4Britney Spears Finally Has a Manager

Manager Jeff Kwatinez may have been frustrated by Kelly Clarkson’s refusal to listen to the advice of Clive Davis, but at least Kelly doesn’t have a reputation for cleaning up her dog’s poop with Chanel dresses, urinating on-set with the bathroom door open, flaking out on her commitments, and, you know, doing cocaine all the time.

But, for whatever reason, Mr. Kwatinez, who was fired by Kelly last month, feels he’s prepared to take on Britney Spears, and has recently agreed to sign on as her manager. Britney’s been without any formal management for several months now — some say because no one’s willing to work with her — and her career has spiraled even further downward, with the recently divorced popstar getting into screaming matches with the paparazzi and walking out on interviews.

Jeff has been tasked with resurrecting Britney’s career, but he’s going to have to resurrect her life first.

August 6, 2007 at 2:11 pm by Evil Beet

17You Know, For All The Shit Kelly Clarkson’s Taken Over the Past Few Months, Her Album Is Still Totally Going to Be #1 on the Charts

And, frankly, it’s not a bad album.

My December was released in the U.S. on Tuesday, and I finally had some time tonight to sit down and give it a listen. I had that time because I was waiting for utorrent to finish downloading Live Free or Die Hard onto my computer baking a cake for my grandma. Anyway, despite the heavily publicized battle between Clarkson and RCA crypt-keeper Clive Davis, the album is already #1 on the U.S. and Canadian iTunes charts (in fact, the NY Post even suggests that battle was just “manufactured edge”) and will probably debut at #1 on the U.S. charts next week.

So the album? It’s not my favorite of the Clarkson offerings, and it’s certainly less catchy than most of what you’ll find on Breakaway or Thankful, but it’s angry, it’s empowered, and it’s grown-up, and I’ll take that Kelly Clarkson over the one who was singing “I hate myself for losing you” on the previous album. I liked “Never Again” from the start, “Sober,” is, ironically, quite addictive, and the bonus track “Irvine” is both chilling and warm. Critical response has been lukewarm, and rightly so, but Kelly has a strong fan base and a good reputation in the industry, and I hope she ends up on top.

June 30, 2007 at 10:44 pm by Evil Beet

11Why Is Kelly Clarkson So Mad?

A wonderful little news bite from AP has just come down the pike regarding our gal pal Kelly Clarkson. Let’s break this thing down because you’re going to dig it, I promise.

NEW YORK (AP) — Kelly Clarkson, who rails against a former flame in her new song “Never Again,” says she’s never been in love.

Fair enough. I guess. No, wait a sec here, she’s 25 right? Hmmm. Something seems off. I mean, did she go to high school? Shouldn’t she have exchanged cheesy poems or furtive probing glances in AP U.S. History with someone? Perhaps I’m giving away too much of my youth here so let’s just move on.

“I love my friends and family,” the Grammy-winning singer and original “American Idol” tells Elle magazine in its July issue. “But I have never said the words ‘I love you’ to anyone in a romantic relationship. Ever.”

Yowsers. Is she a machine? Is she a cyborg? I mean, later, after the relationship is all over because he/she was caught with your best friend/ brother in the bathroom/porn studio that’s when you question whether or not you were ever actually in love. But when you’re in the relationship you’ve got to throw out an L bomb every once in awhile, right? Am I crazy here? And where do you get off writing about anything if you ain’t never been in love? It’s the damn focal point of all art the whole world ’round! Whew. I don’t know why I’m shouting. Sorry. I’ll simmer.

More after the break! (more…)

June 12, 2007 at 9:07 pm by Spiteful Lars

12Kelly Clarkson’s New Album Online Now

Despite her ongoing feud with label head Clive Davis (which is far too tedious and retarded — on his part — for me to cover on this blog), the former Idol has moved forward with her new album, My December, most of which she wrote herself. You’ve probably heard the first single, “Never Again,” on the radio by now, but there are three new tracks that you can preview up at AOL Music:”Sober,” “Maybe,” and “Can I Have a Kiss.” They’re a slight deviation from the pre-packaged, teen-friendly pop tracks she’s put out on her previous albums — they’re more raw, and seem to be intensely personal — but I really like them, and I hope her album does well. The poll up at AOL Music has 75% of listeners voting “It’s awesome, love it” for the album, so hopefully it will.

May 30, 2007 at 3:08 pm by Evil Beet

0Plenty O’ Lohan News

It’s been at least six hours since I’ve reported or thought about Lindsay Lohan so my internal bell is going off like crazy.

Luckily I have not one, but TWO Lohan related stories to impart to you today.

First off, Kelly Clarkson was approached by her record label to cover a Lindsay Lohan song. Now if that’s not a bad sign for your career I don’t know what is. I mean, it’s not like Lohan has set the pop charts on fire has she?

“My label literally sent me a Lindsay Lohan track from her last album and wanted me to record it for my new album,” Clarkson, 25, tells MTV News.

I’m not a Clarkson fan (too much Guarini in me for that) but I can see Kelly’s point here. She’s already really toeing the line as far as street cred goes, I can’t imagine the fun DJs would have had with her covering a LL song. Oh wait, I can imagine. It’s a lot of fun they would have been having. Kelly wisely vetoed the notion.

Next up, Lindsay Lohan has topped Maxim’s Hot 100. This is certainly good news for her career as it again proves just how seriously people take her looks, body, et al. One funny blurb about the list:

Ashley Olsen, half of the mogul acting twins, placed 37th, while sister Mary-Kate didn’t make the cut.

Nice! Mary-Kate, you are well on your way to being that other Hilton sister. Which, all things considered, is not a bad thing at all.

See you in a few hours Lindsay!

May 15, 2007 at 8:21 am by Spiteful Lars

120Now I Understand Why It’s Taken So Long for Kelly Clarkson to Release a New Album

Clearly, she kept eating the master tapes.

At the ASCAP Pop Awards in Hollywood on Wednesday night.

April 18, 2007 at 9:46 pm by Evil Beet