Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian And Kanye West “Need” A Bigger Place

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Kim Kardashian was in NYC with her horrible mother looking at apartments. Husband Kanye has a place in SoHo, but apparently it’s not good enough for them. A source told People, “They need a bigger space with private parking.”

OH, EXCUSE ME.

Here’s more on the story:

Kardashian checked out a $17.25 million townhouse in Greenwich Village that has six bedrooms, seven baths, a private garden and private parking inside the building, and a $12.99 million penthouse with a 1,500-sq.-ft. terrace complete with private pool, the New York Post reports.

The family, who are currently staying with Kardashian’s mom in L.A. while they renovate the Bel Air mansion they bought in January 2013 for $11 million, joked in April’s Vogue magazine that they would be keeping West’s L.A. home to store Kardashian’s giant wardrobe. “We have a ‘walk in’ house,” West joked.

Kanye, you make it so hard to like you. Kim, I never liked you. I can’t believe these people. How much do they really need, seriously? How much bigger and grander do they have to go? Am I jealous? You’re damn right I’m jealous, I wish I had their money. Why the hell does Kim need all that space? What’s she going to do with a 1,500 sq.-ft. terrace aside from using it as scenery to take more photoshopped pics? Oh, I guess they need a massive apartment so they can throw more stupid parties for their kid.

Yeah, I’m grumpy today.

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Proof that Kim Kardashian is a walking Photoshop disaster

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Remember how Kim Kardashian tried to say that she never Photoshops her pics? You know, despite how obviously warped they tend to be and how obvious the retouching is?

Well, now we’ve got an undeniable Photoshop disaster on a photo of Kim and her friend Jonathan Cheban in Cannes. While Kim tried to suck in her waist and give herself those trademark hourglass curves, she also managed to erase half of her arm, which is always fun.

Extra hilarious on this one is that she had the nerve to capture it thusly:

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Yes, “LOL” indeed. The audacity this woman has is beyond belief.

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Kim Kardashian is a blonde again, sort of…

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Kim Kardashian has nothing better to do with her days than throw elaborate parties and change her hair colour, so it’s no surprise that she decided to go blonde again, just for shits and giggles. She debuted her new look on Instagram last night and then showed it around town so she could be papped, as per usual.

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I think this looks awful, so it’s actually pretty good news that it’s just a wig. It does indeed look real, as she states, but I’d say she would be happy it’s not. Doesn’t suit her at all.

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What do you think? Good? Awful?

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Kim Kardashian swims with dolphins

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As you probably remember (but don’t care about), Kim Kardashian and Kanye West spent their REAL honeymoon in Mexico earlier this month, where they enjoyed some fun in the sun and Kim even got to swim with dolphins. Because the woman can’t do anything in her life without it being documented on video and with copious amounts of selfies, we got to see some of her fun at Vallarta Adventures’ Dolphin Adventure and frankly, I’m a bit jealous. DOLPHINS!

It’s actually stuff like this that lulls me into a false sense of believing that Kim could be a semi-normal person. And then I remember who she is and all of that goes out the window. It does look like she had fun, though. Who wouldn’t when they’re swimming with dolphins?!

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Kim Kardashian threw North West a “Kidchella”-themed birthday party

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Growing up, I thought having my 8th birthday party at McDonald’s and playing in the ball pit was the SHIT and that I was living large. Turns out, that was nothing compared to the type of birthday parties North West, infamous 1-year-old daughter of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, will be having. Despite being an infant who will never remember any of this, her parents threw her a “Kidchella”-themed shindig complete with carnival rides, food stands and Aunt Khloe in a controversial headdress (???).

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From US Weekly:

In addition to the ferris wheel, there was a big bounce house for kids, as well as various food stands for lemonade, sno-cones, funnel cake, churros, and cotton candy.

“Kim was holding North a lot of the time, and the party seemed to be geared towards a little bit older kids,” an eyewitness tells Us Weekly. “But it was a family party with all ages, and no matter what age they were, they were having a great time. There was so much to do.”

Perhaps unsurprisingly, there are no actual photos of North West being at this party, so who knows if she even was? Either way, I think it’s pretty clear this was just an excuse for the adults to have fun rather than the kids. That’s okay, too, obviously – I love carnivals! – but why even bother to call it a birthday party?

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Annie Leibovitz was never actually confirmed for Kim & Kanye’s wedding

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Another day, another case of Kanye West running his mouth about shit he knows nothing about. You know how he ranted about spending 4 days perfecting his and Kim‘s wedding picture since Annie Leibovitz pulled out just days before the big event? Uh, turns out Annie was never confirmed for the job in the first place. Nice try, though!

From TMZ:

So … Annie’s just sent us a long, rambling statement which also contains comments from Kanye — and it never directly addresses the “afraid of celebrity” comment.

The rep says Kanye was frustrated he couldn’t “collaborate with Annie” but he’s not blaming her for bailing …. even though his comment sure sounds like blame.

The rep says, “Unbeknownst to Kanye, she was never confirmed.”  Annie’s rep adds, “she would have loved to have taken their wedding portrait and was disappointed it didn’t happen.”

And get this … the statement says Annie is responsible for shooting Kim and Kanye’s Vogue cover, but she’s “not known to shoot weddings.”  It sounds like she wasn’t really into doing it in the first place.”

And get this BJ … Kanye says, “The most-liked Instagram photo of all time, shot by Annie Leibovitz.  Oh, I’m sorry for dreaming out loud.  Again.”

So… basically Kanye was just butthurt he didn’t get his way so he whinged about it (and lied in the process), making him look like an awfully poor sport. Sounds about right.

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Kim Kardashian says she’ll be in the “honeymoon phase” with Kanye forever

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Kim Kardashian is in Cannes at the moment for the Cannes Lions International Creativity Festival or whatever the hell it’s called. If that seems like a disconnect – as in, why is Kim, who ostensibly has very little brain power, at an event which honours just that? No one knows, but she never misses a chance to put on a tight dress and have her picture taken, so here we are.

First of all, let’s discuss this dress. No shade on Kim because she’s got a great voluptuous shape (and that’s not even an underhanded compliment – I use voluptuous kindly), but this dress is horrendous. She looks like an encased sausage, and that’s not a good look on anyone. I want to like it! I like the colour, I like the intricate rope work, but it just doesn’t do anything for her.

Second of all, I’m just going to leave you with this quote about her marriage to Kanye, which, according to her, is much like a Katy Perry song and will go on forever and ever:

‘I feel as though we’ll always be in the honeymoon period. We always say we really like to treat each other like it’s our birthday.

‘I try to treat him like it’s his birthday every single day. I think we’ll always be like that.

‘We always try to make life as fun and enjoyable as possible.

‘We do travel, and work really hard, when we’re together – and even when we’re apart, we’re always on the phone 24/7 – just trying to make that time as memorable as possible.’

I dunno, guys – I feel like their marriage actually MIGHT last. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: they’re just narcissistic enough for each other. Together, their egos can fill up every room in their mansion. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

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