*Drum beat*

Are you ready, Liz? (“Uh-huh.”)
Mireee? (“Yeah.”)
Chuck? (“OK.”)
All right, readers!
Let’s goooooooooooooooo!

*Guitar riff*

Here’s one from Buzzfoto. Everyone says Buzzfoto’s gossip blinds are a load of hooey, but they can’t all be wrong. Right?

This once A-list, award-winning actor has dropped off the radar in the last few years. A source tells us he obsessively watches right-wing news and radio broadcasts like Glenn Beck, while stocking up on gold and weapons, preparing for ‘the end.’ His friends have tried to offer help, but he complains to our source that they are ‘nothing but Hollywood liberal socialists’ who have an agenda. His family and friends are worried as he’s becoming more extreme, and the source also claims he’s shelled out big bucks to install a bunker on his property.

I consulted with my friend Mike on this one, and he landed a pretty good guess: Jon Voight.

No matter your personal politics, it checks out. Except for Tower Heist, Voight’s last movie was like three years ago. Since then he’s been waaaay into politics—last year, the Washington Post published Voight’s scathing “open letter” to President Obama, in which Voight wrote, “You have brought to Arizona a civil war,” and “Your destruction of this country may never be remedied, and we may never recover.”

And there you have it. Jon Voight is probably building a secret bunker.

“Oh, man,” my friend Mike said to me after I suggested his guess was solid. “Could I have gotten it in one?” Then: “Please don’t let it be Freddie Prinze, Jr.”

And the man in the back said “everyone’s on crack”
and it turned into a Blind Item Blitz!
And the girl in the corner said, “Jenn, I gotta warn you
“This’ll turn into a Blind Item Blitz!”

Here’s a major Blind from the Entertainment Lawyer at Crazy Days and Nights:

This barely B-list actress who has had some great roles in popcorn movies that bombed is pregnant. She has not announced it yet, not because she is not happy, but because she is still trying to figure out who the father is. Rumor has it that it might be this married B list co-star of one of her bigger bombs.

OK, for this one, almost is guessing Olivia Wilde. Just, yikes. I don’t even want to speculate as to who Dad is because, again, we’re guessing from a pool of married dudes.

Yeah, this whole thing is pretty gnarly.

It’s! It’s! A Blind Item Blitz! It’s! It’s! A Blind Item Blitz!

Chicken Legs Jolie and someone who may or may not have been Brad Pitt (we cannot know for sure because he never takes off his damn sunglasses), hit up the big premiere of Salt, the summer blockbuster wherein Angelina Jolie continues to redefine the role of women in action flicks.

I guess all is well with Angie and her father again, because Jon Voight was present and accounted for, along with Angelina’s brother and pre-Brad make-out partner James Haven.

Angie stopped to take photos with fans (really, really cute — because the fans couldn’t cross the rope, Angie took their cameras and held them up to take the photos herself, the way you do with all your girlfriends in a bar when you don’t trust any of the nearby douchebags to touch your camera), chatted with costar Liev Schreiber, and greeted Naomi Watts with a big hug. Kristin Cavallari was inexplicably there (good publicist, I suppose), but luckily Angelina Jolie didn’t take a photo with her (the world would explode).

All things considered, Angelina looks great here. She rarely does these red carpets anymore, but she looks the happiest I’ve seen her look in a long time. She’s still incomparably beautiful, but it’s been gradually turning into a more mature sort of beauty and less of a gasp! sexpot! kind of beauty. I like that for her. I do wish she’d eat a little more, but, all in all, I really enjoyed going through this set of pics. It’s always nice to see Angelina doing her thing.

Jon Voight went out to breakfast in Los Angeles yesterday morning and he had a random little boy with him. OK, so he’s  probably a neighbor or a family friend or some Big Brother assignment, but there’s something a little strange-looking about the whole situation. For someone who seems to alienate the hell out of his real kids, why is Jon dragging yet another young person in to his life?

Jon Voight and Angelia Jolie recently reconciled after years of not speaking, and you’d think that Jon would have learned a thing or two about keeping his mouth shut over the years, but luckily he didn’t. Luckily for us, I mean. I’m sure it’s a living hell for Angelina to have a father like this.

The actor went to Radar Online to discuss his reunion with Angelina and while he’s not exactly a pro like Michael Lohan when it comes to ruining his daughter’s life, the guy’s not bad. Here are some choice quotes:

“It was just wonderful to spend time with Angelina and Brad and the children. I’ve been waiting so long to hug my grandchildren and it was amazing, they are the most beautiful, loving kids you could imagine and I’m not just saying that because I’m their grandfather, they really are something special.”

“Angelina and Brad are so happy together and they are the most amazing, loving parents I’ve ever seen. It truly moved me to see how Angie is as a mom, I am so proud of her – she has so much love to give and to share with the children and with Brad.”

“Angie and I have been in contact on the phone and by email for some time now. We’ve been working towards a full reconciliation for a while. Angie had to feel it was the right time to bring me into the lives of her and the kids and after some work she decided the moment had arrived.”

You see, it’s not that anything he said was bad, it’s just that he’s saying it at all. He paints his daughter, her man and their children in a wonderful light but, uh… STFU, Jon! Either this guy doesn’t actually care about having a relationship with his daughter or he’s completely insane. Either way, how sad for Angelina that this is her father.

Jolie and her father, actor Jon Voight, haven’t been on speaking terms since 2001, when he used a television appearance to make a public appeal for his daughter to get help for “her serious mental problems.”

But things may be looking up for their father/daughter relationship. This afternoon, the two were photographed boarding a water taxi together in Venice, along with Brad and a few of the adorable Captain Planeteers.

