Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kris Humphries

Fatmire Was Just Playin’ About That Whole Baby Thing

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

Let’s all take a deep sigh of relief, for our dear Fatmire is actually not pregnant. She will not bear the child of Kris Humphries, for there is no Fatmy Jr. nestled in her tummy. Nope, not pregnant. Just crazy.

From TMZ:

Kris Humphries can breathe a sigh of relief — his ex-girlfriend Myla Sinanaj insists she’s NOT PREGNANT … her belly’s just naturally round.

Myla was out in Jersey earlier today, where a photog asked her straight — are you pregnant or not? Myla responded, “I am definitely not pregnant.”

What Myla DOESN’T explain is why she texted her lawyer Friday night that she WAS pregnant — and why she told numerous other people, including Kris, that she was expecting.

Myla’s latest version is that people just started talking and, “Of course, me not being a size zero kept it going.”

That, and her lying about being pregnant.

Yesterday I said that Fatmire had some pretty impressive game, but she obviously took it too far with this whole pregnancy thing. She lost any credibility that she had, which was approximately none, so I don’t know how she expects to come back from this. She’ll probably have to move on out to L.A. and make best friends with Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton. OR KIM KARDASHIAN.

Your future’s so bright, Fatmire!

Fatmire’s Follies: A Fantastic Frolic Through The Fanciful Fibs of Fraudulent Fatmire

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

Fatmire’s gone and done it again! This girl has some amazing game, if you think about it. Like, this is the kind of strategy I bet Kim Kardashian would have used if she wasn’t lucky enough to have Robert Kardashian for a father: find some remotely famous guy, talk to him, maybe sleep with him, and then call TMZ and tell them every single detail. Oh, and if you feel like interest in you may be slipping a little, be sure to fake a pregnancy.

Anyway, when I say that Fatmire’s done it again, I mean that she’s managed to get herself on the front page of TMZ several times in the past few days. Here’s a breakdown of what she’s been doing for attention:

- A few weeks ago, poor Fatmire got her feelings hurt when Kris Humphries denied that she was his lady. She called Kris multiple times, then she called his friends and left a voicemail in which she threatened to leak information about Kris, whatever that might be. Kris got a hold of the voicemail, sent it to his lawyers, and his lawyers sent it to the FBI, claiming that Fatmire was trying to extort him. Fatmire and her lawyer told TMZ that unless Kris said he was sorry, they were going to file a defamation suit. POOR FATMIRE.

- But then, just yesterday, Fatmire was all “just playin’!” and dropped the lawsuit because she wants Kris back. She even agreed to sign a confidentiality agreement. She’s not even getting paid! Girl’s got it bad!

- Meanwhile, Kris isn’t so sure that he’s the father of that baby.

- Then today we got the warm and fuzzy news that Kris very well could be that father because he isn’t too fond of condoms. Specifically, “if there wasn’t one handy, Kris had no problem going about his business.” Aww, Kris! Don’t be a turkey, wrap that jerkey! Gah!

- Finally, just a few minutes ago, Fatmire tweeted a photo with the caption “Loook No Babyy bump!” Here’s the photo:

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!

Oh No, Fatmire Might Not Be Telling The Truth!

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

This is sad. Just this morning, we heard the beautiful news that our friend Fatmire is pregnant with little Fatmire Jr., and that the father is none other than Kris Humphries. I was definitely suspicious, but I tried to put my doubts aside and be happy for Fatmire. It turns out though that I might have had a reason to be suspicious. Here’s some background information on ol’ Fatmy from some guy she dated for six years:

“Myla [Fatmire] has been searching to become famous since I met her. Originally, she said she was a singer but I was with her for 6 years and never EVER heard a song. That was one way she met ‘industry’ people. When she started working at the hotel she would tell me all of the guys she met that wanted to talk to her…Vin Diesel, Boris Khojo, George Clooney, Curtis Jackson etc. I know she slept with at least one of these guys.”

“She’s a habitual liar and dates guys and when they want to leave she claims she’s pregnant or will kill herself. She is obsessive and will call literally ALL DAY to the point where no more messages can be left on your voicemail. I believe Myla met Kris and definitely constructed a larger connection in her own head. Thats just the person she is.”

See, that’s basically the vibe that I got from this girl in the first place. Remember how she made all those tweets about various Kardashians? She said that Bruce Jenner‘ face scared her? I really, really don’t think that Kris Humphries would go for that. I might be wrong, but I think Fatmire is just another crazy attention whore that has latched on to Kris, and I doubt that they had anything close to a relationship.

Oh, and just in case you’re wondering about Fatmire’s ex, he supplemented his story with some nudes! Unfortunately, it looks like Fatmy’s lawyers have done a pretty decent job of getting rid of most of them, since I haven’t been able to find them yet. Luckily, I could still find one lovely gem.

