Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kris Humphries

Fatmire and Kris Humphries Never Even Had Sex, God

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

Look, I know that some of you can’t appreciate Fatmire here as much as I can. And I respect that, I really do. I admire your ability to just say no to all the new train wreck fame whores on the block, but that just not an ability that I have. I can’t look away from this, and as much as I wish I could, I just can’t quit Fatmire. I can’t. I’m sorry.

Now that that’s out of the way, let me tell you all about how Fatmire is now claiming that she never even had sex with Kris Humphries. This news, of course, comes just a week after she called TMZ to let them know that she was pregnant with Kris’ baby and posed for some paparazzi shots. That Fatmire, she’s like the wind:

When Myla was asked point blank if she has had sex with Kris she denied that they had. “No, I don’t do that type of thing,” she said.

“We’re friends. We’re really close friends.”

She also said that Kris needs to get a divorce before he starts dating, but that he’s “a great guy with a great heart.” During the interview they also talked about Kim (who has never had the honor to meet Fatmire, by the way) and the divorce proceedings (Fatmire has been subpoenaed by Kim’s lawyers), and she had this little gem to say:

“I’m hoping Kim realizes that she doesn’t have to fly all the way to New York for me, we’re just friends,” she said about her non-sexual relationship with Kris.

I’m not sure what that even means, but it just proves how delusional Fatmire is. I read through some of her tweets last night, and it sounds like this girl has lost touch with reality. Here are a few samples of tweets from the past few days:

So I say I’m not prego & ppl say why did u say u were?Wtf you want me to pee in a cup & post te results? LMAO I never said I was Press did

I swear you can’t win with ppl you tell the truth but they don’t like the answer. Yea I know truth isn’t as entertaining! Geez

Watch 2mrw they will report I have a life threatening illness with only 2 weeks to live lol I feel like I’m on Maury Everyday ?#markmyword?

I’m a curvy girl! Just depends on angle of pic Media job is to get bad ones of me! Its what sells

Girl. You are Fatmire. You are not Angelina Jolie. You are not Lindsay Lohan. You’re not even Courtney Stodden. You are a woman who talked to Kim Kardashian’s soon-to-be ex on a beach one time, and you ran with it. And good for you, that’s some good hustle, but I don’t think all these members of the press are sitting around, trying to come up with the next great Fatmire story. If you’d stop alerting TMZ of your every move, it wouldn’t be too long before you slipped back out of the public eye.

Oh, and just because I can’t let the whole “bad angle” thing go, here’s one of the photos of Fatmire that, along with her tip to TMZ, started the pregnancy rumors:

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

Yeah, that’s not a bad angle, that’s an ill-fitting dress and a pushed out gut. Oh, that Fatmire, she never disappoints!

Fatmire Was Just Playin’ About That Whole Baby Thing

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

Let’s all take a deep sigh of relief, for our dear Fatmire is actually not pregnant. She will not bear the child of Kris Humphries, for there is no Fatmy Jr. nestled in her tummy. Nope, not pregnant. Just crazy.

From TMZ:

Kris Humphries can breathe a sigh of relief — his ex-girlfriend Myla Sinanaj insists she’s NOT PREGNANT … her belly’s just naturally round.

Myla was out in Jersey earlier today, where a photog asked her straight — are you pregnant or not? Myla responded, “I am definitely not pregnant.”

What Myla DOESN’T explain is why she texted her lawyer Friday night that she WAS pregnant — and why she told numerous other people, including Kris, that she was expecting.

Myla’s latest version is that people just started talking and, “Of course, me not being a size zero kept it going.”

That, and her lying about being pregnant.

Yesterday I said that Fatmire had some pretty impressive game, but she obviously took it too far with this whole pregnancy thing. She lost any credibility that she had, which was approximately none, so I don’t know how she expects to come back from this. She’ll probably have to move on out to L.A. and make best friends with Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton. OR KIM KARDASHIAN.

Your future’s so bright, Fatmire!

Fatmire’s Follies: A Fantastic Frolic Through The Fanciful Fibs of Fraudulent Fatmire

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

Fatmire’s gone and done it again! This girl has some amazing game, if you think about it. Like, this is the kind of strategy I bet Kim Kardashian would have used if she wasn’t lucky enough to have Robert Kardashian for a father: find some remotely famous guy, talk to him, maybe sleep with him, and then call TMZ and tell them every single detail. Oh, and if you feel like interest in you may be slipping a little, be sure to fake a pregnancy.

Anyway, when I say that Fatmire’s done it again, I mean that she’s managed to get herself on the front page of TMZ several times in the past few days. Here’s a breakdown of what she’s been doing for attention:

- A few weeks ago, poor Fatmire got her feelings hurt when Kris Humphries denied that she was his lady. She called Kris multiple times, then she called his friends and left a voicemail in which she threatened to leak information about Kris, whatever that might be. Kris got a hold of the voicemail, sent it to his lawyers, and his lawyers sent it to the FBI, claiming that Fatmire was trying to extort him. Fatmire and her lawyer told TMZ that unless Kris said he was sorry, they were going to file a defamation suit. POOR FATMIRE.

