I mean, seriously, ladies, look at that fine specimen right there. Really just get a good long look at that tall glass of water. Couldn’t you just drink that right down? If you got to walk around on his arm, wouldn’t you constantly thank the heavens that you’d been so incredibly blessed?
According to Justin himself, yes, yes you would.
From Star via Celebitchy:
Seriously unbeliebable. Cocky Justin Bieber has been heard telling Selena Gomez that she’s “beyond lucky” to have him as a boyfriend. “She’s so arrogant and immature at times,” a tipster says. “Her friends keep telling her to just dump him for good already.” But whenever he senses that she’s ready to end things, he pulls off some romantic stunt, like renting the Staples Center for a screening of Titanic. “Those kind of gestures go a long way with her,” the source says. “But she probably won’t put up with him much longer.”
Oh god, the Titanic thing again. Is Justin Bieber seriously the guy who does one single romantic thing for you and then holds it over your head for the rest of the relationship? Of course he is. I bet when Justin hit that photographer and Selena got all pissed at him over it, he was like “shut the f-ck up, babe, or you won’t get no more private screenings of Titanic,” and she was like “you just assaulted someone,” and he was like “yeah, just like I assaulted your heart at the Staples Center.” And then he asked for a blow job.
What a character, you guys.
July 30, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily
“I’m actually part Indian. I think Inuit or something? I’m enough percent that in Canada I can get free gas.”
Other very important points that Justin covers in the interview include fondue (he’s had chocolate fondue, “with, like, strawberries and stuff,” but not cheese fondue, because “who eats the cheese kind unless you’re old and from Paris?”), car accessorizing (he essentially bedazzled the dashboard of one of his cars with his initials), and manhood (“I could have a child right now. That’s nuts.” Yes, it is).
Never change, Justin. Just keep on kickin’ that wisdom forever.
July 22, 2012 at 8:00 am by Emily
Also, did you know? Justin Bieber carries himself in a more manly way, too! Can you even believe it? I can’t. It’s just too much. I thought that we’d heard it all when we found out that Selena Gomez was just a waste of a girl, living only off of the sheer fame that emanates from Justin Bieber’s manly, manly penis, but apparently I was wrong—it only gets better.
Here’s what he had to say to RS about being a man and not a boy AT ALL:
“I feel like I carry myself in a more manly way. I don’t carry myself as a boy.”
But don’t worry, guys—before Justin got too far up in his ivory tower, our boy Usher shot him down, calling him a child:
“He’s more mature than the average child — or rather, young man.”
So, there it is, guys. Usher officially shot Biebz down. THE BIEBZ went down in a blaze of children. Which sounds really, really bad, but you know that Usher’s quote probably buried Justin, and he had to go forth and kick another photographer in the shin while crying to Selena that “people just don’t get” him.
Does this make your night? Does it make up for the fact that I subjected you to Octomom’s bloodless, marbleized body this late in the game? I mean, can it please?
July 18, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Sarah
Poor, poor Justin Bieber. Sure, he’s a superstar, the new King of Pop, even, but he’s still an 18-year-old boy. We may know him as the best boyfriend ever, but he still has urges, and he still has needs that even his beloved Selena Gomez can’t satisfy.
Yes, we’re about to talk about Justin Bieber’s sex life. Strap yourselves in, friends. It’s about to get ugly.
From Us Weekly via Celebitchy:
Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber are struggling to hold on to each other. Bieber, 18, has spent the last year and a half wooing Gomez – renting LA’s Staples Center for a private screening of Titanic, lavishing her with gifts, treating her to a helicopter tour of Toronto – but sources say the pair have been on the brink of a breakup for months.
“They fight and then make up all the time,” says a friend. At issue? Schedules that mean spending too much time apart – and plenty of girls willing to ease Justin’s loneliness.
“Justin loves Selena, but he’s starting to feel antsy,” reveals a source close to Justin. “He’s in his prime and can get any girl he wants. He has definitely thought about being free.”
At Justin’s March birthday bash, Selena and Justin stayed close and “Selena kept telling everyone she wanted to have Justin’s babies.” But just days later, Gomez left for Florida to shoot Spring Breakers and Justin stayed behind in LA.
“Selena’s schedule is crazy and has become a source of contention. She has broken big plans – like a trip to Mexico – with Justin six times, and he complains.”
By mid-May, Bieber was losing patience.
“He feels he should be tapping all the girls who come around,” says the Bieber source. “It’s hard.”
Justin tried to initiate a split, but Gomez wasn’t having it. “She freaked out,” says the source. “So he apologized and got back together with her.”
Then, at the MuchMusic Awards in June, Justin was acting “weird” says a source, and then he had a mini-breakdown. As his trademark hair was styled, “Justin was not in a good way. He was upset and crying, saying the relationship was over.”
But – surprise! – it wasn’t. Come July, the two were cuddling in LA. The source says, “They are kids! Of course they fight. They can both be dramatic.”
In the end, “Justin is still crazy about her and knows how lucky he is to have her,” says the Bieber insider. “Everything is not always perfect, but for now they are happy.”
I really can’t decide what makes me feel ickier, the idea that Justin Bieber believes that “he should be tapping all the girls who come around,” or the fact that I laughed out loud after reading the bit where he was crying while getting his hair done. Stars, they’re just like us when we’re getting ready for the eighth grade prom!
But really, I hope these two kids work it out. I mean, I don’t really want Selena to get her wish of having Justin’s babies, but I kind of want Selena to get her wish of having Justin’s babies. The gossip, you guys. The gossip it would bring. The pictures, and the statements. The onesies that Justin would start selling that would say things like “swaggy baby” and “swag” and “swagger.” “Made by swagger.” “I’m two months old and I’m a swaggy infant.”. Oh, and the songs that Justin would write about the situation. It would be really glorious until Justin started ruining the baby’s life.
July 17, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily
This year’s list is pretty predictable, when you take into consideration the biggest things that’ve happened this year—the second-to-last ‘Twilight’ movie debuted, Adele won every award known to man, (kill me for saying this, but) “girl power” dominated the charts with Katy Perry, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, and Taylor Swift, and of course there’s Justin Bieber and Lil Wayne. And that’s the list, guys. The whole thing. All of it. Check it out:
#10—Robert Pattinson, $26.5 million
#9—Taylor Lautner, $26.5 million
#8—Lil Wayne, $27 million
#7—Kristen Stewart, $34.5 million
#6—Adele, $35 million
#5—Katy Perry, $45 million
JUMP IN FOR THE REST!
July 13, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Sarah
I know! It’s the heart, isn’t it? Justin Bieber‘s favorite lady body part is the heart! Since he’s such a hopeless romantic, that’s the obvious answer. Or it could be the brain! You can just tell that Justin is the intellectual type, so I’m sure he appreciates that same quality in the opposite sex. Or, wait, he did have that foot fetish …
Oh, but he’s just into asses? That’s cool too, I guess. Here’s Justin ever so eloquently explaining his admiration:
“I think I’m a butt guy. I just like butts. I’m attracted to them. Do I have any favourites? Nicki Minaj has got a nice one.”
Great to know, Justin. And just for the sake of comparison, here’s Selena Gomez‘s backside:
It’s cute, I guess, but that’s coming from a girl who doesn’t understand the appeal of butts at all. However, I can obviously tell that she’s no Nicki Minaj, and therefore possibly indicating that Justin is not so into her butt. BREAKUP RUMORS CONFIRMED.