25So, Ke$ha’s Nude Oral Sex Pictures Surfaced Today

Just in time for dinner, too. I’m not sure if I could be more repulsed if I tried – and I tried, guys. I tried so hard to scrub the branded image of a nekkid-from-the-waist-down Ke$ha in the throes of lust from my mind by attempting a half-assed fantasy involving Octo-Mom, Mel Gibson, Steve Buscemi, a link of sausage and a Snuggie, and even that couldn’t stack up to these photos which are now forever burned into the many intricate layers of my psyche.

I was going to make some shrimp scampi for dinner tonight, you guys, but after this? But I don’t know if shellfish is such a good idea after this – this could turn me off shrimp forever.

Jump in to see The Photo.

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December 14, 2010 at 3:00 pm by Sarah

7Love It or Leave It: Ke$ha’s Underwear-Lookin’ Bikini

When I first saw these photos, I was like, ‘Damn, Ke$ha. You so cutting edge, wearing your matching Walmart bra and panty set to the beach for a day of frolicking.’

Then I realized, no, this time it’s for real. This is Ke$ha’s bathing suit. Her ‘bikini,’ if you will.

It’s all Ke$ha, all the time, in this here suit. That’s about all I’ve got*.

*Psych! No it’s not … How the fuck old is this chick, really?

November 10, 2010 at 2:00 pm by Sarah

2Ke$ha Name Drops Jeffrey Dahmer on Her New Album

What’s that, celebrity gossip world?  Nothing much is going on so you’re going to force me to write a Ke$ha story two days in a row? Well, that’s quite the burden, but I suppose I can manage.

As if Ke$ha’s first album wasn’t enough of an eternal gift to the world of music, she’s all set to release a follow-up, Cannibal, in a couple weeks.  I’m expecting another album full of anthems for liquor and clubbing, but it looks like things have gone a little darker this time around, and some people are not into it.  Not even a little bit.

Here are some of the lyrics to the title track:

“Whenever you tell me I’m pretty/That’s when the hunger really hits me/Your little heart goes pitter patter/I want your liver on a platter/Use your finger to stir my tea/And for dessert I’ll suck your teeth/Be too sweet and you’ll be a goner/Yeah, I’ll pull a Jeffrey Dahmer.”

You can listen to the song here (sidenote:  listen for Ke$ha to use the word “anus,” it’s classy stuff) and let me know what you guys think.   Personally, I can see why people are upset – Dahmer’s not really a guy you want to bring up in your popular music – but I’m not so up in arms myself.  I mean, it’s not like she’s treading in GG Allin waters or anything.

November 7, 2010 at 11:57 am by Emily

3Ke$ha Never Fails to Amaze

Ke$ha just did a little interview and photo shoot with BlackBook, and once again I just want to snatch her up, take her out of the music industry and take her into my gay bar.  Because that’s where she really belongs, isn’t it, a shady little gay bar in Tennessee? Precisely.    Now let’s check out some of my new favorite Ke$ha-isms.

On what’s up with the dollar sign: “Anybody would get sick of that question, especially if you’re being asked 45 times every day, but I’m the asshole who put it there. I had no money when I chose it and, instead of wallowing in self-pity, I decided to use it as a statement of self-worth.”

On her Hot Mess status: “Am I getting busted in Vegas for coke possession? Have I ever gotten a DUI? Do I hang my vagina out of my stretch Hummer? No, I’m just a fun motherfucker!”

On her living situation: “Maybe I’ll move out of my mom’s basement sometime soon, hopefully.”

On dating: “It’s completely impossible because I’m already kind of scary. Add to that the fact that I’m probably busier and more successful than they are. I’m always like, Dude, I’m your wet dream. I’m gone half the time and I don’t want an exclusive relationship. Let’s just hang out and be funny. We’ll bone and it’ll be great.”

And just like the middle-aged man who dances by himself and always wears a tracksuit to the gay bar, it’s been a long time coming, but I’m kind of starting to love her.  Again, not her music (and definitely not the dude’s dancing), but I can appreciate what she’s about.

November 6, 2010 at 12:34 pm by Emily

8Ke$ha Is Still The Classiest Broad Around

It’s been a while since I’ve seen any stories about Ke$ha, and it’s been upsetting me.  I’m not talking about new songs or music videos, because fuck that, I’m talking about “Guess Which Pop Star Got Photographed After Being Doused With Semen” stories.  But then I saw this video, and I tell you, it just turned my day right around.

I love it because of how real it is.  From the poor designated driver who wears that familiar look of “guys, can you please stop talking to these dudes, I just want to get home” to the way Ke$ha gets too overwhelmed with talking and just hangs her head down every once in a while, this could very easily be a clip from one of my nights down at the gay bar (because don’t paparazzi dudes often sound like guys at the bar who are just coming on way too strong?).  There’s even the friend who insists on talking to the guys even though it’s painfully clear that she is not the one they’re interested in.

My favorite part, of course, is when Ke$ha realizes that they’re about to drive away, so she shouts out the most brilliant exit line I’ve ever heard:  ”this is like a fucking buffet table of dicks.”  I plan on incorporating that line into my life straightaway.

October 14, 2010 at 1:10 pm by Emily

7Love It or Leave It: Ke$ha’s New Look

I’m not talking about the cute hat or the incredibly sparkling coat or the inexplicable blue feathers.  I’m not even talking about all of those things together.  I’m talking about the gold tooth.

On one hand, it’s a little silly.  A gold tooth, Ke$ha, really, that’s the look you’re going for?  But on the other hand, I get it.  It sort of fits together nicely with the whole gold Trans Am, whiskey-loving, “I don’t take myself very seriously. I don’t think I should or could” thing she has going on, and you just have to turn on a radio to see that it’s working for her.

For me, I would leave the gold tooth in a Public Enemy music video where it belongs.  For Ke$ha, I think it’s just right.  What about you guys?

August 18, 2010 at 11:02 am by Emily