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JR Martinez

SPOILERVILLE: ‘Dancing with the Stars’ Has a Winner!

Photo: Let me just ruin it for you: J.R. Martinez won DWTS

I hope I’m not ruining your Thanksgiving plans—which were, of course, to sit down with a six-pack of beer, cue up the DVR, and watch the season finale of Dancing with the Stars, all while weeping softly—by telling you what happened on the show last night.

Oh, well, here goes: motivational speaker and All My Children star J.R. Martinez is officially the Season 13 winner. (Thirteen seasons! How, even? I’m not sure I understand how TV works anymore.)

Martinez and his partner, Karina Smirnoff, barely defeated Rob Kardashian in the gripping reality-dancing competition. The other finalist, Ricki Lake, was edged out of the contest earlier in the evening.

Martinez’ victory is inspirational—the 28-year old is a veteran and survivor of the War in Iraq—and it was certainly deserved, too, as anyone who witnessed his moves can attest.

But according to Page Six, Rob Kardashian and partner Cheryl Burke actually finished the competition ahead of J.R. Martinez (albeit by one measly point), while Martinez outpaced Kardashian in terms of viewers’ votes. And because Dancing with the Stars is as much a popularity contest as it is a challenge of skill, there’s some speculation that Kardashian lost on account of the family name. In fact, Rob’s chances at winning were probably seriously injured the night the Kardashian girls sat in the audience.

Not to diminish J.R.’s victory or anything, but yeah. Yeesh.

(Image via Digital Spy.)

The New Dancing With the Stars Cast Has Been Leaked. Yay?

photo of dancing with the stars 2011 pictures cast photos

I don’t know, guys. I was never really into Dancing With the Stars, and I was even more aghast when they asked Kate Gosselin to star on it for a season, so I’m sort of torn as to how I continuously feel about the show. I know it’s not going away anytime soon, and I’ve made my peace with that, but it seems like the execs over there at ABC are trying really, really hard to lure in the under-fifty crowd by including people like Bristol Palin, Kendra Wilkinson, and the majority of the new season’s cast. Who, you’re wondering? Try these names out for size:

Nancy Grace. Just when you thought her career wouldn’t extend past the Casey Anthony trial.

photo of nancy grace dancing with the stars cast pictures photos

Kristin Cavallari. Because she’s just been dumped by someone who wasn’t even good enough to be considered for the sportsman position on DWTS, I guess.

photo of kristin cavalarri pictures dancing with the stars pics

Ricki Lake. Why not? It’s not like she’s done anything recently except play poker or something.

photo of ricki lake pictures dancing with the stars photos pics

Chynna Phillips. Sure hope this one doesn’t lose the weight that most contestants do. SHE CAN’T AFFORD IT.

photo of chynna phillips dancing with the stars pictures photos

Hope Solo. This one’s going to be fun to watch. I saw an interview after all of the women’s soccer hubbub earlier this summer where she was asked about the possibility of joining the cast, and Hope claimed that, even though she’s mad athletic and coordinated on the field, she can’t dance for crap. I like this girl, so good times.

photo of soccer star hope solo on dancing with the stars pictures photos

Jump in for the rest of *the list:

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