*Warning: The video is NSFW for language, so unless you’ve got earphones or have a boss that digs loud-ass “motherfu-kers” and “n-ggas” with their coffee-and-bagel breakfast, you might be well-advised to use them. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

So, OK. Best part of the video? Adrien Brody, of course. But the rest of it’s pretty great, too. I still haven’t seen Midnight in Paris (I know, I should really probably get on that), but after watching the video, accompanied by the vocal stylings of Kanye and Jay-Z, I think I have a pretty good idea that I’m going to positively love it. Granted, I could do without all of the Kanye, but I don’t think I have to worry about that as far as the film itself goes.

About the video:

Kanye West and Jay-Z’s anthemic “N*ggas In Paris,” a track off their Grammy nominated Watch The Throne album, gets the quirky comedy treatment, courtesy of a new mashup that combines their audio with visuals from the film “Midnight In Paris.”

In the movie, Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Marion Cotillard and the rest of the class trip along through a few centuries and dip in and out of France’s most prolific artistic circles, meeting the likes of Ernest Hemingway, Salvador Dali and F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Here’s the original video, in case there was any confusion that Jay-Z and Kayne may have written the song for the movie:

No. See? Not at all. We’ve got that straight, now, right?

Also, have any of you guys seen this movie yet? It won all sorts of awards and it’s been nominated for a whole bunch of others, plus, a lot of people have a raging hard-on for Woody Allen so I’m sure some of you must have seen it already. If so, what did you think? Think the flick would have been better if Jay-Z and Kanye’s song were included on the soundtrack?

You know, if someone could change the world, it would be Kanye, also notably known as Yeezy World Peace. I mean, he’s done so much already, he’s really right on the verge of making this world Kanye’s world. And on this clear Thursday afternoon, I’m ok with that. I find peace in that.

But to catch you all up, let me show you what Kanye had to say on his Twitter yesterday. be warned: it’s some pretty heavy reading.

What good is fame and prestige if you can’t use it to help people… I want to help by doing what I know how to do best .. create

I have started a new company and I’m so excited about the name…. it’s got the best name ever of all companies of all time!!!…. The name of the company is DONDA. DONDA is a design company which will galvanize amazing thinkers and put them in a creative space to bounce there dreams and ideas…

I am assembling a team of architects, graphic designers, directors musicians, producers, AnRs, writers, publicist, social media experts… app guys, managers, car designers, clothing designers, DJs, video game designers, publishers, tech guys, lawyers, bankers, nutritionist … doctors, scientist,teachers… DONDA will be comprised of over 22 divisions with a goal to make products and experiences that people want and can afford…

I want to put creatives in a room together with like minds that are all waaaay doper than me. We want to help simplify and aesthetically improve everything we see hear, touch, taste and feel. To dream of, create, advertise and produce products driven equally by emotional want and utilitarian need.. To marry our wants and needs.

This will all take time but I wanted everyones to know what I really care about… I care about people. I care about my fans.. I care about people who have never heard of me… There are over 7 billion people on the planet now… It’s something about coming from music that makes me so optimistic… Music travels and is not limited to only the wealthy.

Sometimes my grammar is wrong but my thinking is right : ) My mom was an English teacher so I know she sends an SMDH from heaven : )

The Watch the Throne tour was a small example of what a Donda Experience can be… This one of our projects to be released this year called 2016 OLYMPIC’s … It’s a semi sic-fi since 2016 is only 4 years away : ) We would also like’ to design the MTV awards. We’re taking everything 10 steps at a time LOL!

I wanted to put this in the world in hopes that the people who can actually make a difference will stand up and reach out. We need as many amazing powerful smart talented wealthy people to be involved… Come get on board… don’t just sit there… reach out. We can collectively effect the world trough design. We need to pick up where steve jobs left off.

