Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kanye West

BREAKING: Kim Kardashian Is Pregnant, Expecting Kanye’s Love Child

A photo of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian

From People:

Kanye West dropped a bombshell during an Atlantic City concert on Sunday night, revealing that he and girlfriend Kim Kardashian are expecting a child.

The news of the reality starlet’s pregnancy was quickly followed by an outpouring of congratulatory Twitter messages from family members.

“Oh BABY BABY BABY!!” shouts Kim’s mom Kris Jenner.

Adds sister Kourtney: “Been wanting to shout from the rooftops with joy and now I can! Another angel to welcome to our family. Overwhelmed with excitement!

Kardashian, 32, and West, 35, went public with their relationship last April, about six months after Kardashian filed for divorce from Kris Humphries. The divorce action is still pending.

During Sunday’s concert at Revel Resort’s Ovation Hall, West revealed his big news by singing, “Now you having my baby” to the roar from the crowd of 5,000, the Associated Press reports.

West asked concertgoers to congratulate his “baby mom” and called the pregnancy the “most amazing thing.”

Oh my god. Oh my god. Shut up! Do you even realize what this means? It means a lot of things. It means that Kim Kardashian is pregnant. Just let that thought sink in for a minute. She’s going to be someone’s mom. Some child is going to have Kim Kardashian as a mother. But it also means that Kimye, the greatest couple of our generation, is in it for the long haul. Like, I’m pretty sure this means that they’re definitely, definitely getting married. That is, after Kim’s divorce. Because Kim is still married to her last dude! Oh my god.

What a way to close the year, right? This is already a great day.

It’s OK, Kanye’s Just Wearing a Leather Kilt

photo of kanye west leather skirt pictures
Did you guys watch the 12-12-12 concert last night? I didn’t. I was on a cross-country flight with no internet access (I hate you for missing my flight, GoGo) and I thought I was going to die anyway. Probably right around the time that Kanye was fannying around in his girlfriend’s leather skirt while performing at the aforementioned concert, actually.

See, my plane hit some pretty wicked turbulence about an hour before arrival, and I had visions of tombstones dancing in my head—along with barf bags and my water bottle, both of which were dancing in the air around my head. The last thing I was worried about was whether or not Kanye West was wearing the fashion equivalent of punching myself in the face, you know? Priorities.

Later, when I landed, I found out that my connecting flight had been canceled because of “maintenance,” and had to rent a car to drive almost three hours more to get home. It was a really, really great night/morning, and when I saw today’s picture of Kanye West performing at the Sandy benefit in this outfit, I just knew that it was fate that my plane had landed safely. I mean, how could I have lived another day without this kind of experience?

Isn’t life so, so funny sometimes?

Love It or Leave It: Kanye Does Winter Wear!

A photo of Kanye West

You can say whatever you want about Kanye West, but you absolutely cannot deny that this man has style. He has style out the wazoo. He has style rolled up into little balls and tucked inside each and every one of his pockets, and he has his very own Rumpelstiltskin that sneaks into his room at night to knit him special panties made from threads of gold. Stylish as hell.

Just look at that coat, friends. That’s all you need to know.

It’s All Happening to Kim, Kanye, and Kris All at Once

photo of kris humphries kanye west and kim kardashian
Hey, did you guys hear? Kris Humphries got kicked out of a basketball game last night in Boston. Here’s a clip of Kris and Rajon Rondo shoving one another, because OOH BADASS shoving:

Bunch of f-cking morons. Yes, let’s push one another into the crowd so that innocent bystanders get injured, because that’s thoughtful. Losers.

Anyway, this is what Kim Kardashian is contending with as her divorce continues to chug right along (making almost no progress whatever)—and the fact that Kanye West is being dragged into proceedings again. What’s happening now (aside from more nothing) is that Kris is still insisting that Kim orchestrated the entire relationship and subsequent marriage for television ratings, and Kris’s team subpoenaed Kanye West in order to testify under oath (of course) that he, as a close, personal friend of Kim’s, never knew anything about her plan.

Personally, DUH, of course Kim married this dickhead for ratings, because it’s not like he’s got this shining personality full of selflessness and integrity (as demonstrated on the basketball court), and honestly, I don’t even know why that’s even being contested. It’s no wonder Kris gets squdouche in the pre-nup, because she knew that she was going to divorce his ass anyway. But naturally, Kim’s team claim that Kris is dragging the whole thing out and ordered Kris and his team to stop all the stalling.

