So today is the last day of the Intimacy Experiment, and while some of you will rejoice with joy that it’s over (and seriously – did you think that I could just, I don’t know, ‘end’ the experiment six days in just because you didn’t like it? LOLZ), some of you – namely those of you who are keen to win super awesome stuff from K-Y – will probably lament this brief, but sweet, segment that was hosted by K-Y on our site.

Today’s activities generated a lot of reflecting on the past ten days and allowed us to incorporate everything that we learned over the past week and a half about ourselves, our relationship, and the things that we’d forgotten in our six-plus year journey, and to allow ourselves focus on the areas that we need to further cultivate.

My husband and I decided, after looking at the notes we’d made over the past ten days, that there was one major thing that that we wanted to incorporate together into our everyday lives: doing one thing a week that’s ‘out of the ordinary.’ Our weeks kind of transition easily one to the next, and a lot of times, they look the same. School, work, cook, clean, relax, run errands, take care of the family – lather, rinse, repeat. It’s great to settle into a routine, especially if you’re like me and derive comfort from the familiar, but we had a lot of fun doing spur-of-the-moment things that we wouldn’t have given a second thought to otherwise if it weren’t for the experiment.

If you’ve been following the experiment all along, what have you guys decided to do in your relationships to better them in the ways that you can?

Don’t forget, the experiment can be taken for free starting tomorrow (check out K-Y’s Facebook page, Couples Place, for information on how to download the manual) and also, today’s the last day for you to enter to win a kit of goodies for yourself, too! Leave it in the comments! Two winners will be chosen this week!

I wrote this posting while participating in a blog campaign on behalf of K-Y^® Brand and also received product samples to help facilitate my review. In addition, K-Y^® Brand sent me a gift card to thank me for taking the time to participate.

Show of hands, how many of you guys have settled into what some consider to be the dreaded ‘routine’ of a relationship? You know the drill – you wake up, roll out of bed (sans kiss or better), fly into the bathroom – leaving the door wide open to showcase your morning pee – and stumble off to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee, nary a ‘Good morning, darling!’ in sight? Because chances are, unless you’re in a very new relationship, or you’re one of the freaks of nature, much like my parents, who’ve been married thirty-five years this year and are still SICKENING, you’re in the majority, friends.

Today’s exercise encouraged us to break out of the routine and take a walk on the wild side (Dire Straits. Just saying). According to research:

” … A little danger can boost sexual attraction: in one experiment, an attractive young woman stood in the middle of a tall suspension bridge. Every time an unaccompanied man ventured across the shaky bridge, she would ask him to participate in a brief survey. The next day, she repeated the task on a shorter, sturdy bridge. On both days, she gave the men her phone number and invited them to call her later for the results. Not only did the researchers find that the men on the shaky bridge were more likely than their stable-bridge counterparts to call the woman later for results of the survey, but they were also far more likely to ask her for a date.”

OK. I’m going to be honest – we didn’t go THAT far in trying to generate some liaisons dangereuses, and I’m not quite sure how my husband would respond to me handing out our phone number to perfect – male – strangers, but we did take K-Y’s suggestions to heart. K-Y recommends doing crazy stuff outside of the home to get the adrenaline pumping, such as:

-White-water rafting
-Hang gliding
-Sky diving
-Bungee jumping
-Go-kart racing
-Kayaking
-Indoor rock climbing
-Hiking
-Rollerblading
-Ice skating
-Playing paintball or laser tag
-Horseback riding
-Visiting an amusement park

We took a page right out of the book and did the whole go-karting thing, but unfortunately, it wasn’t all that spontaneous – we saw a year-round place open earlier this past week when we went to go have our taxes done, but hey, taxes are sexy, right?  The choice was kind of a spoiler because we were looking for a chance to check it out anyway, but guys? It was fun. And apparently, I have a pretty competitive streak in me, too (who would have thought).

At any rate, the go-karting definitely put things into a certain, um, perspective, and I fully expect my comeuppance later on for beating the snot out of my SO on the track earlier today.

Not that I’m, you know, complaining.

Don’t forget to check out K-Y’s Facebook page, Couples Place, to find out about more upcoming events and to check out the other bloggers’ progress – and as always, leave your entries in the comments to win a kit of your own!

I wrote this posting while participating in a blog campaign on behalf of K-Y^® Brand and also received product samples to help facilitate my review. In addition, K-Y^® Brand sent me a gift card to thank me for taking the time to participate.

Today’s exercise for the K-Y Intimacy Experiment was cooking together. If I may say, I’m a banging cook – I can make anything from the perfect soufflé to your basic chicken and ham pie. I kind of pride myself on my cooking, and to allow just anyone (husband included!) to cook in my gourmet kitchen – it’s gotta be for a good reason, guys, like I’ve become bedridden or, you know, for this experiment.

