“I be all up in Goldman Sachs like these n—as tryna hold me back, these n—as tryna hold me back/ I’m just trying to protect my stacks/ Mitt Romney don’t pay no tax, Mitt Romney don’t pay no tax.”
—Kanye West in new single, ‘To the World’, off his new Cruel Summer album. Which, doubtless, is going to be all about politics that he only understands on the most base of levels, f-cking Kim Kardashian, and cleaning out that bitch’s closet (oh. Wait. Didn’t Eminem already do that one?—yes, yes, he did):
Oh, and look: an infinitely-more talented rapper than Kanye could ever hope to be, I suppose, though crap is still crap no matter how lovely the air freshener used to cover up the stench is.
September 14, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Sarah
But real quick, can I just say that I absolutely love this photo of Kanye and Kim? Because I really, really do. I think it’s just too adorable, and I think that if this couple was any other couple, everyone else would find it adorable too.
Ok, but let’s get back to the story at hand, which is that before Kanye was one half of Kimye, he used to have sex with other ladies while watching Kim’s sex tape. “Multiple sources with first-hand knowledge of the situation” have told TMZ that Kanye used to watch that little tape that Kim made with Ray J “to get him in the mood.” And that is just gross on so many levels.
I’m sure we all have differing opinions about porn, but we can all admit that having sex with a guy while he’s watching a sex tape of someone he actually knows would be weird, right? And would it be sweet or creepy to know that the guy you’re currently dating used to consistently think about you and get off? And I haven’t seen Kim’s tape, but I heard it wasn’t all that great, which, for some reason, makes this whole thing just a tiny bit creepier.
See, this is why this relationship worries me. I want to think it works because they’re both so wacky and they take cute pictures and seem really into each other, but then we hear these stories about how in love Kanye is (or obsessed, whatever), and we remember how Kim dated all these dudes and got married while Kanye was just pining away, and it turns sad. I just don’t want Kanye to get hurt, that’s all. I don’t want him to be another Kris Humphries.
September 10, 2012 at 7:30 am by Emily
Earlier this year, Kanye released a song called “Theraflu”, which actually said “I fell in love with Kim.” Then, more recently, he let us in on the fact that he’d written a new song called “Perfect Bitch,” also for Kim. But guys. He’s been at this for literal years.
Sources “extremely close” to Kanye (so, Kim?) are saying that he’s been “obsessed” with Kim for years, and that he’s written several references to Kim in his songs. For instance, a song from 2009, “Knock You Down,” has this verse:
Tell me now can you make it past your caspers
So we can finally fly off into NASA
You was always the cheerleader of my dreams
To seem to only date the head of football teams
And I was the class clown that, always kept you laughin’
We, were never meant to be baby we just happened
So please, don’t mess up the trick… hey young world I’m the new slick rick
They say I move too quick, but we can’t let the moment pass us
Let the hourglass pass right into ashes
Let the wind blow the ash right before my glasses
So I wrote this love letter right before my classes
How could a goddess have asked someone that’s only average
O.M.G, you listen to that, bitch?
Whoa it’s me
Baby this is tragic
Cause we had it, we was magic
I was flyin’, now I’m crashin’
This is bad, real bad, Michael Jackson
Now I’m mad, real mad, Joe Jackson
You should leave your boyfriend now, I’ma ask him
That was written, mind you, when Kim was dating Reggie Bush, football player. And just to summarize, he called Kim “a goddess” and “the cheerleader of my dreams.” I dare you to find something more romantic.
But yeah, I believe this, based on pretty much everything we’ve ever heard about these two. They’ve been friends for years, but remember that time that Amber Rose, Kanye’s former girlfriend, called Kim a home wrecker? And Kris Humphries has some reason to think that Kim and Kanye were involved while he and Kim were still together. It’s curious, friends. It’s just curious.
September 7, 2012 at 10:30 am by Emily
From the Daily Mail:
[Kanye West] cancelled his appearance after deciding he didn’t want to attend tonight’s ceremony in Los Angeles without his girlfriend Kim Kardashian by his side.
The reality star, 31, had a prior engagement at Fashion’s Night Out in New York, where she will be promoting her True Reflection perfume at Lord & Taylor.
A source tells Mail Online: ‘Kim’s in New York for her fragrance launch and Kanye didn’t want to go to the VMAs if she couldn’t be there.’
Kayne’s song Mercy featuring Pusha T, Big Sean & 2 Chainz is up for Best Hip-Hop Video and Best Editing. He was not scheduled to perform.