- But then, just yesterday, Fatmire was all “just playin’!” and dropped the lawsuit because she wants Kris back. She even agreed to sign a confidentiality agreement. She’s not even getting paid! Girl’s got it bad!

- Meanwhile, Kris isn’t so sure that he’s the father of that baby.

- Then today we got the warm and fuzzy news that Kris very well could be that father because he isn’t too fond of condoms. Specifically, “if there wasn’t one handy, Kris had no problem going about his business.” Aww, Kris! Don’t be a turkey, wrap that jerkey! Gah!

- Finally, just a few minutes ago, Fatmire tweeted a photo with the caption “Loook No Babyy bump!” Here’s the photo:

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj


Oh No, Fatmire Might Not Be Telling The Truth!

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

This is sad. Just this morning, we heard the beautiful news that our friend Fatmire is pregnant with little Fatmire Jr., and that the father is none other than Kris Humphries. I was definitely suspicious, but I tried to put my doubts aside and be happy for Fatmire. It turns out though that I might have had a reason to be suspicious. Here’s some background information on ol’ Fatmy from some guy she dated for six years:

“Myla [Fatmire] has been searching to become famous since I met her. Originally, she said she was a singer but I was with her for 6 years and never EVER heard a song. That was one way she met ‘industry’ people. When she started working at the hotel she would tell me all of the guys she met that wanted to talk to her…Vin Diesel, Boris Khojo, George Clooney, Curtis Jackson etc. I know she slept with at least one of these guys.”

“She’s a habitual liar and dates guys and when they want to leave she claims she’s pregnant or will kill herself. She is obsessive and will call literally ALL DAY to the point where no more messages can be left on your voicemail. I believe Myla met Kris and definitely constructed a larger connection in her own head. Thats just the person she is.”

See, that’s basically the vibe that I got from this girl in the first place. Remember how she made all those tweets about various Kardashians? She said that Bruce Jenner‘ face scared her? I really, really don’t think that Kris Humphries would go for that. I might be wrong, but I think Fatmire is just another crazy attention whore that has latched on to Kris, and I doubt that they had anything close to a relationship.

Oh, and just in case you’re wondering about Fatmire’s ex, he supplemented his story with some nudes! Unfortunately, it looks like Fatmy’s lawyers have done a pretty decent job of getting rid of most of them, since I haven’t been able to find them yet. Luckily, I could still find one lovely gem.

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Kris Humphries Says Kris Jenner Was in Charge of Kim’s Sex Tape

A photo of Kris Humphries

My goodness, this divorce is going to be serious. There’s about a zillion reasons for that, but the latest one is Kris Humphries‘ girlfriend/special friend/stalker, Fatmire. See, she allegedly has tons of texts from Kris that are relevant to the divorce trial, including ones where Kris calls her the love of his life and ones where he explains that Kris Jenner directed Kim‘s sex tape. It’s official: Fatmire is gossip gold.

From TMZ:

Kris Humphries trashed Kim Kardashian and her family in conversations and text messages to his former girlfriend, Myla Sinanaj [that's Fatmire to you!] … telling her Kris Jenner not only directed Kim to shoot her sex tape, but to re-shoot because Kris J didn’t think the first one was pretty enough.

As TMZ first reported, Kim has subpoenaed Myla in Kim’s divorce case, and we’ve learned Myla has a lot to say about what Kris told her about his relationship with his famous estranged wife.

In addition to the sex tape, sources tell us Myla has numerous text messages in which Kris says she is the love of his life and he wants to get the divorce over with quickly so they can spend the rest of their time on earth together.  In several of the messages, we’re told Kris says specifically that he’s “moved on” from Kim.

The information is extremely damaging to Kris, because he’s alleging in his divorce that Kim has destroyed him emotionally by allegedly defrauding him into believing it was a real marriage.  Turns out, Kris has been banging Myla since mid-January, so his devastation argument may be hard to swallow.

Sources close to the Kardashians tell TMZ … Kris is lying about the sex tape.  They say Kim made it clear at the beginning of their relationship she would not discuss the tape because she didn’t want to be judged by it.  Our sources say the sex tape never came up in any subsequent discussions between Kim and Kris and it just shows he’s delusional.

Myla’s deposition should be interesting.

If this divorce doesn’t air on E!, then I will lose all faith in humankind. There, I said it.

Kris Humphries’ New Girlfriend, Fatmire, Isn’t Really His Girlfriend

A photo of Fatmire Sinanaj

From Radar:

Kris Humphries is not at all happy that a “Kim Kardashian look-a-like” he has casually hooked up with a few times is telling the media she’s his girlfriend, is exclusively reporting.

