Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kristen Stewart

Kristen Stewart Will Show Her Face in September

A photo of Kristen Stewart

And not a moment before, so you vultures keep your claws to yourself for the rest of the month, you hear?

But hey, you know how Kristen Stewart has kept to herself for the past month or so? Well, there was that one time that she was photographed looking like a sad mess right after the news of that whole cheating scandal broke, but besides that, she’s apparently just been hanging out somewhere eating her feelings. She’s even been skipping out on her promotional duties for that On the Road movie, which is probably for the best if she’s not been showering since this whole thing started.

But come September 6th, Kristen will clean herself up (maybe), put down the ice cream (possibly), and head on up to Toronto for the International Film Festival so she can finally start pumping everyone up for that movie. And I am worried.

I know that Kristen can’t stay inside forever, and I wouldn’t want her to give up her movie career over this – maybe I’d want her to give it up for the fact that she can’t act, but not for this – but I am so concerned for her. I still don’t think that “everyone makes mistakes she’s just 22 she’s just a kid blah blah excuses excuses,” but as I’ve said so many times now, she doesn’t deserve all the hate that she’s getting, and I just feel like she’s going to get so much hate in Toronto. I don’t think she’ll get chased by a mob with pitchforks or anything, but I believe it would just take one bad word or even a glare to break this girl down. Maybe all the reports are wrong, but she just seems so fragile right now. Like, I think the wind could blow her way and she’d start crying and sobbing “god hates me, god hates me.”

So even though I’m not a fan, and even though I’ll never understand how she could stray from the glory of Robert Pattinson, let’s all wish this girl well for her big appearance, all right?

Kristen Stewart is Blowing Robert Pattinson’s Phone Up

Because come on, she’s in hiding and doing nothing but eating ice cream, smoking cigarettes, and not showering, so what else does she have left to do these days?

Sources are reporting that Kristen is constantly texting her estranged lover, Robert Pattinson, claiming that she’s “so in love” with him and that “he’s the only one” for her.

The same sources are also saying that Robert really isn’t doing a whole lot to quell Kristen’s regrets, and he isn’t responding to her calls, texts, and handwritten letters. And because of that, I’m starting to wonder about boyfriend’s motives. Yeah, I can’t really fathom how I’d act if someone I loved went behind my back and did the ultimate no-f-cking way behind my back, but if my loved one were frantically trying to contact me, whether it be for apologies, words of kindness, or otherwise motives to reconcile the relationship, I don’t think I’d be leaving them hanging out there for too long one way or the other, no matter what I decided to do.

If this is all true, it’s like, shit or get off the pot, Rob. I’m really, really sorry that you had to go through this, because you seem like a solid guy who really care(d) about his girlfriend, but you need to reach back out and do something about all of this incessant-contacting nonsense. If you want to be with her, work it out and be with her. If you don’t, then don’t keep dragging it out, and punishing yourself while you try to punish her, too. The longer this one-sided back and forth goes on, the worse things are going to be if you guys do decide to reconcile.

… And that’s my Dr. Phil moment of the day.

Kristen Stewart Is Starting to Get Angry

A photo of Kristen Stewart

From TMZ:

Kristen Stewart has publicly shown remorse over her affair with her “Snow White and the Huntsman” director, but privately she is FURIOUS she’s taking all the heat … sources directly connected with Kristen tell TMZ.

Our sources tell us … Kristen can’t believe the public isn’t painting Rupert Sanders as the bad guy.  She’s grousing that he’s 19 years her senior and was “in a position of power over her” … being a director of a movie she had just shot and presumably someone she was going to work with again.

Kristen is also incensed that she’s being called the big cheater.  Although she knows she shouldn’t have done it because she was in a committed relationship with Robert Pattinson, she feels Rupert is in a totally different and far more culpable situation, being married with 2 kids.

We’re told Kristen fears her career may be irreparably damaged — something she believes she doesn’t deserve as a 22-year-old single woman who made a stupid mistake.

