Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kelly Clarkson

Congrats to Kelly Clarkson!!!

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I don’t even know why, but, for the past few days, I’ve just been listening to Kelly Clarkson’s “My Life Would Suck Without You” and Pink’s “Sober” over and over and over again on a loop in Rhapsody. They’re both just kick-ass songs that I can’t get enough of. And clearly the rest of the country agrees, as Kelly will have the #1 single in the country this week.

She’s also setting the record for the largest jump to the #1 spot. She debuted at #97 last week.

Her full album drops March 17, and I cannot wait!!!!

Quotables

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“They have definitely photo-shopped the crap out of me…” 

Kelly Clarkson taking to her blog to share her new album cover.  Can I just take this moment to publicly claim my love for her?  I’m letting go of the shame and just admitting it.

Do You Still Care About Kelly Clarkson?

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It’s funny, because I came home tonight from a verrrry long Arizona day — seriously I went to a Cardinals game and then out for drinks with friends and somehow it was immensely stressful, but that’s what being home does to me — and I really felt like listening to Kelly Clarkson’s My December, so I brought it up on Rhapsody and started rocking out to it. I don’t care what anyone says, I like that album. And then I’m flipping through the news trying to see if there’s anything important I missed because apparently I am very out of the loop when it comes to anything not involving celebrities. It’s funny, most of the friends I went out for drinks with tonight are in banking, and we all have very similar educations and backgrounds and somewhere along the way I took a sharp left turn and wound up in celebrity gossip instead of M&A, and I’m grateful for it, but everyone’s chatting all about Bernard Madoff and Ponzi schemes and the attacks in Gaza and I’m just like “Uhhh … Lindsay Lohan’s boot are awesome. They have a very high ROI, if you measure ROI in awesomeness. More champagne, anyone?” So I thought I’d come home, put on some Kelly Clarkson, and try to catch up on the real world. What I found instead? An article about how Kelly Clarkson is releasing a new single in January.

The original American Idol’s last album, My December, and subsequent tour didn’t exactly strike a chord with fans—at least in comparison with her 2004 smash, Breakaway.

The songbird is set to launch a new single, “My Life Would Suck Without You,” in January, followed by a new album dropping in March. This comes nearly a year after her fourth album was rumored to debut. Tracks from that attempt were leaked and the recording was abandoned as Clarkson went on tour with Reba McEntire.

See?

The universe doesn’t want me to be well-rounded.

Anyway, I have to be honest, I’m psyched about this. I hope her single’s good and I will definitely be checking out her album. I’m still rooting for Kelly.

Britney Spears Finally Has a Manager

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Manager Jeff Kwatinez may have been frustrated by Kelly Clarkson’s refusal to listen to the advice of Clive Davis, but at least Kelly doesn’t have a reputation for cleaning up her dog’s poop with Chanel dresses, urinating on-set with the bathroom door open, flaking out on her commitments, and, you know, doing cocaine all the time.

But, for whatever reason, Mr. Kwatinez, who was fired by Kelly last month, feels he’s prepared to take on Britney Spears, and has recently agreed to sign on as her manager. Britney’s been without any formal management for several months now — some say because no one’s willing to work with her — and her career has spiraled even further downward, with the recently divorced popstar getting into screaming matches with the paparazzi and walking out on interviews.

Jeff has been tasked with resurrecting Britney’s career, but he’s going to have to resurrect her life first.