required the grueling task of “getting ready to relive the worst day of my life.” She has never talked about it before. Prior to filming a hospital scene in which Gaga, appearing bruised and drugged up, is wheeled on a gurney into a women’s clinic, she asks Robinson and a few others in her trailer how far she should go with the re-enactment; she decides to commit to it fully. “It’s chaotic and sad. But I don’t want it to be safe,” she says.

Ugh. This girl is full of herself in the absolute worst way. I’m not entirely convinced that she has problems with relationships because people are intimidated by her mind. In fact, if I were one of Gaga’s potential suitors, I would be WAY more intimidated by her choice in footwear.