Look, I’ve said this a million times: Kristen Stewart is taking all the heat for this because she’s Kristen Stewart. Rupert Sanders isn’t getting as much public hate for this because he’s Rupert Sanders. As far as I know, no one besides the Twihards believe or even claim that Kristen is more guilty than Rupert. There are just so many more reports about what she’s doing and how she’s feeling because she’s Kristen Stewart. And she gets a pass for being furious over this, because it is her name being dragged through the mud and it is her career on the line, but listen. Nobody thinks that Kristen Stewart is the worst person here. Nobody.

It’s not sexism, it’s just fame. Because Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson were an unbelievably famous couple, while the majority of us had never even heard of Rupert Sanders and Liberty Ross before this. And Kristen doesn’t deserve to be hated or shunned or fired from jobs or whatever else is happening – I think that part is sexism, and also a byproduct of the crazy Twihards – but the reporting? That’s just the fame, you guys.

Jodie Foster is Still Defending Kristen Stewart

photo of jodie foster and kristen stewart pictures
So, lots of you guys have been railing against the general public for railing against Kristen Stewart and her whole part in this affair thing, and you’re not the only one—Jodie Foster, Kristen’s long-time friend and co-worker, has come out (again) in support of Kristen, and offers a very refreshing and somewhat game-changing perspective on the whole Kristen Stewart! Cheating! Scandal! and it’s definitely worthy of the whole eleven hundred-plus characters that Foster doled out in defense of her girl Kristen.

From the Daily Beast:

We’ve all seen the headlines at the check-out counter. “Kristen Stewart Caught.” We’ve all thumbed the glossy pages here and there. “Kris and Rob a couple?” We all catch the snaps. “I like that dress. I hate the hair. Cute couple. Bad shoes.” There’s no guilt in acknowledging the human interest in public linens. It’s as old as the hills. Lift up beautiful young people like gods and then pull them down to earth to gaze at their seams. See, they’re just like us. But we seldom consider the childhoods we unknowingly destroy in the process.

I have been an actress since I was 3 years old, 46 years to date. I have no memories of a childhood outside the public eye. I am told people look to me as a success story. Often complete strangers approach me and ask, How have you stayed so normal, so well-adjusted, so private? I usually lie and say, “Just boring I guess.” The truth is, like some curious radioactive mutant, I have invented my own gothic survival tools. I have fashioned rules to control the glaring eyes. Maybe I’ve organized my career choices to allow myself (and the ones I truly love) maximum personal dignity. And, yes, I have neurotically adapted to the gladiator sport of celebrity culture, the cruelty of a life lived as a moving target. In my era, through discipline and force of will, you could still manage to reach for a star-powered career and have the authenticity of a private life. Sure, you’d have to lose your spontaneity in the elaborate architecture. You’d have to learn to submerge beneath the foul air and breathe through a straw. But at least you could stand up and say, I will not willfully participate in my own exploitation. Not anymore. If I were a young actor or actress starting my career today in the new era of social media and its sanctioned hunting season, would I survive? Would I drown myself in drugs, sex, and parties? Would I be lost?

I’ve said it before and I will say it again: if I were a young actor today I would quit before I started. If I had to grow up in this media culture, I don’t think I could survive it emotionally. I would only hope that someone who loved me, really loved me, would put their arm around me and lead me …

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Kristen Stewart Doesn’t Get to Be Snow White Anymore

A photo of Kristen Stewart

Oh man, welcome to Kristen Stewart‘s Bummer Summer. It’s just one thing after another for her, isn’t it? The latest thing? It looks like she just got fired from being Snow White in the sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman. Total bummer.

From The Hollywood Reporter:

Universal has decided to shelf its planned Snow White and the Huntsman sequel and is instead focusing on a solo Huntsman movie starring Chris Hemsworth. Kristen Stewart will not be invited to return if the follow-up goes forward.

Sources tell The Hollywood Reporter that the sequel to June’s Snow White, which starred Stewart, Hemsworth and Charlize Theron, is being reconceived as a spinoff movie. It’s unclear whether director Rupert Sanders will return, though one source with ties to the production says he will. However, screenwriter David Koepp, who had been hired to pen the continuation of the original film, is being settled out of his rich contract, according to sources, as the project is being transformed into something other than the movie that Koepp had been hired to write.

