The point of this story is that Kim Kardashian is retiring from reality TV in its various incarnations – Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kourtney & Kim Take Miami, Get the Kardashians Off My F-cking TV Already, etc. After five years, she wants to use being knocked up as a turning point and stop living her life in front of the camera… but only because Kanye West pointed out the concept of “privacy” to her.
From to DuJour magazine:
“My boyfriend has taught me a lot about privacy. I’m ready to be a little less open about some things, like my relationships. I’m realizing everyone doesn’t need to know everything.”
“When you live your life so publicly, like on a reality show, people assume that they know every side of you already,” she adds. “But they always want more.”
Not only does everyone not need to know everything, we also don’t want to. I can count on zero hands how many people I know who actually give a shit about the Kardashians and what they’re doing in life. I’ll “watch” (read: zone out to) one of their shows if they’re on, but I never absorb any information, most likely because there’s none to absorb. They’re a family with too much money and not enough brains, but they’ve learned how to turn that into even more money, so good for them.
In any case, how hilarious that Kanye is responsible for telling Kim to cool it with sharing her entire life with the general public, and that it never occurred to her before now. I suppose it’s never too late for a little common sense, and lucky for us, the Kardashians’ various TV shows probably won’t last much longer once Kim goes. Every cloud has a silver lining, people.
Raise your hand if you find Kim Kardashian annoying. Now clench that hand into a fist and prepare to punch your computer screen, because things are about to get even worse. The socialite/reality star/whatever the hell she does is five months pregnant with Kanye West’s baby and is getting pretty down about gaining weight – you know, as you do when you’re growing a child in your womb.
From The New York Daily News:
Kim Kardashian has always been curvalicious but a source tells us the 32-year-old reality star — who is approximately five months pregnant with beau Kanye West’s baby — is not pleased about her expanding figure.
“At first, she didn’t mind because she was excited to be pregnant,” says a source close to Kardashian, who has reportedly gone up four cup sizes. “But now she’s flipping out because she didn’t think it would be this extreme.”
But West doesn’t seem to feel the same way. “He encourages her to eat whatever she wants. He tells her not to worry, and it makes her feel better,” says the source.
I’m not gonna front – as women, we’re conscious about our bodies to a degree and of course having to adjust to being a different size and shape than you’re used to or comfortable with is going to be disconcerting. However, there’s a difference between putting on 10 pounds because once you popped, you really couldn’t stop with that container of sour cream and onion Pringles and totally another to begrudge the human being brewing in your body because your tits are a little unwieldy. To “flip out” because of a natural process is the most ridiculous thing pretty much ever and there’s no way to get around it except to, you know, go on birth control and never have children. Especially when she barely looks any different! Ugh, go away!
Deadmau5, a Canadian “electro-house producer” known for wearing a gigantic-ass mouse head, gave some words of love and encouragement for rapper Kanye West. Just kidding he said, “I f-cking hate him.” He didn’t say this out of the blue, though. It’s not like he went into a Starbucks and said, “I’ll have chai latte and I f-cking hate Kanye West.” Vibe Magazine asked who he would most like to work with. And like any self respecting adult, his answer was,
Anyone other than f—ing Kanye. I f—ing hate him.
Bravery level: so.
Well whatever, Mouse Head, I’m not fond of you either. You get all pissy whenever someone refers to you as a “DJ” while acting like what you do and make is like John Lennon 2013. How is what you do that different from being a DJ? And what’s wrong with DJs? In 2008 in an interview with Irish Daily Star he said,
It puts me to f-cking sleep, to be quite honest; I don’t really see the technical merit in playing two songs at the same speed together and it bores me to f-cking tears and hopefully, with all due respect to the DJ type that will f-cking go the way of the dinosaur, I’d like them to dis-a-f-cking-ppear! [And then here he called them a very bad word.]
Please tell me more, from inside of your giant mouse head. Also you’re engaged to Kat Von D, who is bad on so many levels she’s like a dilapidated shopping mall. Remember when he proposed to her on Twitter? That has nothing to do with anything, I just like reminding people about that.
I understand why you wouldn’t like Kanye West — you’re not the first — but dude, don’t be a dick. Kanye is talented and super successful and a huge name in the industry and you’re wearing a f-cking mouse head, Joel.
Kanye West has always been at the forefront of fashion, so it’s no surprise that he ventured into the ladies wear territory late last year when performing in a leather skirt at a benefit for the victims of Hurricane Sandy. Did he look ridiculous? Of course. Did anyone really care about his stupid outfit when we don’t really care about Kanye in general? Not particularly.
However, apparently some people have been giving poor ‘Ye a hard time about his love of a crisp a-line, because he wants photos of him wearing the clothing to be removed from photo agency websites so people will stop making fun of him. Boo hoo!
From The Sun:
There hasn’t been a bigger champion for the man skirt than KANYE WEST.