When I said wealthy I wanted to point out there are so many billionaires in the world that can come together and help to redesign it.  Help education. School systems were designed to turn people into factory workers. Schools should be designed to prep human beings for real life. Spike Jonze and I want to do a Summer school that tries new forms of cuuriculim. Math classes should teach addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, accounting and money management aaaaaand cut!!! UNLESS YOU’RE A MATH MAJOR!!!! Kids you should be able to take majors starting in grammar school like how it is at performing art schools.

Instead of kicking kids out of schools for using there iPhones… why not promote it? Allow kids to use search engines to do test like the real WORLD!!! Give kids the amount of test they would have in a year in one day but they have to get everything perfect… Some kids have better memories than others… what about emotional IQs… what about kids who do bad in school because of how bad there surroundings are? I meant to say their…excuse me… I just get excited at the possibilities… the more excited I get… the more grammatical errors you’ll see…

We need to take what Michael Jackson felt and Mcqueen and Steve Jobs and we need make things better…

I sit everyday and ask what can I do to make a difference… I know this is not a very rapper thing to say but I haven’t bought a new car or piece of jewelry in about 2 years… I invest every dime back into creativity… hiring amazing creatives paying for flights, offices … etc… My area of expertise is in music, my passion is in music design film and products… my strength is connectivity…

There are so many broken systems from the economy to school systems jail systems… we need experts for this… We need scientist and top world designers to directly affect governments.

If anyone would like to reach out email us at contactDONDA@gmail.com. I just wanted to share what’s been on my mind….

So that’s what Kanye has been thinking about these days.  What’s been goin’ on in your noggin?

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “Now, damn it, Emily, that’s no Yeezy World Peace! That’s Kanye West, clear as day! I was born at night, girl, but not last night! You’ll have to wake up earlier in the mornin’ to fool me!” And if you’re thinking that, then why are you thinking in the voice that I imagine my grandmother has to take my mind off the fact that she’s heaping piles of food on my dinner plate while calling me Thunder Thighs?

Either way, we’re both right. That is, in fact, a photo of the delightful Kanye West, but don’t you dare call him that. That is, if you want him to spin records at your New Year’s Eve party. See, Kanye has been doing some thinking on his Twitter lately, and here’s what he came up with:

I kinda wanna DJ somewhere this New Years

I don’t want to see any movie that doesn’t have mind blowing special effects… #EVERAGAIN

My New Years DJ name is gone be YEEZY WORLD PEACE! If you book me you have to put YEEZY WORLD PEACE on the E-vite. Or I ain’t spinning.

I’m not sure where his thought about special effects came from, but that’s besides the point.  The point is that Kanye, excuse me, Yeezy World Peace, wants to DJ, you guys!  He’s already come up with his rider and everything:

Ima need a stealth bomber and 2 bottled waters #YEEZYWORLDPEACE’SRIDER

So, you see, Yeezy World Peace needs us to believe in him right now. Yeezy World Peace has dreams, he has things that he wants out of life, and we don’t support Yeezy World Peace, then who will? Do you see?

In a world where Kanye West berates people for throwing business cards on stage, Yeezy World Peace throws rainbows and a wide variety of gourmet chocolates off of his. Where Kanye West lands on lists of the biggest douchebags of the year, Yeezy World Peace lands on lists of the best people who ever existed ever and who also cured cancer and discovered unicorns in nature (he is the only one on the list). Where Kanye West thinks people equate him with Hitler, Yeezy World Peace builds a time machine and uses it to convince Hitler that his views are wrong and invites him to do a collaboration with him on his next album.

Are you with me yet? Yeezy World Peace, you guys. Trust.

#5 – Doug Hutchison

I know. I know. Some of you guys probably have a soft little spot in your hearts for Doug Hutchison because he just seems on the outskirts of fame, sometimes brushing shoulders with it, but mostly being cast side-long glances by people who matter because he’s so on the fringe that it’s impossible to pull him into the mainstream. And he’d almost be a sympathetic character if he weren’t f-cking a teenager. Because I don’t care how “young at heart” or “hip” you are; statutory rape is statutory rape, even if it’s consensual statutory rape, and that’s just creepy, yo.

