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Katy Perry

Oh, Wait – Here’s More Reasons That Russell Brand Dumped Katy Perry

photo of katy perry and russell brand pictures photos divorce pics
Ooh, ooh! From the Mirror:

Russell Brand filed for divorce from Katy Perry because she refused to settle down and have his children, the Sunday Mirror can reveal. The couple had a series of huge bust-ups over her partying and boozy lifestyle in the run-up to the collapse of their 14-month marriage. Comedian Russell, 36, has beaten booze and drugs addictions and wanted to shun the Hollywood clubbing scene and start a family with the Firework singer. But Katy, 27, didn’t want to become a “Hollywood housewife”. A source close to the couple said Katy took off her wedding ring and handed it back to Russell after one last devastating row a week before Christmas. The I Kissed A Girl star thought she had called her husband’s bluff and he would come running back. But it was the final straw for Russell, who simply shrugged his shoulders and flew home to his mother Barbara. The couple spent Christmas 7,000 miles apart – Katy in Hawaii, Russell in Cornwall – before he instructed his lawyers to start divorce proceedings on Friday. … It remains unclear whether the decision to end the marriage was mutual. … When Katy took her ring off he decided it was best he walked away. … “Katy was surprised that Russell didn’t come running back but she had met her match. They are both strong-willed people and there has been a lot of game-playing going on.”

So, OK. I can totally see this. Katy thinks she’s got this big, bad-assed music career going for her, when the reality is that she’s probably got another few years, tops, before she’s a Hollywood has-been that went the route of crap-singer-that-had-a-decent-stage-show-so-that’s-why-she-lasted-so-long, and maybe that fact is slowly beginning to dawn on her. Maybe that’s why she didn’t want to settle for kids just yet, because she knew that her 15 minutes were going to be up soon – and probably very soon, at that. Her time has been running out for awhile now, and she more than likely wants to make the best of what she’s done and stretch it out for as long as she’s able to.

However, as for Russell “really wanting kids,” I’m not entirely sure I believe that’s the primary reason for cutting out on his marriage. If he “really wanted kids,” and “really loved his wife,” then maybe he would have, I don’t know, compromised and gave it another year or so to see how Katy‘s career panned (or didn’t pan) out? I’m definitely not siding at all with Katy in any of this, nor am I siding with Brand, because aside from his humor, I don’t think there’s much appeal in either of them, but let’s be realistic. This marriage was over before it began, regardless of the reason, and the fact that it even lasted this long is a testament in trying to stick it out, I guess.

Good riddance one way or the other, I say.

Russell Brand Filed for Divorce as A Favor to Katy Perry

A photo of Katy Perry and Russell Brand

As it turns out, Katy Perry wasn’t at all blindsided when Russell Brand filed for divorce, as TMZ had originally said. No, it looks like Katy was well aware of what was happening, and she even asked Russell to file the papers.

“But why didn’t Katy do it herself?” you might be wondering. “Was she too heartbroken to file the papers? Could she not bear to do the deed herself? Was she too drunk to sign some papers?” All good guesses, friends, but they’re all wrong. Really, Katy didn’t file the papers herself because she didn’t want to disappoint her parents.

From TMZ:

Katy Perry WANTED Russell Brand to file the court papers in their divorce … because she didn’t want to upset her religious parents … sources connected to the former couple tell TMZ.

We’re told … Katy and Russell knew the relationship was on the rocks a couple of months ago — but didn’t want to give up on the marriage without making a concerted effort to work things out.

But the effort fell flat … with both sides feeling “it just wasn’t there.”

We’re told both Katy and Russell were on board with the divorce a few weeks ago — but they didn’t want to be in town when the papers were filed … so he went back to England and she booked it to Hawaii.

Since Katy’s parents are evangelical Christians, we’re told she didn’t want to be the one to “officially” end the marriage by filing the docs … since she was raised to believe divorce is wrong.

“OMG, Russ, pleeeeeeeeeeease?!” Katy asked Russell, anxiously clutching her phone covered in Hello Kitty stickers and rhinestones. “Could you just do me this one solid? You don’t understand, Mom and Dad would be so mad if I were to physically sign papers to end this marriage that I jumped into way too fast! Pretty please? Ok, I gotta go show off my cooter and spray somethin’ out my boobies!”

