Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Justin Timberlake

Court Tosses Super Bowl “Wardrobe Malfunction” Fine

Hi guys.

Sorry posting is slow today.

I have a fever. :( So mostly I’m sleeping. I haven’t had an actual fever in a really long time. I forgot how much it sucks. Your whole body tingles and it really just blows. So I’m gonna write a little bit more and then get my ass back to bed and hope this shit is gone by tomorrow.

And by “write” I mean “copy and paste from other articles.”

A federal appeals court on Monday threw out a $550,000 indecency fine against CBS Corp. for the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show that ended with Janet Jackson’s breast-baring “wardrobe malfunction.”

The three-judge panel of the 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that the Federal Communications Commission “acted arbitrarily and capriciously” in issuing the fine for the fleeting image of nudity …

The court found that the FCC deviated from its nearly 30-year practice of fining indecent broadcast programming only when it was so “pervasive as to amount to ‘shock treatment’ for the audience.”

So there you go. Four-and-a-half years later. Justice is swift.

I’m Famous, Bitches!

Madonna Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction, Pictures, Photos

Madonna, Iggy Pop, Justin Timberlake Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction, Pictures, Photos

Madonna was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in NYC on Monday night.

She posed on the red carpet with Justin Timberlake and, inexplicably, Iggy Pop, who, like, needs to wear a shirt. I have no idea which of the voices in his head implored him to go topless in front of the cameras, but you know Madge is just sitting there like “Dude, my stomach puts yours to shame. But people will run my picture even with my clothes on. That’s where we differ, you famewhoring nobody.”

Madonna Is Finally Getting the Acknowledgement She So Richly Deserves

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After decades of toiling in near-obscurity, a little-known musician by the name of “Madonna” will be inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame on March 10.

Her induction will be announced by an equally unnoted artist, one Justin Timberlake.

Other inductees include Leonard Cohen, John Mellencamp, The Dave Clark Five, The Ventures and Little Walter.

Okay, so I’ve heard of John Mellencamp, and I know Leonard Cohen is that guy from that REM song, but I’ve never heard of any of the others. And “Little Walter” just sounds like the name that some old dude living in a trailer park in Montana gave to his penis.

And is Madonna even a rock musician?