#4 – Michael Lohan

There’s not really an explanation as to why Michael Lohan’s on this list. He kicks women in the cooter, is King Douchebag of the Lohan Clan, isn’t even tolerated by the most unstable Lohan, and was once married to Dina Lohan. Plus, he sucks at escaping police custody. Please. Doesn’t all of that give him a lifetime membership card to, like, be on this list for the rest of his time on earth?

#3 – Kanye West

Kanye’s a drama queen. A drama queen who freaks out over projectile pieces of paper and a drama queen who compares himself to Hitler. Kanye thinks he’s God’s gift to politics, women, music, and the economy, and the only ones douchier than Kanye himself are his fans.

Jump in to find out who the top 2 douches of 2011 were!

#2 – Ashton Kutcher

Douche, douche, douche. Douche who cheats, bare-backed, on his much-more-famous wife with randoms who can’t keep their mouths shut. On his anniversary. To the woman who helped make him famous. He took over for Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Men. You HAVE to be a sort-of douchebag to play the role of Charlie Harper. Lastly, he gave Lea Michele FALSE HOPES that she’d be his lady love. Normally, I’d commend him for that, because it’s funny as hell, but everything else he’s done this year has completely cancelled that out.

#1 – Kim Kardashian

Do I even have to elaborate on this one? No. I don’t. Because if you don’t know all of the shiesty, low-down hijinks she’s been up to, I don’t even know what to tell you, friends.

Specifically, Kanye threw the biggest fit over a business card that someone tossed on stage during one of his concerts because he could have been killed.

After the business card was so malevolently thrown on the stage, Kanye stopped the concert. He demanded to know who had done the dastardly deed, because, as he said in his characteristic eloquence, “We risking our lives up here. You can’t go throwing shit that we gonna slip on.” When no one confessed, Kanye pulled everyone’s least favorite kindergarten teacher move and said “unless one person raises their hand and says ‘I’m the one who did it’, all that whole section gotta go.”

Thankfully, the carelessly violent individual revealed himself and was escorted out of the concert. But we might not be so lucky next time. Next time, some misguided lady thinking herself to be Kanye’s soul mate might throw her panties on the stage, or a young up-and-comer might dare to toss a demo up there. And BOOM, just like that, one of the geniuses of our time could be gone.

Just be careful, you guys. That’s all we ask.

“I was just thinking about my funeral and stuff a couple days ago and thinking who would be at the funeral. People who I want to be in the funeral. I wanna have world leaders that were, like, affected, that said, you know, ‘Kanye gave me my shot here.’ Or ‘he pushed me,’ or ‘he told me to believe in myself,’ or ‘when I saw this, it made me feel like that.’ I wanna affect people like that when I, like, pass away.”

- Kanye West the greatest orator of our generation, discusses the grandiose plans he’s been making for his funeral.

And here’s a bonus quote: “It’s like I’m on a pursuit of awesomeness. Excellence is the bare minimum.”

Is there a company whose sole purpose is to put this genius‘ words on merchandise? Because I would kill to have a coffee mug that read “I’m on a pursuit of awesomeness.” Or a hoodie that says “one day the light will shine through and one day people will understand everything I ever did.” When I get married, my wedding band will be engraved with the words “super dope counterpart,” and when I have babies, I want then to have cloth diapers that read “they try to take my shit out of context.” Now who can I talk to about this business idea?

Poor Kanye. I really do feel bad for him sometimes. Like that time that he thought that everyone thought he was Hitler, or that time that he professed that all he needed was a lady who would ride or die. And now there’s this time.

See, last night Kanye had his very first fashion show. In Paris, even! He got the courage to show the world his very first collection, Dw Kanye West, and what did the world do? It spit in his face, that’s what it did.

