Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kate Middleton

So I Guess There’s Kate Middleton Nudes Out There Somewhere

photo of kate middleton pictures photos nudes topless pic
Looks like Duchess Kate is about to join the ranks of Prince Harry—in her very own topless scandal! Word on the street has it that French magazine, Closer followed Prince William and Kate on a vacation to Provence, where Kate, naturally, engaged in some topless sunbathing. Closer, sending out the above photo teaser yesterday, claims that the photos will be released later today, and the Royals are pissed. A spokesperson for the family claims that Will and Kate are “saddened” and angry, and that a “red line” has been crossed.

From a French magazine website called Closer (well, at least the Google-translated text, anyway):

“A little more than a year after their marriage, the royal couple was offered a romantic getaway, far from the protocol and etiquette in their very own garden of Eden.”

“Almost alone in the world … because Closer was there! After the holidays of Prince Harry in Las Vegas, discover the very sensual shots of Kate Middleton and her husband Prince William.

“Discover the incredible pictures of the future Queen of England as you’ve never seen her before … and as you will never see her again!”

What do you guys think—are you in agreement with Will and Kate, that a “red line” has been crossed (why red? Why not black? Why not teal? It is, after all, the color of gangrene, and what’s nastier than that)? Or do you think that it’s, you know, not really that big a deal?

View Results

Because Who Wouldn’t Want Some Middleton Dolls?!

A photo of Kate Middleton and Pippa Middleton

Just look at these finely crafted items up there! They bear such a remarkable resemblance to Kate and Pippa Middleton in their classically gorgeous royal wedding day get-ups, and notice how they aren’t creepy whatsoever!

Would you be interested in one of these darling dolls? Well, for just $49.95, Pippa can be yours, and gorgeous Kate is a steal at $189.95! I know what I’m asking for in my letter to Santa this year!

Does anyone else know of any other beautiful celebrity-inspired dolls who absolutely do not look like they would come to life and murder you in your sleep?

Quotables: Justin Timberlake Is All About The Middletons

A photo of Justin Timberlake

“Us American males are big fans of Pippa. We like the Middletons very much. I’m going to sound like a sleazeball. I’m going to stop right there!”

- Justin Timberlake shares his creepy desires with Us magazine.

Is this true? Is that what you American males are attracted to these days, Kate and Pippa Middleton? Because I’m sorry, but unless you’re really into fancy parties or fancy hats, then I really don’t understand what you guys and Justin Timberlake go for.

Where do you stand?
View Results

Quotables: Vivienne Westwood Says Kate Middleton Looks “Hard”

photo of red-haired british designer vivienne westwood pictures photos

“I think she’s got a problem with eye make-up. The sharp line around her eyes make her look hard. Either she should be smudgy or wear none. It seems to me, that her image is ‘ordinary woman’. Therefore, High Street shopper. And I just think she should be an extraordinary woman, wherever she gets her clothes from.”

First of all, I know Vivienne Westwood is, like, this amazing, revered designer and stuff, but if you don’t trust your own advice, there’s not much else to say about that. Has Vivi taken a look at her own makeup as of late, or is she leaving that solely up to our own artistic interpretation? While I don’t necessarily disagree with her comments regarding Kate‘s eye makeup, I’m not quite sure this one’s the best judge either.

Also. I’m not one of those dedicated, Duchess Kate-loving die-hards, but I do think she’s a pretty cool chick. Therefore, so-the-hell-what if she wants to be perceived as “ordinary woman”? I think, if that’s what she’s doing for, it’s admirable.

Hollywood Arranged A Play Date for Prince William and Kate Middleton Last Night

A photo of Prince William and Kate Middleton

Ok, it technically wasn’t just a play date, it was the inaugural ‘BAFTA Brits to Watch’ event, and its purpose was to “highlight the incredible depth and range of great British talent currently emerging in film, television and video games,” but between me and you, I think that’s just some highfalutin reasoning for a bunch of American celebrities to get to meet some real live royalty.

If you look through the gallery, you can see that it’s divided into three different categories: there’s some traditional red carpet coverage, where you can see Jennifer Lopez looking preposterous, Kate Middleton looking stunning, and Blake Lively looking pregnant, then there’s the part with bizarre celebrity pairings (I’m not going to pretend that the picture of Blake Lively with Quentin Tarantino isn’t going to give me nightmares), and then there’s my personal favorite, the part where Kate and William make friends with everyone! I think Nicole Kidman is their favorite, don’t you?

I Think It’s OK If We Like Kate Middleton Now

A photo of Kate Middleton

It really was touch and go for a while with Kate Middleton, no joke. Like, of course she was stunning and beautiful and graceful and all that during that one wedding, but she often gives off a sort of bitchy vibe too. But then this precious little girl with cancer got this notion that she wanted to meet Kate. Here’s the girl’s letter:

“Dear Princess Kate. My name is Diamond Ann. I am six. I was named after Princess Diana. My Mommy Memory is in heaven with her.

I have cancer. I spend a lot of time at the hospital. I watched you get married from my bed there. You looked pretty.

I like playing Princess dress up. My favourite princess is Aurora. Who is yours. I would really like to meet you. Do you want to meet me too? “

And not to be mean, but any cold-hearted bitch who could refuse a request like that doesn’t deserve to be anything at all in this world, much less a princess. I could probably come up with something harsher than that, but thankfully I don’t need to, because Kate was a doll and, at a little stop on the great Canada tour, she took some time to meet little Diamond Ann.

So are we all crying again or what? And does Kate have our official seal of approval?