Yes, much like a girl I knew when I was 18, and also another girl I knew when I was 18, Kelsey Grammer got a tattoo on his hip. You can see the proof in that moderately disturbing photo up there. Look at his expression. And, in case you missed it, what’s with that bulge in his jeans? I don’t know, you guys. I don’t know about all this.

But what tattoo did Kelsey get? Why, it’s the name of his latest wife, Kayte Walsh! Here’s what it looks like:

That ended up on Kelsey’s hip in blue ink. There’s no word yet on if he got the design embellished with hearts and stars at the last minute or not.

And just for good measure, here’s a story about the tattooing where Kelsey Grammer is a douchebag and the tattoo artist’s grandmother is hilarious:

“He was pretty cool about it,” said Bob Jones, owner of Insight Studios, which has been open at 1062 N. Milwaukee since 2005. “He said it was his first tattoo and he did some research and said, ‘You guys seemed to be the best place to go.’ ”

A 21-year-old employee who works at the front counter at the shop was apparently unaware of his fame.

When Grammer walked to the counter, she said, “ ‘Can I get your ID, please?’ ” Jones said. “He was like, ‘Huh?’ [She said,] ‘Yeah, I need your ID.’ He said, ‘OK.’ She came back to me and said, ‘Is this guy famous or something? He looked at me kind of funny when I asked for his ID.’ ”

Tattoo artist James Eastwood’s 72-year-old grandmother, Christine Darbo, was accompanying a friend planning to get a tattoo when they started chatting with the former “Cheers” and “Frasier” star and his wife.

“They were just normal people. We were talking about tattoos,” said Darbo, a Wheaton plant saleswoman who has two tattoos. “He said, ‘I’m going to get Kayte’s name.’ My friend asked, ‘So how long have you been dating that he wanted to tattoo your name?’ She said, ‘We are married.’ I figured with his background he should just put a ‘K’ with a period to give him some flexibility.”

Oh man, you guys. It’s going to be hard to top this story for me today. I’ll cross my fingers for something about Jennifer Lawrence or another funny interview with Rihanna, but I’m really worried that I used all of my giggles for today on this one.

What do you think about all this?

I know, I know, this might be hard for you to understand. But since we’ve been talking about theme songs already today, I figured we’d take a break from loving Jennifer Lawrence and checking out Miley Cyrus’ boobs and talk about something really relevant: the theme song from Frasier.

You remember it, right? There’s probably not a whole lot of remembering to do, because the last time I had cable, I remember reruns being on constantly and taking up some valuable Golden Girls time. And I never really liked the show, but I did catch it more than once, and I remember always being mystified by the theme song. “What do tossed salads and scrambled eggs have to do with anything?” I would wonder. A couple of years ago, I even tried to look it up. I took actual time out of my life to look up the meaning of the Frasier theme song, that’s how much it drove me crazy.

But hey, no worries! The songwriter just explained everything!

Having been the composer on a show called “Wings”, I was asked by the creator’s of that show to try to come up with a song for their next effort….that is to submit as one of three submissions for the “prize” in a blindfold test to chose the one they liked best!

I was told they wanted something pretty eclectic and jazzy, but to avoid any direct references to specific subject matter. So it was necessary to stay away from words about psychiatry, radio shows, the name “Frasier”, and anything else directly indicating aspects of the show.

I immediately wrote the song/music itself, but then needed a lyric that would work, so I called my friend Darryl Phinnesse who is really talented and really smart. I gave him the idea of the show and he called back with the idea of “Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs”. At first I was a bit baffled myself until he explained that these were things that were “mixed up”….like Frasier Crane’s patients. Once we agreed on this premise (by the time I fully understood it), we went into completing the song. I actually did contribute a couple lines, but the heavy lifting here was Darryl, and lucky for me that I went to him to him in the first place.

“Hey baby I hear the blues a-callin”-refers to patients with troubles calling into the radio show
“Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs”
“But maybe I seem a bit confused”-Frasier’s personality was a bit????
“Maybe, but I got you pegged”-Frasier does understand these people and helps them.
“But I don’t know what to do with those Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs”-it’s a tough business….gotta deal with these “crazies” every day.
“They’re calling again”-oh, oh….should be self explanatory.

And there you have it! Mystery solved! I feel about a million times better about the world, and I thought you might feel the same. We’ll get back to our regular business of sarcasm and worshipping Ryan Gosling shortly!

I just don’t ‘get’ some people. Take Kelsey Grammer, for instance. I just don’t understand how his third wife—you know, the Real Housewife, the stinky one—ever managed to incur so much ire and wrath from Kelsey Grammer.

But somehow she did, and even these days, even when Kelsey Grammer is trying to say lovey-dovey things about his latest wife, he invariably manages to end up talking about Wife #3, too, if accidentally. In October, he told Piers Morgan all about his divorce, all about how Real Housewives was his “parting gift to her.”

