Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber cooks dinner for Selena Gomez

justin bieber selena gomez

Justin Bieber may be beginning to look like a bit of a meth addict, but Selena Gomez just can’t hop off his dick for longer than five minutes, so they’re officially back together and happier (?) than ever. To show what a great boyfriend he is, Justin decided to cook Selena some lunch and post a video of his skills on Instagram, as you do.

Here’s what I want to know: Why is Justin Bieber allowed to handle a knife? I feel like he needs those blunt scissors you give kindergartners that don’t actually cut anything besides construction paper.

Countdown to these two breaking up again. What do you give it, a week? Two? I sure do wish Selena would start loving herself – or at the very least respecting herself.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Justin Bieber stripped at Fashion Rocks and it was awkward

justin bieber

I’m not sure what the bigger angle of this story actually is: the fact that Justin Bieber stripped on stage at Fashion Rocks or the fact that he apparently can’t read very well. Both things are true, both things are awkward, both things make me want to claw my eyes and ears out even more than usual.

The best part of this whole thing is the guy taking the video. Otherwise, this is my reaction (thanks, ONTD!)

britney

I guess at least the ‘roids are working?

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Justin Bieber hurt his wittle wrist

justin bieber wrist

Justin Bieber is a fucking terror behind the wheel of a car (or ATV) and has been causing accidents left and right. Hell, he was even arrested for wreckless driving and assault last Friday, and it seems JB himself has been hurt as a result of his own behaviour since he was treated yesterday for a broken wrist in Canada.

From TMZ:

We’re told Bieber went to the Stratford General Hospital in Ontario to have his wrist checked out. According to our sources, it turns out he suffered a sprain.

It’s unclear if Bieber injured his wrist in the ATV accident … or if he hurt it trying to reach something on a really high shelf. Ya know, cause he’s tiny.

It’ll take this kid getting paralyzed or doing it to someone else (or worse, killing them) for him to get it through his thick skull that driving a car is not a joke. I’m certainly not wishing anything horrible on him, but Bieber seems like one of those actual idiots who would only get his head out of his own ass if there was some kind of extreme tragedy.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Justin Bieber arrested, charged with assault and dangerous driving

justin bieber

Justin Bieber is an asshole of epic proportions, so it’s no surprise that he’s continuing to rack up criminal charges with the best of them. You see, JB was arrested in Stratford, Ontario, Canada on Friday and charged with dangerous driving and assault after he got into an altercation with the driver of an ATV (who was, for the record, not a paparazzo).

From CTV News:

OPP say they were called to Line 40 east of Road 106 – east of the singer’s hometown of Stratford and northeast of Shakespeare – shortly before 3 p.m. Friday in response to a crash between a minivan and an ATV.

A physical altercation occurred between the driver of the ATV and a person in the minivan following the crash, police said.

Bieber, 20, faces charges of dangerous driving and dangerous driving and assault.

Police say he was released from custody on a promise to appear in court.

His next court date is set for Sept. 29.

Fuuuuuck this kid. Can we not just put him in jail and throw away the key already? I know that won’t happen, but at the very least, he should not be allowed to operate a vehicle. AT ALL.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Justin Bieber compares himself to Princess Diana

justin bieber

I need Justin Bieber to just stop, immediately. Like, stop everything about himself. Get on that one-way flight to Mars that’s heading out next year – I’m sure they can find you a seat.

Ahem, I digress. JB got into a mini car accident with a paparazzi who was following him in LA. This isn’t a situation where a high speed chase was involved, but rather one where Bieber noticed the photographer driving behind him and decided to slam on his breaks suddenly and purposely so that the photographer crashed into him. Yes, seriously.

Now, of course, he thinks he’s like Princess Diana and wonders why we didn’t learn from what happened to her, because the two situations are so entirely the same (and he’s so much like her):


Okay, I don’t even know where to start here.

1. Only a dickhead slams on his breaks to purposely cause an accident (which could have injured/killed not just the paparazzi – who, regardless of his profession, doesn’t deserve to DIE – or anyone else on the road) just to then complain about how HE was in danger.

2. JUSTIN BIEBER IS NOTHING LIKE PRINCESS DIANA.

I’ll stop there and leave you with my usual: fuck this kid.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Justin Bieber is a very serious musician

justin bieber

When Justin Bieber isn’t pretending he’s a thug, assaulting people, doing drugs or trying to score girls, he’s a very serious musician with a very serious love of music. That’s why he filmed himself getting up in the morning, grabbing his guitar and singing ‘Talkin’ About a Revolution’ – something he knows so much about, of course. If there’s one thing Justin Bieber knows, it’s the struggle.

He even did a little Johnny Cash for us:

God, I can’t stand this kid.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Justin Bieber sued by a paparazzo over bodyguard attack

justin bieber scooter braun

Ugh, another day, another instance of Justin Bieber being an entitled dickhead. Let’s keep this short and sweet: Justin apparently ordered his bodyguard to “personally destroy” the camera of paparazzo Aja Oxman and Aja says that’s not right and wants money for his troubles.

From TMZ:

Aja Oxman claims Bieber was behind a brutal attack against him in which he was lifted in a choke hold and slammed onto a the hood of a car.  According to the lawsuit — obtained by TMZ — Justin “enjoyed the beating.”

Bieber was in Kauai last November at Shipwreck Beach and decided to cliff jump.  Oxman says he took a photo on a public beach and Bieber sicked his bodyguard on him … ordering, “Go get his memory card and do whatever you have to do to get that card.”

Oxman says that’s when the bodyguard opened a can of whoopass, took his camera and memory card. The bodyguard, Dwayne Patterson, was booked for 3rd degree assault and 4th degree criminal property damage.

The suit — filed by attorney Sark Ohanian — claims Bieber and his hired muscle destroyed the camera together.

Okay, look: celebrities must get tired of being followed by photographers all the time. HOWEVER, you’re famous. That’s what you signed up for, asshole. Also, it’s not like this dude was up on the cliff hiding in the bushes, he took a photo from a PUBLIC beach, just like you or I could do (and many passers by often DO do). Even if this Oxman was being intrusive, guess what? You don’t have an excuse to order your strongmen – you know, people who have actual strength, not your thirsty ass attempt at muscles – to cause bodily harm to someone else. If he thinks that’s okay, then it should be okay for me to walk up and punch him in the neck for being so annoying. Oh, right, I forgot Orlando Bloom already tried that. Shame he missed.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook