Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber and Chris Brown Are Totez Best Buds

justin bieber chris brown

These two assholes – Justin Bieber and Chris Brown, that is – have a history of “friendship“, and they’re not letting up anytime soon. This time, they met up at a skate park (LOL), where they spray painted a half-pipe together and Justin described his buddy as “super dope”. Oh Christ.

I don’t really have much to say about this, other than “yuck”. Of course, Chris and Justin deserve each other – they’re both disgusting human beings and absolute twats. Makes sense that they’d find a lot in common.

I also love the fake “sk8r boi” persona the two of them are trying to have. I guarantee you that neither of them can say on a board for more than 10 seconds.

Some Dude Attacked Justin Bieber At A Nightclub

justin bieber attack

Justin Bieber is not the most beloved celeb in the world right now and I guess someone decided he’s had enough of that darn kid. Mr. Beeby Beebs was randomly attacked at a nightclub in Canada. Because it was in Canada, I’m guessing his attacker opened with, “I’m so sorry, but I’m gonna have to attack ya now, eh?” This is based on repeated viewings of How I Met Your Mother, which I can only assume is based on real life. Bieber defended himself by kicking the dude until his bodyguards rushed in, which was of course very, very quickly. TMZ got photos (above) and below:

justin bieber attack

They really know how to get the best Bieber pics. And here’s some more info from our TMZ comrades:

It all went down at 3 am today at a Toronto nightclub. Sources on scene tell us JB left his safe VIP section to mingle with the regular folk — and that’s when a male clubgoer charged at him, got hold of his shirt (which he was wearing) and attempted to take him down, but failed.

‘Cause he was like, “Baby, baby, baby, no.”

Dear God Make It Stop: Here’s Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber’s Track, ‘Twerk’

justin bieber miley cyrus

Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber are probably the two most insufferable personalities in showbiz in general today – yes, they even beat out Lady GaGa for this title. If they weren’t bad enough on their own, they’ve now done something truly diabolical by joining up for a duet… on a song called ‘Twerk’. Kill me now, please.

‘Twerk’ – which features the friend Justin Bieber usually lets drive his sports cars around Hollywood, Lil Twist – leaked online yesterday to the horror of all with working ears. The track will apparently appear on Lil Twist’s album (he’s making an album!) – hilariously, it’s called Bad Decisions. Uh, ya think? I can’t even start with these two idiots.

Speaking of Justin Bieber… He’s Ready to Settle Down and Have Kids

justin bieber

Isn’t it a wonderful day when we feature two Justin Bieber stories in a row? (I promise it’ll never happen again.) This one’s pretty rich, though. Young Thug Jr. wants everyone to know that he’s not some bad ass playboy running wild. In fact, he knows how to treat a woman and would like to stick it in one without protection one day soon so he can make mini versions of himself and “settle down”. Joy!

Here’s what he told In Touch Weekly:

“I can’t wait to have a beautiful wife and little kids running around, but those things are in God’s hands, not mine.

“I’m not going to lie. It’s fun to be young, fall in love and be in love. My mom taught me how to treat a woman right, so I enjoy taking a girl out and doing nice things for her.

“Everyone deserves to feel like they are the most special person in the world.”

Justin also expressed his frustration at being called out as the little asshole he is, adding:

“Sometimes I think people get distracted… and forget that I’m here to create music. I put everything I have into my music, and I wish people would focus more on that.”

Maybe if you didn’t make such a spectacle of yourself in public 24/7, we wouldn’t be distracted from the fucking music, which isn’t even that good, anyway. Lord. Anyway, step right up, ladies… Justin’s ready to give you his seed. Gag.

Is Justin Bieber’s Manager Scooter Braun Headed to ‘American Idol’?

scooter braun justin bieber

God, I hope not. Scooter Braun looks like a dillweed of the highest degree, though I suppose you have to give him his due on exploiting a pre-teen to make millions and millions of bucks off him. Nothing like a grown man named Scooter, am I right? He’s also working with Carly Rae Jepsen and The Wanted now, so I guess he’s expanding his clientele and that makes him worthy of being a judge on American Idol… at least according to Jennifer Lopez (?????).

From US Weekly:

The insider tells Us that the 32-year-old talent manager has met with producers and returning judge Jennifer Lopez to discuss his possible role on the show. “Jennifer loves Scooter and feels he’d be an excellent choice,” the source says. “She would love him to be a judge.” (Sources confirmed to Us on Aug. 17 that the 44-year-old singer will be returning to the show after serving as a judge in 2011 and 2012. She will join Keith Urban, who has already signed on for a second consecutive year on Idol; Mariah Carey, Nicki Minaj and longtime judge Randy Jackson announced their departures earlier this year.)

The only possible problem? The insider tells Us that Braun would want to manage the American Idol winner, but creator Simon Fuller already has the job.

Well… that’s nice, I guess? Dr. Luke is also in the running to head to the panel, apparently, and while he would be AMAZING, I surely hope he has enough common sense not to board the Titanic, if you feel me.

Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez Aren’t Fighting Over Justin Bieber

taylor swift selena gomez

Well, they’re not fighting over him or about him. You know what I mean. We all know how Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift are totally BFFs who are more like sisters than anything else and OMG they’re just so close that nothing could tear them apart. However, something reportedly did tear them apart, and that parasite was Justin Bieber. Particularly, Selena’s continuing association with him because he’s a total asshole and everyone can see it but her.

You can rest your weary hearts, however, because they’re just fine. In fact, this story was such a big deal that Taylor’s spokesperson actually gave the following statement on it:

Selena and Taylor are great friends who talk almost daily.

Well, that clears that one up. I think it’s stupid for friends to fall out because one doesn’t like the person the other one is dating, though I think this is a tough one because Justin is totally the worst. Still, if you hate him so much, just tell Selena you don’t really want to talk about him because he’s a doucher and then live your best life.

Anyway, I don’t think this is an issue now anyway since he’s got a new model girlfriend, right?

Justin Bieber Might Have a New Girlfriend

justin bieber ashley moore

… Or at least a new fuck buddy. That’s right, Justin is romancing “model” Ashley Moore and was seen scooping her up in his fancy Ferrari to take her out to eat. Incidentally, he also stopped during the trip to give change to a homeless person, apparently. Change. Because, you know, Justin Bieber can’t spare any bills.

From E! News:

The young pop singer was spotted picking up model Ashley Moore in his new Ferrari to dine at French restaurant Bouchon in Beverly Hills earlier today, before stopping to give a homeless woman some change on the street.

How sweet.
The 20-year-old beauty is a fresh face in the modeling world, having only professionally modeled for six months.

According to an interview, the North Carolina native enjoys “surfing and I love the beach. I go to the beach a lot, or I like to write. I’ll go to the UCLA gym from time to time to just play [basketball] but modeling keeps me pretty busy.”

Moore reportedly met Biebs through his buddy Lil Twist in the beginning of the year, and even spent the Fourth of July with the singer. However, Bieber’s ex, Selena Gomez, was also said to be at the same Fourth of July party, according to an Instagram video posted by Bieber BFF Alfredo Flores.

Well, that’s… nice, I guess. I wonder if he found her via flashlight?  Let’s just hope he doesn’t try to do a naked serenade for her.