Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kris Jenner

Khloe Kardashian Blabs About Her Mom’s Marriage On Jay Leno

khloe kardashian with bruce jenner at  a pet store in bel air

Khloe Kardashian doesn’t do anything interesting. When she does something semi-interesting, she’s fired from it. So really she has nothing to talk about when she’s on a talk show, which is probably why she decided to discuss her mom’s questionable marriage to anime character Bruce Jenner. Who am I kidding, Kris probably demanded she talk about it. Kris needs any kind of publicity she can get for her up-and-coming yet soon-to-be-cancelled talk show.

So Khloe got on Leno’s show and hinted that maybe Kris and Bruce aren’t totally happily married. From US Weekly:

Well, they’re [Bruce and Kris] not having problems but they still like to live apart, which is definitely different. In my house, there is a man room for Lamar. A room, not a different house. I think they took my idea and ran with it and they got another house. Bruce stays there sometimes.

And Bruce will now stay there all the time after hearing Kris’ least favorite money maker talk about this on TV. Mr. Jenner hasn’t been having the best of times with talk shows lately. He recently freaked out on Jimmy Fallon, feeling that Fallon made one too many plastic surgery jokes at Jenner’s expense.

Khloe goes on, trying to clarify:

It’s in the same state, a different city. I’m not for that, but you know, to each their own. I don’t compare relationships. I just think a little too much time apart maybe isn’t the best thing. They’re like, ‘Don’t judge us. We’ve been married [22] years. I’m like, ‘I know people that have been married longer that still live together.’

LOL shut up, Khloe. Who the hell do you know who has been married for more than 22 years? Years, Khloe. Not days. Years.

OH GOD, There’s Going To Be A Kardashian Family Porn Spoof

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Sometimes, bad things happen to good people in this life. The “good people” in this situation are THE ENTIRE WORLD because apparently we’re going to have to endure a Kardashian family porn spoof. Why God why? Kim, Khloe and Kourtney – and yes, momager Kris, too – will all be portrayed by actors and will go at it with… each other? I don’t even know.

From TMZ:

It’s the closest thing to a Kardashian family sex tape you’ll ever get … a K-fam porn spoof — and everyone from Kim to Kris … and even Khloe are getting the XXX treatment.

TMZ has learned … porn star Kiara Mia — star of “Bra Busters 4″ and “Shrimp Fried P****” — is taking on the Kardashian fam in her directorial debut … a parody of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.”

We’re told there are no plans to mock Kim’s infamous sex tape with Ray J in the film — but a Ray-J-alike will make an appearance during a sex scene between not-Kim and not-Kanye.

A porn star playing a porn star — doesn’t get more meta than that.

I mean, in a sense, I guess I’m surprised that this didn’t exist already. But I guess considering Kim made her name (and the entire family’s, for that matter) on an ACTUAL sex tape. Nevertheless, this whole thing sort of makes me want to throw up in my mouth a bit. I know some of you pervs will download it, though.

Live From New York, It’s A Kanye/Kardashian Fight!

kardashians kanye west

Kanye West is getting real sick of his extended Kardashian family — WELCOME TO EARTH!!! Mr. West performed on Saturday Night Live May 18 and things seemed to go well despite a classic Kanye rant a few days prior about how he’s not doing any “mothaf-cking SNL skits“. But apparently there was drama; it was just all backstage, where we couldn’t see. Here’s an exclusive from Diary Of A Hollywood Street King:

An insider says the arguing match between the trio all stemmed from Yeezus discovering Kris and Kim were secretly selling images of him and Kim, behind his back. That’s before we’re told Kayne began cussing Kim out, in front of SNL’s cast and crew, while Kris Jenner was being escorted out.

Here’s what an insider had to say:

“Kanye was an asshole and he was being very standoffish to everyone there. Lorne Michaels will never invite him back. Backstage Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian with Kanye and his bodyguards and basically hovering over him while they scream and yell. The whole cast fled out of the way and security had to be called.

Kim was crying and Kris was basically being carried away by security. Chris Rock tried to step in but Kanye just brushed him to the side and was like ‘Man! this is nothing.’ Kris was raving and screaming the whole time and she felt bad for Kim.”

Can you really blame him? I STILL think that Justin Bieber is the bigger SNL douche. So, to quote Kanye, “Let’s have a toast to the douchebags.”

As for Lorne Michaels banishing Kanye…not sure if this will really happen. Kanye didn’t actually wreck the show or do anything while on stage. I think it’s more likely that the Kardashians will be the banned ones, although I doubt Kanye OR Kim & Co. will ever want to go back to SNL. You may remember in 2010 Kanye performed “Power” on SNL, which includes the lyric, “F-ck SNL and the whole cast” — and Kanye changed that line just for the show. He even tweeted,

25 Minutes to dress rehearsal … Just saw Lorne Michaels … uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum …. Akwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard LOL!

Best of luck with all future endeavors, Kanye.

Oh, This Should Be Good: Kim Kardashian Will Use Mothering Skills Learned From Kris Jenner

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Kim Kardashian isn’t expected to be a good mother by anyone’s stretch of imagination, but prepare for your percentage of faith to plummet into the triple negative digits when you realise that she’s going to be approaching motherhood using skills learned from… Kris Jenner. Momager extraordinaire Kris is the most batshit insane parent on TV and probably one of the most batshit insane off-screen, as well. Of all the adjectives to describe her parenting style, I don’t know that “good” would come in the Top 100. And yet…

Let us have it, Kimmy’s blog:

Mother’s Day is one of my favorite holidays because it’s a special day to honor my role model and best friend. As I’m counting the days until I finally get to be a mother, I’m a bit nervous and anxious but also excited knowing that I learned from the very best. My mom is a strong and ambitious career woman that despite her busy schedule and the millions of things she has going on, she still manages to put family first and continues to look out for us every day. Motherhood is a gift and I know after watching my mom do it, it’s not easy especially when trying to balance a career. I’m honored to follow in her footsteps and make her proud like I am of her.

