I mean, come on, who wouldn’t want to marry Kim Kardashian? Kim’s spouses get super fancy weddings, a television show, and all the humiliation and regret that they could ever hope for! And look at that ass! We could all do a lot worse in life than being Mr. Kim Kardashian.
Kanye knows this, because Kanye has knowledge of all things. And he’s trying to lock this down real quick.
From Life & Style:
After eight months of battling with estranged husband Kris Humphries, Kim Kardashian’s boyfriend, Kanye West, is now putting the pressure on her to speed up the divorce!
An insider reveals in the new issue of Life & Style, on newsstands now, that Kanye is pushing Kim to give the NBA player whatever he wants to go away — so the rapper can pursue his plan to marry her!
“Kanye wants to marry Kim, and he’s telling her to expedite the divorce so they can start their future,” a source close to Kim tells Life & Style. “Kanye’s like, ‘Just do whatever you need to do to make it go away.’”
“Kim’s starting to come around to Kanye’s way of thinking,” the insider admits. Kim quickly became serious with Kanye — publicly calling herself his girlfriend — and they’ve even put their LA homes on the market so they can look for a rental together.
“As things get more and more intense and comfortable, both Kim and Kanye hate being apart,” the insider tells Life & Style. “And as they grow closer, Kanye’s desire to marry Kim — and hers to be married to him — keeps getting stronger.
And while Kim thought her prenup would guarantee a quick divorce, Kim hadn’t counted on Kris’ demands. A source close to the case says Kris is demanding $7 million to settle, while his team insists Kris wants Kim to admit she married him only for fame and money.
Is this bitch seriously going to get married again so soon? I know that this isn’t the first time that this idea has been brought up, but … seriously? I was going to say that marrying Kanye so fast would make me lose all respect for Kim, but that would imply that there was respect there to begin with. I just can’t imagine what goes on in her head, but I guess that’s a good thing.
All that being said though, I’m really glad that Kim picked Kanye as her next victim. Mostly because I have an elaborate scene planned out in my head where Kanye goes to the final divorce hearing, and just before it’s over, he jumps up onto the judge’s bench, looks at Kris, and says “Yo, I’ma let you finish, but Kanye West had the best proposal of all time!” Then the lights go down and strobes come on and he sings “Gold Digger” to Kim and then flashes her a ring. I have all the faith in the world in Kanye.
June 8, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily
Kim Kardashian and Kayne West have both discreetly listed their homes for sale, setting the stage for the big, “We’re movin’ in together” … TMZ has learned.
Kim has given a “pocket listing” to a realtor for her $4.8 mil Beverly Hills home — a pocket listing doesn’t appear in official real estate documents. We’re told Kim’s asking price is $5 million.
Ditto Kanye, who listed his L.A. home as well — again, a pocket listing.
Sources close to the couple confirm … both are selling their homes so they can rent a house together. They’re looking for a really private place to live … behind gates.
So this means that they’re moving in together. It has to. Unless they’re making a suicide pact, and, in which case I would not advise them upon one way or the other, there’s no other reason for both of them to be completely dropping off the real estate grid unless they were going to embark upon a joint venture. Together. Which is guess is redundant, since I already said “joint.” But it is what it is.
I’m also hearing rumors that the two are going to get married, soon, too, and it’s probably going to be a very private, low-key affair*. And that Kanye is just dying to knock Kim up. From Us Weekly:
“They’re seriously talking marriage…and yes, she would,” they said.
As we saw during Kim’s shortlived marriage to Kris Humphries, who she’s still waiting to divorce, the reality star was desperate to start a family, and Kanye could be that man to finally give her what she wants.
“Kanye can’t wait to see her carrying his child,” the insider said. “He says she will look beautiful pregnant.”
Oh. Well, that’s good then. I mean, Kanye does seem the type to really concentrate on what his wife/babymama looks like while she’s pregnant. Honestly, f-ck the whole “healthy” thing. As long as the bitch looks good with a swollen Kanye-baby belly, that’s all that really matters in the world. Priorities priorities, folks.
*Of course it’s not going to be private or low-key. We’re talking about Kim Kardashian and Kanye f-cking West here. If you look up those two names in the dictionary, under “antonyms,” you’ll see “private” and “low-key,” along with “classy,” “tasteful,” and “genteel.”
