Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Katie Holmes

Oh Dear Lord

It’s been a slow metamorphosis, but I’m finally starting to understand what Katie Holmes is going for.

The super-short haircut? The fedora? The ridiculous pants?

You guys, Katie wants to date Lindsay Lohan.

I can’t believe I didn’t see this before.

Katie Holmes Jeans Watch

Katie Holmes is wearing normal jeans today as she leaves rehearsals for All My Sons.

But Katie still got the last laugh.

You see, she and co-star John Lithgow devised a plan. Katie was like, “Here’s the deal. I’ll wear something completely normal when I leave rehearsals today. However, you’ll leave immediately after me, so the paparazzi get you too, and you’ll be wearing something ridiculous, and that’ll blow their minds.” And John Lithgow thought about it, and then said, “Well, the props department has this one hat left over from Rent,” and Katie was like, “Perfect.”

Another Suri Cruise Photo Shoot

While Brad and Angelina are charging $8 gazillion for like five photos of their children, Katie Holmes has Suri wandering around New York all day every day posing for anybody with a camera.

Like, I understand the photos of them outside; it’s unreasonable to expect Katie to keep Suri locked up in a tower all day. But what’s with the 8000 photos of Suri inside a clothing store? Can’t they keep the paparazzi out? Why is she letting them get all these photos of her little girl?

She sure is getting damn cute, though.

Daddy and Me!

Tom Cruise puts in some quality time with Suri in New York, while Katie puts in some quality time with her beloved rolled denim.

What’s with Tom Cruise looking sexy again?

Am I the only one who’s noticed this? Anyone else feel the same way?

Katie Holmes Knows Better Than to Wear Those Ridiculous Jeans Around Tom

Tom’s back in NYC with Katie Holmes, so she’s back to wearing normal pants, because you know he bitch-slapped some fashion sense into her, then took out her awful old jeans and his sewing machine, made a pair of Daisy Dukes, and put on a fashion show for his dolls.

So now Katie has to wear the kind of pants that normal people wear.

Also: I like those sunglasses on Tom, and I hate that about myself.