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Kristen Stewart

1Kristen Stewart’s Orange Hair: Hell Yes Or God No?

Kristen Stewart got herself some orange locks — but don’t worry, it’s only for a film role, for American Ultra. The salon posted the above photo on Instagram and captioned it, “Kristen Stewart gettin her hair ready for a new role!#americamultra#awesomecolor#houseofhair”. Yes, they typo’d “American Ultra” in their hashtag, replacing the “n” with an “m”.

So what do we think of this look: is it a “hell, yes” or a “God, no”? Personally, I don’t think it’s nearly as awful as her poetry. BOOM!

If KStew had her way, she’d have a shaved head covered with tattoos. Seeing as she’s the new face of Chanel, that won’t happen for quite some time.

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April 6, 2014 at 8:30 am by Catherine St. Ives
Filed Under: Kristen Stewart

10Kristen Stewart Wrote This “Embarrassing” Poem

kristen stewart

So, Kristen Stewart is apparently more than just an actress – she’s also an amateur poet and all-around artiste, and decided to share her “embarrassing” creation in the new issue of Marie Claire. Like, she literally recited this word for word despite the “it’s awful” front. It’s called “My Heart Is a Wiffleball / Freedom Pole” and… what?!

Here it is in all its beauty:

I reared digital moonlight
You read its clock, scrawled neon across that black
Kismetly … ubiquitously crest fallen
Thrown down to strafe your foothills
…I’ll suck the bones pretty.

Your nature perforated the abrasive organ pumps
Spray painted everything known to man,
Stream rushed through and all out into
Something Whilst the crackling stare down sun snuck
Through our windows boarded up
He hit your flint face and it sparked.

And I bellowed and you parked
We reached Marfa.
One honest day up on this freedom pole
Devils not done digging
He’s speaking in tongues all along the pan handle
And this pining erosion is getting dust in
My eyes

And I’m drunk on your morsels
And so I look down the line
Your every twitch hand drum salute
Salutes mine…

I mean, I suppose I’ve seen worse… not much worse, but I know it exists out there.

I’m not sure what the point was in sharing this, as I imagine she wrote it as a more personal thing to get out whatever was going on in that head of hers. Oh man, do you guys think this is about RUPERT??? She mentioned parking somewhere, and we KNOW what went down (so to speak) there. Uh, way to throw it in Rob‘s face, Kristen. WHERE’S HIS POETRY?

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February 12, 2014 at 11:30 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Kristen Stewart

5Kristen Stewart Wants to Shave and Tattoo Her Head

kristen stewart 4

Kristen Stewart, the totally straight and not at all a lesbian actress who refuses to smile in pictures (LOVE YOU, KSTEW!), has made a revelation to the press: she wants to shave her head before she dies and get tattoos all over her bald ass scalp. Of course, she can’t really do that at the moment because she’s a very Serious Actor, but she plans to make her dreams come true one day before she dies.

From Into the Gloss:

If I wasn’t an actor, I would definitely do things to my hair. I would cut it more, I would dye it more. At some point I want to do a total boy cut, completely—not a pretty, girly version—like a straight up James Dean haircut. And then, I’m definitely going to shave my head before I die. I will definitely tattoo my head while it’s shaved before my hair grows back. I’m not sure which part, probably the bottom quadrant in the back. I don’t know what the tattoo would be, yet. Still thinking.

Fair enough, girl. I’ve always had a little bit of a thing for KStew, to be honest – I sorta think she’s a total babe when she’s not shoved into a dress and all of that haute couture shit. Her skinny jeans and Chucks look works for me. I like that she’s such a sourpuss and has that incredible ennui that hits you in your late teens/early 20s. She just doesn’t give a fuck, no matter what she’s doing, and I find that sort of enjoyable… at least for now. However, I don’t know that I would get behind a bald, scalp-tattooed KStew. Luckily, that’s not something we have to confront just yet. And anyway, do your thing, Kristen.

