Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kim Kardashian

But Will Kanye Be on Keeping Up with the Kardashians?

A photo of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

From E! Online:

Kim Kardashian’s boyfriend Kanye West was at big sister Kourtney Kardashian’s baby shower on Saturday.

And yup, the reality show cameras were rolling.

So does this mean Mr. West is going to be appearing on Keeping Up With the Kardashians?

He will…at least a little bit.

Not only is he in the just released television spot promoting the new season of KUWTK, but Kim, 31, tells me he will appear in a few episodes.

“I want to show my life,” she told me earlier today.

While Kim says she’s not ready to talk about her relationship with West, 34, she did say, “If we are having dinner and he does show up, I’m sure we’re not going to go, ‘Stop the cameras!’”

In other words, we won’t be seeing Keeping Up With Kim and Kanye or Kim and Kanye Take the World anytime soon.

“I’m not going to be taking a bubble bath and drinking champagne or on a sex swing [on camera] like Khloé [Kardashian Odom] and Lamar [Odom] do,” Kim said. “It’s not going to be like that.”

Kim admits her marriage to Kris Humphries leaves her a bit weary of sharing as much as she once did.

“My heart’s a little more guarded,” she said. “I showed so much of myself in the past. You almost get embarrassed showing this big wedding, which I would have had cameras or not. So I think you want to just guard yourself.”

Come on, of course Kanye is going to show up on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. That was never really a question, was it? The two most ridiculous celebrities in the world start dating, and you think they’re going to keep it private? Not a chance. Kim Kardashian had a very public, very messy divorce (that, by the way, is still nowhere close to being official) after a very public wedding, and she broke up with her one true love, Reggie Bush, because he didn’t like all the cameras, all the time. But did she learn her lesson? Nope. She’s going to keep going down this road, because it’s all she knows, except this time it will make for some high quality entertainment. I want the Kim and Kanye spin-off right this second. Is anybody with me?

By the way, the new season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians premieres this Sunday, so mark you calendars!

Love It or Leave It: Kim Kardashian Has Finally Turned Into Her Mother

See, this is a circumstance where I’d normally be prompted to say some random, nice thing about Kim Kardashian, like how short hair and light makeup suits her, but I just can’t, guys. And for two reasons: one, because Kim looks way too much like her mom, and the only worse female in pop culture than Kim Kardashian is definitely Kris Jenner. Two? Because Kim Kardashian is a f-cking conniving dolt who doesn’t deserve any of the “Yeah she’s a twat, but she’s hot” comments that she’s so accustomed to hearing about herself.

These photos were captured this past weekend, where Kim donned a short black wig for aVogue Italia fashion shoot, which I find to be quite interesting, since we, like, just talked about how Anna Wintour hates Kim Kardashian and how she banned Kim Kardashian from ever having anything at all to do with her particular Vogue empire. I guess when you’re overseas, those kind of things change? I don’t know. I realize that Anna’s just the editor-in-chief of the American magazine, but I’m sure she’s got to have some clout elsewhere, too, right? A woman by the name of Franca Sozzani is the editor-in-chief at Vogue Italia, but I guess maybe she and Anna don’t get on so well.

All I know is that if I were EIC of an internationally-known magazine, I’d use my freeze-out powers to put the kibosh on people like Kim Kardashian. I mean, honestly. Can there be that many people out there who actually like and admire Kim enough to want to read her fake, scripted interviews and watch her strut her stupid Botox face professionally? Damn.

Last, Kim’s definite-boyfriend-or-f-ck-buddy, Kanye West, was on set with her, and their first PDA photo was captured (unless you count that one photo where Kanye’s all looking like he had a mild, post-car sex stroke):

photo of kim kardashian kissing kanye west pictures
See? Gross, right? You can almost see the parasites jumping back and forth from Kanye to Kim in that picture. The things that can be captured on camera these days, guys. It’ll just blow your mind.

Did Kanye West Rap About Marrying Kim Kardashian in His New Song?

A photo of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

That crazy Kanye West, always announcing his feelings through his gift of song. If you’ll remember, the first time we really heard about the amazing love between Kanye and Kim Kardashian was in a new song. It makes sense then that after things started to get really serious, Kanye would allude to marriage in the form of music.

From Us Weekly:

As reported exclusively by Us Weekly, Kanye West’s new rap may have implications about his new romance with Kim Kardashian — suggesting potential wedding bells for the couple of two months.

But a source close to the Grammy winner, 34, clarifies to Us that the originally quoted lyrics from an upcoming song were incorrect — by just a hair.

The source explains that the romantic song actually includes the following lines: “Now she back in the club in a tight dress with dreams of someday wearing a white dress,” with the refrain, “Even though I met you in the club in a tight dress/At first sight I could picture you in a white dress.”

(Another insider initially cited a slightly different lyric: “I saw you in the club in a white dress/Now I want to put you in a white dress.”)