“The studio is currently exploring options to continue the franchise,” a Universal spokeswoman says.

On one hand, I get where they’re coming from with this. Everybody hates Kristen Stewart right now, and we haven’t been able to figure out if she’ll be able to make a comeback or not. I would imagine that nobody wants to be the first person to test that out. At the end of the day, it’s a business, and Kristen’s a pretty big risk right now. But on the other, more emotional hand, I think this really sucks. Especially if Rupert Sanders gets to come back and direct this movie.

But I do remember hearing that Chris Hemsworth was going to get his very own movie all about the Huntsman before the whole cheating scandal, and according to this article, it looks like the original plan was to to a true sequel to the first movie with Kristen and THEN do the Huntsman spinoff, so it’s not like they just pulled this idea out of thin air. And personally, I think I’d enjoy the Huntsman movie more than another one with Kristen.  But still, what Kristen Stewart does with her vagina shouldn’t have this big of an impact on her career.

It’s a lot to consider, isn’t it?

Was Robert Pattinson “Wallowing in Misery”? No, Because That’s “Weird”

According to him, in a word, ‘no’. Or, if you liked the Jon Stewart show‘s Robert Pattinson, a fitful of giggles.

No, I don’t think Robert Pattinson‘s been wallowing in anything other than maybe sympathy p-ssy, and especially not misery.

HLN’s ‘Showbiz Tonight’, Robert was peppered with questions about his alleged breakup with Kristen Stewart, citing that all of the rumors are “weird,” but neither affirming or negating whether or not these two knuckleheads have, indeed, broken up. Rob said, “Since the first ‘Twilight’ you enter this kind of realm where … you get stuff reported about you, and it’s weird.”

Well, no, now, I don’t necessarily know that it’s “weird,” but it’s definitely, definitely intriguing. Like, tomorrow’s interview with ‘Good Morning America’? Can you imagine just how giggly and weird that’s going to be? God how I love this man.

New BFF Alert: Lindsay Lohan and Kristen Stewart!

A photo of Lindsay Lohan and Kristen Stewart

Let’s get through the facts first, all right, then we can discuss. Here’s what happened: there was a surfing contest last Thursday, and Lindsay Lohan and Kristen Stewart were both there. It looks like Kristen’s brother is into surfing, and I guess he was competing, but I have no idea why Lindsay was there. Surfers aren’t really known for being into meth, are they?

But anyway, the two ladies ran into each other again at a house party later that night. And that’s it. That’s where the story ends. Lindsay Lohan and Kristen Stewart were seen at a surfing contest and also a house party, and that’s all we know. So it’s up to us to fill in the blanks.

I imagine that Lindsay was just being Lindsay, wandering around aimlessly with her titties floppin’ every which way. But Kristen, she’s trying desperately to feel better, to feel normal, to feel something. She tried hanging out with her brother, but when that didn’t help, she found herself at some random house party, where she saw Lindsay Lohan. Kristen, being a human being with ears, had heard that Lindsay is all about the meth these days, and she thought maybe, just maybe, that Lindsay could help her numb the pain.

Or, for the more visual readers out there, Lindsay and Kristen were at the same party, and Kristen was like this:

A photo of Kristen Stewart

And Lindsay saw her from across the room, and she roared her terrible roar and gnashed her terrible teeth, which looks like this:

And Kristen saw oodles and oodles of tiny pebbles fall out of Lindsay’s floppin’ lips, and when she moved closer, she saw that they weren’t pebbles at all, but little rocks of meth! So she looked up at Lindsay in wonder, which looks like this:

Lindsay told Kristen she could have some, but only if she promised to let her be a vampire in the next Twilight movie. When Kristen told her that there weren’t going to be anymore Twilight movies, Lindsay did this:

Kristen got scared and told Lindsay that they’d do another movie, just for her, and she perked up. She tucked her lips back in, ran to the bathroom, and came out looking like this:

Kristen didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so she just decided to nibble on the meth pebbles that had fallen from Lindsay’s maw. And that’s what happened last Thursday night. Isn’t gossip fun?!