Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kristen Stewart

Oh Dear God: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Broke Up?!

A photo of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart

If this is true, then I can’t. I just can’t. I can’t believe in true love, I can’t even believe in happiness. I can’t even believe in myself. Without the love of R-Patz and K-Stew in the world, then what will become of us all?

Before I get myself too worked up again, here’s the story from the National Enquirer:

“Just two days after the couple was inducted into Hollywood’s legendary Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, Robert – who’d been having second thoughts about their relationship – hit Kristen with the news that he’s ending it. They kept on smiling at the Los Angeles premiere but Robert was an emotional wreck – and so was Kristen, who never saw the breakup coming. Explaining his reasoning, Rob told Kristen he adores her, but feels that their romance blossomed only because they’d been thrown together as on-screen lovers for nearly four years. Rob felt it was time to explore other relationships and move on.”

Even though Kristen’s devastated, the source added, she knows they’ve got to put on happy faces to promote “Breaking Dawn” – and the sequel next year.

I refuse to believe that this is true. One, because if it is true, then I would be so utterly devastated, and two, Robert would never break up with Kristen. He’s too much of a sensitive little flower to do that. No, if these two were to break up in reality, it would be all Kristen, and it would be so, so heartbreaking.

What do you guys think: are these guys still the picture of true romance or what?

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Look Really Happy to be on a Date

photo of robert pattinson and kristen stewart pictures
You know what the best thing is about this couple? That they’re absolutely no pretension or confusion as to who they are. They fulfill their red carpet obligations and act in the movies that their agents see as good fits, and they say all of the words that their fans are dying to hear. Another best thing? They’re completely normal folks, just like you and I. They don’t gussy themselves all up to go to dinner or to a movie, or even for a quiet stroll down the street, and they still appear to be happy together. They’re totally not doing this for the publicity, and they’re not afraid to be photographed unwashed. That might be the best part of these guys, and that’s no lie.

Are You Proud of Yourself, Twilight?

You ruin lives, Twilight. Did you know that? With your sparkling men and your lip-biting ladies, you destroy precious lives. I hope you can sleep at night.

Oh, you didn’t do anything wrong? You’re just a harmless book series that was made into a harmless movie series that has no real, serious impact on people’s lives? You know so little of your power, Twilight. So, so little.

Why, just this past Saturday, you changed a girl’s life forever. You could have killed her, do you realize that? And don’t give me that “people are in charge of their own choices and they have to live with those consequences” claptrap, because I don’t want to hear it. Little Olivia from Illinois, a girl of just 18 years of age, was arrested after police found her car in a ditch. The girl “was driving with no right front tire and was extremely intoxicated,” and do you want to know why? Do you want to know why this girl was upset enough to get completely trashed and drive her car with three tires into a ditch?

Because she was mad at her boyfriend because he didn’t take her to see Breaking Dawn like he promised.

So the next time you want to parade around thinking that you don’t have the ability to change lives, I want you to take a moment to consider this tale, Twilight. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll be a little more careful next time.

Quotables: Charlize Theron Wants to Kill Kristen Stewart

A photo of Charlize Theron

“She just turned 21. She’s a child. When I think about myself at 21, I had just done The Devil’s Advocate, and Keanu [Reeves] had paparazzi following him and Al Pacino said this thing to me: ‘If I knew that my life would be under this kind of scrutiny, I would have never become an actor.’?” And I thought, Wow. I couldn’t comprehend it. And Kristen is just living this to the max and still has a sense of humor about it. There’s this really lovely quality about her that just doesn’t give a f*ck. A lot of people say they don’t, but then they go home and cry and pop a Xanax. Kristen actually doesn’t give a f*ck. That’s what’s so refreshing about her. I’m looking forward to killing her and taking her beauty. That’s what happens, right?”

- Charlize Theron describes her love and admiration and plans for the eventual murder of Kristen Stewart to Vogue.

Have I mentioned how beautiful and perfect Charlize Theron is lately? Because she really, really is. However, the idea that Charlize would actually suggest, however jokingly, that she wants to kill Kristen Stewart to take her beauty is appalling to me. I’m not saying that Kristen isn’t pretty, because of course she is, but … it’s Charlize Theron …

Who's prettier?
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It’s the Official Trailer for Snow White and the Huntsman!

So I did a lot of joking around leading up to the premiere of this trailer, but guys? After watching it? I think it actually looks pretty awesome. Plus, it’s being done by those who did Alice in Wonderland, and I thought that movie was pretty fab also, so I’m *probably* going to be tickled pink when this movie finally does come out. And I see it. Eventually.

Anyway, I guess the end result here is probably going to be +1 for Kristen Stewart. To those who said Stewart couldn’t act her way out of a bag? Pshaw. Apparently casting directors of Snow White and the Huntsman think otherwise, huh? Huh?

Are you all as pleasantly surprised as I am?

Quotables: Kristen Stewart’s Guide to Acting!

A photo of Kristen Stewart

“I’m not one of those actresses that maniacally prepare themselves for a role. On set, I do whatever I need to do, but day after the day. If I have to improvise, I improvise, if I have to learn my lines by heart, I do it. There are certain screenplays which are so beautiful, that they only need to be repeated as they are, without any changes. I live in the moment.”

- Kristen Stewart explains to Vogue Italia the intricacies of her acting style.

Now, I could be misinterpreting Kristen here, but it sounds to me like she just admitted that her “acting style” consists of not doing any work and sometimes learning her lines. And I don’t think that’s ok. I mean, I know that Kristen Stewart is a wildly popular actress (which, by the way, says nothing about her talent or, in this case, the lack thereof), but I got my B.A. in acting, and I know a whole lot of professional actors, and not a one of them would find that little tidbit acceptable*.

The moral of the story, Kristen, is that maybe you should consider taking a few acting classes. It’s too late for poor Bella Swan, but maybe some other deserving character could benefit from it.

*Professional theatre actors, you guys, I’m not trying to name drop or sound fancy.

Love It or Leave It: Kristen Stewart’s Weird Dress

photo of kristen stewart vogue italia pictures photos
You know, I love Kristen Stewart. I really, really do. I’m not quite sure why, as she’s kind of bland and dry and looks like she’s in pain a lot of the time (I can imagine hanging out with her would be like hanging out with that one grandmother with all the bed sores who’s strung out on pain meds all the time and has nothing good to say about conditions in her assisted living facility), but I think she’s pretty awesome on the whole. I just get along with those crotchety-grandma types, I suppose.

This look, however? I am not – not – not loving this look. I know it’s supposed to be “haute couture” and what not, and it’s not supposed to be all cutesy and frilly and pink and “Kristen looks sooooo pretty!” but this? Eeyh. It looks like something even Lady Gaga would discard, and that’s truly the sign of a spoiled dress.

Image courtesy of Vogue Italia