May 31, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Sarah
We’ve talked about Kim Kardashian‘s fashion choices a few times this week, remember? Specifically, we talked about how she seemed to be developing a trend of wearing memorable dresses that other celebrities wore before her. First there was her Gwyneth Paltrow dress, and then she stepped out in Cannes wearing the same dress that had been worn before by Zoe Saldana, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Katy Perry (not at the same time, of course, but if someone could draw that picture, that would be awesome). But now there’s some news that reveals that Kanye is really the one to blame for the bad fashion. Natch.
From the Daily News:
Rapper-turned-fashion-designer Kanye West has been giving Kim Kardashian some fashion advice.
“Kanye has been having chats with Kim about her style. He thinks she should be more like him, edgy with her choices. He keeps saying she should evolve as a fashion icon,” thesun.co.uk quoted a source as saying.
Kim ran a clothing boutique with her sisters Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian as well as her mother Kris Jenner before finding fame. She has also created a successful apparel line named Kardashian Kollection.
However, West thinks Kim needs to be more adventurous with the image.
“Kanye says she plays it safe too much so has been trying to pick outfits for her to wear and encourage her to be more daring,” the source said.
Rapper-turned-fashion designer Kanye West prefers his rumoured girlfriend Kim Kardashian to sport a natural look a la Duchess of Cambridge Catherine Middleton. The rapper has been advising his reality TV star girlfriend’s style team on how he wants her to look, with Middleton as a reference point.”Kanye does like to get involved with Kim’s look. He actually has a lot of input, he has amazing style so we take his opinions to heart and I say, ‘Okay, I’ll try it’,” femalefirst.co.uk quoted Kardashian’s stylist Rob Scheppy as saying.
“Catherine Middleton has influenced her look while in London. Catherine’s amazing. We watched her wedding and we thought it was beautiful,” he said.
West, who has his own women’s fashion line DW Kanye West, is not afraid to speak his mind, and dislikes it if Kardashian wears too much make-up.
“Kanye’s not afraid to say what he likes. He definitely likes the less-is-more look. Everyone wants to look good for their man, so Kim will listen and say, ‘Okay. I’ll go with what my boyfriend says’,” Scheppy added.
Ok, first off, no, everyone does not want to look good for their man. Sometimes people want to be comfortable, and sometimes people want to look how they want to look. I get wanting to get dressed up every now and again, but if your significant other would think less of you because of your makeup or your clothes, then maybe you should find a different significant other. Also, Kim’s been modeling and “designing clothes” for quite a while, and she’s basically famous because people thinks she looks good, so I think she’s got this whole area covered.
Besides, is anyone actually going to take Kanye seriously when it comes to fashion? Did everyone forget what his actual designs look like?
May 27, 2012 at 2:00 pm by Emily
From the National Enquirer:
Kanye West is pleading with GF Kim Kardashian’s mom Kris Jenner to stop having plastic surgery because he’s afraid she’ll end up dead like his own mother. The rap star’s mom Donda West tragically died at the age of 58 in November 2007 – one day after getting a tummy tuck, breast reduction and liposuction.
“That loss crushed Kanye,” revealed a close source. She wasn’t just his mom but his manager as well – just like Kris is Kim’s manager. The parallels are uncanny. Kanye’s gotten very close to Kris. She’s become like a second mom to him, and he couldn’t bear losing another person in his life to plastic surgery. Kanye told Kris, ‘I don’t want to lose ya, baby!’”
Friends and family of the Kardashians’ 56-year-old “momager” fear that she will go overboard with her nip-and-tuck operations. Just before her daughter Kim’s short-lived Aug. 20 marriage to Kris Humphries, her mom announced: “I need a little freshening up.” And as cameras rolled, she headed off to see a plastic surgeon. Clearly nervous before the procedure, she admitted: “I don’t want to die.”
But Kris could have died from embarrassment when a new trailer for the upcoming season of the E! reality show “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” showed her with her top lip enormously swollen in a “trout pout.”
“It appeared that the lip was temporarily disfigured from collagen injections,” said the source. “She looked positively freakish, and (her children) Kim and Rob were alarmed.”
Everyone is worried that her plastic surgery kick “will veer dangerously out of control,” confided the source. But no one is more worried than Kanye, 34, who feels increasingly like a part of the Kardashian family. After only a few months of romancing Kim, he’s already talking marriage with her.
The rapper was previously engaged to Alexis Phifer in August 2006. But their joyous plans collapsed after the shocking, unexpected death of Kanye’s mom – and it haunts him.