“Kanye’s been a good sport about all the gossip, but one thing that gets him hot is people misquoting his lyrics!” the first West source tells Us of the song, rumored to be on the soundtrack to an upcoming film directed by RZA.

As for speculation that the lines are about wedding plans with Kardashian, 31? “He’s just trying to make dope songs,” the source says. “As has always been the case with Kanye’s music, people will interpret the lyrics to apply to his life or their own. That’s the beauty of it.”

No, I think this song is absolutely dedicated to Kim. After his last song about Kim, and with all the gossip surrounding these two, of course everyone is going to think that it’s about Kim. A lot of people would probably play that to their advantage and make tons of mediocre songs just for the attention, but I don’t think Kanye’s like that. I think that despite his rampant douchebaggery, he’s always sincere. That’s what makes him so hilarious, isn’t it, that he’s so sincere in his ridiculousness? So yeah, this is a song about Kim in a wedding dress, and Kanye is super in love. Someday these two might actually get married. Just not until Kim’s current marriage ends.

What do you think?

Kim Kardashian’s Been Blacklisted in Hollywood

photo of kim kardashian and anna wintour pics
From Radar Online:

The most glamorous stars in Hollywood sizzled at the Met Gala in New York City Monday night but there was one starlet who was noticeably absent – Kim Kardashian!

Kim’s new boyfriend, superstar Kanye West, was at Anna Wintour’s fabled Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala, but Kim was not by his side, and that’s down to an edict straight from the famed Vogue editor for years, a source exclusively told

“Anna hates Kim,” a source says. “Why would she be invited to the event? It is all the biggest stars in the world and Kim doesn’t fit that bill at all. … The Met Gala is $25,000 a ticket, but Kim can’t even buy her way in, Anna Wintour does NOT want her there!” the source says.

“Kim and her camp will deny that she wasn’t invited by saying that she had business in L.A., but that is a lie,” the source says. “She would of [sic] done anything to be there with all the A-listers.”

… Don’t expect to see Kardashian gazing out from the cover of the esteemed fashion mag anytime soon either!

“Anna Wintour would allow Kim Kardashian on the cover of Vogue over her dead body,” the source says. “As long as Anna in charge you will NOT see Kim on Vogue.”

Can I tell you how good this makes me feel inside? That someone of “importance” doesn’t want Kim Kardashian around because they, like many of us, think that Kim Kardashian is a piece of half-rotted road trash?

Also, in the same breath, how much does it say for White House Press to invite Kim Kardashian to the White House Correspondent’s Dinner, but yet, she’s unwanted by people like Anna Wintour? Wait, no, you’re right—I get it now. The US government has got this, like, unlimited surplus of money laying around, and they can afford the forty-eight aerosol tons of Lysol that it takes to get the stink out of the fabric in the chairs. Duh, Anna Wintour’s got nothing on the feds, guys. Thought you knew.

Lea Michele And Kim Kardashian Are Total Twinsies!

A photo of Lea Michele and Kim Kardashian

Have you ever seen a resemblance between Lea Michele and Kim Kardashian? Because I sure as hell haven’t. Sure, they both have dark hair and dark eyes, and a similar skin tone (before the fake tan), but I think that’s where the similarities stop. Lea has that distinctive nose, and, um, how do I put this nicely? One of these two girls has not had noticeable plastic surgery. And it’s not Kim. Kim has had noticeable plastic surgery. Her face looks mildly to moderately fake. Lea’s does not. Was that nice enough?

But, according to both of these girls, they totally look alike! How sweet:

If you ever thought Lea Michele sometimes bears a striking resemblance to Kim Kardashian, well, you’re not alone.

It seems the Glee girl seems to think so, too—the actress tweeted a photo of herself  on Thursday, commenting, “Kim Kardashian is it just me or do we kinda look alike in this pic???”

So what did the E! reality star think of the comparison?

“Twins!” Kim exclaimed in her tweet back. “If only I was so lucky.”

“Haha if only iiiiii was so lucky” Michele playfully replied.

The photo that Lea originally tweeted, by the way, isn’t the photo I used in that comparison picture up there, but it’s from the same event and she’s doing the same pose. I just didn’t want to use Lea’s tweeted photo, which was covered with watermarks, because that’s not how I want to do things. But look, twinsies!

Ok, let’s get to the real news: I got a personal assistant! His name is Archie, and he’s the cutest, sweetest thing that ever was:

See? I call him my personal assistant because he’s been sitting on my lap all morning, and if he sees a story he really thinks we should cover, he puts his little kitten paws up on my keyboard and gets to work. But really, he’s curled up on my rack right now, taking a nap and being warm and precious and awesome. He’s the most playful, cuddly cat I’ve ever met, and he’s wonderful. But the guinea pigs don’t know about him yet. We just got him yesterday from my cousin, whose cat had surprise babies. And I know we were talking about dogs last week, but Archie and me just seem meant to be. Also, he just stretched his little paws up and yawned. You guys.

