Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Jonah Hill

Angelina Jolie Won’t Have Jonah Hill, Quentin Tarentino At Her Wedding To Brad Pitt

brad pitt angelina jolie

This is probably my favourite story of the day because it’s hilarious and insane. Apparently Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are at odds over a few potential wedding guests, namely… Jonah Hill and Quentin Tarantino? Brad wants them there, Angelina says no way in hell – what will happen? Oh wait, I forgot to add that Philip Seymour Hoffman isn’t welcome, either. Now THAT one is cold as ice. I can see Jonah because he’s an asshole and Quentin is a bit insane, but why not Philip? He’s getting clean! Angelina, noooooo!

From The Sun:

The actor’s missus has banned him from inviting some of his heavier-drinking pals to the bash.

Angelina has given strict instructions for JONAH HILL, QUENTIN TARANTINO and PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN to be left off the list of invitations in case they get too leathered.

She has also warned that his best friend GEORGE CLOONEY needs to control his wine intake at the nuptials.

A source said: “Angelina wants the whole affair to be very civilised and is concerned about the habits of some of Brad’s more raucous friends.

“She thinks that if Jonah and Quentin come, they’ll hit the bar early on and cause a commotion.”

Brad’s pals aren’t the only problem being ironed out before their big day – the couple are also disagreeing over who should be best man.

Angelina is keen for her brother James to have the gig, while Brad thinks his brother Doug should take on the role.

Either way, they should definitely hold back on any Dutch courage before the wedding starts.

First of all, no one tells the Silver Fox to control his wine intake. Second of all, this story is so great because it’s so regular. I love the idea of Angelina giving Brad a hard time about the wedding guests. Ugh, God help me, I’m totally starting to love Brangelina. :(

Watch This: ‘This is the End’

OK, so I’m not going to lie: I watched at least half of this trailer trying to decide whether or not I this movie was complete and utter bullshit, or if this movie actually had some hidden genius somewhere. Want to know how it all ends? I’ll give you a hint: it’s the first thing. The “complete and utter bullshit” option, and while it’s chock-full of big name celebrities like Jonah Hill, Emma Watson, James Franco, and Seth Rogen, among others, it’s *also* an self-indulgent piece of dreck that isn’t worth the three minutes and eleven seconds of its red band trailer. Also in the film is Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Michael Cera, Mindy Kaling, and Rihanna.

Hey, also, is Jay Baruchel the worst actor that ever lived or what? For real—I’m pretty sure his best work happened in ‘Are You Afraid of the Dark’.

Thoughts on ‘This is the End’? Am I being too hard on this wee wittow movie?

On another note, something that’s not at all dumb—well, OK, sort of dumb, but not dumb in the way that ‘This is the End’ is dumb—’Warm Bodies’. Hear of it? Here’s the trailer:

And here’s the first four minutes if you’re still interested:

Jonah Hill Took Photos of Some Lady’s Placenta


From TMZ:

So there we were … walking around NYC today when we saw a woman giving birth in the middle of a park. And get this, Jonah Hill was there too … taking pictures.

The whole situation was pretty crazy … our photog stumbled upon the scene by pure happenstance … where emergency workers had just loaded the woman into an ambulance.

But after the dust settled … we randomly noticed Jonah snapping a cell phone pic of the birthy aftermath near the bench where the woman was sitting when she went into labor.

We tried to ask Hill about the situation … but he seemed a little too embarrassed to talk and beat a hasty exit with his pretty lady friend.

No, but seriously, that’s bizarre. And gross. What, was he going to put it on his Facebook with some kind of status like, “Ugh, common women are so f-cking nasty.” Is this the kind of thing that celebrities look down on us meager folks for? Because I can’t imagine him photographing or videoing this moment for any other reason than that. I’m sure that’s what it is. Jonah Hill thinks we’re all pedestrian.

New BFF Alert: Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum

A photo of Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum

I don’t know what it is, but Jonah Hill sure has a knack for becoming the best of friends with the dudes he works with. First there was the epic tale of his undeniable romance with Brad Pitt after they worked on Moneyball together, and now there’s the brand new, exciting bromance between Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum, who did the 21 Jump Street movie together.

Seriously, it’s very exciting. It involves nudity even:

While appearing on Jimmy Kimmel Live Thursday, Channing Tatum confessed that while filming in Miami, he and his 21 Jump Street costar ditched their cop threads and went for a little dip in the ocean—in their birthday suits.

“We decided to jump in the ocean—naked. It was nighttime, thank God,” Tatum shared.

And the night continued to get even more interesting…

“There’s Jerry’s Deli right on the corner and [Jonah] decides he wants to go in and all he’s got is his T-shirt and his underwear on and he’s like, ‘I’m going in to get something to eat!’ and I’m like, ‘No!’ So I stopped him and [took] him back to the car,” he added. “Now he’s nicknamed ‘Baby Jonah’ because I had to dress him like a mom. I’m like, ‘No, no. Bad Jonah. No. Butt up, butt up. OK.”