This story is believable, and pretty sad. Kanye was extremely upset over his mother’s death, naturally, and it’s obvious that he and Kim have gotten super close, so it would make sense that he got closer to the whole family. But is it weird that I think it’s kind of sweet that Kanye is concerned about Kris Jenner?
Ooh, by the way, that whole thing about Kris Jenner’s lip. We didn’t cover that story, but in case you missed it elsewhere, last week a promo for the new season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians began airing that showed showed Kris with a big ol’ fat lip. The promo didn’t really explain what had happened, but collagen seems like a likely suspect. Here’s an amusing picture:
So, in conclusion, I feel bad for Kanye, but his relationship with Kim just became slightly endearing, and Kris Jenner is still ridiculous.
May 26, 2012 at 9:00 am by Emily
From E! Online:
Kim Kardashian’s boyfriend Kanye West was at big sister Kourtney Kardashian’s baby shower on Saturday.
And yup, the reality show cameras were rolling.
So does this mean Mr. West is going to be appearing on Keeping Up With the Kardashians?
He will…at least a little bit.
Not only is he in the just released television spot promoting the new season of KUWTK, but Kim, 31, tells me he will appear in a few episodes.
“I want to show my life,” she told me earlier today.
While Kim says she’s not ready to talk about her relationship with West, 34, she did say, “If we are having dinner and he does show up, I’m sure we’re not going to go, ‘Stop the cameras!’”
In other words, we won’t be seeing Keeping Up With Kim and Kanye or Kim and Kanye Take the World anytime soon.
“I’m not going to be taking a bubble bath and drinking champagne or on a sex swing [on camera] like Khloé [Kardashian Odom] and Lamar [Odom] do,” Kim said. “It’s not going to be like that.”
Kim admits her marriage to Kris Humphries leaves her a bit weary of sharing as much as she once did.
“My heart’s a little more guarded,” she said. “I showed so much of myself in the past. You almost get embarrassed showing this big wedding, which I would have had cameras or not. So I think you want to just guard yourself.”
Come on, of course Kanye is going to show up on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. That was never really a question, was it? The two most ridiculous celebrities in the world start dating, and you think they’re going to keep it private? Not a chance. Kim Kardashian had a very public, very messy divorce (that, by the way, is still nowhere close to being official) after a very public wedding, and she broke up with her one true love, Reggie Bush, because he didn’t like all the cameras, all the time. But did she learn her lesson? Nope. She’s going to keep going down this road, because it’s all she knows, except this time it will make for some high quality entertainment. I want the Kim and Kanye spin-off right this second. Is anybody with me?
By the way, the new season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians premieres this Sunday, so mark you calendars!
May 15, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily
See, this is a circumstance where I’d normally be prompted to say some random, nice thing about Kim Kardashian, like how short hair and light makeup suits her, but I just can’t, guys. And for two reasons: one, because Kim looks way too much like her mom, and the only worse female in pop culture than Kim Kardashian is definitely Kris Jenner. Two? Because Kim Kardashian is a f-cking conniving dolt who doesn’t deserve any of the “Yeah she’s a twat, but she’s hot” comments that she’s so accustomed to hearing about herself.
These photos were captured this past weekend, where Kim donned a short black wig for aVogue Italia fashion shoot, which I find to be quite interesting, since we, like, just talked about how Anna Wintour hates Kim Kardashian and how she banned Kim Kardashian from ever having anything at all to do with her particular Vogue empire. I guess when you’re overseas, those kind of things change? I don’t know. I realize that Anna’s just the editor-in-chief of the American magazine, but I’m sure she’s got to have some clout elsewhere, too, right? A woman by the name of Franca Sozzani is the editor-in-chief at Vogue Italia, but I guess maybe she and Anna don’t get on so well.
All I know is that if I were EIC of an internationally-known magazine, I’d use my freeze-out powers to put the kibosh on people like Kim Kardashian. I mean, honestly. Can there be that many people out there who actually like and admire Kim enough to want to read her fake, scripted interviews and watch her strut her stupid Botox face professionally? Damn.
Last, Kim’s definite-boyfriend-or-f-ck-buddy, Kanye West, was on set with her, and their first PDA photo was captured (unless you count that one photo where Kanye’s all looking like he had a mild, post-car sex stroke):
See? Gross, right? You can almost see the parasites jumping back and forth from Kanye to Kim in that picture. The things that can be captured on camera these days, guys. It’ll just blow your mind.