But the US rapper seems to have given up on his one-man mission to make the clobber socially acceptable outside Scotland.
He’s asked picture agency Getty Images to delete every snap they have of him in his leather skirt at the Hurricane Sandy benefit gig last year.
The rapper got ribbed over the outfit by stars including CHRIS BROWN. Tellingly, his request came after rap rival LORD JAMAR posted a track online called Lift Up Your Skirt — an unflattering take on Kanye’s fashion fixation.
Lyrics include: “He introduced the skinny jeans to the rap scene/Then he wore a f-cking skirt on the video screen/Then he wore it again at a memorial/I can’t pretend this shit ain’t deplorable.”
Okay, first of all, no one has ever heard of Lord Jamar, and you kind of need to be on the same wavelength to be a “rival”, I feel. Second of all, Chris Brown dressed up like a member of the Taliban for Halloween (in addition to being the worst human ever created), so I doubt that’s much to be offended by. Doesn’t Kanye know about The Streisand Effect?
This is Kanye in Paris, and it must either be cold, or he’s got a rancid, raging case of facial herpes that he’s worried about the world seeing. I’m guessing it’s probably that second thing, because I don’t know about where you guys are, but it’s been damn cold here on the Mid-Atlantic coast of the United States. It’s been postively frigid, and I mean that when I say it, considering I’m originally from northeastern Pennsylvania, where a day of -2 is no big deal.
That all being said, I prefer to think that Kanye has a big old outbreak that he’s trying to disguise (and with Kim Kardashian as a girlfriend, that’s totally plausible), and not that he’s a big old weenie when it comes to weathering cold temperatures.
In any case, it’s totally ridiculous and I hate it. The end.
Kanye’s face wear: love it or leave it?
Oh my gosh, wouldn’t it be neat if you could decide every single thing about your kid before you even had one? Maybe? I can’t decide if it would be neat or boring or creepy, but for Kanye‘s sake, I’m going to lean toward neat for now.
See, Kanye, way before he impregnated Kim Kardashian, already planned out what his son was going to be like, and he documented it all in a song called “New Day.” The song was one of his collaborations with Jay-Z on Watch the Throne, and one of his verses went a little something like this:
And I’ll never let my son have an ego / He’ll be nice to everyone, wherever we go / I mean I might even make him be Republican / So everybody know he love white people / And I’ll never let him leave his college girlfriend / And get caught up with the groupies in the whirlwind / And I’ll never let him ever hit the telethon / I mean even if people dyin’ and the world ends / See, I just want him to have an easy life / Not like Yeezy life, just want him to be someone people like / Don’t want him to be hated all the time, judged / Don’t be like your daddy that would never budge / And I’ll never let him ever hit a strip club / I learned the hard way, that ain’t the place to get love / And I’ll never let his mom move to LA / Knowin’ she couldn’t take the pressure now we all pray.
Well, some of this stuff is nice, at least. He says he won’t let his son have an ego, which … well, I guess it depends on Kanye’s definition of the word. Because if he thinks that he himself doesn’t have an ego either, then oh, this poor child. But the part about wanting him to have an easy life is sweet, and the part about not letting him go to strip clubs with bad intentions. And of course, the part about his mom is heartbreaking, and totally implausible now that the mother of Kanye’s child is going to be Kim Kardashian. But most of this is actually ok. Except the bit about making him be a Republican and not letting him ever do telethons. That sounds a little controlling.
Do you think Kanye’s going to be a good dad?
Kanye West dropped a bombshell during an Atlantic City concert on Sunday night, revealing that he and girlfriend Kim Kardashian are expecting a child.
The news of the reality starlet’s pregnancy was quickly followed by an outpouring of congratulatory Twitter messages from family members.
“Oh BABY BABY BABY!!” shouts Kim’s mom Kris Jenner.
Adds sister Kourtney: “Been wanting to shout from the rooftops with joy and now I can! Another angel to welcome to our family. Overwhelmed with excitement!
Kardashian, 32, and West, 35, went public with their relationship last April, about six months after Kardashian filed for divorce from Kris Humphries. The divorce action is still pending.
During Sunday’s concert at Revel Resort’s Ovation Hall, West revealed his big news by singing, “Now you having my baby” to the roar from the crowd of 5,000, the Associated Press reports.
West asked concertgoers to congratulate his “baby mom” and called the pregnancy the “most amazing thing.”
Oh my god. Oh my god. Shut up! Do you even realize what this means? It means a lot of things. It means that Kim Kardashian is pregnant. Just let that thought sink in for a minute. She’s going to be someone’s mom. Some child is going to have Kim Kardashian as a mother. But it also means that Kimye, the greatest couple of our generation, is in it for the long haul. Like, I’m pretty sure this means that they’re definitely, definitely getting married. That is, after Kim’s divorce. Because Kim is still married to her last dude! Oh my god.
What a way to close the year, right? This is already a great day.