That’s how Katy Perry talks in my head, and I’m pretty sure that’s how this happened in real life. The thing is, I can’t tell if it’s my current, sort of irrational hatred of Katy Perry, or if this is actually completely ridiculous. The only thing I can tell is that Russell Brand is still a good dude for helping her out.

TMZ also has some insight on why this marriage ultimately didn’t work out, just in case there was any confusion:

According to our sources, Katy and Russell were initially head over heels for each other – each fascinated to be with someone who was an extreme opposite.

But we’re told the two began a regime of constant bickering after they got married — often in front of people at clubs and awards shows. They’re both very stubborn and neither would easily back down.

Our sources tell us … because of the friction and their schedules, they never spent long periods of time with each other.

One big bone of contention  … Russell was much more of a homebody than Katy.  Katy loved going out and partying, while Russell (who is sober) didn’t enjoy the scene at all. We’re told he would often insist on leaving places early and asking her to come with … which would trigger an argument.

But we’re told … as the dust settles, neither hates the other — far from it.   There’s no bad blood between them, and neither of them believes the other cheated.

As one person put it, “It was just a bad pairing.”

Amen, One Person.  Amen.

Russell Brand Files for Divorce from Katy Perry

A photo of Katy Perry and Russell Brand

I thought that maybe in February or something we’d hear about this divorce, but no, not quite. As the world and I have been saying all month, something has been off between Katy Perry and Russell Brand here lately (and I don’t just mean their wedding rings). It turns out that everyone was right, because news just broke that Russell has filed for divorce:

In the docs, filed in L.A., Brand cites “irreconcilable differences.” The two were married Oct. 23, 2010 in India.  They have no kids.

The divorce docs say there are “community property assets” — it’s a sign there might not be a prenup, or if there is one it doesn’t cover all of the earnings and other assets they accumulated.

The docs do not give a date the couple separated.

Russell has released a statement, claiming, “Sadly, Katy and I are ending our marriage. I’ll always adore her and I know we’ll remain friends.”

Russell proposed to Katy in India on New Year’s Eve 2009 — nearly two years ago … to the day.

Sources had told TMZ the couple was having problems, evidenced by the fact that they spent Christmas apart and neither was wearing a wedding ring.

Although it’s not 100%, based on what we now know it appears Brand may have blindsided Perry by filing the divorce petition.

Hey, since this is one of the least shocking divorces of all time, can we skip everything about how tragic it is when true love dies and move right along to the next stage? Which is, of course, who are these crazy kids going to hook up with next? Personally, I think Katy is going to take the time, and that she needs to take the time, to be single and crazy and wasted. Katy needs to party this one out. Meanwhile, do you think Russell will go back to his old ways and sleep with everyone? I’d like to think not. I hope, as I said yesterday, that Russell finds himself a nice, smart girl to settle down and have his babies like Katy had no interest in doing. Doesn’t that sound sweet?

Katy Perry and Russell Brand Aren’t Wearing Their Wedding Rings

A photo of Katy Perry

Uh-oh, everybody. Remember yesterday when I told you about how Russell Brand wanted to take his lady love, Katy Perry, home to London for the holidays? And then Katy was all “f*ck you,” but Russell was all “no, f*ck YOU!” and then they spent Christmas apart? Well, things are looking worse, because, as you can see in those pictures above, both Katy and Russell aren’t wearing their wedding rings.

Katy’s picture came out first, and when I saw it, I didn’t make too much of it. Sure, she was in Hawaii because she blew off her husband on Christmas, but she was still in Hawaii, and if you’re going to be swimming around in the ocean, I think it’s totally fair to remove an undoubtedly insanely expensive wedding ring for safekeeping. But Russell wasn’t in any ocean. He was just strolling around London in a cute sweater, an occasion that provides no such easy excuse for the missing ring.

Word on the street is that things started getting “tense” for the couple towards the beginning of the month and that Katy is “a mess” because of it. In my opinion, that’s ridiculous. As I said yesterday, I think Katy’s been behaving selfishly, and she’s way too immature about so many things. If she actually is a mess, it’s because she’s been treating Russell like shit and Russell finally refused to take it. That’s how the whole thing sounded to me, anyway: Katy’s been touring for so long and Russell accepted that, but now that Katy’s done with her tour and she still apparently doesn’t care to spend that much time with her husband, things aren’t ok anymore. It sounds like Katy is That Girl who acts completely shocked and dismayed that someone decided to call her out on her bad behavior. “What?” Katy would ask scathingly as she narrowed her eyes. “You want me to respect you and spend time with you? Are you new?”

