Today's Evil Beet Gossip

JWoww dresses her baby in ridiculous clothes

jwoww baby
For better or worse, Jersey Shore’s Jenni ‘JWoww’ Farley is someone’s mother and her little girl must be dressed to the nines at all times. While she only gave birth to little Meilani about two months ago, already that child is primped like a beauty pageant queen. Take the following photo, for example:

I personally believe this is tantamount to child abuse and someone needs to call CPS. (Yes, thickos, I’m kidding.) Cute kid, hideous outfit, but what can you do?

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JWoww had a baby and her name is…

jwoww roger mathews

Jenni “JWoww” Farley announced her pregnancy back in December and no one really cared. People do seem to care, however, that she’s just given birth last Sunday.

JWoww and fiancé Roger Mathews welcomed a baby girl over the weekend and they named her Meilani Alexandra Mathews. Meilani? Not exactly Jersey Shore material, but I kinda like it.

The baby weighed 7 lbs, 13 oz and mom and baby are apparently doing well/are nice and healthy. Congrats to them!

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JWoww Is Pregnant; World Says, “Whatevs”


JWoww, someone who is so barely relevant it almost hurts, is pregnant with a child. She revealed the good news in a Christmas card. Here’s what she wrote, via E Online:

Merry Christmas from within! Roger and I couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas gift this year! We wanted to share this exciting news with you all first because you have been a part of our lives these past few years and seen the love between Roger and I develop and blossom.

We are so excited to share this new chapter of our lives with you as we become parents and create more memories with a new addition to our family!” she continued. “Thank you for all your love and support and for being there for us throughout the years! We are extremely happy and cannot wait for our bundle of joy to arrive!

“Merry Christmas from within” sounds creepy as F-CK. Like she’s hosting an alien parasite in her bod.

By the way, totally unrelated, but don’t look at her bum here. She wouldn’t like it, even though it’s the only thing she’s done in almost an entire year we’ve blogged about.

Just sayin’.

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J Woww is Angry That You Saw Her Bum, Says It Was Photoshopped

Jan 2, 2013 | #myass part 1!!!! My real booty lol make fun of mine not a fake one lol by JENNIWOWW on

Jan 2, 2013 | #my ass part 2!!! by JENNIWOWW on

J Woww says the photo of her ass circulating the internets is “vile” and “disgusting,” and claims that a huge amount of Photoshopping happened in order for her bum to look like … well, like my grandmother’s, if my grandmother wore skanky, too-short sequin dresses and had the bad judgement to bend over while on stage.

After watching the video, do you guys believe that the original photo was, indeed, ‘shopped, or do you think it was definitely her ass, just from a bad angle?

photo of j woww pictures

Happy New Year from J Woww’s Ass

photo of j woww ass new year's eve pictures
So Jersey Shore‘s J Woww and Snooki were tapped by MTV to host their New Year’s Eve celebration the other night, none other than J Woww’s grandma ass made an appearance, as you can see from the photo above.

In what can only be described as foreshadowing, J Woww had this to say about her then-upcoming stint as co-host of MTV’s Club NYE 2013:

“[I'm] preparing for a sh–show, basically. I’m trying to find that happy medium of not drunk but drunk… so not too drunk. Not like Snooki wasted but before that. Before my eyes start crossing and I can still read the teleprompter.”

Snooki, the show’s other host, had this to say:

“I’m still trying to get my body back form having a baby so I wanna make sure I have enough sparkle and enough bounce in my hair. I just wanna make sure I look good cause I know hosting with Jenni’s gonna be so much fun. I’m not worried about that but I just wanna make sure I look the part.”

In related news, J Woww is a rabid hose beast who wears dresses that are too short to live. Coincidence? I hardly think so.

Happy, happy New Year, everyone!

JWoww Is Still Engaged, Ruined Her Face

A photo of Roger Mathews and JWoww

No, listen, I love JWoww, I really do. She and Snooki are my very favorites, without a doubt. I think that, for all of her drunken antics, she’s got a good head on her shoulders, and even though she claims that she’ll rip a guy’s head off after having sex with him, I think has a big heart. No, it’s just her face. She just ruined her face.

Here’s a picture of JWoww after the filming of the second season of Jersey Shore:

A photo of JWoww

She still has those enormous implants, obviously, but I don’t think she’d had any other plastic surgery at that point. She looks cute, right? But now look at JWoww now:

A photo of JWoww

That’s crazy, isn’t it? I couldn’t even begin to name the procedures she’s has done, unless there’s a “your whole face”-plasty. It’s just everything, her whole face looks weird and tweaked. And she’s only 26 years old. Just meditate on that for a minute. This 26-year-old woman did this to her face. Are you disturbed? Because I’m a little disturbed.

So here’s a palate cleanser:

A photo of Emily's cats

It’s my little kitty cuddling my big kitty’s head on top of my dresser with the teddy bears on it! They have not had any plastic surgery.

Q: Is There a Way to Class Up Trash?

photo of jersey shore girls yrb pictures hot photos makeovers pics

A: In a word? NO.

But the Jersey Shore bitches are trying really, really hard in their shoot for YRB, which stars like Paris Hilton and Khloe Kardashian have graced the cover of. Yes indeedy, they’re truly giving it the old college try, whatever the eff that means.

Don’t get me wrong: they all look good. All of them, seriously. Even the trollish one who normally makes Snooki look like a frigging tall, willowy beauty pageant winner. It’s amazing, really.

Anyway. I’m going to leave this one up to you guys – the Jersey Shore gals: can you dress ‘em up and make them OK to look at for a few minutes without breaking out into hives and herpes-by-osmosis?

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Photos courtesy of TooFab