What did we make? A huge, homemade pot of spaghetti sauce, complete with sausage and meatballs. We didn’t go fancy – it’s the middle of February. Rib-sticking comfort food is kind of where it’s at, especially since it’s been so COLD as of late. The experiment called for oysters as a first dish (loaded aphrodisiac cliché), but I think oysters are disgusting, no matter how you slice it – pun totally intended. Sorry! The experiment also called for asparagus, but after I had my heart set on spaghetti and meatballs, asparagus didn’t really seem like a good pairing (though I did make it a few weeks ago, brushed with olive oil, a bit of sea salt, and cracked peppercorns and then broiled and it was uh-mazing). However, the suggested red wine and dark chocolate was to die for, and I’m glad we went the extra mile to incorporate those two into the meal.

We both ate enough to collectively rupture something, and as far as I’m concerned, if I can be honest, after the heavy spaghetti-and-meatballs dinner, the dark chocolate pie and two glasses of red wine? I’m more apt to want to sleep than to try and be all sexy. It’s not every day that I can take advantage of being this comfortable and relaxed on a Saturday at 8 PM.

Anyway, statistics show that 58 percent of couples who cook together on a regular basis are more satisfied with their sex lives than those who don’t – whether it has to do with the bumping and grinding that, you know, sometimes goes on during garlic mincing or egg-beating, who knows, but there’s definitely something to it, and previous instances suffice as creed.

Don’t forget – you guys have two days to enter for a chance to win your own K-Y Intimacy Kit, including a guidebook that’s just chock-full of all sorts of super suggestions to spice up your relationship – especially for this time of year!

Also, be sure to check out K-Y’s Facebook page, Couples Place, for further information on upcoming trials, and chances to win other cool stuff from K-Y!

I wrote this posting while participating in a blog campaign on behalf of K-Y^® Brand and also received product samples to help facilitate my review. In addition, K-Y^® Brand sent me a gift card to thank me for taking the time to participate.

Great. Just great.

Another totally crap song from my earlier years that will be stuck in my head ’til I get the NEXT totally crap song from my earlier years stuck in my head.

I’m on the home stretch of the the K-Y Intimacy Experiment, hitting up day seven out of ten, which centers around the idea of no relational limitations today by developing a ‘love map.’

What’s a ‘love map,’ you ask? Why, I’ll tell you. According to Dr. John Money of Johns Hopkins University, who coined the term back in 1980, the ‘love map’ refers to the ‘sexual template expressed in every individual’s erotic fantasies and practices.’ In short? HOO-daddy, SEXUAL FANTASIES.

This ‘love map’ tells of your base desires that trigger an erotic, physical response and validates where our turn-ons (and offs) come from.

We were to journal, and discuss, those things that turned us on, even if it was unexplainable. We sat down, took out a pen and paper, and both went at it, starting with previous sexual encounters that we’d experienced together, and then with other partners. (What, you’re going to judge me because boyfriend’s not the only one that I’ve slept with? It’s not 1942 you know.) I thought I’d be uncomfortable discussing my previous sexual endeavors with my, you know, husband, and equally uncomfortable hearing about his, but guys? I wasn’t. I guess if I’m talking about myself, there’s not much I CAN be uncomfortable about, since it’s kind of one of my favorite past-times.

I digress. (See? I get all carried away, talking about myself, and we’re totally off topic. You can imagine where this afternoon’s conversation between my husband and I ended up, badum-ching.)

After making our lists, in private, we were to review them on our own. We determined whether or not the noted experience still turned us on (um, yes) and if there were any that we now regretted, in the light of day (hardly). We hooked up a little later after our reflections and shared and compared. It turned out that we had a lot of similar experiences outside of our relationship, and shared a lot of turn-ons that had occurred within our relationship, too.

We were going to then separate and do a list of turn-offs, only to reconvene later, but after sharing our lists, we took a little afternoon siesta and THAT. Is all I will say about that, thankyouverymuch.

Day Seven? Total win, and thank you to K-Y for giving us such great ideas to begin stirring up old ideas.

You guys can check out the other bloggers that are participating in the experiment over at K-Y’s Facebook page, Couples Place, and also check out The Bachelorette‘s Trista and Ryan‘s page to find out how they’re dealing.

DON’T FORGET – you have a few days left to enter for your own kit, which will include the experiments that I’ve undergone and documented here, and some that were too hot to talk about in such a public forum (OK, not too hot to talk about, but sponsors don’t want this turning into a complete porn site, believe it or not). Leave your name and website in the comments and tune in after February 14th to find out if you’ve won (I mean, I’ll contact you by email one way or the other, but come on. IT’S FUN).

I wrote this posting while participating in a blog campaign on behalf of K-Y^® Brand and also received product samples to help facilitate my review. In addition, K-Y^® Brand sent me a gift card to thank me for taking the time to participate.

OK, so this song is going to be in my head now for the next three weeks, no doubt. I had the Imperial March (what what Star Wars fans) on loop in my ear the other day and sang it for hours while I cleaned my house.

Anyway, today’s exercise for the totally awesome K-Y Intimacy Experiment involves touching and connecting on a physically affectionate level as much as humanly possible.

