Pack your carpet bags! Put on your wicker hats!
I wasn’t going to bother covering Will and Kate‘s boat race, but then I discovered they raced each other at Prince Edward Island. Prince Edward Island! That means the boat race is singleboatedly the most exciting thing to ever occur at Prince Edward Island, if the events of the Anne of Green Gables books don’t count—which, they shouldn’t. They’re fiction.
Anyway, Prince William and bride Kate are touring the Great White North, and yesterday they raced boats in front of a huge audience. And Will just couldn’t help himself: he kicked Kate’s ass. According to the Mirror, Duchess Kate “jokingly tried to push Prince William into the water” afterward. Yeah, “jokingly.”
The prince reveled in his team’s dragon boat victory as he mingled with well-wishers.
A woman in the crowd said: “That wasn’t very gentlemanly. He might think it’s funny now but wait until they get home.”
Prince William, the victor, accepted a bottle of champagne, saying, “There is no chivalry in sport.” The little old lady in the audience was right: Kate is probably biding her time until she can poison him.
Listen. My boyfriend thinks it’s sooo-ooooo cute and charming of him when he beats me at Virtua Fighter and, yes, I get sour, because he obviously doesn’t know what he’s doing. He just sits there pushing all the buttons at once. And then he gets away with it by telling me, “Well, I knew you’d get all angry if I just let you win, so I didn’t!” What an idiot.
Will and Kate have visited Ontario, Quebec, and Nova Scotia so far. And the Mirror reports that, sometime today, Will and Kate are playing street hockey in Yellowknife. Get him, Kate.
July 5, 2011 at 2:30 pm by Jenn
It’s been a little over a month since the royal wedding craze, so I figure you guys would be cool to receive an update on what Prince William and Kate Middleton were up to these days. It’ll be a pretty quick update: they’ve been wearing fancy hats!
This is a photo of the lovely couple at a derby yesterday. Personally, I think Will is looking suitably fly in his little top hat, but I’m a little disappointed with Kate. Now that she’s a member of the royal family, she really needs to step up her hat game, right?
June 5, 2011 at 1:00 pm by Emily
I told you the other day that I was so fed up with Royal Wedding fever that I was basically annoyed to the point of petty anger, but here’s one aspect of the whole shebang that I’m willing to concentrate on: THE CAKE, Y’ALL.
Personally, I get sick of cake after a bite or two, but a well-made pastry ain’t nothing to scoff at, and this delicacy? It’s fit for a future king and his bride, that’s for damn sure.
The flavor was William’s favorite chocolate biscuit cake (once again, Kate’s preferences are swept to the side) and the design is pretty traditional, but the details are phenomenal. Check out the closeups in the gallery. Is that a freakin’ tassel made out of icing? Incredible. And definitely classier than whatever that squinty-eyed husband thief LeAnn Rimes and her gross husband ate at their tacktastic wedding last week.
One thing? I’d be afraid to touch this thing with a knife. Sometimes they make these wedding cakes so pretty that it’s a complete shame that someone’s gotta bring a knife to it, but I guess we know all about pretty things getting knives waved at them around these parts, huh?
April 30, 2011 at 5:00 am by Molls
Ah wedding dresses. Or rather, wedding dresses of people who don’t bat an eye when it comes to dropping a small fortune on them. Above and below, you see the various wedding fashions dating back to the, like, early part of the twentieth century, all the way to today.
Who’s your favorite wedding princess?
April 29, 2011 at 7:30 am by Sarah
The kiss is just about at the minute mark, and the rest of the clip is basically just a bunch of royals on the balcony at Westminster Abbey waving and egging the crowd on while watching the Queen look like she wants to kick some little boy ass.
ALSO. Wouldn’t it be totally awesome if Prince Harry decided to go and hook up with Pippa Middleton? I mean, both of these siblings, Harry AND Pippa, look like total hell-raisers, and I think they’d nicely balance the somber and reserved Prince William and now-Princess Kate quite well, don’t you?
I’m pulling for it, you guys. Let’s make it happen.
April 29, 2011 at 6:30 am by Sarah
I know, I know. I said I was going to just stop this madness, but I can’t help it. I mean, I said I wasn’t going to eat the rest of that chocolate bunny head last night, but what happened? TOTALLY FUCKING ATE IT.
That’s what this wedding is like. I promised myself I’d stay away from it, but here I am. Sneakily at it, fearing that someone’s going to catch me gorging myself on something that’s just soooo bad, but you just can’t tear yourself away from it.
I love how Kate had a REALLY HARD TIME keeping a stoic face, and you just KNOW she was thinking about how many McQueen fashions and Louboutins she was going to be able to buy in the coming months. No, I’m kidding. She was totally thinking about how crazy it was going to be to shag later tonight as an official Princess.