Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Khloe Kardashian

Apparently “Kardashian Phobia” is a real thing

mike

Well, there’s a whole new illness on the block, and this one is particularly hilarious/strange/bizarrely fitting. Apparently retail assistant Mike Amess has a severe phobia of the entire Kardashian family to the point of becoming ill whenever he so much as sees a picture of them. HAHAHA! Here’s the scoop from The Daily Mail (PLEASE read the whole thing – this is so hilarious):

He breaks out in a cold sweat whenever he sees or hears the famous family and says the sight of a semi-naked Kim even makes him vomit with disgust.

The 24-year-old from Exeter explains, ‘Just hearing the sound of the Kardashians’ nasal voices or catching a glimpse of them on screen makes me feel nauseous and shaky. My hands get clammy, my breathing gets heavier and I start sweating. Sometimes, I get teary and want to retch.’

Apparently this phobia started with having watched Kim‘s sex tape, which “repulsed” him – and not just because he’s gay.

‘I really wanted to be aroused by her so I kept watching it but she made me feel more and more upset. By the end of the tape, I had burst into tears. The experience left me terrified and I never wanted to see Kim’s face again. I have come to terms with my homosexuality now but my dread towards her has never left.’Mike says that his phobia has got worse since Kim’s fame skyrocketed and his fear now extends to the whole Kardashian family.

He explains, ‘Kim and her sisters look and sound so similar – they’re a mess. They make my stomach churn, I hate it. I dislike everything about them, especially their physical appearance. I don’t understand how anyone could find them attractive. I can’t stand their voices either. They’re so whiny and shrill – it really gets under my skin.’

LOL. He’s also really upset because he “misses out” on important celebrity gossip because he’s afraid he’ll have to see a picture of one of the Kardashians and he’ll throw up again, the way he did when he saw the ‘Bound 2′ video for the first time:

He says, ‘One day, I was lazing about on the sofa in front of the TV. I was skipping through music channels and that video came on.

Seeing Kim naked, with her boobs bouncing about like that brought back memories of that horrendous sex tape. It was like reliving that incident all over again.

‘Before I knew it, I was sweating like a pig and throwing up. When I hear ‘Bound 2′ on the radio now, I have to switch the station immediately.’

I just can’t with this guy. Also, he blames his single status on the Kardashians and even had to break-up with a former boyfriend because of his fear. Like, WHAT? Oh, and he can’t seek doctor’s help because he knows he’d get laughed out of the office. This is the best story (and the most full of bullshit story) EVER. Also, how great is it that his last name is “Amess”? He can say that shit again.

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Khloe Kardashian still isn’t over Lamar Odom

khloe kardashian

Shit went sour between Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom real quick. His crack addiction got out of control, that video of him rapping nasty things about her was released and it wasn’t long before divorce papers were filed. It was all pretty messed up, and I actually thought Khlomar could make it, but it was unfortunately not meant to be.

While Khloe knows she made the right decision in ending their marriage, she admitted in a new interview with Australia’s 2Day FM Breakfast with the Stars show that she’s still not really over it.

“It’s definitely not anything I’m through. I’m going through it, but I’m not through it.”

Well, that’s about right. It hasn’t even been a year since this all went down, so of course it’s going to still be fresh.

Side note: on my flight to LA last week I happened to catch the few episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians where the marriage was going south and Kim staged an intervention and fake cried about how hard it is to see Khloe going through all of this. Yes, it’s hard to watch a legit relationship fall apart, isn’t it, Kim? You know she didn’t shed a tear when she got rid of Kris Humphreys!

Anyway, Khloe is still the best Kardashian, the end.

Khloe Kardashian Got Naked For Her First Vine Post

khloe

Khloe Kardashian doesn’t have much going on right now, it seems. The Game has publicly denied being at all involved with (or even interested in) her and has instead admitted that he’s already fucked her sister. Her old house with her soon-to-be crackhead ex-husband was recently robbed and she has a fat brother. What’s there for a girl to do besides join Vine and get topless for her first video?

“Khlomoney” posted the following clip yesterday with zero explanation, so I’ll just leave this here. What’s with this family’s need for perpetual attention?

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