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Kristen Stewart

10Twilight on Oprah? The World Will Never Be The Same

The cast of Twlight is going to be on an upcoming episode of Oprah and a preview of the episode has just been released. What do I think? Well, in four words: God help us all. How do I feel about it? In one word: Nervous.

The screaming, the emotions, the lack of emotions from Kristen Stewart. I can imagine it all perfectly in my head and I can’t even imagine what the world will be like after literally every single television on the face of this earth will be tuned into ABC for that one hour. Think about it, all those teenagers PLUS Oprah’s already massive audience? If Oprah was smart she’d plan subliminal messages in every third second of the show. She could own us all after that one hour. Never has she been so powerful and that’s saying a lot.

May 11, 2010 at 5:53 pm by Molls

12Contrary to Popular Belief, Kristen Stewart Actually Does Give a Fuck!

Can’t you tell just by the ear-to-ear shit-eating grin?

Your girl Kristen Stewart appeared for the first time as the cover model on the June issue of Elle and while girlfriend looks moderately happy about it, she still looks uncomfortable as all holy hell. Stewart dishes on a little bit of everything during her interview with the mag and covers topics like privacy, acting, romance and her signature awkwardness. Natch.

On the madness that has become her life:

“It’s insane! Once somebody finds out, you have to get the hell out of wherever you are. People freak out. And the photographers, they’re vicious. They’re mean. They’re like thugs. I don’t event want to drive around by myself anymore. It’s fucking dangerous.”

On her loss of privacy:

“Somebody knocked on my hotel room door and asked for a light, then said that they were a big fan. I was like, ‘Do you really need me to light your cigarette? How do you know what room I’m in?’ I can’t be by myself and I like being by myself.”

On criticism of her public manner:

“I think it’s funny that when I go onstage to accept an award, they think I’m nervous, uncomfortable, and awkward—and I am—but those are bad words for them.”

On her red-carpet demeanor:

“People say that I’m miserable all the time. It’s not that I’m miserable, it’s just that somebody’s yelling at me…I literally, sometimes, have to keep myself from crying…It’s a physical reaction to the energy that’s thrown at you.”

On Team Edward vs. Team Jacob:

“I would never cheapen my relationships by talking about them. People say, ‘Just say who you’re dating. Then people will stop being so ravenous about it.’ It’s like, No they won’t! They’ll ask for specifics.”

On caring:

“I hate it when they say I don’t give a shit, because nobody cares more than I do. I’m telling you I don’t know anybody who does this that gives a shit more than I do.”

Now what, haters? Stewart finally speaks out about her put-upon sense of awkwardness (duh, it’s real!) and tells people, contrary to popular belief, she actually does give a fuck even though she pulls that “not-giving-a-fuck” thing off so damned well. Now if she’d only viscerally admit to boinking Robert Pattinson, my life might be complete.

May 6, 2010 at 7:22 am by Sarah

32Is Robert Pattinson the Biggest Liar Ever?

Rumors have been swirling around that Robert Pattinson and his girlfriend/Twilight co-star Kristen Stewart are engaged. Not only does Robert say that he and Kristen are so not engaged, he claims that they are “just friends” and that she’s a some kind of really great actress. got the scoop from R.Patz:

“This engagement thing is total bullshit, I don’t even know where it comes from. Kristen is my friend. I really like to work with her. She’s more mature than her age, a real professional, I couldn’t wish a better partner, because she makes my every move, every sentence authentic.”

Ahem. And I thought his girlfriend’s PR skills needed some work.

April 23, 2010 at 3:39 pm by Molls

35Happy Birthday, Kristen Stewart!

Twilight star and girlfriend of every middle-aged mom’s wet dream, Robert Pattinson, turns twenty today.

Amazing that this talented actress is only just two decades old and has been in the business for more than half of that time.

So, in light of the birthday girl’s special day, let’s review the highlights of her career on the very day she slithered screaming from her mother’s nether regions, shall we?

–She was locked in a fail-safe room with crazy-lady Jodie Foster in one of her first movies.

–She scared the fuck out of me with that creepy-assed movie, The Messengers. And don’t lie: it scared you, too.

–Kristen dated that creepy kid that starred in Almost Famous who never seemed to age from the waist up.

–Stewart was in Sean Penn’s adaption of Into the Wild, but I didn’t know that until I heard it blaring from the living room late one night. My television decided to turn itself on that evening. See previous accolade regarding The Messengers.

–She was caught toking it up right in public. If that doesn’t say, “Who gives a fuck”, nothing does.

–She garnered super-stardom fame from the Twilight franchise and has been a household name ever since, going on to act in the biopic of The Runaways.

–Again, girlfriend’s dating Robert Pattinson … we think — and that’s just about the height of awesome even if admitting that does make me sound like a forty-something soccer mom or worse, a ten year-old screamer.

I bend to your supreme awesomeness, Kristen, and wish you many happy years ahead. I have a feeling we’re going to be seeing quite a bit of you in the future one way or another.

April 9, 2010 at 7:52 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Kristen Stewart


“She was 15, and I wasn’t allowed to grope her. I’m actually not kidding, there are major restrictions that I don’t remember from when I was younger.”

-Kristen Stewart, talking about her kissing scene with Dakota Fanning in The Runaways.

(Sorry for three Kristen Stewart posts in a row. I guess she’s just that fascinating.)

March 13, 2010 at 9:35 am by Molls

17Kristen Stewart Talks About Hosting SNL

Oh, boy … I can’t wait to spend an entire hour with awkward pauses and incoherent mumbles in a live setting!

Stewart claims that although producers haven’t asked her to host, she’d still beg anyway probably do it in a heartbeat, although she doesn’t think the majority of guest stars are all that funny and compares herself to them:

“I would love to say yes for sure, but that is really really scary.  I am so critical of myself and then also of people who are on the show. It’s like, ‘Nope, you’re not funny—next!’”

I don’t hate Kristen Stewart — quite the contrary.  I kind of think she’s super-cool.  However … her “too cool for school” attitude has to give a little bit.  It worked well for her for the first few months of her uber-spotlight shit show, but it’s starting to wear thin now.  Smile a bit more, take a few classes on public speaking and then — then! — consider SNL.  I think it’d be a pretty ill career move to do a live taping when you can’t even interview without chewing on the strings of your vintage-sixteen-days’-unwashed-hoodie strings.

Much love for you, girlfriend, but I don’t think you’re quite ripe for Betty White-caliber fame just yet.

March 12, 2010 at 7:44 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Kristen Stewart