Because you haven’t lived until you’ve seen Chris Klein as a slice of pizza, the kids at Celebrity Smack put together two fairly comprehensive collections of celeb Halloween costumes. See, I had planned to do this, but I quickly realized it would require time and effort. Linking is much better. [Celebrity Smack, more]
Katie Holmes doesn’t actually want to befriend Brooke Shields; she’s fishing for tips on how to behave as though you actually just had a kid. [PCW]
November 2, 2006 at 5:46 am by Evil Beet
Thanks to a recent commenter for pointing us toward this video. Someone snuck a camera into a screening of this Scientology orientation video, so you too can get a 36-minute introduction to the religion Katie Holmes is marrying into.
Evil T wondered what their wedding would be like. I’m not sure, but around 23:50 there’s a church scene. It’s a “Christening,” and I’m pretty sure there’s a big ole’ cross behind the minister. See, guys? Scientology is just like that Christianity you know and love, except with more aliens and intergalactic warfare.
Even if you don’t watch the whole thing, please check out the end, starting around 32:30, where you’re warned that you have the opportunity — right now — to determine the course of the “your next trillion years.” You can choose Scientology, or you can choose agony and despair. For a trillion years, people. “I’m sorry,” says the host, “but that’s the way it really is.”
Anyway, if you’re gonna watch it, watch it today, before I get the cease and desist letter.
October 25, 2006 at 5:12 am by Evil Beet
Tom and Katie’s rep have now confirmed that their wedding will be November 18th in Italy. I’m glad for Katie since she already got brainwashed and knocked up in the course of a year while waiting in vain for her big wedding. They have been engaged since June 2005, so this wedding has been “in the works” for some time. I wish them well even though I find Tom Cruise super creepy.
I wonder if the guests will dress as aliens? Seriously if anyone knows what a Scientology wedding entails please shoot me an email.
October 24, 2006 at 4:29 pm by Evil Beet
Katie Holmes’ Catholic parents have threatened to boycott her wedding to Tom Cruise if it’s held in the Scientologist tradition. They also object to the Rob Thomas mask he insists she wear throughout the ceremony.
October 16, 2006 at 5:01 am by Evil Beet
- Katie Holmes may play the role of Victoria Beckham in an upcoming biopic about Posh’s hubby, U.K. soccer star David Beckham.
- A publicity-starved Steve-O urinates on the red carpet at the premiere of Jackass 2. Fair warning: if you click that link, you are going to see his penis.
- Steve-O’s penis is lovely treat, but I know what you all really crave is a peek at Rosie O’Donnell’s tits. Well, then, you should watch Nip/Tuck on October 3. Or, you know, avoid Nip/Tuck at all costs for the entire month of October, just in case.
- Britney’s “manny” leaves her for Jude Law. Maybe he’s planning to reunite with Sienna Miller for the fifty-eighth time. She was not such a big fan of the old nanny.
- Keith Richards showed up to film his part as Johnny Depp’s father in the third installment of the other national mint, Pirates of the Caribbean, and the Rolling Stones rocker was almost too drunk to get through the scene. Where is Courtney Love when you need her?
- If you own an energy drink called Rehab, and you would like people to take pictures of your product and write about it on the Internet, you do whatever it takes to get that can into the sweaty, shaky hands of Lindsay Lohan. But how to do that? It just seems to good to be true. It took me awhile to find much information on the product, since any google search for “lohan rehab” or “rehab beverages” provides a million hits I can’t use, but I finally tracked down their website. They’re a Las Vegas company, and it looks like they’re partnered with Pink Taco, a chain of Mexican restaurants owned by Harry Morton, Lohan’s boyfriend. Mystery solved.
September 22, 2006 at 6:23 pm by Evil Beet
- People in this country seem to think it would be a good thing if Lindsay Lohan moved to London. Such thinking belies a tacit ignorance of the economic underpinnings of our nation. A drastic shift in the supply/demand curve of the blow industry impacts all of us.
- Cameron Diaz filed a police report accusing a photog of assault with a deadly weapon.
- Angelina and Brad continue their tireless quest to buy our forgiveness, donating $1M each to the Global Action for Children and Doctors Without Borders. It’s really pathetic, you know, behaving as though a vast improvement in quality of life for thousands of third-world children in any way makes up for the broken heart of one first-world Jennifer Aniston. You two sicken me.
- Someone went Wild On…Brooke Burke. Check out pics of her preggers. And, for the record, I tried very hard to think of something more current to pun on than an E! series she wrapped four years ago, but that’s really all there is for her.
- No, silly, Chris Klein did not impregnant Katie Holmes. An alien did.