Humphries, who is gearing up for a nasty divorce battle with the real Kardashian, his wife of 72-days, has had his attorney, Lee Hutton,reach out to the woman, Fatmire “Myla” Sinanaj, telling her to stop making those claims — STAT!

As we previously reported Humphries was spotted earlier this week hanging out at the beach in Miami with Sinanaj, but a source close to the situation insists that the two are categorically NOT in a serious relationship.

“Myla and Kris are absolutely not in a relationship,” the source says. “Have they hooked up? Absolutely, and she was pressuring Kris for a commitment, but he has been very honest with her that there was no way that was going to happen… Kris is very much enjoying being single and any girl that claims she is dating him exclusively is lying.”

As previously reported, Humphries has no plans on dating anyone until his divorce from the E! reality star is finalized.

“Kris’ attorney called and left messages for Myla on Thursday afternoon,” the source tells “Lee conveyed that he needs to speak to her immediately about the claims she is making regarding Kris’ relationship with her. There are text messages between Kris and Myla which clearly prove that she is lying about being his girlfriend. Kris’ lawyer has also drafted a cease and desist letter that he will be sending to Myla which will also order her to stop making these claims. The timing of Myla making these claims is wreaking havoc on his upcoming divorce proceedings, because he will most certainly be asked about dating her during his upcoming deposition.”

Myla, who was branded a “Kim Kardashian look-a-like” because of her curvy figure and brunette locks, is not happy about just being branded a hook-up by Kris though and is eager for a committed relationship.

“Myla is very upset with Kris for not wanting an exclusive relationship. However, Kris was honest with her from the beginning and it’s very likely that he won’t be seeing her anymore now,” the source says. “There are always going to be girls that are looking for their 15 minutes of fame and say they are dating Kris. It just comes along with the territory.”

Calls seeking comment to Kris Humphries’ lawyer and publicist weren’t immediately returned.

Oh, poor Fatmire!  Looking for love in all the wrong places!

Maybe it’s because of my growing appreciation for Kris Humphries, but I definitely believe this story. I think he really does want to be single for a while – pretty understandable after what happened with Kim – but that he just has something in him that pulls him towards the crazies.

Speaking of crazy, poor Fatmire has a Twitter account, and she’s been making a few interesting comments these past few months. Here’s one:

Bruce Jenner’s face scares me — it should be on the ‘Why not to get plastic surgery’ poster.

And another discussing Kanye’s musical declaration of his love for Kim:

He should be bigger than taking petty shots at shit that got nothing to do with him. Lost respect.

And this is one about a photo that Kim posted of herself:

Looks like J. Lo.

Maybe I have this all wrong, but I really don’t see Kris being ok with that. I think he got caught up in his romance with Kim and got hurt by how it ended, and I really can’t see him getting serious with someone who’s willing to pull these kinds of stunts. Kris wants someone to settle down with, and the girl who makes very public remarks about his famous ex and her family doesn’t really seem to be the settling kind, you know?

This is Kris Humphries’ New Girlfriend, Fatmire

photo of kris humphries new girlfriend fatmire pictures
And before you say, “Why, didn’t he just say that he was going to be single ’til his divorce from Kim Kardashian was final, Sarah?” the answer is “yes.” He absolutely did.

Wait, what’s that? You don’t quite remember? Well there was this big old report from Radar Online, citing multiple sources who all said that Kris would be taking his marital estrangement seriously and wouldn’t keep the company of another woman until lawfully able. It went something like this:

… Media reports circulated on Monday that Humphries was spotted at the beach in Miami, with a Kim Kardashian look-alike, and there was speculation the duo are dating. However, our sources tell exclusively, “Kris won’t even consider dating anyone until his divorce to Kim is finalized. Kris is very much aware that Kim is dating Kanye West, and he could truly care less. He wishes her nothing but the best, and if she can be happy with Kanye, great. He just isn’t ready to date yet and doesn’t want to get in a serious relationship right now. Kris isn’t living like a monk and goes out with his buddies to clubs,” a source close to the situation tells exclusively.

Got that, right? Well TMZ claims that the woman he’s been keeping company with—a woman by the name of Fatmire Sinanaj—has been his girlfriend for the past six months. Sounds pretty serious to me, if I say so myself. And gosh, isn’t she just a class act?

Haha, I’m totally kidding about all that. Honestly, someone looks like a cheap version of the already-really-cheap Kim Kardashian. I mean, honestly. Didn’t Reggie Bush do the same damn thing after he and Kim split up? Went ahead and found the trashiest Kardashian-looking chick he could find? Yeah, he did. It was this chick:

photo of melissa molinaro reggie bush girlfriend pictures
Come on. Kim Kardashian’s all “pretty” and stuff, but let’s be realistic. If I truly wanted the “real” thing, and couldn’t have it? Well I sure wouldn’t be settling for someone who looks like Kim Kardashian on crack with scabies. Damn.

Images courtesy of TMZ