While riding in a taxi together isn’t exactly indisputable proof that they’ve worked out all their problems, it’s a good sign that they are at least talking to each other.

Ever since Jon Voight went on Access Hollywood back in 2001 and made a tearful plea for his daughter, Angelina Jolie, to get help for her “serious mental problems”, the two have been out of contact. Obviously feeling betrayed, Angelina cut her father out of her life all together and dismissed his claims by saying that he was the one who needed help. Basically, they were the original Michael and Lindsay Lohan.

Jon has made many public statements about how horrible the estrangement from his daughter has been, but Angelina maintained that it was in the best interest of her and her children to continue to stay cut off. According to Jon, she finally has changed her stance.

“We’re in touch, but not regularly.  We love each other and that’s the most important thing,” he said in a recent statement. He also claimed that Angelina was the first one to reach out and that, although they don’t speak often, they both know that maintaining a relationship is important. “Angie made the initial contact.  Brad [Pitt] has been supportive- a key factor in her reaching out.”

I’m thinking that Jon is just looking for some press and that Angelina is more than busy with her family and career. Whenever Jon gets press these days, it’s because he’s speaking out about his daughter in the press, something that I’m sure will continue to keep the two of them apart. Given the nature of their estrangement, I’m sure that every time he mentions her name, he decreases the odds of those phone calls ever becoming regular.

You know what’s weird?  Brad Pitt was married to Jennifer Aniston who is estranged from her mother.  Now he’s with Angelina Jolie who is estranged from her father.  I’m sure there’s some deep psychological reason why Brad selects women who have dysfunctional parent relationships. 

And though I think people should try their hardest to maintain contact with family, I understand that it can’t always be worked out.  Today, I am understanding the rift between Angelina and her father a whole lot more than I did before. 

If you’re at work, and staying awake is a requirement, you may not want to watch eight plus minutes of Jon Voight, on C-span no less.  Oy.  Let me give you the highlight:  Voight called for an end to “this false prophet Obama.”  People are mad and some bloggers are even implying that the bloated actor was calling for Barack’s assassination.  I may not personally agree with Jon Voight’s politics, and I may personally think that he sounds a bit nuts, but I don’t think he was talking about murder…just about the 2010 election.  What say you?

Remember just a couple days ago when Roseanne Barr took to her blog to call Jon Voight a “frightened little girl in a pink ballet tutu,” among other things?

Well, Jon Voight is not going to sit back and take it.

He released a rebuttal today (shown above), accusing Roseanne of being “sick of mind” and suggesting that she is a “psychopathic liar.”

I can’t decide how I feel about this.

Was Voight’s response appropriate or should he not have responded to Roseanne’s comments at all?

Is there anything more wonderful than when totally unqualified celebrities weigh in on matter that are actually important? Jon “Angelina’s Dad” Voight may not be able to have a relationship with any of his six grandchildren, because of what a psychopath he’s been toward Angelina in the past, but that’s not going to stop him from spewing vile political nonsense in the Op-Ed pages of the Washington Post. I don’t talk politics on this site a lot, because I’m probably more informed about the exact shape of Lindsay Lohan’s labia than I am about politics (I can draw it from memory now!), but I have to say I think Mr. Voight crossed one hell of a line with this scathing, presumptuous epistolary. I mean, I don’t know much about Senator Obama’s platform, but I have a feeling he doesn’t plan to create a socialist America. Plus, any established actor who read the script for National Treasure 2 and thought to himself, “Yes, this is something I want to be a part of” clearly needs to rethink all of his opinions.

Some quotes:

Sen. Barack Obama has grown up with the teaching of very angry, militant white and black people: the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Louis Farrakhan, William Ayers and Rev. Michael Pfleger. We cannot say we are not affected by teachers who are militant and angry. We know too well that we become like them, and Mr. Obama will run this country in their mindset.

The Democratic Party, in its quest for power, has managed a propaganda campaign with subliminal messages, creating a God-like figure in a man who falls short in every way. It seems to me that if Mr. Obama wins the presidential election, then Messrs. Farrakhan, Wright, Ayers and Pfleger will gain power for their need to demoralize this country and help create a socialist America.

…

If Mr. Obama had his way, he would have pulled our troops from Iraq years ago and initiated an unprecedented bloodbath, turning over that country to the barbarianism of our enemies. With what he has openly stated about his plans for our military, and his lack of understanding about the true nature of our enemies, there’s not a cell in my body that can accept the idea that Mr. Obama can keep us safe from the terrorists around the world, and from Iran, which is making great strides toward getting the atomic bomb. And while a misleading portrait of Mr. Obama is being perpetrated by a media controlled by the Democrats, the Obama camp has sent out people to attack the greatness of Sen. John McCain, whose suffering and courage in a Hanoi prison camp is an American legend.

…

This is a perilous time, and more than ever, the world needs a united and strong America. If, God forbid, we live to see Mr. Obama president, we will live through a socialist era that America has not seen before, and our country will be weakened in every way.

All together now: Shut up, Jon Voight!

“I find it very heartbreaking that my children want to paint a bad guy portrait of me. I feel it comes from their inability to let go of years of programmed anger from their mother, who understandably felt quite hurt when we divorced. In all truth, I tried to give him and their mother continuous love and support and large sums of money. God knows, for years I’ve tried to mend this relationship. Perhaps the trauma of their mother’s passing has made it worse.”

Angelina Jolie’s estranged father, Jon Voight, in a statement, after son James Haven told Marie Claire that “he put my mom through years of mental abuse.”