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Kris Humphries Says Kris Jenner Was in Charge of Kim’s Sex Tape

A photo of Kris Humphries

My goodness, this divorce is going to be serious. There’s about a zillion reasons for that, but the latest one is Kris Humphries‘ girlfriend/special friend/stalker, Fatmire. See, she allegedly has tons of texts from Kris that are relevant to the divorce trial, including ones where Kris calls her the love of his life and ones where he explains that Kris Jenner directed Kim‘s sex tape. It’s official: Fatmire is gossip gold.

From TMZ:

Kris Humphries trashed Kim Kardashian and her family in conversations and text messages to his former girlfriend, Myla Sinanaj [that's Fatmire to you!] … telling her Kris Jenner not only directed Kim to shoot her sex tape, but to re-shoot because Kris J didn’t think the first one was pretty enough.

As TMZ first reported, Kim has subpoenaed Myla in Kim’s divorce case, and we’ve learned Myla has a lot to say about what Kris told her about his relationship with his famous estranged wife.

In addition to the sex tape, sources tell us Myla has numerous text messages in which Kris says she is the love of his life and he wants to get the divorce over with quickly so they can spend the rest of their time on earth together.  In several of the messages, we’re told Kris says specifically that he’s “moved on” from Kim.

The information is extremely damaging to Kris, because he’s alleging in his divorce that Kim has destroyed him emotionally by allegedly defrauding him into believing it was a real marriage.  Turns out, Kris has been banging Myla since mid-January, so his devastation argument may be hard to swallow.

Sources close to the Kardashians tell TMZ … Kris is lying about the sex tape.  They say Kim made it clear at the beginning of their relationship she would not discuss the tape because she didn’t want to be judged by it.  Our sources say the sex tape never came up in any subsequent discussions between Kim and Kris and it just shows he’s delusional.

Myla’s deposition should be interesting.

If this divorce doesn’t air on E!, then I will lose all faith in humankind. There, I said it.

Kris Humphries’ New Girlfriend, Fatmire, Isn’t Really His Girlfriend

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

From Radar:

Kris Humphries is not at all happy that a “Kim Kardashian look-a-like” he has casually hooked up with a few times is telling the media she’s his girlfriend, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

Humphries, who is gearing up for a nasty divorce battle with the real Kardashian, his wife of 72-days, has had his attorney, Lee Hutton,reach out to the woman, Fatmire “Myla” Sinanaj, telling her to stop making those claims — STAT!

As we previously reported Humphries was spotted earlier this week hanging out at the beach in Miami with Sinanaj, but a source close to the situation insists that the two are categorically NOT in a serious relationship.

“Myla and Kris are absolutely not in a relationship,” the source says. “Have they hooked up? Absolutely, and she was pressuring Kris for a commitment, but he has been very honest with her that there was no way that was going to happen… Kris is very much enjoying being single and any girl that claims she is dating him exclusively is lying.”

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Humphries has no plans on dating anyone until his divorce from the E! reality star is finalized.

“Kris’ attorney called and left messages for Myla on Thursday afternoon,” the source tells RadarOnline.com. “Lee conveyed that he needs to speak to her immediately about the claims she is making regarding Kris’ relationship with her. There are text messages between Kris and Myla which clearly prove that she is lying about being his girlfriend. Kris’ lawyer has also drafted a cease and desist letter that he will be sending to Myla which will also order her to stop making these claims. The timing of Myla making these claims is wreaking havoc on his upcoming divorce proceedings, because he will most certainly be asked about dating her during his upcoming deposition.”

Myla, who was branded a “Kim Kardashian look-a-like” because of her curvy figure and brunette locks, is not happy about just being branded a hook-up by Kris though and is eager for a committed relationship.

“Myla is very upset with Kris for not wanting an exclusive relationship. However, Kris was honest with her from the beginning and it’s very likely that he won’t be seeing her anymore now,” the source says. “There are always going to be girls that are looking for their 15 minutes of fame and say they are dating Kris. It just comes along with the territory.”

Calls seeking comment to Kris Humphries’ lawyer and publicist weren’t immediately returned.

Oh, poor Fatmire!  Looking for love in all the wrong places!

Maybe it’s because of my growing appreciation for Kris Humphries, but I definitely believe this story. I think he really does want to be single for a while – pretty understandable after what happened with Kim – but that he just has something in him that pulls him towards the crazies.

Speaking of crazy, poor Fatmire has a Twitter account, and she’s been making a few interesting comments these past few months. Here’s one:

Bruce Jenner’s face scares me — it should be on the ‘Why not to get plastic surgery’ poster.

And another discussing Kanye’s musical declaration of his love for Kim:

He should be bigger than taking petty shots at shit that got nothing to do with him. Lost respect.

