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Kim Kardashian

0Kim Kardashian Giving Birth Was Part of ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians’, Of Course

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Nothing is sacred in Kim Kardashian‘s life, clearly. Not her baby, not her engagement, nothing. Since Kourtney gave birth on camera (I seriously almost just typed “kamera”), Kim couldn’t be outshined and while she didn’t spread her legs for E!, her phone conversation with Khloe was featured in which Kim explained she was being forced to deliver several weeks early due to complications. Here’s a bit of it:

“I’m trying to stay as calm as possible. I have something called toxemia… I just have really high blood pressure and [the doctor] says my liver is shutting down. The only way to get rid of it is to deliver the baby. Basically, I have to deliver the baby today.”

Kim is also seen in the hospital in the episode, talking to her stomach, prepping to give birth, waiting for Kanye… surprise fucking surprise. Seriously, is there anything this family won’t film? Yes, take videos… but maybe for your own private collection to look back on when North gets older instead of making it for a TV show that’s shown around the world? I mean, Jesus Christ.

I know this is sort of a non-story since there’s no video here, but this woman just infuriates me. The entire family needs to be sent to a far-off planet where televisions don’t exist.

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October 29, 2013 at 10:30 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Kim Kardashian

2Kim Kardashian Will Do Whatever Kanye West Wants For Their Wedding

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OH GOD, we’re STILL talking about this. Someone make it stop! Kim Kardashian is churning out soundbite after soundbite about her recent engagement to Kanye West and how “magical” and wonderful and special it all is. Well, now she’s even said that she’ll do whatever Kanye wants when it comes to their wedding. Well, we see who wears the pants here.

She told People (via DS):

“We honestly haven’t had a moment to talk about it or even breathe, so we haven’t really talked about it, but whatever he wants.”

Lovely. It’s always great when one person calls the shots in a relationship that’s being orchestrated like some large scale art experiment, I suppose. Oh, and here’s Kim’s thoughts on how she “definitely” wants more kids (as told to Extra):

“[Becoming a parent is] everything you could ever imagine and more. It’s the best feeling [and] it’s the most rewarding job. I recommend everyone go through the process.”

Yes, it certainly is a rewarding job – especially when it’s the only job you’ve ever had in your life, and not even one you do on your own, considering how readily and easily you leave little North with a nanny/the rest of your wack ass family.

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October 28, 2013 at 9:30 am by Jennifer

0Kim Kardashian Is Going To “Honor” Bruce Jenner In Her Wedding

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Kim Kardashian is going to “honor” Bruce Jenner in her wedding to Kanye West…by asking him to walk her down the aisle. Just like he did when she married Kris Humphries. Even though Jenner wasn’t invited to her “surprise engagement.” Here’s more from TMZ:

Kim considers Bruce to be her dad, and she always planned on having him give her away …

Sources tell us as far as Kim is concerned … it doesn’t matter what Bruce’s relationship is with Kris … she would never consider excluding Bruce from such a position of honor.

… As TMZ first reported … Bruce was not invited to the surprise engagement — it’s still unclear whether Kanye or Kris made that decision — although it seems like it was Kris.

This nutty family! Hey, whatever makes her and Bruce happy. And then Kanye. And then, very far down the list, after all the sisters, cousins, family friends, caterers, and valet people, Kris.

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October 26, 2013 at 10:30 am by Catherine St. Ives

1Kanye West Wants to Live In Heaven Forever with Kim Kardashian

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Oh God, shut UP already! How many more new soundbites about Kim and Kanye‘s relationship are we going to get before this actual wedding takes place? Because I can’t take many more. Now it’s been revealed that in an interview that took place just a few hours before Kanye popped the question, he told radio station KMEL that he’s never loved anyone more than he loves Kim (which explains why he always looks so miserable when he’s with her) and that he hopes they can work on their relationship with God together (God = fame/the paparazzi) and that he hopes they can also live together in heaven one day. Lawd almighty.

“I have never loved any girl – other than my mother – as much as I love my girlfriend. And I’m so happy to be with her, first to live this life together and with our relationship with God, to be able to live forever in heaven together too, and also to raise a family, a strong family, that communicates truth and beauty.”

If that’s not enough, Kanye also called Kim one of the top fashion designers in the world AND said that she’s helping him learn how to chill out and get along with the paps! HAHAHA!

On fashion:

“This girl is one of the number one designers in the world. I don’t know exactly what her numbers are, but Sears does something like $300m, $400m a year. She’s been spending her whole cheque on clothes since she was 16, just like me.”

On his social skills, after saying that he has tried to learn from Jay-Z in that area:

“God has now given me another master of the social skills, which is my girl. She’s like the number one socialite in the world, so she knows… She’s like, ‘Look, it’s not that serious, you can chill out’. Imagine the idea of me as Kanye West just learning to chill a little bit! That’s what I’ve been doing.”

Oh man. Everything that comes out of this guy’s mouth is golden. A golden pile of shit, but golden nonetheless. On second thought, maybe they shouldn’t shut up. The gems of Kimye are far too good.

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October 25, 2013 at 4:30 am by Jennifer

4Now It’s Time to Watch Kanye West Propose to Kim Kardashian

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Because nothing is sacred and because fame whores really know how to drag shit out for maximum exposure, we’ve slowly but surely got a very intimate look at Kanye West proposing marriage to Kim Kardashian. First it was just the details of what happened, then it was the pictures of Kim’s massive 15 carat rock on her hand and her “I’m marrying my best friend” soundbites, and now we’ve got an actual video of this shit. Couldn’t this just have been the only thing to come out? Of course not!

Now, I’m all for a bit of romance (even though I’m not for weddings, personally), but there’s nothing romantic about this. It’s all pomp and circumstance and almost like it was made for an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians rather than for two people who really love each other. I want to get behind these two because I think they’ll last – they’re both as fucked up as the other – but I just can’t.

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October 24, 2013 at 10:30 am by Jennifer

0Is Kim Kardashian the Luckiest Girl in the World?

kim kardashian kanye west

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West got engaged this past weekend for Kim’s 33rd birthday, and while most couples might want to live their lives privately, they wanted to make a show of it, of course. Kim has been showing off her ring and spouting off about how much of a dream come true it is to be marrying Kanye and I basically want to throw up.

From E! Online:

“Last night was truly magical!!! I am the luckiest girl in the world!” North West’s mama tells us. “I get to marry my best friend!”

Well, isn’t that special? I will say that I think these two are perfect for each other. Egomaniacal attention whores without the sense God gave them – have you ever heard more of a match made in heaven? I haven’t.

I truly think this one might last, guys. Plus, way to go Kimmy on two marriages in as many years (or is it three years? either way)!

Also, I can’t end this entry without mentioning this – former French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld compared Kim to Marilyn Monroe in a recent interview with Time Out. NOOOOOOO!

“You don’t see her [Kardashian] in parties drinking loads of alcohol. She’s controversial, but so was Marilyn Monroe and I always like controversial people.”

LOLOL FOREVER.

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October 23, 2013 at 11:30 am by Jennifer