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Kanye West

2Kanye West to Kim Kardashian: “Change or My Ass is Bouncing”

Oh my God that title is so, so wrong on so, so many levels.

But yeah, Kanye‘s allegedly fed up with Kim Kardashian‘s shiny, fake, jetsetting ‘Keeping Up With the Kardashians’ lifestyle, and wants things to change if Kim expects Kanye to be sticking around for another season. Kanye claims that he’s responsible for reviving Kim’s “career” after she crash-landed it after her menstrual cycle-long marriage to Kris Humphries, and feels entitled to some gratitude. And normalcy. And anal sex, presumably.

What? Can’t a guy just be honest anymore?

October 17, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Sarah

2Kim And Kanye Are Buying A House Together!

A photo of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

From TMZ:

Kim Kardashian is ready to MOVE IN with Kanye West … and the two are now officially on the hunt for a home together in Miami … TMZ has learned.

Sources connected to the couple tell us … K&K have been talking about getting their own place for a couple of months … and believe Miami is the perfect location because they both love the city.

Plus, Kim will be in town for the next couple of months to shoot a reality show with Kourtney.

We’re told the Ks checked out 4 homes yesterday — all waterfront properties — and the mansions all ranged between $7 and $10 MILLION.

See? It’s ok! Everything’s ok! All those rumors about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West falling out of love were obviously completely and totally false! Doesn’t that just take a weight off your shoulders?

But why Miami? No, I know, they both “love the city” and Kim is filming there, but is this supposed to be permanent, or is Kanye just going to be featured on Kim’s show? Because I have a hard time believing that Kim would settle down anywhere that’s not L.A. Could this new story just be something from Kim’s people (Kris Jenner, let’s just be real) to quiet all the stories of Kanye being over Kim? Oh god, it is, isn’t it? Dammit.

October 10, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily

20Kanye Is Embarrassed of Kim, Didn’t Invite Her to Fashion Week

A photo of Kanye West

Hey, what are you doing right now? Like, right this minute? Me, I’m just hanging out, talking to you guys, yawning my face off and trying to fight the urge to take a nap three hours after I woke up. You’re probably at work, or maybe you’re out somewhere checking in on your phone or whatever. Maybe you’re just sitting at home like me. But Kanye West? He’s in Paris, checking out the fashions over there. And his lady love, Kim Kardashian? Well, she’s not in Paris.

A few days ago, I told you about this awful rumor that Kanye was getting tired of Kim. And today, I’m going to tell you again that Kanye is getting tired of Kim. So brace yourselves, because it’s about to get real sad.

See, Kanye, as you probably know, is a fashion designer. Fashion is very, very important to him, and he has to keep himself in the know of all the latest trends. That’s why he’s attending Paris Fashion Week, to gather information (his next show is in March!). But you know what he did? He RSVP’d to a bunch of shows, didn’t ask to bring a guest, and then, a few weeks later, he mentioned to Kim that he was going. Like, “sorry, baby, it’s going to be super packed, I can’t even bring anybody!” But why?

“He didn’t think it was good for his reputation,” says a source. Oh, and “he didn’t want to hurt her feelings.” But also “he’s uncomfortable bringing her” and “wants to be taken seriously.” Ouch.

Ok, but here’s the thing: Kanye’s not even taken seriously, not in the fashion world. I’m sure he thinks he is, but I’m just saying, if that’s his concern, no worries, darling! And the other thing is that Kim is busy filming her new reality show about hanging out in Miami (this show features Kim and Kourtney, who previously had a show together in New York. Kourtney and Khloe had the first show in Miami), so she probably wouldn’t have been able to go anyway. Or I don’t know, could she have gone? I hope not. That’s the only thing that’s making me believe this story isn’t true, and I really don’t want it to be true.

October 5, 2012 at 6:30 am by Emily

8Quotables: Kim Kardashian Doesn’t Think of Anyone Besides Kanye

photo of kim kardashian wedding dress pictures

“It’s so nice to have a best friend in this game who understands everything you’re going through. Being with someone I’ve known for so many years is comforting. He’s been there through so many different stages of my life and before I was famous, so this relationship is a different thing entirely. It’s good to be aware that he definitely doesn’t want anything from me too, because he understands the business. I can’t even think about being with anyone else than the man I’m with.”

See, what a nice sentiment this would be if it weren’t so damn off-putting for two big reasons. One? It’s coming from the mouth of Kim Kardashian, who had both the words “I do, Kris Humphries (but only for 72 days)” and Ray J’s penis in her mouth on camera. Two? She’s talking about Kanye West, and when you combine those two (three, really) things, you’ve created the perfect storm of pathetic, gross, and kill me soon.

Get a grip on yourself, girl. You’re just embarrassing yourself now.

October 4, 2012 at 6:30 am by Sarah

3Are Kim Kardashian And Kanye Falling Out of Love?

A photo of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

Please. Please, no. There’s only so much the heart can take, and this is far too much. If Kim and Kanye fall out of love, then what sort of chance do the rest of us have? How can the rest of us hope to make it in the world if Kimye isn’t strong enough to last?

Ok, here’s the rumor. Read it and weep, friends:

Friends are wondering if things are cooling off between Kim and her new beau, Kanye West, who appeared in her life just in time to take the attention away from her disastrous marriage and divorce with Kris Humphries.

While Kim is in Miami to film her family reality show, Kanye has been living it up at Paris fashion week, even though he isn’t showing his clothing line there. On Sunday he was at a party hosted by Diane von Furstenberg and Olivier Zahm to celebrate the 20th anniversary of Purple magazine.

Another source tells us that things between Kanye and Kim are “cooling off” because “he’s getting tired of the constant press and promotion. He’s not as tight with her as he was.”


A “source” that’s “close” to the Kardashians popped up long enough to say that there’s “no truth” to this rumor, and I am just hoping against hope that that’s right. Or at least that Kim is already pregnant, so if they do break up it won’t be that big of a deal because she’ll already be cooking up the greatest human to ever live.

October 2, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Emily

7Love It or Leave It: Couples Edition!

A photo of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

Sometimes I roll my eyes so hard that it hurts my head. But it’s not like this big awful horrible pain, it’s just this quick pain that passes as soon as my eyeballs return to their normal position. But it feels weird, so then I roll my eyes again. I do this a couple of times until it doesn’t amuse me anymore, and then I go back to doing whatever I was doing, which is usually the thing that caused the initial eye roll, and the cycle starts all over again. And I repeat the cycle until I’m ready to focus again, or, you know, until I want some juice or whatever. Do you guys ever do that? Because I do it a lot, and I just did it after I saw this photo of Kim and Kanye.

It’s just that both of them just go on and on about how much they care about fashion, and how important fashion is, and how they’re just so fashionable, but then they step out looking like this. You can tell that Kanye’s trying real hard with those pants, and Kim … listen. That ill-fitting, unflattering thing that Kim is wearing? That costs $4,710. She paid nearly $5,000 for that mess.

I think it’s time to look for some new fashion icons, all right? I just … oh. You mean the only people who actually consider Kim and Kanye fashion icons are Kim and Kanye? All right then, well, I guess there’s nothing more to discuss.

September 15, 2012 at 2:00 pm by Emily