My husband had some classes earlier this morning, so cuddling it out in the wee hours of the morning was out of the question. Plus, I had a wicked weird dream that my family was being chased through decrepit old houses in New Orleans at gunpoint, and when we escaped into the alleyway, it flooded. Like, swimming-with-the-fishes big time flooded. The dream, nevertheless, sent me awake with a shot (ha see what I did there?) and instead of rolling over to get some early-morning comfort, I booked it to the bathroom, where I gripped the sides of the sink and examined my night terrorized, sweated up face in the mirror for exit wounds or telltale signs of swimming in the Mississippi.

Anyway.

When he got home, we made it a rule that if we entered a room that the other happened to be occupying at the time, we’d have to hug and kiss for at least ten seconds on entry and exit.  It did a bunch for our libidos, since we couldn’t go much further than just hugging and kissing.

Tonight, I’ve got some musical stuff going on, and the hubs is going to have a ‘date night’ with our daughter (this entails pillows, blankets, Goldfish, and chocolate milk on the living room floor while watching either Toy Story 3 or The Wizard of Oz for the forty-thousandth time this month) so I’ve totally given my her a free pass to suck up all of the physical affection I’m going to miss out on tonight.

Bottom line? The extra efforts of connecting physically – outside of hot, rampant sex – totally made the day, and I can definitely say that when I get home later on this evening, I’m heading directly for a little more than just a squeeze and a peck on the cheek.

You guys want to spice things up yourselves? Here are some sneak-peak suggestions straight from the experts at K-Y’s ‘Good in Bed’:

-Hugging (try a few 30-second hugs from Day Two of the program!)
-Holding hands
-Snuggling or cuddling while watching TV or a movie
-Kissing (not just ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ but ‘just because)
-Playing footsie under the table at dinner
-Lightly touching him or her on the arm while talking
-Offering a quick foot or neck massage at the end of the day

Check out K-Y’s Facebook page, Couples Place, to see how the other bloggers – AND The Bachelorette‘s Trista and Ryan – are doing!

Don’t forget to enter in the comments for your chance to win a kit of your own!

Today’s portion of the experiment involves thinking outside of the box (ha … HA) and focusing on having fun together, outside of just sex. Reports in the study show that boredom outside the relationship can directly affect just how ‘boring’ it can get inside the bedroom, and today’s agenda prompted us to get busy outside the house, doing things that we’ve never done before.

After thinking long and hard about something we’ve never done – together or otherwise –  we chose one of the most random, and ultimately, stupidest things ever.

See, we live by the beach. Literally – we’re like, a half-mile away. But before you go getting all excited and wondering what fabulous beachside locale I live at, I’ll tell you – it’s a COLD BEACH this time of year. We’re talking polar bear-cold. We’re talking ‘don’t even go near the shoreline ’cause it’s so fricking frigid’ cold.  It’s not pleasant, to say the least.

Last month, the town decided to jump on the New Year bandwagon by hosting a polar bear swim. When I read about it in the paper, I laughed and thought, ‘Crazy asses. You couldn’t pay me to do that crap.’ Even though I LIVE almost on top of the ocean, the water’s got to be at least eighty degrees for me to get in (I know, pathetic, right?). But despite the fact that I was adamant that this polar bear thing was whack, my husband, the thrill-seeker, was intrigued, saying that he’d never done anything like that before either.

Fast-forward to today.

And you know where I’m going with this.

Yes – we did. We took the dip, fully clothed, in the ocean near our home today. We got our vehicle all nice and toasty, spread blankets and towels over the seats, and left it running while we did the ultimate in stupidity and immersed ourselves

Guys? You don’t KNOW the meaning of the word ‘cold’ until you willingly walk into the ocean on a thirty-five-degree day, when the water’s temperature is a whopping thirty-nine, according to NOAA.

I can’t say that it did much for bonding, but it definitely woke us the hell up. I appreciate the whole ‘doing something new’ together, but next time? I’ll leave the polar bear plunge to the experts.  Even saying ‘I thought I was going to die’ is putting it mildly.  All I could think of was the epic line in Titanic when Jack is beseeching Rose not to jump off the back of the ship (crazy ass ho):

” … Water that cold, like right down there … it hits you like a thousand knives stabbing you all over your body. You can’t breathe. You can’t think. At least, not about anything but the pain.”

Right.  Insanity.

Bonus, though, do you know how hot car sex is on a freezing, overcast day when you’re half-frozen, wet, and trying to suck up as much body warmth as you possibly can?

Heh.

Check out K-Y’s Facebook page, Couples Place, to hear more about the experiment, and as always, don’t forget to enter in the comments for your chance to win a kit of your own from K-Y, just in time for V-Day!

I wrote this posting while participating in a blog campaign on behalf of K-Y^® Brand and also received product samples to help facilitate my review. In addition, K-Y^® Brand sent me a gift card to thank me for taking the time to participate.