Here are a few excerpts from a review in The Wall Street Journal, titled “Good Thing Kanye West Has A Day Job”:

Zippers were unzipped. Snakeskin pants were metallic silver. There was a very large and furry fur backpack. For an arctic Spring/Summer  2012.  Necklines plunged so precariously that they seemed a personal shout-out to J-Lo.  Heavy beading – including one breastplate of a top – recalled the Flintstones. Strips of crocodile hung without reason from a leather skirt. There were lots and lots of tight leather pants.

I liked the perforated black leather. Yet a vast quantity of luxury materials can’t blind people to a lack of creative marksmanship.

There’s something about fashion design that makes untrained people think they can do it, too. Never mind the years of study and practice it takes to create Azzedine Alaia or Alexander McQueen, whose designs reveal that a few millimeters of fabric is the difference between excellent and also-ran.

Still, Lindsay Lohan was there! And the Olsen twins! And it’s Kanye!

Next, Marc Jacobs pitches for the Yankees!

I’ve included a bunch of pictures from the show so you can decide for yourself if Kanye’s clothes are really all that bad. Don’t hold back!

Images courtesy of Fashionista

Here’s a baby Kanye—age 23ish, I’d guesstimate—performing some slam poetry. I know! And he’s pretty good.

The poem itself is all about posing and posturing even when, deep down inside, you’re just insecure, neurotic, and consumed with self-loathing. Huh.

Side-note: the MC, Mos Def, introduces Kanye as “the Future of Hip-Hop.” Wild.

Yes, a Kanye West musical. Are you as excited as I am?

The show is going down in Australia, where a couple of bros decided to get together to write, produce, and perform a delightful little two-man show simply titled Kanye: The Musical. But what is it about exactly?

“This is a story of a struggle against the man to become the man. It’s about a guy who took a shot at the throne and didn’t miss.”

Songs from the show include “A Bright, Shining Star,” sung by Kanye’s mother upon her son’s birth, “Rappers on My Dick,” which takes place after Kanye gets popular, “What Was I Supposed to Do,” a song from the character of Mike Myers after the infamous “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” incident, “Why Me, Oh Lord,” which documents the Taylor Swift debacle, and finally, the finale of the show, “One Day They’ll Understand,” with the moving closing lines:

Try and try but they just won’t see

Maybe they was never really ready for me

Don’t fret no more, hold my head in my hands

One day, I know, they’ll understand

No joke, if I was in Australia, I would see this show in a heartbeat. Would you?

He’s Hitler, he’s a demon … I truly get so confused with Kanye and all of his West-ness. I just don’t know what to think sometimes, or which “baddie” file drawer to stick him in. Last night at a show in Norway, Kanye said:

“It feels so good to come by here and rock y’all tonight. We come to make sure you all have a good time ‘cos so many bad things have happened. I’m so thankful to have my voice back and I want to thank everyone. Watch The Throne is number one in 23 countries with no press or promotion. … You know how I feel about the press. I hate the press. They try to take my shit out of context. They try to demonize me, but it don’t matter because my fans are always here.”

Yes, Kanye, your fans are always there. I don’t particularly know any of them, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist, you know?

I walk through the hotel and I walk down the street, and people look at me like I’m (expletive) insane, like I’m Hitler. One day the light will shine through and one day people will understand everything I ever did.

—Kanye West, during a concert on Saturday.

The entire speech, delivered during West’s performance of “Monster”:

Our baby is growing up! If rumors are true, Kanye West has hired Gordon Ramsay to teach him how to cook. (Kanye reportedly wants to impress his entourage in the kitchen.)

Please, please let this really happen. They’re my two favorite hotheads!

How the first cooking lesson will go, probably:

Gordon: Hello?

Kanye: Yo, dawg, I heard you like fresh herbs in your casserole, so I started a garden on my windowsill.

Gordon: Oh, for F—-’s sake.

Kanye: Hang on, I think I forgot the casserole in the oven. *puts on a tall chef’s hat*