16J Woww is Angry That You Saw Her Bum, Says It Was Photoshopped

Jan 2, 2013 | #myass part 1!!!! My real booty lol make fun of mine not a fake one lol by JENNIWOWW on Keek.com

Jan 2, 2013 | #my ass part 2!!! by JENNIWOWW on Keek.com

J Woww says the photo of her ass circulating the internets is “vile” and “disgusting,” and claims that a huge amount of Photoshopping happened in order for her bum to look like … well, like my grandmother’s, if my grandmother wore skanky, too-short sequin dresses and had the bad judgement to bend over while on stage.

After watching the video, do you guys believe that the original photo was, indeed, ‘shopped, or do you think it was definitely her ass, just from a bad angle?

January 3, 2013 at 3:30 pm by Sarah

6Happy New Year from J Woww’s Ass

So Jersey Shore‘s J Woww and Snooki were tapped by MTV to host their New Year’s Eve celebration the other night, none other than J Woww’s grandma ass made an appearance, as you can see from the photo above.

In what can only be described as foreshadowing, J Woww had this to say about her then-upcoming stint as co-host of MTV’s Club NYE 2013:

“[I'm] preparing for a sh–show, basically. I’m trying to find that happy medium of not drunk but drunk… so not too drunk. Not like Snooki wasted but before that. Before my eyes start crossing and I can still read the teleprompter.”

Snooki, the show’s other host, had this to say:

“I’m still trying to get my body back form having a baby so I wanna make sure I have enough sparkle and enough bounce in my hair. I just wanna make sure I look good cause I know hosting with Jenni’s gonna be so much fun. I’m not worried about that but I just wanna make sure I look the part.”

In related news, J Woww is a rabid hose beast who wears dresses that are too short to live. Coincidence? I hardly think so.

Happy, happy New Year, everyone!

January 2, 2013 at 5:30 pm by Sarah

23JWoww Is Still Engaged, Ruined Her Face

No, listen, I love JWoww, I really do. She and Snooki are my very favorites, without a doubt. I think that, for all of her drunken antics, she’s got a good head on her shoulders, and even though she claims that she’ll rip a guy’s head off after having sex with him, I think has a big heart. No, it’s just her face. She just ruined her face.

Here’s a picture of JWoww after the filming of the second season of Jersey Shore:

She still has those enormous implants, obviously, but I don’t think she’d had any other plastic surgery at that point. She looks cute, right? But now look at JWoww now:

That’s crazy, isn’t it? I couldn’t even begin to name the procedures she’s has done, unless there’s a “your whole face”-plasty. It’s just everything, her whole face looks weird and tweaked. And she’s only 26 years old. Just meditate on that for a minute. This 26-year-old woman did this to her face. Are you disturbed? Because I’m a little disturbed.

So here’s a palate cleanser:

It’s my little kitty cuddling my big kitty’s head on top of my dresser with the teddy bears on it! They have not had any plastic surgery.

October 9, 2012 at 9:30 am by Emily

6Q: Is There a Way to Class Up Trash?

A: In a word? NO.

But the Jersey Shore bitches are trying really, really hard in their shoot for YRB, which stars like Paris Hilton and Khloe Kardashian have graced the cover of. Yes indeedy, they’re truly giving it the old college try, whatever the eff that means.

Don’t get me wrong: they all look good. All of them, seriously. Even the trollish one who normally makes Snooki look like a frigging tall, willowy beauty pageant winner. It’s amazing, really.

Anyway. I’m going to leave this one up to you guys – the Jersey Shore gals: can you dress ‘em up and make them OK to look at for a few minutes without breaking out into hives and herpes-by-osmosis?

Photos courtesy of TooFab

August 3, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Sarah

2Quotables: JWoww’s Settling Down!

“Hopefully I’ll be able to settle down and have kids within the next couple of years — maybe even the beginning of next year. I don’t see myself going to the Shore in the next five years or so. I don’t want to jinx it — I haven’t really talked about it — but it would be nice.”

- JWoww divulges her baby dreams!

I’m going to take an alternate viewpoint on this, ok?  Ready?  I don’t think this is a bad idea.  If you watch Jersey Shore regularly, you can see that JWoww actually seems to have her shit together.  Remember that one episode where she and Snooki had to go to her house because her ex-boyfriend went crazy and she had to get her dogs?  You could tell that she had a pretty nice house, and she had all her finances in order, and did you see how much she cared about those dogs?  And if you look back on it, the only times she ever gets into those trashy fights is when she’s being protective.  You know, when she’s being maternal.  Get it?

In short, I think it would be completely acceptable and totally adorable if JWoww were to settle down and pop some babies out in the next couple years.  Is that so crazy?

April 8, 2011 at 12:30 pm by Emily

6The Jersey Shore Crew Really Knows How to Dream Big

For instance, did you hear that the fourth season of the show is going to be filmed in Italy?  Can you even begin to imagine the sort of hijinks these kids will get into over there?  I can, and it involves many trips to the U.S. Embassy, several offended Italians, an average of 27 hilarious issues from language barriers per episode, and the destruction of at least one priceless artifact.

As if this wasn’t enough evidence of Jersey Shore thinking outside the box, there’s also the glorious news about a JWoww/Snooki spin-off.  Here’s the rundown:

The storyline — Snooks is finally moving out of her parents’ house and into a place with Jwoww — but, (surprise!!!) she’s totally unprepared to deal with actual real-life problems.

For example … the two have their sights set on a $1.5 million pad, but they don’t know what a mortgage is … or how to write a check … and they keep getting distracted by the “hot” mortgage broker.

But conflict erupts — so say the docs — because during their cohabitation, Snooki … gasp … “made a mess of the bathroom and didn’t change the toilet paper.” She also “ate a ton of Jwoww’s food” … and anyone who’s ever had a roommate knows that crap don’t fly.

And then they start their own book club and have classy parties and it’s just like a modern Laverne and Shirley, only smarter and edgier and more tan.  Right?

January 26, 2011 at 11:30 am by Emily