1Jon Bon Jovi’s Got Something to Say To Justin Bieber

Jon Bon Jovi‘s been touring for about eight gazillion years and he’s still raking in the money, so I think he knows a thing or two about hitting the road and keeping fans happy. That’s why, instead of speaking up urging Justin Bieber to stop being an asshole and a waste of space, he’s instead warning Baby Elvis against showing up late for his shows, because people don’t like waiting. Well, okay.

From The London Evening Standard:

The 51-year-old rock singer, who has a reputation as one of the hardest-working men in music, claimed the teenage star risks alienating his fans if he continues to disappoint.

Bieber later blamed “technical issues” and claimed he was only 40 minutes late for the show in March.

Jon, speaking to the Standard in Vienna on the latest leg of the band’s Because We Can world tour, said: “Every generation has guys that do that, none of that is new.

“They run the risk of disrespecting their audience members who have worked hard to pay for their ticket, to give you the permission to take two or three hours of their lives — or in that kid’s case, 80 minutes of their lives.

“Do it once, you can be forgiven. Do it enough times and shame on you. They won’t have you back. Then it just becomes a cliché. It’s really not cool — you’re an asshole. Go to f***in’ work!”

Well, I guess he did mention him being an asshole, after all. And while this is a definite symptom of asshole-ism, it’s certainly not the only one. That being said, one of my Top 5 pet peeves is sitting around waiting for people who can’t be bothered to show up to shit on time. I managed to get here, why couldn’t you? Take that tardy for the party bullshit elsewhere, ‘cos I’m not having it. I was raised to be five minutes early to shit – the world doesn’t wait for you, you know?

May 21, 2013 at 9:30 am by Jennifer

6Justin Bieber’s a Monkey Killer

Justin Bieber is a little shit who thinks it’s cool to spit in people’s faces, walk around shirtless and oh, try to smuggle his pet monkey into a foreign country and then leave it there when he’s caught by customs. That last bit happened earlier this year and Germany authorities gave Bieber until midnight last night (Friday) to get the correct paperwork over to them or else Mally the monkey was going to be put down. I’ll give you one guess as to whether or not he actually did that. If you chose “nope”, ding ding ding! We have a winner. Of course, it won’t be completely confirmed whether or not it happened until Tuesday, but the poor animal’s been there since the end of March. He’s not suddenly going to take interest at the eleventh hour. Asshole.

From Sky News:

The singer’s 17-week-old capuchin, called Mally, was seized by customs staff at Munich’s Franz Josef Strauss Airport after he failed to produce the correct papers for the animal. The Canadian star was detained “for some time” while customs officials took Mally into quarantine at the airport. Mally was sent to a Munich Animal Protection League (MAPL) animal shelter, where he has remained unclaimed since March 28.

Customs officials said that if Bieber did not produce the papers by midnight on May 17 then Mally would become the property of Germany. The deadline fell after offices closed for a three-day holiday weekend in Germany, and it won’t be clear before Tuesday whether the documents arrived.

Officials will also be billing the pop star for the monkey’s care, vet visits and food – an invoice that will run to several thousand pounds.

MAPL said that they had received two emails claiming to be from Bieber’s management company. In the messages, they were asked how long they had to produce the paperwork before the monkey would be put down, and secondly whether it could be given to a zoo. Custom officials say they have yet to receive any formal request for that from Bieber or any of his representatives.

Speaking last month, customs spokesman Thomas Meister, said: “If by May 17 there is nothing, then he loses ownership of the animal and it becomes the property of the Federal Republic of Germany.

“If Bieber really does want to place the animal in a zoo, he is welcome to contact customs authorities and forfeit Mally at any time, but will likely have to pay costs associated with keeping the monkey so far and a fine.”

Bieber flew his pet, understood to have been a 19th birthday president from music producer Jamal Rashid on March 1, to Munich on the Cessna Citation X he rents for £13,000-a-time.

I would like to think that the monkey will go to a zoo and live a happy life jumping between trees, eating bananas and having posable thumbs, but for some reason, I don’t think that’s going to happen. :(

May 18, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Jennifer

1Well, Thank God Carly Rae Jepsen Is Here To Defend Justin Bieber

Carly Rae Jepsen and Justin Bieber are both Canadian, so I guess that means they have an unbreakable bond. Plus, Justin took Carly on tour and now they’re BFFs or something. Either way, Carly has felt the need to speak out in support of Baby Elvis and defend his good name from those who have called him out for the asshole he is.

From E! News:

“All I see is an incredibly hard worker and a man who’s just passionate about what he does,” she told E! News in response to the Bieb’s bad press. “Just putting it on himself to take on a lot all at once,” she added, hinting that Justin’s life in the spotlight would be tough for any 19-year-old to handle.

