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Katy Perry

19Quotables: Katy Perry Is Made of Unicorns and Care Bears

A photo of Katy Perry

“I’m not going to sit and be steamrolled; I’m going to stand up against things that are unjust. I am full of unicorns and Care Bears 99 percent of the time, but don’t open Pandora’s Box of that other 1 percent — because it’s there!”

- Katy Perry wants you to know that she is not to be messed with.

You guys, I have never felt so close to a celebrity in all my life. Sure, I still think that Katy Perry is annoying and dumb and just ridiculous, but I feel her so hard right here. I don’t know if you knew, but I’m kind of not a real person. For instance, I cried twice this past Saturday – once because I was watching Dogs 101 and there was this sweet story about a sheepdog, and once because my boyfriend took me to see his family’s farm and there was a baby horse – and, listen, I love unicorns. I love them. And also, I, too, have a Pandora’s Box inside my soul. Most recently, it’s been opened by this fly who just won’t leave my bedroom and keeps trying to play with me while I try to sleep. Even my ferocious screams of “I’m going to kill you with my BEAR HANDS” followed by relentless attacks with my hands raised like bear claws do nothing to deter it.

Well, that’s enough about me. How are you guys feeling about Katy Perry today?

September 21, 2011 at 5:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Katy Perry

2Katy Perry’s on the Cover of Cosmo and I’m Confused

photo of katy perry cosmo australia cover october 2011 pictures interview photos pics

Where’d her pink hair go? Her blonde hair? Her orange hair? Did I miss something, or did the editors of Cosmo Australia think that she was too trashy looking to grace the cover of their magazine without the black hair, too? I don’t know about you guys, but Katy Perry wasn’t Katy Perry at all when she had the odd-colored hair. When she was natural, she made me think of Americana and Betty Page and apple pie and sexy picnics with red-and-white checkerboard patterned tablecloths all spread out like legs, but with the funk unnaturally-colored hair, she just … kinda looks like the crappy Wendy’s-working townie that I slept with in college. Rather, that you slept with in college. Sorry, I get us confused sometimes.

September 15, 2011 at 2:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Katy Perry

0One Last Thing From the VMAs, and Then I’ll Stop

A picture of Justin Bieber photobombing Russell Brand at Katy Perry at the 2011 VMAs

Katy Perry and hubby Russell Brand were just trying to take a nice, classy photograph together, when suddenly they were photobombed by the Biebs, who was sitting a row away at the 2011 VMAs.

Haw, haw! He’s so crazy-eyed! This actually makes me really like the little squirt.

August 30, 2011 at 5:30 am by Jenn

6Is Katy Perry as Successful as Michael Jackson?

A photo of Katy Perry

Yes. Yes, she is. Let’s take a weeping break, all right?

This is how this works. See, Katy Perry has released five singles from her second album, Teenage Dream: “California Gurls,” “Teenage Dream,” “Firework,” “E.T.,” and “Last Friday Night.” And every single one of those singles has reached the number one slot on Billboard’s pop charts. She’s the first lady who’s ever achieved that, and the only other person ever to get five number one singles off the same album? Michael Jackson. Bananas.

This really is crazy, right? Is Katy Perry really THAT popular? A quick Wikipedia check says that Lady Gaga‘s only had three number one singles altogether, which seems even more bizarre, and Justin Bieber hasn’t had any, at least in the U.S. I don’t know, maybe I’m just not understanding exactly how the Billboard charts work? Or perhaps the world really is going to hell in a handbasket. Those are the only ways I can figure that this girl is one of the most commercially successful singers ever.

August 17, 2011 at 4:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Katy Perry

11What Did Katy Perry Wear to The Smurfs Premiere?

A photo of Katy Perry

Oh, just something really sparkly and totally literal? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Cool.

Is anyone here truly a fan of Katy Perry and her fashion choices? Like, seriously. Can someone sincerely say from the depths of the heart that they love and adore Katy Perry for all that she is? Because I would be really interested in having a calm, goodhearted conversation with that person.

July 25, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Katy Perry

4Daily Mail Does a Whole Story on Katy Perry’s “Blonde Ambition”

Katy Perry was blonde on Wednesday evening

Image courtesy People StyleWatch

The Daily Mail tells the over-long, redemptive tale of one woman—that is, Katy Perry—who accidentally tinted her locks a terrifying shade of alpenglow. But the heroic woman persevered, longing for the distant day she would emerge from her ginger cocoon, a flaxen-haired butterfly.

According to the Daily Mail, Katy’s brief stint as a redhead was kind of an accident. She was only trying to recover her natural hair color (blonde!). But why return to blonde at all? Perhaps Katy was tired of looking like Zooey. Perhaps Katy sought an emblem of her lost and/or misspent youth. We may never know the truth.

To ease the transition from dark tresses to blonde, Katy first lightened her hair to an awkward shade of red. She wore it that way for two weeks, and then she bleached her hair once again. Success! She wore her new blonde hair in loose curls to the MTV VMA announcements.

The songstress as a towheaded kid:

Katy Perry as a kid

July 24, 2011 at 5:30 am by Jenn
Filed Under: Katy Perry