OK. Brad Pitt may just have reaffirmed his “hottest man alive” status in my book. Or near there, anyway. Have you seen these promo shots? They are unbelievable. The pictures are gearing up for Brad and Jonah Hill‘s latest film, Moneyball, and even Jonah’s looking … well, good. I mean, he’s lost so much weight recently that my head’s spinning and I’m kind of concerned that I’m finding him mildly attractive and not-at-all repulsive these days, but damn, Brad Pitt. Damn. DAMN!

From IMDB:

[Moneyball is] … the story of Oakland A’s general manager Billy Beane’s successful attempt to put together a baseball club on a budget by employing computer-generated analysis to draft his players.

So, OK. The movie doesn’t sound great. In fact, even just keywords in the plot make me want to definitely not see this movie (baseball club … draft his players … nah). But I will look at as many photos of Jonah and Brad as I possibly can. And then I will move on.

Are y’all psyched for the apocalypse or what?!  Heads are gonna motherfuckin’ roll, you guys.  I’m so pumped.  Last night, I had the perfect excuse to do my favorite things (make out and watch Zach Galifianakis movies, natch), and today I’m going to be completely worthless and offensive and terrible all day, and if anybody calls me out on it – suck it, I’m about to go to hell, I’ll do as I damn well please.

Sad facts though: the Rapture is supposed to start on May 21st at 6:00 PM, and some people say that it’s 6:00 PM in your specific timezone, so I guess Armageddon will just roll its way across the globe at a leisurely pace.  The thing is, it’s already been 6:00 PM on May 21st somewhere in the world, and so far everybody seems cool.  That particular theory could be wrong though, so I’m going to go ahead and wait for 6:00, east coast time, and give Jesus a good hour or so to show up, then I’m going to go to the drive-in or something.

Anyway, I know there are some people that want to hear their favorite celebrities’ outlook on the End Times, so I won’t deprive you of that any longer:

See, Pete Wentz, Zooey Deschanel, Roseanne, and Jonah Hill are all very solid people with really reliable opinions, so if you’re running around losing your damn mind over the end of the world, just follow one of these people’s advice and you should be just fine.

Russell Brand and Jonah Hill on the set of  Get Him to the Greek in NYC.

Sunday’s Monsters vs Aliens premiere was a veritable who’s who of people you’re not supposed to be attracted to, but probably are.
There were a few who walked the red (or rather, blue) carpet that would be considered mainstream-acceptably hot (Kiefer Sutherland, Paul Rudd, Reese Witherspoon). But there were just as many celebrities about whom many of you have probably had the occasional raunchy dream, but were too embarrassed to tell anyone. I can tell you from my own dreams that Seth Rogen is very gentle and Hugh Laurie’s beard tickles. Rainn Wilson and Jack Black are on a few of your lists, I’m sure. Hell, maybe some of you are even attracted to that big, blue, animated blob.

Personally,  I love Reese’s dress. But I can also see how some people would think it looks like scraps of Christmas wrapping paper sewn together.

Unlikely leading man Jonah Hill proclaims his love for “Nancy” with a new tattoo — probably fake, right? — while running errands in WeHo.

Who’s this Nancy character?? Inquiring minds want to know!