Here’s a little more on her fashion sense:

If you looked at pictures of me when I was 14 or 15, you couldn’t tell the difference between me and my brothers. I looked like a boy, fully. I really like extremes. I wear jeans and t-shirts and am a total tomboy, but at the same time, when I pull out all the stops [for an event], I want to fucking go for it, polarized in the other direction from my reality. Everything Balenciaga makes is beautiful; watching their runway shows is like watching a movie. But wearing it is not the easiest thing. It’s tough to integrate that type of thing into your life. But when you can do it—wear something unexpected, with your personal style—it’s incredibly badass.

Huh. Cool. Side note: what the hell is up with these pics? I know we’re not talking about Vogue here, but it looks like they were shot on one of those Walgreen’s disposable cameras. I suppose that makes them seem more “candid”.

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January 26, 2014 at 8:30 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Kristen Stewart

2Kristen Stewart is the New Face of Chanel

kristen stewart chanel

Kristen Stewart has somehow become somewhat of a “fashion darling” in that designers totally aren’t put off by her constant sourpuss face and actually think it works and is very, I dunno, haute couture or something. Chanel must’ve felt the same, because they’ve hired her to be the new face of the brand.

Karl Lagerfeld apparently hand-picked Stewart for his Métiers d’Art Paris-Dallas collection which is expected to launch in May 2014. In fact, Kristen actually showed up to Chanel’s Coco Chanel Métiers d’Art Fashion Show in Dallas on Tuesday night, when the news was announced. Well, this should be interesting.

Here’s what a “friend” of Stewart’s told Hollywood Life:

“Kristen is a huge fan of Mr. Lagerfeld and was honored to be invited to such an extraordinary fashion event. She loves his style and quirky sense of humor. He gets her and she loves him for that.”

And I bet she loves the massive paycheck the brand will be giving her. That sorta helps too, eh?

I will say that I think Kristen suits doing some modeling work. However, Chanel wouldn’t be even in the top ten design houses I’d have expected her to join up with. She’s more Rodarte, McQueen, something a bit edgier. Poor Coco, she’s probably rolling over in her grave.

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December 11, 2013 at 7:30 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Kristen Stewart

5Kristen Stewart Spent 15 Minutes with a Middle Eastern Prince For $500,000

kristen stewart

I… don’t know how to feel about this. Apparently a Middle Eastern prince was willing to pay $500,000 to spend 15 minutes with Kristen Stewart. She had Harvey Weinstein broker the deal and the proceeds went to Hurricane Sandy relief, but… what?!

Apparently the unnamed prince paid the sum up front and the pair met up at Madison Square Garden, but what in the hell did he want 15 minutes with her for? What did they do during that 15 minutes? It all just seems very, very bizarre. I mean, good for Harvey Weinstein for being a pimp and raising $30 million for the relief efforts (via performances for his 12.12.12 documentary), but I’m just so weirded out by this.

I don’t mind KStew, but I think we all know she isn’t winning any Personality of the Year awards, which makes it all the more confusing that this guy wanted to spend 15 minutes with her. I would imagine 5 minutes with Kristen Stewart feels like an eternity. What could they have talked about? Going back to college? Before you all start saying she was basically a high-end escort, stop. Everyone else was already thinking it, I’m pretty sure.

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September 12, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Jennifer

0What Was The Biggest Event Of The Summer? VOTE!

MET GALA 2013 Though summer’s technically not over, I think it’s time to take a look back at everything that happened these summer months. There was a LOT. What do you think was the most shocking? The most WTF? The best fashion moment? Let’s vote!
 

Which birth was the bigger deal?
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Most Shocking?
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Biggest WTF?
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Best Celeb Fight?
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Best Fashion Moment?
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Lady Gaga is back. Are you excited?
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Who was more annoying this summer?
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In case you need a refresher, here are some links to these stories:   (more…)

September 3, 2013 at 3:52 pm by Catherine St. Ives
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