You know who Justin Timberlake looks in this video? Danny Masterson, or ‘Hyde’ from That 70′s Show. Seriously, all he’d need is the stoner squint and some glasses, and it’d be spot-on, even the mannerisms. And Ryan Gosling, goodness. He was just as sweet as pie. Not that I watched the Mickey Mouse Club when I was younger or anything (Are You Afraid of the Dark was more my speed), but are any of you who did, like, totally thunderstruck that these two, who got their starts on MMC, are two of the hottest tickets going today? And for the younger crowd (do we have a younger crowd?), who do you think, today, will be next decade’s hottest tickets?
Remember that time that everybody heard about Mila Kunis having racy pictures of Justin Timberlake on her phone? Remember when one of those pictures was supposed to be his penis? Well, you can just keep on dreaming about finding the fabled JT dick pic, because it’s just. Not. Real. Or so Justin and Mila’s people would have you believe…
‘At no time did Mr. Timberlake and Ms. Kunis exchange inappropriate texts or emails… The insistence that there is any inappropriate correspondence between the two parties is entirely false. We would like to confirm that the photo addressed in the media of Ms. Kunis was in fact not from any phone but from an inactive email account that has not existed in three years. In regards to the other photos in question, they were never exchanged between the two parties. In closing, Mr. Timberlake would like us to make it clear that while he might write songs about putting things in boxes, he never has and definitely doesn’t make a habit of taking any photos of them and sending them… Ms. Kunis would like us to add that while she is a fan of the song, she does not have nor has ever had photos of any male parts in her possession.’
This is the cheekiest statement ever, isn’t it? It does absolutely nothing to make me think that there’s nothing going on between these two, and I really don’t think they even tried. However, the “Dick in a Box” reference is extremely appreciated.
There is a rumor going around that they are ring-shopping and getting engaged. No. While she may be looking at rings, he is not. These tales of ring-shopping and wedding-planning are pure gossip supplied by her publicist to make people think that their client is every man’s dream girl. She sure is… if your dream girl would never sleep with you. You see, she is a lesbian. A very pretty lesbian, but a lesbian nonetheless. Always has been. He was her beard. Even though they are still friendly (cordial would probably be more accurate ) he still agrees to be seen with her occasionally to keep tongues wagging. It’s over, and he has moved on to another hot actress… who really does sleep with him.
Ok, you might remember that I don’t care for Biel, but think about it. Remember that time that Justin called her the “most special person” he’s ever known and that he didn’t want to talk about the break-up because “I have to protect things that are dear to me – for instance, her”? She’s his BFF, you guys! That’s why you always see them doing bro stuff like riding bikes and jogging and looking not-so-in love. Oh, and remember this ensemble? Throw in all the rumors of Justin and Mila hooking up, and I believe I’ve just thoroughly convinced myself, at least.
What about you?