Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kevin Jonas

LOL! Is Kevin Jonas Still a Virgin?

Kevin Jonas and His Wife Don't Sleep Together

Oh wow! This is my favorite thing I’ve read all week! According to a source who spoke to InTouch Magazine, 22-year old JoBro Kevin and his wifey Danielle are still sleeping in separate beds. Yeah. No. That’s wont fuel any gay rumors at all, Kevin. Good people you have around you reporting that to magazines.

Apparently sexy stuff isn’t the issue, though. Kevin a saws logs all night long. You know, he “snores”:

From InTouch:

They’ve only been married for five months, but Kevin Jonas and his wife, Danielle Deleasa, are already sleeping in separate beds. According to a friend of the couple’s, when it comes to their sleeping arrangements, the honeymoon is over. But it’s not what you think — the problem is that Kevin, 22, snores like a freight train! “Kevin and Danielle had never spent a night together until their wedding night, so she had no clue that he snores so loudly,” the insider explains. “She loves her husband, but now she sleeps in a guest room when he gets too noisy.” “They are still crazy about each other,” says the pal. “But the snoring has become a big joke for their friends.”

Damn. I dated a snorer for two and a half years and while it’s definitely not cute, I only had to take to the couch twice because it was too much to bear. Why doesn’t Kevin sink some of his Jonas money into some snore strips so he can sleep next to his wife?

Joe Jonas Does it By Himself

joe jonas performs onstage

… And with his ever-present purity ring, would you expect it any other way?

Yeah. Anyway. Joe Jonas claims that he’s going to release a solo album, so it looks like the days of the JoBros are quickly coming to a close:

“There’s nothing to hide. We’re just waiting for the right timing. There’s a lot of Jonas stuff going on this year, so once there’s a place for that record, we’ll release it. You’ll hear a lot of new music from us.”

See, when I was a much younger girl, I loved Hanson. I mean, I fucking loved Hanson. I was one of those pathetic little fangirls that’d get all crazy when I saw televised appearances of the flaxen-haired singing trio and I’d cry if I’d see them in person (which I did, many, many times). I was sick; it was a sickness. I went to their concerts, made scrapbooks of news articles that I had clipped from magazines and played their music, like, incessantly. It was bad, and it’s embarrassing now, but I can really feel for the girls who are so wrapped on the Jonas thing — it’d be like Isaac (yeah, my totally favorite dorky-assed Hanson that I so would have married at the age of thirteen) announcing that he was leaving the band back in 1995 or whatever. I’d have been devastated, so I totally feel you kids of today’s world. I feel you.

Kevin and Nick Jonas Found a Body on The Beach

…while filming a scene for their television in Malibu! Uh! Got you guys! LOL! You really thought they found a dead body on the beach and I waited until roughly 2:30 in the afternoon to post about it? Please, homegirl has SOME journalistic integrity. I know that the JoBros fumbling around with a dead body on the beach would be a way bigger story than the Vicki Gunvalson adulterous make-out story. Jeez! Anyway! Check out these photos. Kevin looks like a dork.