Olivia Wilde, who I never really pay attention to in the grand scheme of things, became my new best friend when she felt it necessary to go on Twitter just to tell Justin Bieber to put a shirt on and stop looking like a reject from a Vanilla Ice biopic audition room. Well, that last bit was all me, but you know what I mean.
Justin’s tour of terror of the UK saw him go shirtless in Birmingham last week as if it was the middle of summer in Capri. The reality is that it’s f-cking freezing here and he looks like an idiot – more so than usual, that is. It’s almost as if he was trying to punish my eyes because he had a shitty birthday or something. I’m not a violent person, but he just makes me want to punch things. Repeatedly.
If this idiot wasn’t bad enough on his own, now he’s sent the Bieber army after Olivia to attack her for daring to insult their king. Can anyone 18 and younger please be banned from using the internet, like, ever? Or at least make them their own little corner so I don’t have to see anything they do or read anything they have to say?
More pics of the ‘Ice Ice Baby’ singer – oops, sorry, wrong person – out in Birmingham below.
Kylie Jenner is only 14 – an age at which I was still playing with dolls (I liked doing their hair and I was a late bloomer, OKAY?) – but she’s apparently in a relationship with Will Smith‘s son, Jaden Smith. The pair were spotted going to lunch in London over the weekend, making me wonder if they were two of the underage kids turned away from Justin Bieber‘s circus party.
From US Weekly:
Jaden Smith has been keeping up with Kylie Jenner! The 14-year-old Karate Kid actor recently began romancing the Keeping Up With the Kardashians star, Us Weekly can exclusively reveal. “They’re dating,” says a source. “It’s new, but they’ve been friends forever.”
The young stars were most recently spotted together on a lunch date at Caffe Nero in London’s famous Piccadilly Square on Sunday, March 3. Jaden — who next appears in the movie After Earth, opposite his famous dad Will Smith — was in town to celebrate his pal Justin Bieber’s 19th birthday.
I don’t have any commentary on this. It’s just… whatever.
Justin Bieber‘s panties – sorry, knickers – have been in a twist since he’s been in London, especially since the city was solely responsible for putting a stop to his underage circus party last week. Like any toddler, he was bound to throw a fit in retaliation, and that came in the form of showing up two hours late for his concert at London’s O2 arena last night. Needless to say, fans – and, you know, their parents – are none too pleased. To make matters worse, he didn’t even bother to apologise once he got on stage. RUDE!
Is Justin the first artist ever to show up late for his show? No, of course not. But two hours is excessive, especially when you know right well that most people in attendance are children who have school the next morning and their parents who have brought them there. It’s also a hardship for the O2 staff, who had to deal with an unruly crowd and the daunting task of getting a 25,000 capacity venue emptied in 25 minutes in order to make the last departing train. Sounds like fun for everyone!
Needless to say, many parents and journalists took to Twitter to voice their annoyance with this little shithead:
What a disaster, but to be expected from an unruly child. Newsflash, asshole: your ego will cost you bigtime, and that 15 minutes of fame that’s due to expire soon is going to come to an even quicker halt if you keep this up. I know you think you’re a thug now, but what you really need is a spanking and to be sent to bed without supper. Maybe that’ll teach you.
Poor Justin Bieber! Scrawny White Usher wanted to celebrate his 19th birthday in style at London’s Cirque du Soir nightclub on Friday and was optimistic about the evening ahead of him. A circus themed party for someone over the age of 7? What’s not to love?
Yeah!! Party time!! Let’s go pop Cristal and have our friend Mike’s brother’s best friend’s cousin who was just released from prison give us homemade tattoos while clowns juggle bowling pins for hours!!!
However, all was not well – Justin left the club pretty quickly after he arrived when his guests clashed with security guards at the venue. I can only imagine what it was about. Bringing in their own Slurpees? Trying to pay for drinks with coins from their piggy banks?
:’( HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? Justin is said to have gone straight back to his hotel after the incident. I must not know what a good birthday is, because that sounds like one to me. A comfy hotel room? Loads of money to order room service with? What more do you need?
Don’t worry, Justin. Drake feels your pain.
Justin Bieber has a fondness for hideous body art and won’t stop getting tattoos, which his mother, Pattie Mallette isn’t really into. But, like anything else, she doesn’t care all that much and thinks he’s just going to do what he wants to do anyway, so why bother saying anything about it.
From Entertainment Tonight:
“That’s one of those things that I don’t necessarily have to like,” said Mallette, acknowledging that, at 18, her son is legally an adult. “He’s going to make his own decisions.”
I suppose ugly tattoos are small potatoes on the list of things she “doesn’t have to like”, like being a total asshole, doing drugs, singing annoying songs… I could go on, but I’ll spare you. Obviously she’s right in the fact that he’s old enough to do what he wants and tattoos are one of those things that people will get regardless of their bad taste, so it’s whatever on this one. I just wonder why people continue to ask what Pattie Mallette thinks about anything relating to her kid, as she obviously doesn’t care, so long as the cash keeps rolling in.
Justin Bieber looked really stupid today. But like, especially stupid. He wore an outfit something Kreayshawn would wear. Because some dude named Ryan dared him to.
Ryan said you won’t go out in that, I said watch me [...] Haha, too colorful. Next time I’m gonna wear a black hat
Effing poetry right there. The hat was apparently given to him by a fan, AKA, “A Belieber.” That’s kind of nice actually, I think it’s cool he did that. Although by wearing it and joking about it is he making fun of it?
It’s still not as bad as what Kim Kardashian wore a few days ago, and that was by her own choice.
If you’d like to see more angles of Mr. Bieber’s stupid outfit, you can check out this photo on his Instagram.
This begs the question though: who, then, dared him to wear this outfit for meeting the Prime Minister of Canada?
Justin Bieber, the Canadian version of my worst nightmare, is constantly doing things to annoy me and all other humans over the age of 12 (like wearing the gas mask above to go out shopping in London over the weekend. Like, what?), but there’s good news! NASA wants to send him to space… probably so far out that he never comes back. It all started on Twitter when Justin said he wants to perform in space. That’s idiotic, but NASA felt the need to respond to his request by offering their assistance in getting him off planet earth.
I mean, LOL, I guess? I don’t care where Justin goes, so long as it’s not in my face, on my TV, on the radio, on the internet or anywhere else. And some other people seem to be catching on to the feeling – he was turned away from a Manchester night club on Saturday, as well, for being an awful dancer. Seriously:
I’m feeling you, Sankeys. I’ll come through next time I’m in Manchester.