The trial is set for February 15th, a day after the most romantic day in the whole entire world*, and won’t that be just a joy to behold.

*Don’t. You know better.

Good Morning, Here’s A Picture of Kimye Kissing

A photo of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

Yesterday, we celebrated the things we are thankful for. Personally, I was especially thankful for my family, including my darling fur babies, and banana pudding. Lots and lots of banana pudding. I was unthankful for my incredibly bitchy cousin and her equally bitchy husband who openly rolled their eyes and laughed when everyone else told me how great I looked (pink hair! Ha ha, I’m a miserable bitch!), but I was thankful for her banana pudding.

I was also thankful for this incredibly wonderful job, and the neat fact that my niece’s teacher reads what I have to say. She saw this site open on his computer, and she told him that her aunt wrote for that, and he was like “she’s fantastic!” So suck on that, haters.

But it wasn’t until this morning that I came across the thing that I am, without a doubt, the most thankful for. The thing that really and truly proved to me what an amazing life I have, and how beautiful the world is. Guys, it’s this picture of Kim and Kanye kissing. It’s Kim’s stupid outfit, it’s Kanye’s stupid face. And I’ll carry this picture in my heart forever.

Kim Kardashian Loves Balls

photo of kim kardashian marine ball pictures
Guess Kim didn’t get the memo that celebrities attending Marine Balls were so last year. Gosh.

Anyway, this photo pretty much speaks for itself—Kim Kardashian was invited to a Marine Ball because BOOBS and when she got there, BOOBS as well. BOOBS all night long, actually, which made any discussion about balls pretty uncomfortable. I bet, however, it’d have been worse if, for whatever reason, it was called the Marine Blue Ball (?).

And also, I’m having a hard time believing that Kanye West wasn’t positively green with envy and red with jealousy that Kim was on the arm of another man, a man who’s probably infinitely more accomplished and infinitely more polite than Kanye himself could ever be.

What a family, guys.

Kanye and Kim’s Wedding Details!

A photo of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian

Yeah, I don’t get this either. We all know that Kim wanted to get engaged on her birthday, but that Kanye got her a chocolate cake instead (which is still the greatest thing ever, right?). I thought that was the end of the Kimye engagement rumors for at least a week or so. But I was so, so wrong.

Hollywood Life has some very specific information though, not about their engagement, but about their wedding:

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West‘s wedding will definitely be one to remember — and not just because of their celebrity status! The two are reportedly planning a blow-out bash that could cost close to $20 million!

“The wedding planner alone will cost almost half a million dollars,” a source tells OK! magazine. “Kim is thinking of using David Tutera, who has [worked with] everyone from Jennifer Lopez to Jewel to Barbara Walters.“

But that’s just chump change in the grand scheme of their pricey extravaganza!

“Kim’s all-time favorite singer is Celine Dion, and she has had her people reach out to her for a price; usually a private performance runs well over $6 million.” a source tells the mag. “Another option they’re strongly considering is Beyonce, who will be there anyway.”

As for the big white dress (which would be Kim’s third gown), the 31-year-old reportedly wants “options” — including a $8.5 million getup!

“Kim’s dream dress would have real pearls and white diamonds, like the [gown] designed by Yumi Katsura, which cost $8.5 million,” a source says.

I’m sure you know that in the world of gossip, Hollywood Life and OK! magazine are closer to the National Enquirer than, say, People in terms of veracity, but something about this whole thing just screams “from the desk of Kris Jenner.” It’s in all the details -”real pearls and white diamonds” on the dress and the possible performance by Celine Dion. It’s also in little phrases like “Beyonce, who will be there anyway.” Because we all know that while Beyonce might be there, she sure as hell won’t hop up to do “Halo” for Kim f-cking Kardashian.

So while I don’t think this story is true, I think the Kardashian family really, really wants it to be true. I think Kim has already picked out her next engagement ring and her next dress, and I would totally believe that she asked Celine Dion about performing at her wedding. The only person who isn’t totally on board is Kanye himself. Oh, and Beyonce.