You ruin lives, Twilight. Did you know that? With your sparkling men and your lip-biting ladies, you destroy precious lives. I hope you can sleep at night.
Oh, you didn’t do anything wrong? You’re just a harmless book series that was made into a harmless movie series that has no real, serious impact on people’s lives? You know so little of your power, Twilight. So, so little.
Why, just this past Saturday, you changed a girl’s life forever. You could have killed her, do you realize that? And don’t give me that “people are in charge of their own choices and they have to live with those consequences” claptrap, because I don’t want to hear it. Little Olivia from Illinois, a girl of just 18 years of age, was arrested after police found her car in a ditch. The girl “was driving with no right front tire and was extremely intoxicated,” and do you want to know why? Do you want to know why this girl was upset enough to get completely trashed and drive her car with three tires into a ditch?
Because she was mad at her boyfriend because he didn’t take her to see Breaking Dawn like he promised.
So the next time you want to parade around thinking that you don’t have the ability to change lives, I want you to take a moment to consider this tale, Twilight. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll be a little more careful next time.
“She just turned 21. She’s a child. When I think about myself at 21, I had just done The Devil’s Advocate, and Keanu [Reeves] had paparazzi following him and Al Pacino said this thing to me: ‘If I knew that my life would be under this kind of scrutiny, I would have never become an actor.’?” And I thought, Wow. I couldn’t comprehend it. And Kristen is just living this to the max and still has a sense of humor about it. There’s this really lovely quality about her that just doesn’t give a f*ck. A lot of people say they don’t, but then they go home and cry and pop a Xanax. Kristen actually doesn’t give a f*ck. That’s what’s so refreshing about her. I’m looking forward to killing her and taking her beauty. That’s what happens, right?”
Have I mentioned how beautiful and perfect Charlize Theron is lately? Because she really, really is. However, the idea that Charlize would actually suggest, however jokingly, that she wants to kill Kristen Stewart to take her beauty is appalling to me. I’m not saying that Kristen isn’t pretty, because of course she is, but … it’s Charlize Theron …
Anyway, I guess the end result here is probably going to be +1 for Kristen Stewart. To those who said Stewart couldn’t act her way out of a bag? Pshaw. Apparently casting directors of Snow White and the Huntsman think otherwise, huh? Huh?
“I’m not one of those actresses that maniacally prepare themselves for a role. On set, I do whatever I need to do, but day after the day. If I have to improvise, I improvise, if I have to learn my lines by heart, I do it. There are certain screenplays which are so beautiful, that they only need to be repeated as they are, without any changes. I live in the moment.”
Now, I could be misinterpreting Kristen here, but it sounds to me like she just admitted that her “acting style” consists of not doing any work and sometimes learning her lines. And I don’t think that’s ok. I mean, I know that Kristen Stewart is a wildly popular actress (which, by the way, says nothing about her talent or, in this case, the lack thereof), but I got my B.A. in acting, and I know a whole lot of professional actors, and not a one of them would find that little tidbit acceptable*.
The moral of the story, Kristen, is that maybe you should consider taking a few acting classes. It’s too late for poor Bella Swan, but maybe some other deserving character could benefit from it.
*Professional theatre actors, you guys, I’m not trying to name drop or sound fancy.
You know, I love Kristen Stewart. I really, really do. I’m not quite sure why, as she’s kind of bland and dry and looks like she’s in pain a lot of the time (I can imagine hanging out with her would be like hanging out with that one grandmother with all the bed sores who’s strung out on pain meds all the time and has nothing good to say about conditions in her assisted living facility), but I think she’s pretty awesome on the whole. I just get along with those crotchety-grandma types, I suppose.
This look, however? I am not – not – not loving this look. I know it’s supposed to be “haute couture” and what not, and it’s not supposed to be all cutesy and frilly and pink and “Kristen looks sooooo pretty!” but this? Eeyh. It looks like something even Lady Gaga would discard, and that’s truly the sign of a spoiled dress.
I know, there are a lot of names up there in that headline that you might not care about or that you might actively loathe. But that’s not my problem. You’re going to hear about this rumor anyway.
You guys know about Ashley Greene, right? She’s that girl up there next to Robert Pattinson. She plays Alice, Edward’s psychic sister, in the Twilight movies, she had some nude pictures out a couple years back, and she’s also a general douche canoe. And you already know about Robert and Kristen Stewart. Now let me tell you about the love triangle!
Kristen and Rob are, of course, very much in love. But Kristen is busy filming cool new movies while Rob cavorts around with Ashley Greene to promote Breaking Dawn. The result? Rob has no choice but to sex up little Ashley Greene, or, to be specific, to sex her up so loud in their hotel that someone made a complaint to management. At least that’s the rumor.
What do you guys think? Check out that picture above one more time: does that look like a picture of two folks who also happen to be banging, or is Robert too devoted to Kristen for this?
“On a particular level, it’s entirely true that it’s the most important scene in the whole movie, but obviously it goes without saying it’s been built up at this point to an insane degree… It’s funny, because in the book, you don’t see anything. It’s everyone’s imagination, so it’s entirely subjective. I hope it’s good! There are two big sex scenes in the two [final] films, and we did them fairly early. It was so weird, it didn’t even feel like we were doing a scene with a Twilight film. I was like, ‘Bella! What are you doing? Wow! What is happening here?!’ It was very surreal. We [originally] got rated R. The recut it.”
“… When I was doing prep for Breaking Dawn, I suddenly realized, ‘This is SO not On The Road. People definitely want to see you looking trim.’ Usually we’re all making fun of Taylor Lautner for working out so often, and then suddenly me and Rob [Pattinson] were like, ‘Shit!’ and were running around the block while Taylor laughed at us.”
On whether she prefers Americans or Brits:
“Well, I’m kind of repulsed by jocks from anywhere, so I have to go with the [Brits].”
On her personal style:
‘There’s something about wearing jeans, trainers and a sloppy t-shirt everywhere you go that seems very southern California to me. I love choosing stuff to wear, and my publicist always calls and asks, ‘Do you wanna do something like [go to a fashion show?]‘ And, if I’m not busy, I’m definitely interested. I’m going to one thing [soon]… either Burberry or Mulberry, I’m not sure.’
Could this bitch be any more blasé-cool? I’m thinking “no.”