Pack your carpet bags! Put on your wicker hats!
I wasn’t going to bother covering Will and Kate‘s boat race, but then I discovered they raced each other at Prince Edward Island. Prince Edward Island! That means the boat race is singleboatedly the most exciting thing to ever occur at Prince Edward Island, if the events of the Anne of Green Gables books don’t count—which, they shouldn’t. They’re fiction.
Anyway, Prince William and bride Kate are touring the Great White North, and yesterday they raced boats in front of a huge audience. And Will just couldn’t help himself: he kicked Kate’s ass. According to the Mirror, Duchess Kate “jokingly tried to push Prince William into the water” afterward. Yeah, “jokingly.”
The prince reveled in his team’s dragon boat victory as he mingled with well-wishers.
A woman in the crowd said: “That wasn’t very gentlemanly. He might think it’s funny now but wait until they get home.”
Prince William, the victor, accepted a bottle of champagne, saying, “There is no chivalry in sport.” The little old lady in the audience was right: Kate is probably biding her time until she can poison him.
Listen. My boyfriend thinks it’s sooo-ooooo cute and charming of him when he beats me at Virtua Fighter and, yes, I get sour, because he obviously doesn’t know what he’s doing. He just sits there pushing all the buttons at once. And then he gets away with it by telling me, “Well, I knew you’d get all angry if I just let you win, so I didn’t!” What an idiot.
Will and Kate have visited Ontario, Quebec, and Nova Scotia so far. And the Mirror reports that, sometime today, Will and Kate are playing street hockey in Yellowknife. Get him, Kate.