Most recently, on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Grammer copped to going on his first date with Kayte Walsh while he was yet a married man. He didn’t word-for-word say “I started dating my current wife six months before I filed for divorce from my last wife,” but it’s all in there anyway. Why? Why would this ever be a thing you would decide to share on television, even?

The Daily Mail:

Kelsey Grammer has confessed that he began an affair with his new wife Kayte Walsh a full six months before splitting with Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Camille.

The Frasier star, 56, spoke out on Jimmy Kimmel Live about how he met and fell for the British flight attendant when she served him on a plane in December 2009.

He claimed that after meeting on the flight they spent a “magical night” together in London.

He told the chat show host: “We actually met in the air on a plane to England.

“It was very romantic, she was working on the plane.

“We went out for coffee several days later and had this magical night in the snow in London around Christmas time. It was two years ago.”

He did not tell his now ex-wife Camille, 43, who still goes by the name Grammer, that he wanted a divorce until June 2010, after a friend had informed her he was intending to leave.

The reality star claimed that Grammer then sent her a text message officially ending their relationship.

That’s, uh. That’s all really awful, actually. Not only did Kelsey Grammer probably cheat on Camille, he probably cheated all over Camille. Yuck.

What really ruffles me is how heroic Grammer lets himself feel about all this. “Oh, I decided to do the right thing and let Camille go. I let her go, but also I’d been seeing this flight attendant I met on a plane one time, and I married this new lady seven months after I filed for divorce.” Yeah! Affairs are totally OK when the marriage is “already over.” Hooray! That’s so heroic I could scream.

(Image via New York Daily News.)

But really, would you? Because Kelsey Grammer says that his beef jerkey-scented ex, Camille did, and personally, I feel like that’s a really questionable desire:

Camille asked for a divorce really almost the first day we were married. If you say you want a divorce enough times, you’re going to get one. I think what I was trying to do was sell it to myself. There was this small voice in the back of my head saying, ‘This isn’t going to work.’ But I stuck to it.

She married me because I was Frasier.

I have to tell you, the Real Housewives was my parting gift to her. It was my way of saying, ‘Look, you always wanted to be famous. Here you go.’ I remember having one conversation where I said, ‘Well, don’t worry about it. After the first season, you can do the Divorced Wives of Beverly Hills next season.

I think it would just be so gross and awful to marry Frasier though. Is that just me? And I’m not talking Kelsey Grammer, otherwise “gross and awful” would be a given, I’m talking the character of Frasier. I hate the hell out of that show, and I don’t think it has anything to do with the fact that sometimes it comes on instead of Golden Girls.

I know there’s a lot of negativity in this story, so let’s talk about a positive real quick: how sweet was it of Kelsey to let Camille do Real Housewives? What a gift! I’m sure she must be just ever so thankful, right?

FROM: Kelsey Grammer
TO: Everybody in Kelsey Grammer’s Address Book
SUBJECT: Camille smells like beef jerkey
EMAIL TEXT: goodnight

Oh, no! Kelsey is so humiliated and completely sorry you received that email last night — the one with the subject line about how his ex-wife Camille smells like beef jerky — but he super-promises he wasn’t the one who sent it.

Eh. Sounds to me like somebody staggered home late at night, fired off a nonsensical email about his ex, and blacked out. Now that’s a story I can identify with.

Nonetheless, Page Six is reporting that Grammer was “hacked” by a “prankster.” That report conflicts with Grammer’s own version of the story, which is so much more banal: although the email account is in Grammer’s name, it’s a “shared account,” and “third parties” can access it.

Grammer emailed his contact list a curt non-apology, writing, “May I suggest it is ‘they’ who owe you an apology.” Did you read it in a haughty Frasier Voice? I know I did.

Whatever. Own your mistake, Kelsey Grammer! If you’re willing to sign your name to anything and everything your friends are sending from “your” email address, you obviously need to find better friends.

What I’m really saying is, stop giving all your passwords to this guy:

(more…)

As we all know, Kelsey and Camille Grammer are dunzo, but what’s going to happen to their two young children? If Kelsey has his way, it’s going to be one of the most untraditional (in a totally bad way) custody agreements I’ve ever heard of.

Camille said publicly that Kelsey seemed to be interested in splitting their two children up, with him taking their 6-year-old son to live in Chicago and leaving his 9-year-old daughter behind in California. While Kelsey initially denied that he ever said this (because who in their right mind would publicly admit to favoring one of his children and leaving the other behind to live with her mother) but now there’s legal proof that this is the arrangement Kelsey’s hoping for.

From TMZ:

The letter, dated April 29, 2011, says “Kelsey proposes … Kelsey shall have primary physical custody of Jude and Camille shall have primary physical custody of Mason.”  The letter says Kelsey wants to enroll 6-year-old Jude in a Chicago school.

So there you have it. Frasier is an asshole and I’d like to start a pool on when we think young Mason is going to wind up in the slammer for the first time. I’m guessing like, 3 weeks before his 18th birthday? Drug charges, perhaps?