Oh dear… Kim also says she’ll look to sister Kourtney for some help, which is, I suppose, fractionally better, but not by much. She hasn’t even given birth to this kid yet and it’s already shaping up to be a disaster. Her perfect romance with Kanye going awry? Check. Momager Kris trying to take over the whole affair? Check. Kim WANTING her to? Lord help us all.

Kanye West Wants His Baby to Be French, Kim Kardashian Not So Much

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Ah, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West – a love story for the ages! Kim’s going to be popping out Kanye’s progeny any day now, and it’s terrifying to think of these two as parents. Turns out if Kanye had his way, we wouldn’t even HAVE to think about them, because they’d be raising baby Kimye in Paris as a sophisticated French kid – something Kim is trying to put a stop to.

From Life & Style:

Life & Style can reveal that although Kim wants her kid to be born in LA, a source close to the Kardashian family dishes, “Kanye wants the baby born in Paris,” explaining, “He would love the baby to have dual citizenship.”

“Kanye is absolutely insistent that the baby will be raised in France, but Kim’s refusing to let that happen,” the insider details in the new issue of Life & Style, on newsstands now. “It’s so important for her to be near her family and have the baby grow up around its aunts, uncles and cousins. There’s no way she’ll stop fighting Kanye on this.”

Despite Kanye’s luxe Parisian penthouse the couple could be living in, the insider says of their previous agreed upon arrangement, “They were supposed to spend just three months in Paris. Now he wants to move them permanently to Paris.”

This is Life & Style we’re talking about, so chances are this story had as much thought put into it as a fart. Still, Kanye might just be that insane. Too bad we’ll never know, because Kris Jenner will NOT BE HAVING THAT.

And while Kanye is pushing for his first child to be raised abroad — reportedly a baby girl due in July — Kim has taken measures into her own hands. “Kim is against the idea and wants the baby born in LA with the family doctor who delivered Mason and Penelope,” the source tells Life & Style.

A family friend says Kim, has a strong ally on her side in momager Kris Jenner. “Kris is adamant that this happens and has already reserved the suite at Cedars and paid the deposit.”

But if Kanye knows what’s best, he’ll take this one as a loss. “Kanye isn’t happy,” the insider says. “But he doesn’t think he can win this one.”

Kanye’s ego may have the power of the Abominable Snowman, but it’s no match for the monster that is momager Kris. Doesn’t he know this by now?

Khloe Kardashian Admits What We All Knew: Kim Is Kris Jenner’s Favorite Daughter

khloe kardashian cosmo 2

They say when you have multiple children that you should (and usually do) love them all equally, though in different ways. I imagine this unspoken rule is null and void, though when one of your kids puts out a sex tape that puts your entire family on the map and manages to pull in more money for you in a week than your other kids do in a year, combined. Such is the case with Kris Jenner and her brood – Khloe, Kim, Kourtney, Kendall, Kylie… and Rob. We like to forget about Rob whenever we can.

Khloe Kardashian appears on the cover of the new issue of Cosmopolitan, and her interview is… vaguely depressing. It’s probably meant to be enlightening, but it’s pretty obvious that momager Kris favours Kim over the other girls. You gotta treat your cash cow right, don’t you?

“I’d never manage my kids. We gang up on Mom and that has to be so hard. Now I’m getting older I feel sorry for her rather than resent her.

“[Once my mom told me] I was gaining weight, but she was talking to me as a manager, like I was ruining a brand deal. It’s hard to understand that and it’s more hurtful when it’s coming from my mom, but Kim is definitely her favorite.

“It doesn’t bother me. They’re so similar – they could be the same person.”

I know it seems like she doth protest too much (and seriously, who WOULDN’T care if your siblings were favoured over you?), but maybe since it’s Kris, Khloe is being honest here. After all, the most attention Kris has ever given her was when she was begging her to take a DNA test to find out whether or not she was actually  a Kardashian or a by-product of her old ass affair. This whole family just needs to stop.

Khloe Kardashian’s Too Busy for ‘The X Factor’, Says Worst Liar (and Mother) Kris Jenner

khloe kardashian

Khloe Kardashian was sacked from The X Factor earlier this week, and we all know why: she sucked at hosting. It’s just that simple. Well, that and her mother Kris Jenner kept sticking her nose in where it didn’t belong and was harassing Simon Cowell to fire Mario Lopez (who also sucks, but at least he still has a job).

Anyway, instead of letting Khloe be fired with dignity, Kris is still flapping her gums and in the process making herself and Khloe look even worse, claiming that Khloe doesn’t have time to host The X Factor because she has so much else going on in her life. Oooookay.

From E! News:

“Khloé had such a good time and she wasn’t sure if she was going to come back or not, so I think that with everything going on and the other three shows she’s working on, it just worked out for the best,” Kris tells us of Khloé’s departure from the Fox show. “Everything happens for a reason, but she was in love with her experience and had such a good time.”

And Kris had nothing but kind words for the X Factor team, saying, “I hope everyone continues to watch and it’s such a great show. I’m sure they’ll be just fine!”

God, what’s wrong with people, specifically the Kardashians/Jenners? Everything does happen for a reason, though, Kris is right. For example, your daughter got fired from a shitty TV show because she was terrible at it and because you couldn’t stop interfering and acting like anyone cares what you think, like, ever. Stop the madness.