And this is one about a photo that Kim posted of herself:

Looks like J. Lo.

Maybe I have this all wrong, but I really don’t see Kris being ok with that. I think he got caught up in his romance with Kim and got hurt by how it ended, and I really can’t see him getting serious with someone who’s willing to pull these kinds of stunts. Kris wants someone to settle down with, and the girl who makes very public remarks about his famous ex and her family doesn’t really seem to be the settling kind, you know?

This is Kris Humphries’ New Girlfriend, Fatmire

photo of kris humphries new girlfriend fatmire pictures
And before you say, “Why, didn’t he just say that he was going to be single ’til his divorce from Kim Kardashian was final, Sarah?” the answer is “yes.” He absolutely did.

Wait, what’s that? You don’t quite remember? Well there was this big old report from Radar Online, citing multiple sources who all said that Kris would be taking his marital estrangement seriously and wouldn’t keep the company of another woman until lawfully able. It went something like this:

… Media reports circulated on Monday that Humphries was spotted at the beach in Miami, with a Kim Kardashian look-alike, and there was speculation the duo are dating. However, our sources tell RadarOnline.com exclusively, “Kris won’t even consider dating anyone until his divorce to Kim is finalized. Kris is very much aware that Kim is dating Kanye West, and he could truly care less. He wishes her nothing but the best, and if she can be happy with Kanye, great. He just isn’t ready to date yet and doesn’t want to get in a serious relationship right now. Kris isn’t living like a monk and goes out with his buddies to clubs,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com exclusively.

Got that, right? Well TMZ claims that the woman he’s been keeping company with—a woman by the name of Fatmire Sinanaj—has been his girlfriend for the past six months. Sounds pretty serious to me, if I say so myself. And gosh, isn’t she just a class act?

Haha, I’m totally kidding about all that. Honestly, someone looks like a cheap version of the already-really-cheap Kim Kardashian. I mean, honestly. Didn’t Reggie Bush do the same damn thing after he and Kim split up? Went ahead and found the trashiest Kardashian-looking chick he could find? Yeah, he did. It was this chick:

photo of melissa molinaro reggie bush girlfriend pictures
Come on. Kim Kardashian’s all “pretty” and stuff, but let’s be realistic. If I truly wanted the “real” thing, and couldn’t have it? Well I sure wouldn’t be settling for someone who looks like Kim Kardashian on crack with scabies. Damn.

Images courtesy of TMZ

Kris Humphries Won’t Date While He’s Still Married

A photo of Kris Humphries

From Radar:

Kris Humphries has no plans to date until his divorce from E! reality star Kim Kardashian is finalized, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, depositions for Kardashian and Humphries will take place at the end of the June. Kardashian filed for divorce after only 72 days of marriage, and she’s now dating Kanye West.

Media reports circulated on Monday that Humphries was spotted at the beach in Miami, with a Kim Kardashian look-alike, and there was speculation the duo are dating. However, our sources tell RadarOnline.com exclusively, “Kris won’t even consider dating anyone until his divorce to Kim is finalized. Kris is very much aware that Kim is dating Kanye West, and he could truly care less. He wishes her nothing but the best, and if she can be happy with Kanye, great. He just isn’t ready to date yet and doesn’t want to get in a serious relationship right now. Kris isn’t living like a monk and goes out with his buddies to clubs,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com exclusively.

Kris is pushing hard for their divorce case to go to trial and for cameras to be allowed to tape the proceedings, something the usually publicity-hungry Kardashian is vehemently against.

“Kim is just livid that she has to be deposed. She has tried to get out of it, but there is no way she can,” the source says. “Kris is ready for his deposition to be taken and just wants the truth to get out about what really happened when they were dating and after the wedding,” the source says.

Humphries will “absolutely get married again, when the time is right. Kris wants to have a family, but he isn’t going to rush into anything. He is hopeful that the divorce will be finalized by the end of the year,” the insider revealed.

Good for Kris Humphries! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with dating around while you’re separated or in the process of divorce – I don’t think you should feel an obligation to remain committed to a relationship that definitely exists only in the legal sense – but there’s a difference between that and what Kim is doing with Kanye. If I were Kris, I imagine that I’d be a little hurt by everything, not because I’d want to get back together with her (because, uh, no), but because this whole thing has seemed so easy for her. She loved him enough to marry him, but positively couldn’t make it more than 72 days before throwing in the towel? And then she managed to get over him fast enough to get with what will quite possibly be her next husband only a handful of months after that?

I hope Kris finds a nice woman who wants to settle down with him in Minnesota and have his babies and let him play his basketball. That is my fondest wish for Kris Humphries. That, and that he gets his way and has the divorce trial filmed.