It’s the weekend, and what better way to spend a Saturday than to feature stories with crazy people? I leave you today with a little gem from your favorite bird-loving banned boxer, Mike Tyson, who – besides his fondness for his avian friends – also really loves… Justin Bieber?
“I just think he’s pretty awesome,” Tyson said, “And I think his cut with Big Sean ['As Long As You Love Me'] was pretty awesome too.”
Tyson then further emphasized this point by singing a few lines from a Bieber tune (though, to be honest, we’re not sure which Bieber tune) and said that his knowledge of music was nearly as impressive as his collection of title belts … a fact he owes mainly to his wife.
“If you saw my iPad, I have everything. My wife puts everything on my iPad. You know, ‘Justin? Let’s put him in there. Let’s put Rihanna in there. Let’s put Kendrick Lamar in there,’” he laughed. “My wife’s got everything on there, she’s got Shania Twain — I don’t know why she put that in there — and I can’t remember some of the other stuff. I hear Lloyd sometimes. But mostly I find out about stuff from my wife.”
And though he’s never gotten the chance to sit down and talk with Bieber, Tyson definitely had some career advice for the young crooner … especially in light of the recent controversy that arose over those “weed” photos.
“Justin’s not having any problems. He should just enjoy his life; nothing’s wrong, he’s not doing anything bad or anything,” Tyson said. “Weed is not necessarily a problem. He hasn’t gotten arrested or anything, or in a car wreck. He’s a really awesome kid, and he earned everything he has … He should just live life on life’s terms.”
If there’s anyone I wouldn’t take life advice from, it’s Mike Tyson. Just stick to your pigeons, man. Justin can stick to showing his butt in public or whatever he’s doing with his life since he hit puberty.
Now, I don’t normally run Justin Bieber stories myself, partially because I despise Justin Bieber, and partially because … oh, wait, right. It’s just that one thing: because I despise Justin Bieber. This, however, was interesting, because in the accompanying Billboard interview (which isn’t out in its entirety yet), Justin talks about how he’s in a really dark place in life right now, and some are speculating that it’s because of Selena Gomez and all that pot-smoking and butt-showing.
In the interview, which is set to release today, Justin says this:
“I’m not in the happiest place that I’ve ever been.”
And I’m, like, agog. Justin Bieber, not happy? I just can’t even imagine why. It can’t be because he beats on people and that makes them despise him, nor can it be because he just can’t stop with all the silly tattoos, because hey. They can be removed one day, I guess. Whatever, though. Judge not Bieber lest ye be hit by a car or something, right?
Happy Sunday, you guys! Did you have a good night last night? Did you get into anything wild and crazy? Me, I just went out to buy hair dye and milk and then I watched Just Like Heaven, that romantic comedy with Reese Witherspoon where she’s in this coma and her spirit has to get Mark Ruffalo to save her with the power of love. But I bet you guys went wild.
Oh, this post? Yeah, this is just Justin Bieber showing off his ass. He put it on Instagram. I don’t know why, but there it is. I know it’s not the whole thing, but it’s still something special. It’s something special to me.
But hey, how long do you think it will be till Justin does a dick pic, Chris Brown style? Probably not long, right?
So Justin Bieber has this thing about wearing saggy britches. And not just regular saggy britches, no. Saggy britches like this:
I know, aren’t those the most awful pants you’ve ever seen? That’s part of why he’s the worst.
The other part of why he’s the worst is because of that picture up at the very top, the one where he’s in the skintight jeans. He posted that picture on Instagram and said “To those of u who tell me not to sag my pants. Double think that.” What a little bitch.
But really, all that tight pants picture does is make me think about how hilarious it would be if Justin Bieber starred in a remake of Grease. Blasphemous, yes, but hilarious nonetheless. And then Taylor Swift would play Sandy, and Miley Cyrus would play Rizzo. I bet Miley could do a mean “There Are Worse Things I Could Do.”
So you know, maybe Justin Bieber isn’t the worst. Maybe Justin Bieber is just a visionary.
Namely, his bodyguard, who he allegedly “punched repeatedly” in the chest, and it’s also the very same bodyguard to whom is allegedly owed somewhere in the neighborhood of $400k in unpaid overtime. Isn’t Justin just the best, guys? And by “best,” I mean “worst punk-ass little shit to ever scar the world to the core”?
There aren’t even enough words to talk about this video in the manner in which it deserves, so I’m just going to leave it right here for you and allow James Franco and Ashley Benson (his GIRLFRIEND, in case you didn’t know!) entertain the crap out of you. Have at it!
No wonder Justin Bieber has been acting out: Days before the pop star, 18, was caught smoking pot in shocking TMZ photos, he and girlfriend Selena Gomez have parted ways yet again — this time for good, multiple sources tell the new Us Weekly, out now.
Although Bieber and the singer-actress, 20, journeyed to Puerta Vallarta, Mexico for a New Year’s trip, their happy holiday was cut short when Gomez abruptly flew home to Los Angeles on Dec. 30. “They had another huge fight, and Selena won’t forgive him,” an insider tells Us Weekly of the perpetually on-again, off-again pair.
It certainly seems final this time — with Gomez spending New Year’s Eve at an L.A. house party with pals, while Bieber rang in 2013 with rapper pal Lil Twist at L.A. club Couture, where he flirted with various girls. “He’s been really down about the breakup,” a source admits.
Citing Bieber’s “bad influence,” another pal insists: “Selena is done with him.” For more details on the breakup, pick up the new issue of Us Weekly, on stands Friday.
Can I tell you how glad I am to hear this? Not that I’m really partial to either Justin Bieber or Selena Gomez, but this young kid is going to have a long road ahead of him, and I have a feeling he’s going to be the male Lindsay Lohan, because really, why not? We haven’t had a crazy young dude wrecking the whole shit since … well, I don’t even know when. Selena Gomez, however, just doesn’t really strike me to be into that kind of stuff. Selena Gomez just doesn’t seem to be a big, stupid drama queen, nor does she seem like she’s into going through the motions of playing mother to a faux-bad boy gone … well, faux-bad.
My opinion? Maybe Justin Bieber can start dating Lindsay Lohan. Wouldn’t that just be so, so super?