Oh, Jonah, what would Brad think? Heartbreaker!

Ok, let’s get real: a couple of weeks ago, when Jonah was getting ready to host Saturday Night Live, Sarah was crushing on him a bit, and I couldn’t have been more on board. I’ve had a crush on Jonah for years, ever since I saw Evan Almighty in theaters and absolutely loved it. I was like “yeah, this guy can be on the list.” He’s just so funny, and that’s a big, big part of what it takes to be attractive to me.

Channing Tatum, on the other hand? I don’t really get it. I mean, of course I get it, but I would definitely choose Jonah over Channing any day of the week, even after seeing The Vow. Honestly, I think it might have something to do with how thick his neck is. Is that weird?

But now that we’ve heard a beautiful little story of skinny dipping and tenderness and the true meaning of friendship, and now that I’ve given you my thoughts on these two dudes, it’s your turn …

Who would you do?
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I Kind of Think I Have a Crush on Jonah Hill After Watching This SNL Promo

Is that weird at all? Awkward? Because, you know, he was the disgusting friend in Superbad? I feel really, really creepy about kind of thinking that Jonah Hill is hot, and I just can’t put my finger on why.

I mean, even when I saw that he’d split his pants last week or whenever it was, I kind of thought it was hot. It’s got to be the brush with near-penis that’s got me going.

Can I name the things that I love about Jonah Hill? Can I? And then we can see if we agree on any of it? OK, let’s do the damn thing.

1 – His voice. He’s got such a silky smooth voice, and even when he’s not doing the porno-radio operator voice, it’s still pretty amazing.

2 – He’s friends with Brad Pitt. Come on. Anyone who’s cool enough to be friends with Brad Pitt has got to be … you know, pretty cool.

3 – As long as he doesn’t have the ‘fro that he had in that awful movie I talked about above, he’s pretty hot both bulkier and on the thinner side. I just don’t care. I know. I don’t.

4 – Did I happen to mention he’s good friends with Brad Pitt? If you were dating Jonah, I guess that’d be like dating Brad Pitt by association. Kind of.

5 – Jonah Hill occasionally stays at Brad Pitt’s house. Isn’t that something?

6 – He’s funny as hell, flat out.

7 – Pretty much anything to do with Brad Pitt.

Can we all just love Jonah for a little while here and wish him the best of luck on his upcoming SNL hosting gig? He’s a sure bet to be way better than Lindsay f-cking Lohan at any rate (and a lot more appealing, too).

The Stars Went Dancing After the 65th Annual Baftas

Photo: Gillian Anderson at the 65th annual Baftas

We here in the U.S. don’t do a great job of covering the Baftas—which is weird, since we export all our biggest movie stars to the event every year. (We also send Christina Ricci, apparently. Oh, well.)

So the Baftas happened six days ago, and you heard not-a-peep from me. Whatever. But The Guardian‘s fly-on-a-wall account of the Baftas afterparty is absolutely hilarious.

Here is what I learned:

- Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer both danced a little bit.

- Ralph Fiennes and Michael Fassbender also cut a rug—not as a pair, but what a delicious sight that would’ve been.

- Gillian Anderson danced on a table. (We are assured that she did this while projecting an air of grace, elegance, and dignity, but again, she was up on a table.)

- Jonah Hill danced until his suit (the pants? the jacket?) split.

- Director Lynne Ramsay (We Need to Talk About Kevin, Morvern Callar) spent all night smoking outside. I love her! She is like if a leather motorcycle jacket were a person.

As a sidenote, I am finally making a “Gillian Anderson” category. This is like the third time I’ve needed to refer to a Gillian category, and I finally have a sense of follow-through. How have we never had a Gillian Anderson category??? Wasn’t she, at one time, the most searched-for woman on the Internet? (After Teri Hatcher, I think. Oh, you young’uns don’t even remember Lois and Clark, do you.)

(Gillian via Grazia Daily.)

You Missed It: Jonah Hill’s Penis

photo of jonah hill pictures
Don’t be too broken up about it, though: I missed it, too. We all did. Hell, I think even he did.

These photos are from the BAFTA awards (which also happened this weekend, in addition to the Grammys and Whitney Houston’s death, and a zillion other things)

You might *think* these photos are NSFW at first glance, but trust me: they’re not. There’s no sign of a penis or a ball in sight, and it’s really kind of disappointing. I know Jonah Hill’s not, you know, Brad Pitt caliber or anything, but hey. A Jonah Hill penis is better than no penis at all, right?

photo of jonah hill pictures photos penis ripped pants wardrobe malfunction pics

What kind of underwear do you think he wears, anyway? I always figured Jonah as a boxers-kind-of dude, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe it’s actually thongs. Or g-strings. Or tighty-whities. Big old tighty-whities that come up over the bellybutton.