OK, so it’s not exactly because no one wants Kim Kardashian there (though I have no doubts that no one wants Kim Kardashian there and that’s the real reason she has her stupid perfume launch scheduled on the same damn day as the MTV VMAs). But come on. Wittle baby man can’t go out in pubwic wifout his wittle girlfwiend? Doesn’t wittle baby man have any real fwiends? F-CKING GAG ME. I wish these two would fall into a radioactive pit (or just, you know, Paris Hilton’s vagina) and never come out, and that way they’d never have to endure the horrors of being apart.
Me, I’m not sorry that Kanye won’t be there tonight. I’m sure he’d just give me heartburn every time I looked at him and his stupid face, anyway, so thanks for doing a girl a solid, man.
September 6, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Sarah
I may not be a huge fan of Kanye’s music, but his words? That’s a completely different story. His words are like little bits of treasure that spew forth from his mouth whenever he deigns to open it up at us lowly mortals. Somehow, everything he ever says is always the best thing that anyone’s ever said. He’s a powerhouse of wisdom, a fountain of knowledge and truth. In short, he’s glorious.
That’s why I was so pleased when he tweeted some heavy thoughts yesterday. No one can make you think like Kanye can.
Here’s what he had to say:
I usually never tweet questions but I struggle with this so here goes… Is the word BITCH acceptable? To be more specific, is it acceptable for a man to call a woman a bitch even if it’s endearing? Even typing it in question form it’s still feels harsh? Has hip hop conditioned us to accept this word? Do we love this word as much as we love the word N-GGA in an endearing way? correction, Here’s the age old question, would we refer to our mothers as bitches? Would’ we call our fathers n-ggers or better yet N-GGAS? If n-gga is such a positive word, why do we feel so uncomfortable for white people to say it, even with a hall pass? Is it ok to use bitch as long as we put BAD in front of it? Like you a BAD BITCH. Perhaps the words BITCH and N-GGA are now neither positive or negative. They are just potent and it depends on how they are used and by whom?
I was recently questioned about the use of the word BITCH in my music and initially was offended by anyone questioning anything in my music. Stevie Wonder never had to use the word bitch to get his point across. I will admit that I sometimes go back an omit cursing from my records. I like to use profanity as a tool and not a crutch. I’m not tweeting to say what we need and what we don’t… I just wanted to think out loud with you guys today…
Now that all the thought holes in your brain are all plugged up for the day, I guess just go get a juice box and watch Dinosaurs on Netflix or something. And maybe when your mind isn’t so blown, we can try to discuss Kanye’s philosophizing, all right?
September 3, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Emily
From Hollywood Life:
Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner are at war over Kim and Kanye West’s upcoming reality show. Kim wants the show to focus on her relationship with Kanye and their adventures in the fashion and music world. But Kris is demanding that she have complete creative control over the show, and wants it to be full of drama and chaos to pull in top ratings!
A friend of the Kardashian family tells HollywoodLife.com EXCLUSIVELY, “It’s not pretty! Kim is sick and tired of Kris trying to control every aspect of her new reality show with Kanye. They don’t share the same vision at all. Kim wants it be cute and sweet and Kris wants drama, drama, drama!”
How does Kanye feel about the drama? He wants to keep both ladies happy!
“Kanye is keeping his mouth shut about the reality show. Of course, his number one priority is making Kim happy, but he doesn’t want to get on Kris’ bad side. He has agreed to go ahead with the show, but refuses to get in the middle of Kim and her mother,” the friend said.
Kim and Kris are planning on buying a pricey flat in London, where they hope to film part of their reality show. Kim wants to tape episodes of the November launch of the Kardashian Kollection line in London.
The insider says, “Kris is convinced that the show will only do well if there is drama, so she wants Kim and Kanye to pretend like they are fighting over which flat to purchase in London. Kim thinks this is completely ridiculous and is not willing to put on an act for ratings. Until Kim and Kris can see eye to eye, nothing is going to happen unless they can somehow meet in the middle.”
Please keep in mind that, sadly, The Kimye Show is just a rumor at this point in time. You know it’s going to happen though, right? I hope you’ve already accepted that, because it doesn’t matter if it’s full of Kris Jenner‘s made up drama or full of Kim and Kanye‘s perfect love, it’s going to be a Very Big Deal. So just brace yourselves for that.
But you know, even though I understand that this show’s definitely going to happen, I still think it’s a little weird. It raises a few questions, doesn’t it? See, Kris Humphries married Kim, and they never got their own show. He was on Kourtney and Kim Take New York, but there was no spin-off. And yet there are already plans to create a show about Kim and Kanye, the couple who’s been dating for a few months? Is it just me, or did all those marriage rumors just get a little more realistic?