Still, the “Tonight I’m Getting Over You” singer has nothing but respect for the chart-topping star, and she hopes to emulate his incredibly hard work ethic.

“I think if anything I’m inspired by how hard he works, and I definitely want to add that to my own mantra as just like working really hard and doing my thing.”

Oh, shut up, Carly Rae Jepsen. Your 15 minutes is over, anyway, and ‘Call Me Maybe’ makes me want to kill myself now, so just fade back into obscurity and resurface in 2023 when VH1 wants to do some retrospective on hits of the 2010′s.

May 17, 2013 at 11:30 am by Jennifer

0Justin Bieber’s Concert Revenue Stolen By Thieves In South Africa

Listen, I don’t advocate theft at all, but we are talking about douchebag extraordinaire Justin Bieber here, so I think I can make an exception. Here’s what went down: thieves in Johannesburg, South Africa spent days chiseling through the walls of the Soccer City Stadium, where Baby Elvis had performed several shows, and then lowered themselves down into the building and made away with about one million rand – or $108,800 – of profits generated from Bieber’s concerts.

From BBC Newsbeat:

The gang, armed with ropes, hammers and chisels, broke into a strongroom, according to local media and police.

Officials at the stadium, which hosted the 2010 World Cup final, only realised the cash was missing on Monday morning.

The haul included takings from the Justin Bieber concert and a gig the previous evening by rockers Bon Jovi.

“The money was taken from the building and they only realised today,” said a police officer from Booysens police station in Soweto.

“We don’t know how many people were involved as we are still gathering evidence.”

It’s thought the thieves may have taken several days to chisel their way through a thick wall at the FNB stadium outside Johannesburg.

They then lowered themselves by rope into a room used to store cash and escaped undetected.

South African police spokeswoman Katlego Mogale said: “The suspect had gained entry through the roof.

“They broke the tile of the bathroom between last night (Sunday) after the concert and this morning.”

The suspects haven’t been caught yet and probably won’t ever be, but police are investigating further, so never say never…

May 14, 2013 at 9:30 am by Jennifer

3Amanda Bynes Loves Justin Bieber’s Sense Of Style

Amanda Bynes is serious about designing a clothing line, and In Touch was serious enough to interview her about it. It’s going to be very chic and elegant as she is inspired by Justin Bieber‘s sense of style and fashion choices. Just picture it: a whole line of saggy pants, caps meant to be worn backwards, the worst of the 1980′s, creepy knock-off “Channel” ski masks, and of course, absolutely no shirts (of which Miss Amanda is also not a fan of). And this:

Yes, how could one not be positively inspired by this master of fashion?

Oh and she’s also inspired by the Olsen twins, which is such a f-cking copout answer. Here’s more stupid crap she told In Touch about her “upcoming” line.

I love Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s clothing line, Elizabeth and James, and I love how Justin Bieber dresses. My line will be a mixture of sick styles, and it’s going to be for everybody. … I’ll design clothes because I want to, not because I need the money.

Ms. Bynes recently broke the 1 million mark on Twitter. In celebration of this momentous event, here’s some fun Amanda Bynes trivia.

– Amanda Bynes is 27.
– Amanda Bynes eats tacos.
– Amanda Bynes once had her own clothing line called Dear, with Steve & Barry’s, until Steve & Barry’s went bankrupt.
– Amanda Bynes was on the February cover of Maxim magazine in 2010.
– Amanda Bynes is Jewish.

Obligatory:

May 7, 2013 at 4:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives

2E! Online’s Twitter Got Hacked This Weekend, Beliebers Take the Bait

There’s little that brings me more joy in this world than Justin Bieber fans – Beliebers, as we all unfortunately know them as – get punked. They’re by far the most obnoxious group of fans with internet access, save for maybe the Little Monsters. Nah, Beliebers are still worse. Anyhow, life got a lot more fun on Saturday when E! Online’s Twitter account started posting some shocking news updates including the one above, and this one:

Hahahaha! Isn’t that great? As soon as I saw it, I realised the account was hacked, but E! Online didn’t for nearly two full hours, and plenty of the account’s followers thought the tweets were legit, as well, and expressed their shock/outrage/joy/suicide plans in response. Of course, all was revealed shortly after when a group of Syrian hackers took credit for the prank:

Was this a corny prank? Well, sort of. Was it still awesome cos so many Justin Bieber fans thought it was real? YUP. I don’t know what would have set them off more – his reunion with Selena Gomez or a newfound union with another bro. Maybe a member of One Direction?

May 6, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer