Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kourtney Kardashian

The Kardashian Sisters Are Getting Sued For The Funniest Reason

A photo of Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian

I don’t watch that Kardashian show because I really prefer that my trashy reality television showcases alcoholic young adults with ridiculous nicknames or teenage mothers, so I tend not to tell you guys things about them unless it involves The Biebz or blow up dolls or something equally as great.  And I think this might be a little more great.

An inmate in Pennsylvania has filed a lawsuit against Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian, saying that their shows have caused him “extreme emotional distress.”  Here’s the full story from TMZ:

According to a lawsuit filed in federal court, D.J. Goodson claims he was forced to watch “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” and “Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami.” Punishment for bad behavior, perhaps?

Goodson says he developed “extreme emotional distress due to their outrageousness of actions.”

Goodson claims he’s permanently scarred from watching domestic abuse (a boxing match on the show featuring Kim), emotional abuse (rantings courtesy of Kourtney and “paramour Scott”) and racism (Khloe referring to a baby doll as “the black baby”).

Goodson wants $75,000 in damages.

I wish I had the time and money to file lawsuits against celebrities for the emotional distress they’ve caused me.  I’d go after JC Chasez for selling himself so short with his solo career that it damaged my fragile teenage psyche, and I’d probably see what I could do about the emotional assault I faced with the premature cancellation of Firefly.

Following the good example of D.J. Goodson, who would you guys sue?

Scott Disick Needs to Calm It Down

A photo of Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian

Are you guys into those Kardashian people?  I’m not, but even I can tell that this Scott Disick character is a total douche canoe (try saying that out loud, it’s pretty fun), and I bet his neighbors feel the same exact way.

Here’s how this scene went down:  Kourtney Kardashian and Scott were hanging out by their garage, and a female neighbor said something about Scott’s parking job.  Being a completely grounded individual, Scott responded by saying the following things:

“We do own the place, and we’re leaving because you’re disgusting! Look at you!”

“You ruin my view! You know I have to sell my house cheaper because of you!”

“You’re disgusting, I would kill myself if I looked like you! Look at you, you whale!”

When the woman responded to that last remark with “Look at you,” he replied

“What about me? I’m perfect! You’re so disgusting, it makes me sick!”

You can watch the video of the incident here.  Note how quickly Scott goes completely crazy.  Also note how Kourtney just watches the whole thing with a smile of embarrassment, or maybe fear, or maybe maliciousness.  I don’t know, I don’t keep up with the Kardashians.

A few police officers showed up after the video ends, but there were no arrests or citations or even warnings, which is a shame.  How’s a douche canoe gonna learn?

Shut the Hell Up, Scott Disick

Scott Disick is the Worst

Kourtney Kardashian’s babby daddy Scott Disick is a douchebag. I really hate him. After watching him on Keeping Up With the Kardashians and seeing that he’s just a bottom-feeding nobody who happened to impregnate one of those amazing Kardashian sisters and “strike rich” so to speak,  I can’t stand him. I think that he’s as bad as Spencer Pratt for playing into his role as the villain and for treating Kourtney in a humiliating and degrading way in order to maintain that character. If Scott had half a brain, he could probably figure out a way to paint himself as the bad guy without also painting himself as a chauvinistic alcoholic. Why couldn’t have Scott gotten in trouble for embezzling QuickTrim money instead of getting wasted and trashing a hotel room when Kourtney was in her third trimester of pregnancy? That’s all I wanna know.

So that rant came off the heels of me reading something Scott said to digitalspy while trying to defend his honor:

“I don’t mind being portrayed as the villain on TV, but nobody knows the real me. I’m a great guy. All the haters are just jealous, so they’re trying to bring me down. I’m young, handsome, successful, wealthy. You could say I’m a role model – I’m the American dream!”

Ugh. Yeah. We’ve got another Spencer Pratt on our hands and the only way to destroy him will be to ignore him. This is the last time I will talk about Scott Disick on the Internet if I can help it. It will be hard because I truly, truly love those Kardashian girls, but it has to be done. Scott Disick must be stopped.

Kourtney Kardashian Finally Gave That Loser The Boot

New mom Kourtney Kardashian had finally had it with her dumb-ass baby daddy, Scott Disick. Things have been going south with these two for quite some time, but now with their new baby, Scott’s problem’s were getting harder and harder to deal with. InTouch reports that most of Kourtney’s issue with him was that he was unhelpful with the baby and quick to argue with her. One of Scott’s friends told the magazine that he had regularly been harassing Kourtney for not losing her baby weight, and has even told people that he’s no longer attracted to her because of her post-baby figure.

Good riddance! I don’t care what argument you have for a two parent home. Kourtney Kardashian has more than enough money to raise a kid and that Scott character sounds like bad news.

Photos Released of Kourtney Kardashian’s Kute Kid … and Some Other Guy, Too

kourtney-kardashian-baby-photosA mere two weeks after Mason Dash Disick is born, Kourtney is releasing the photos to Life & Style magazine.

Mom looks great, natch, and the baby is absolutely adorable — looks like he inherited the sweet olive-skinned goodness that his mother and aunts all have.

But I have to ask … Who the fuck is this Scott Disick dude? The only thing I can find about him online is that he’s a (snort, snort, chuff) television personality who also happens to be Kourtney’s baby daddy. Dude’s not even important enough to have a Wiki, for shit’s sake.

When I do see this guy, all I can think about is Fonzie.  Yes, Happy Days-era Fonzie.  The Fonzie that’s all thumbs and teeth and ‘Eyyyy’. And that makes me laugh.  Yet, I’m saddened by my own laughing because this guy’s last name is ‘Disick’, which can be transposed into ‘Dickis’, ‘Dickii’ and ‘Sick Dick’ which is also sad for him. But then I have to laugh again because of that whole Fonzie thing.


Kourtney Kardashian Named Her Baby After Her Store

Kourtney Kardashian

Wow! What a crazy, magical nine months it’s been! I can hardly believe that I’m reporting the news to you that Kourtney Kardashian has finally given birth to her little Prince of Calabasas, Mason Dash Disick. Yeah, Dash. You know, as in the name of her clothing boutique or the second syllable of her last name.

I don’t want to call her dumb. I am trying hard not to call her dumb. I feel like I’ve heard her say intelligent things before. Molls, even if it kills you, do not call the new mother dumb. You’ll feel bad about it for the rest of the day.

Here’s what I don’t understand: What is the deal with her and this Scott dude? They were dating for awhile, they broke up, they kept hooking up after they were broken up, she got pregnant and now they can make it work? I say if you’re going to have a baby with a man you don’t want to marry and you’re wealthy, then just go balls-out and do it yourself. I seriously doubt this clown is going to be around past the child’s second birthday, so why live under what seems like a pressured situation to have a “normal” family? He looks like a sponge and if he’s already been dumped once, way before there was another human life involved, then it’s going to happen again.