Is it too much to ask for that this couple goes ahead and files for divorce so that Russell can find someone more his speed? Someone who cares enough about him to, I don’t know, spend holidays with him and not hit him for being himself? As some lovely and wise commenters, Mireee and Nicole Peach, said yesterday, “Russell is so articulate and hilarious” and “Team Russell!” Ain’t no truer truths, ladies.

Oh, but here’s the silver lining: I’m pretty sure Katy’s not pregnant. The first time we raised the question was back towards the end of November, and I think if we were speculating back then, she’d definitely be showing by now. Right?

Images courtesy of People

Katy Perry and Russell Brand Spent Christmas Apart, Are Probably Going to Break Up

A photo of Katy Perry and Russell Brand

As you know, there have been divorce rumors swirling around Katy Perry and Russell Brand for a little while now. The two have been spotted together pretty infrequently these days, and they’ve spent tons of time apart when she went on a world tour a few months after they got married. Of course, Katy didn’t have to work on Christmas, but what did she do instead? She opted out of a trip with her husband to London in favor of Hawaii!

It didn’t help that they apparently had a gigantic argument about their plans:

“They had a massive fight,” an insider tells Us Weekly. “She was like, ‘F*ck you. I’m going to do my own thing.’ Russell replied, ‘Fine, f*ck you too.’”

Which explains why, come Dec. 25, the multi-platinum singer was snapped splashing in the Pacific Ocean off Kauai — sans wedding ring. Meanwhile, British comic Brand, 36, was catching up with a pal in a pub in chilly Coverack, Cornwall.

Though the pair denied divorce rumors in November, sources say trouble is brewing. “They haven’t split up just yet, but things are not good,” says the first source. “The fighting is getting worse.”

At issue? Among other things, explains another source: “Katy doesn’t think Russell respects her parents’ Christian beliefs or her friends.”

So will the couple — who wed in October 2010 after a whirlwind courtship — make it through 2012? Says the first source, “The split may come soon, but they are both so dramatic and volatile, the relationship could become great again.”

Too me, this all sounds like immaturity on Katy’s part. It’s like that time she slapped Russell for saying something she thought was blasphemous and how she continues to party and drink and then tell the world about it, even though he’s dealt with and continues to deal with addiction. It just makes her seem immature and selfish and ridiculous.

So what do you guys think? Are we going to hear about a divorce sometime in 2012 or what?

But Really, Is Katy Perry Pregnant?

A photo of Katy Perry

I know, it’s only been a few weeks since we last mused about the state of Katy Perry‘s uterus, but this is all the kids are talking about these days. It’s all about Katy Perry’s womb and Miley Cyrus’ boobs and Lindsay Lohan’s cooch, and I can’t do anything about that, ok?

But let’s get down to business here: do you think this lady is pregnant or not? To be fair, I’m sure any woman (or, ok, almost any woman) would have at least a little tummy in that dress that Katy’s wearing. And she’s still saying that the tummy came from Taco Bell:

I don’t know though. She and Russell Brand did jump into marriage pretty fast, and they’ve been married for over a year now, so a baby wouldn’t be too crazy. There’s also been some divorce rumors circulating about the couple, so maybe this is their way to put those rumors to rest. And in one of those pictures down there, Katy is touching her stomach, and you know what that means …

Is Katy Perry pregnant?
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Just in Time for the Holidays: Last Night’s SNL with Katy Perry

Katy Perry teamed with Andy Samberg (and Matt Damon! And Val Kilmer! And even Abraham Lincoln!) for last night’s awesome SNLDigital Short.” I didn’t LOL or anything, but Katy Perry’s facial expressions slay me. And! Val Kilmer, singing! How I’ve missed you, Val.

Anyway. The song is about meth addiction and time-travel, and I love it. Then again, I almost always laugh at jokes about meth. I think drug references are hilarious. That isn’t weird, though, right? Everybody loves those Harold and Kumar movies.