Poor Justin Bieber! Scrawny White Usher wanted to celebrate his 19th birthday in style at London’s Cirque du Soir nightclub on Friday and was optimistic about the evening ahead of him. A circus themed party for someone over the age of 7? What’s not to love?
Gonna be fun tonight. Thanks to everyone for all the birthday wishes. 19!
— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) March 1, 2013
Yeah!! Party time!! Let’s go pop Cristal and have our friend Mike’s brother’s best friend’s cousin who was just released from prison give us homemade tattoos while clowns juggle bowling pins for hours!!!
However, all was not well – Justin left the club pretty quickly after he arrived when his guests clashed with security guards at the venue. I can only imagine what it was about. Bringing in their own Slurpees? Trying to pay for drinks with coins from their piggy banks?
— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) March 2, 2013
:’( HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? Justin is said to have gone straight back to his hotel after the incident. I must not know what a good birthday is, because that sounds like one to me. A comfy hotel room? Loads of money to order room service with? What more do you need?
Don’t worry, Justin. Drake feels your pain.
March 3, 2013 at 10:00 am by Jennifer
Justin Bieber has a fondness for hideous body art and won’t stop getting tattoos, which his mother, Pattie Mallette isn’t really into. But, like anything else, she doesn’t care all that much and thinks he’s just going to do what he wants to do anyway, so why bother saying anything about it.
From Entertainment Tonight:
“That’s one of those things that I don’t necessarily have to like,” said Mallette, acknowledging that, at 18, her son is legally an adult. “He’s going to make his own decisions.”
I suppose ugly tattoos are small potatoes on the list of things she “doesn’t have to like”, like being a total asshole, doing drugs, singing annoying songs… I could go on, but I’ll spare you. Obviously she’s right in the fact that he’s old enough to do what he wants and tattoos are one of those things that people will get regardless of their bad taste, so it’s whatever on this one. I just wonder why people continue to ask what Pattie Mallette thinks about anything relating to her kid, as she obviously doesn’t care, so long as the cash keeps rolling in.
March 2, 2013 at 12:00 pm by Jennifer
Justin Bieber looked really stupid today. But like, especially stupid. He wore an outfit something Kreayshawn would wear. Because some dude named Ryan dared him to.
Ryan said you won’t go out in that, I said watch me [...] Haha, too colorful. Next time I’m gonna wear a black hat
Effing poetry right there. The hat was apparently given to him by a fan, AKA, “A Belieber.” That’s kind of nice actually, I think it’s cool he did that. Although by wearing it and joking about it is he making fun of it?
It’s still not as bad as what Kim Kardashian wore a few days ago, and that was by her own choice.
If you’d like to see more angles of Mr. Bieber’s stupid outfit, you can check out this photo on his Instagram.
This begs the question though: who, then, dared him to wear this outfit for meeting the Prime Minister of Canada?
March 1, 2013 at 4:30 am by Catherine St. Ives
Justin Bieber, the Canadian version of my worst nightmare, is constantly doing things to annoy me and all other humans over the age of 12 (like wearing the gas mask above to go out shopping in London over the weekend. Like, what?), but there’s good news! NASA wants to send him to space… probably so far out that he never comes back. It all started on Twitter when Justin said he wants to perform in space. That’s idiotic, but NASA felt the need to respond to his request by offering their assistance in getting him off planet earth.
I wanna do a concert in space
— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) February 23, 2013
Maybe we can help you with that. ‘All Around the World,’ next off it? RT @justinbieber: I wanna do a concert in space
— NASA (@NASA) February 23, 2013
I mean, LOL, I guess? I don’t care where Justin goes, so long as it’s not in my face, on my TV, on the radio, on the internet or anywhere else. And some other people seem to be catching on to the feeling – he was turned away from a Manchester night club on Saturday, as well, for being an awful dancer. Seriously:
Yes the rumours are true…we turned Justin Bieber away last night. He shuffles on stage and we can’t be having that in Sankeys now can we!!