For what it’s worth, he doesn’t see any resemblance between Lea Michele and Kim Kardashian either.

Kim Kardashian Wants Her Very Own Sitcom!

A photo of Kim Kardashian

From the New York Post:

Kim Kardashian wants to branch out from reality TV to become a sitcom star.

The ample-bottomed beauty is in the early stages of developing her own scripted half-hour comedy series, sources say, in addition to having just extended her family’s deal with E! Entertainment for three more seasons of their namesake hit, “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.”

“Kim wants to move beyond reality TV and become a comedy actress,” says a source. “She really wants to be the next Sofia Vergara.”

Sources close to the attention-craving, aspiring thespian add she’s eager to establish herself apart from her family.

“Acting is something she wants to do just for her,” one source told us. “Kim wants to do something that wouldn’t involve her sisters.”

Kim’s desire to move on to her own show comes after a number of appearances away from her family and E! She popped up on a live episode of NBC’s “30 Rock” Thursday, playing herself in two scenes, and tweeted afterward: “Anyone see 30 Rock tonight??? I had a blast!!!! Love this show!” Jon Hamm, Paul McCartney, Amy Poehler and Jimmy Fallon also made cameos.

Kris Humphries’ ex also played herself on an episode of Tim Allen’s ABC sitcom “Last Man Standing” in February. And she’ll play a character in Tyler Perry’s upcoming movie, “The Marriage Counselor,” opposite Vanessa Williams and Jurnee Smollett.

It’s unclear who’ll produce Kim’s proposed sitcom, but sources speculate it could be “Kardashians” partner Ryan Seacrest. The “American Idol” host’s production company has been expanding into scripted projects, including a series for ABC based on the 2007 Scarlett Johansson movie “The Nanny Diaries,” as well as a feature film for Universal starring Reese Witherspoon.

But one Hollywood insider says of any impending deal, “It’s not locked yet.”

Reps for Kardashian had no comment.

Oh, Kim, you’re so greedy! You have your own reality show, you landed the best, most beloved rapper ever, and you have one of the most famous asses that ever was. Isn’t that enough? Do you really have to have a scripted television show too?

Just in case you’re wondering, here’s a video showing Kim’s impressive acting talent on last week’s episode of 30 Rock:

Wow, Kim, you really killed during those eight whole seconds you were on the show! You could totally be the next Sofia Vergara*!

*You could never be the next Sofia Vergara.

Now Kim and Kanye Are Talking About Marriage

A photo of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

Just last week, we heard that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were thinking about having babies together since they’d both be such great parents. The rumor this week is that Kim and Kanye are very, very serious, and they’re discussing marriage. Am I the only one who remembers that Kim is still married? Really, has everyone else already forgotten that?

From Us Weekly:

Kimye’s on the fast track!

Just one month after going public with their romance, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are “very serious,” a source tells the new Us Weekly — as in, ready to pick out rings.

Although the reality star, 31, has yet to finalize her divorce from NBA star Kris Humphries, she and the rapper, 34, “are talking marriage,” says the source. (Over the weekend, Kardashian jetted back from Washington, DC, where she was a guest at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner Saturday, to be by West’s side for a Sunday performance of Broadway’s Wicked.)

A sure sign of Kardashian’s commitment? The workaholic star will join the Grammy winner on his summer tour with Jay-Z. “She wants to be with him as much as possible,” the source explains. “They really know and love each other.”

Ok, the article did mention poor forgotten Kris Humphries, that’s nice. But not quite nice enough to stop me from thinking that this is the most ridiculous relationship that ever happened.

But you know, despite the complete silliness of Kandashian, I think it actually makes sense. I even think it could work. Can you think of two other people who love themselves as much as they do? Can you think of two other people who get on everyone’s nerves as much as they do? Then factor in that they have been close for several years. It just makes sense.

And speaking of making sense, Kim decided to go ahead and explain what was going on with Kanye’s pants the other day:

“He was getting out of the car and his belt got pulled by this hook on the car door and he was trying to pull it up quick and his belt was really heavy,” says Kim, Kanye’s frequent companion as of late, in an exclusive interview with E! News at E!’s upfronts presentation.

“It’s called a wardrobe malfunction,” sister Kourtney explains to her sibling.

“It was a wardrobe malfunction, but it wasn’t anything intentional,” Kim says. “It was not scandalous.”

Ok, no. I’m not the most graceful person, and one of the things that means is that I run into doors and pretty much everything all the time. When you get your pants caught on something like a doorknob or a hook or something like that, then your pants get pulled to the side, they don’t get pulled down. The pants can come down a little bit, but not to the extent that Kanye’s did. Besides, even if that’s why his pants were pulled down, you’d think he’d be able to catch them before we got a whole series of photos of them. So yeah, I don’t buy it.

Where are you guys standing on Kim and Kanye at this point?