— sankeys (@sankeysclub) February 22, 2013
I’m feeling you, Sankeys. I’ll come through next time I’m in Manchester.
February 26, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer
You know how those two bros planned to kidnap, castrate and kill Justin Bieber last year before they got caught and went to jail? Remember how it was claimed that the suspects responsible for the plot – convicted killer Dana Martin and fellow inmate Mark Staake – wanted to sell his balls for $2,500 each? Turns out they uh, actually did.
From Digital Spy:
In phone calls obtained by KOAT 7 News in Albuquerque, Martin can be heard explaining to Ruane that Staake is “going to kill the pit bulls and you’re going to castrate them”, with “pit bulls” being the gang’s code word for Bieber, according to police.
The two then mention “hedge clippers” as their choice of instrument for the castration and agree on a price tag of “five large” for Bieber’s testicles.
A police report read: “When Mr Martin asked what Mr Staake had bought to castrate the victims, Mr Ruane stated that he had bought a pair of hand-held hedge clippers.
“In response to Mr Staake’s reluctance to follow through with the castrations, Mr Ruane stated he was going to do it and get ‘five large for each one I get’. Mr Martin confirmed that Mr Ruane was going to get $2,500 per testicle.
”Mr Martin suggested hiding them somewhere, such as the engine compartment, so as to avoid detection should they get pulled over.”
Ruane and Staake were arrested before they could carry out an attack on Bieber – believed to have been planned for after a show in New York’s Madison Square Garden – after Martin himself told police of the alleged plot.
Staake was arrested in Vermont due to outstanding warrants, while Ruane was later arrested in New York after police found murder equipment on his person
Martin, who has a tattoo of Bieber’s face on his leg, is currently serving two life sentences in Las Cruces prison, New Mexico for rape and murder.
First of all, I love that anyone cares enough about this little insufferable idiot to want to go through so much trouble and end up in prison. Second of all, Justin’s fans are barely old enough to have piggy banks, let alone $2,500 to pay for one of his baby balls. Third of all, I never would have used “pit bulls” as a code name for Bieber – more like “chihuahuas” or perhaps “teacup poodles”.
In all seriousness, there are some sick f-ckers in the world who think shit like this and it’s sort of terrifying. I mean, hedge clippers? I don’t even have boy parts and that’s giving me phantom pains.
February 20, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer
Ugh, isn’t it just the worst when you want to ignore someone’s entire existence, but they keep insisting on being a total smacked ass at every available opportunity, making that impossible? Enter Justin Bieber, who is quickly becoming Chris Brown‘s top competitor for Walking Bag of Shit of the Year.
Alright, here’s the scoop. Apparently the drummer for the Black Keys, Patrick Carney, made a comment a few days ago that basically in so many words said that Bieber isn’t really a musician’s musician, as it were, but hey, at least he’s rich! He wasn’t just picking on poor, defenseless Justin, though. Instead, he was responding to the teen’s incessant whining about being passed over for any Grammy nods this year. Ugh. I know, right?
Carney’s exact comment is as follows:
“He’s rich, right? Grammys are for, like, music, not for money … and he’s making a lot of money. He should be happy, I guess.”
I think what Carney said is partly stupid because he’s implying that only underrated bands who aren’t raking it in count as “musicians”, but I’m on his side because Justin Bieber is a whiny idiot and no one owes his pansy ass anything. Also, here’s a newsflash, Justin: you weren’t nominated because your album wasn’t any good.
Anyhow, His Royal Highness didn’t take too highly to the insult and lashed out at Carney via his Twitter page, claiming that a little violence would solve the situation. After all, who doesn’t beat up everyone who doesn’t like them?
the black keys drummer should be slapped around haha
— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) February 12, 2013
Can anyone shut him up? It’s a shame Pattie Mallette didn’t take her son’s advice and bend him over her knee and ‘slap him around’ a little when he was growing up. Maybe then he wouldn’t have turned into such a douchebag.